


Now we are

by niamcuddles



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-19
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-02-26 07:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 143,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2643914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niamcuddles/pseuds/niamcuddles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam's kind of keeping a busy schedule right now, his whole life seems to basically only consist of work and studying, so what he really can't need at this time are friends who constantly want to hang out, but above that, 19 year old uni students who can't take no as an answer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, I was randomly lying in bed avoiding studying as usual and I got the idea for this fanfic that I never planned and I hate not immediately writing it down so here is the first chapter, please do tell me what you guys think bc I'm not very sure about this. Also, I can't promise to update every 3rd day like I usually do since I really shouldn't have started this because of my exams but I did anyways and I got 4 chapters done now, so I promise that those will be up until the 22nd December which is the date of my last exam so I can probably finish the story in the usual 3 days rhythm then (or maybe quicker, but this is the worst scenario, I might still update more often, it really depends). Anyways, sorry for the ramble :)

"Yeah, yeah… no, I haven't forgotten… yeah, I'm coming in a bit, I'm on my way, I-…. yeah, whatever, bye." Sighing, Liam hung his phone up a bit too aggressively, almost dropping the coke bottle he was holding under his arm, throwing a more than just annoyed look over some elderly woman's head but being barely able to even seeing the of the line.

It was unbelievable actually, that this supermarket literally only had one single cashier who, by the looks of his stressed out face, had trouble already to handle only one single person, not even talking about the fifty that were queuing up since like, 30 minutes now. And all Liam had wanted had been something to drink, sure, he could've left by now, been on time at his appointment, but then again, he had been waiting for so long, it would've all been a waste of time to leave now, that wouldn't have been Liam, he always finished what he started. Even if that involved getting yelled at for a bit afterwards, wouldn't be something new exactly.

So that's why he ignored his phone going off a second time, he just shoved it back into his pocket, resisting the urge to sigh loudly because that wouldn't have changed anything about his situation, if this cashier didn't start hurrying up soon, people would start getting fed up and leaving anyways.

"…really don't have to do that, but thank you so much, that's really nice, maybe I'm gonna be on time for my lecture now, thank you, really." There was a bump against Liam's back right after that voice had finished with their overly sweet 'thank you so much' speech, which really was the only reason why he turned around around to check to whom it belonged. "Sorry, mate."

Taking in the scene behind him, Liam quickly realized that the woman originally behind him since half an hour obviously had too much time in her life since she had just let some very stupidly grinning blonde teenage boy jump the queue. "No problem dear, you only have two items anyways."

Before Liam could subtly hint that he was in fact not that boy's 'mate' or whatever, the blonde had already turned back around to the woman, probably winking or doing something else because her face got even happier now, if Liam hadn't known better he would've said she got flustered. Which would've been ridiculous, she was at least 30 years older than that kid, and why was Liam still looking anyways, it's not like he cared, he was just bored. "It's ridiculous how many people are here, I wanted to make my roommate do the shopping, but he's in bed pretending that he's sick."

Right, that was the sort of people Liam didn't understand, the ones who just blurted out with their life story whether you wanted to hear it or not, who bombed you with information in the first 5 minutes of meeting, open books who couldn't keep one single thing to themselves. Now Liam knew why the boy had been allowed to jump the queue, he was too charming and friendly.

Before he could turn back around though, before that woman could even give an answer to the useless information she had just been provided with, the blonde turned his head, blue eyes piercing into Liam's for a second, his smile getting even wider if any possible, dimple showing in his cheek, as if queuing up at the supermarket had been the best thing to ever happen to him. "Are you really doing this for just one bottle of diet coke?"

A little taken aback by that question directed towards him, Liam first of all didn't say anything, something that barely happened to him, he always knew the right thing to say, but this was so random and this boy's attitude and smily face threw him a bit off track as well. "Uh… are _you_ doing this for nachos and salsa?"

"Seems like it, yeah. A man's gotta eat." Then he shrugged after laughing a bit too loudly over his not funny at all joke for which Liam just gave him a weird look, thinking about saying something about how bloody unhealthy nachos were but he swallowed it down, not wanting to sound like an idiot, it's not like that boy would care about nutrition facts. "Can I take a pic of you buying that diet coke?"

"Wait, what?" Was this boy insane? Why was he just casually asking this, why did he want to take pictures of Liam buying fucking coke, he couldn't know who he was, could he?

So the blonde just sighed, obviously preparing for a long story that Liam was sure he didn't care about, the only reason why he stared and didn't say anything was because well, he really did want an answer to this obnoxious question. "Look, my friend Louis, who is also my roommate and who's the one who ate all the nachos but said he couldn't buy new ones because he's 'sick'-" At this point he threw a look at Liam, one that seemed like it had some meaning behind it but Liam was just confused really. "He said that there was NO way that any guy in the world would ever buy diet coke, that it's only girls who do that, and I said that's not true and I gotta proof my point somehow, like, don't think he's a sexist now or whatever, he just meant he had never seen a guy buy diet coke and he actually is gayer than just gay, and he said that not even HE would buy diet coke but I think that-"

"Are you on crack or something?" Liam couldn't help but interrupt with something that wasn't very much like him to say, but his head was spinning with all that useless information he had no idea what to do with, what the hell, he didn't care about guys called Louis and who was gay and who wasn't, what was wrong with this blonde boy? Even though Liam was probably really influenced by the constant worry in the back of his head about how he wasn't gonna make it on time, this conversation still seemed weird anyways.

"Not today." Was the answer, followed by some giggle that Liam had to try hard and suppress rolling his eyes over, of course, this was probably some uni student who had nothing better in mind than parties and drinking, he looked quite like it as well actually, not that Liam could've judged him for it since he also didn't judge Harry for doing the exact same thing. And obviously, the blonde was just as shameless as Liam's best friend as well. "So can I?"

For a second, Liam just stared down into those blue eyes and the bright face in front of him, trying to figure out whether he was being made fun of or not, deciding to go for the latter then, what did it matter anyways right, if that meant that the boy would finally leave him alone to worry about what he was gonna choose as an excuse for later. "Fine. But not my face."

"Great! Thanks so much, mate!" There was the mate again that got Liam wanting to groan as he watched the boy hastily trying to hold everything with only one hand and arm, trying to fish his phone out of his pockets with the other, his tongue poking out between his teeth in the process. There definitely was something wrong with this kid. "Alright, your hands gotta do anyways, you look pretty much like the stereotypical kinda guy who has all the girls hanging over him." What? 

"What exactly are you trying to tell me with that?" But the boy wasn't even listening, he was obviously trying to find his camera on his phone, which had a more than just cracked screen by the way, not even looking at Liam anymore until he found it with a very happy sounding 'Ha!'. 

"Okay, just hold it in a way so I can see it, we can take more pictures, it's not like we're gonna get out of this store anytime soon." Which was true unfortunately, so Liam sighed as he got the bottle of coke out from under his arm to hold it in his hand, not being able to believe that this was seriously happening, what had the odds been of him standing next to the most talkative and awkward person in the world? Zero to one billion probably, yet here he was.

"Do you want me to throw a pose as well or something?" Liam was just joking of course, he turned the bottle around, watching the boy, who was staring at his screen, so concentrated as if this was serious business, photographing strangers with coke bottles. 

"No that's fine just… wait… HOLY SHIT!" Not only Liam almost stumbled backwards at that but several other people stared at them in shock as well as the boy obviously lost control over whatever sounds came out of his mouth, before Liam could even recover from his shock, the coke bottle got literally ripped out of his hand, photo forgotten. "Oh my god, that is so cool! I gotta show Louis this, HA, I KNEW it, I told him!"

"Um… are you okay?" Trying to keep his voice low in an attempt to stop people from staring because his cheeks were already getting hot from how embarrassing this was, Liam felt anger boiling up in him now, that boy was the rudest and most annoying person he had ever met, holy shit. "That's kinda my coke, you know, and I don't wanna be unfriendly, but-"

"That's my name on it, look!" Alright, not only did he almost shove the bottle into Liam's face now and gave him goose bumps with his more than inappropriate laugh, he also took it away too fast for Liam to even read the first word, hating himself for picking exactly this one bottle, like why did this have to happen, he wasn't that bad of a person, was he? "That's so great, I can't believe it, and Louis said that my name is only common in Ireland but here you are having it on your coke bottle, that's fate, man, I'm telling you! I'm Niall, which you probably already know now, what's your name?"

He really did have the nerve to stretch his hand towards Liam, with the nachos and salsa and now also the coke, which really did say 'Share a coke with Niall' on it now that Liam checked, under his arm, his dimple even more prominent now as he grinned as if though he had won the lottery. "I'm… Liam."

Yeah, Liam had to admit he almost made up a random name as he hesitated to shake the boy's hand, but to his excuse, all of this happening in under ten minutes was kinda messing with his head, how unlucky could he get in just one day. "Cool. Do you go to uni? I do, but only since the beginning of this semester, and I live in a dorm with my best friend Louis, I'm from Ireland you know, but we moved to England when I was 14 and I'm 19 now so I'm pretty used to it. Do you wanna exchange numbers, I haven't met a lot of cool people 'nd me 'nd Louis always get in fights about bullshit, but only small fights, nothing serious. But anyways, what did you say how old you were again?"

"Nothing, I… I didn't say anything, I just-"

"Right, how old are you?" Following along in this one sided conversation was probably harder than anything else Liam could've been doing right now, he was just staring really, wanting to be rude on one hand but not managing to actually be anything besides staying quiet, especially now when the boy cocked his head, his arms still full with the three items.

"I'm 22." And NOT in uni, but that Niall boy barely took a breath in between his words so when exactly should've Liam told him that? Especially since Niall seemed to be one of the only people who had ever managed to make Liam half speechless, but seriously, who wouldn't have been freaked out by this, just fifteen minutes ago both of them had been standing in line minding their own business. Well, Liam had at least, Niall had been flirting with 49 year old women just to get to the cashier five minutes earlier.

"Really? I would've thought you're even older, but that's great! Can I have your number, we should totally hang out sometime, imagine what kinda cool story that's gonna make if people ask how we met and we tell them it was because you had my name on your coke bottle." Right, that didn't sound like a cool story at all, Liam didn't even manage to crack a smile, which apparently didn't bother Niall, he found it funny for the both of them. "Here, hold this."

Before Liam could protest or tell Niall that there was nothing he wanted to do less than hold his stuff and exchange numbers, he already had is hands full, not exactly sure how he was gonna talk himself out of this without giving away too much, if it would have even been possible to do that, Niall seemed to be more persistent than he looked like. "I'm not sure if I… if I can just give my number out, it's… you know it's just because of work and-"

"But I'm not gonna do anything, I promise, I'm not a crazy stalker or whatever, you just tell me to shut up and not annoy you and I won't, promise, I'll even type my number in for you, you don't have to do anything, I just feel like we should really do this, I mean, what if this is the only coke bottle that has _my_ name on it, like in the whole world?!" That would surely be a tragedy according to Niall's face, Liam didn't know what to say anymore, he was just sighing internally as he thought about how much time it would cost him to go and block Niall's number as he gave a short nod, making the boy smile immensely as he seriously went ahead to get Liam's phone out of his pocket himself. "What's your code?"

Deciding that this was better than actually giving Niall his own number, Liam told him unwillingly, feeling anxious about some stranger holding his phone, but it's not like he had any hands free to change that now, he just wanted it back again as quickly as possible. "You don't have to type in your last name as well, I don't know anyone who is called Niall anyways."

Plus, Liam was probably never gonna use that number ever, so what did it matter right, but Niall just shrugged anyways, eyes glued to the screen a bit longer than Liam would've liked, he already got fidgety now. "I just sent myself a text message, that's okay, right?"

Shit, that wasn't okay at all, but having a lot of training in keeping his voice calm and face straight, Liam just nodded, suppressing yet another sigh as Niall grinned, showing his teeth as he slipped the phone back into his pocket, moving to take the nachos and salsa from Liam. How the hell had it come so far, Liam had just been thirsty for god's sake, he should've left half an hour ago already, he would for sure be late now, and to make it even worse, he also had some pretty annoying uni student now who surely would not keep his promise and shut up whenever Liam told him to. He'd have to buy a new phone, great.

"So, what are you doing after this?" Please.

"I got an appointment." Maybe not anymore, Liam would probably get fired now, well, he couldn't technically get fired but he could very well get threatened with it, and he would, for sure.

"Yeah, me too, I got a lecture but I'm already 15 minutes late and it'll take me 10 minutes to get there from here, maybe I should just skip, what do you say? Louis would be happy about that too, he's lying in bed and moaning the whole day about how bad he's feeling even though when I said I could get him some medicine he immediately said he was healthy again, he's always doing that when it's his turn to clean or to go shopping, I don't even know why we're roommates. Do you live alone?" Liam almost didn't catch the question actually, he was standing sideways, not even looking at Niall anymore, halfway zoning out at every second word because he cared so little and he was really getting stressed out now because how the hell could he still be standing in this queue?!

"I… yeah, I live alone." He still hadn't told Niall that he didn't go to uni and he also didn't plan on, it wasn't the boy's business and anyways, maybe the supermarket was not the right place for this.

Luckily, the blonde didn't seem to care about that anyways, he just sighed, already having found some way to talk about his own life again. "Wow… that must be so cool, I mean, don't get me wrong, Louis is my best friend but sometimes it gets a bit too much, we got separate rooms to sleep in though so that's pretty great, but then again…"

And yeah, then he talked on and on and Liam stopped listening to the boy's ramble, he was really angry with himself now, for just giving a random person his number, for not finding some polite but certain way to end this conversation, he always managed to stay as professional as possible, always give the right answers at the right time, so why not now?

Liam never found an answer to this, when he finally did get to the cashier, he didn't even wait to get his change back because he simply couldn't wait to rush out of the store, halfway hearing Niall's "See you soon!" but not responding or acknowledging it, if there was one thing Liam knew, it was that they would definitely not be seeing each other 'soon'.

 

—————

 

If he was being honest, the blonde boy was already completely erased from his mind again by the time he arrived and went into the building, his heart bumping a bit uncomfortably as he pushed the elevator button, nervously tapping his fingers on his jeans since no one was there anyways who he would've had to look calm in front of for. Just act like you always do, Liam, as if you couldn't give less of a fuck about how late you are, as if you're not gonna get yelled at through the phone tonight for at least half an hour, it's fine, who cares anyway, they can't say a thing.

And Liam turned out to be right, as he was being brought into the right room by some rather young assistant who almost fell into a glass door because she kept looking at Liam instead of the hallway they walked through, which he barely took any notice of though, all he was really focused on was trying to get his heart to stop bumping as if it was doing its last jumps.

"Liam! Finally, holy shit, where've you been?!" Of course, Harry's way too loud voice immediately got everyone's attention to where Liam wanted to have it at least, on himself.

There were too many people in this studio as to somehow not get embarrassed, and the worst part was, Liam knew most of them already, so he settled for a smile, one that made him seem cockier than he was, which was still better than turning red as a tomato before mumbling a stupid apology and making a fool of himself. It was better to be hated because people were scared of you. "Sorry, I got stuck in traffic, but I'm here now, it's all good."

"But you-"

"Well, I wouldn't call it _good_ , Mr. Payne, seeing as we had to change the whole plan for today just for you." Harry got cut off by a man that Liam knew only too well, he immediately made sure to wipe that stupid smile off of his face, try and be a bit more professional as he noticed with relief that everyone else was doing their work again and not staring any longer. "I'm sure your father will not be too pleased by this, but if you can live with that then so can I, I'm not the one who has to explain themselves. Get changed."

There was no need to talk back, or to even say a single word, even if Liam felt his stomach drop, he gave a short nod before walking off to a different part of the studio, closely followed by Harry of course, who was at least dressed already, even if the kinda angry face of some stylist and his messed up hair told Liam that he wasn't the only one who had in fact come too late. "Seriously, though, where've you been?"

At least he had lowered his voice now as they walked past some other models and photographers, trying to be rather quick now, this was going to be a long day. "Nowhere, I just… I just bought something to drink and the queue was like 10 kilometers long, alright?"

"You really should've stayed in school, man, you know how long 10 kil-"

"Haz, please, I'm not in the mood for this, and I do know how long 10 kilometers are, but it seemed like it." Having found his dressing room, Liam was already pulling off his jumper and shirt, well aware that he barely had any time if he didn't wanna get anymore death glares, maybe the fact that he was too busy thinking about that caused him to not watch his words. "And it seems even longer when you stand next to annoying uni students who want to take pictures of your hands."

"Liam, you really gotta tell your groupies to keep it down, that's really weird, not even Zayn had that happen." The worst part was that Harry took this seriously, he was leaning in the doorframe while Liam tried to figure out what outfit he was expected to wear first, which was his own fault, if he would've been on time, they would've explained the schedule to him, but he had to take a good guess now and hope for the best.

"One, I don't have groupies, you got talked up in public a whole lot more times than me, and two, the uni student was in fact a _he_ and he didn't want to photograph my hands but the diet coke I was holding because apparently I'm the only guy in the world who has ever bought one and he hand some serious issues as well." Wow, talking about it seemed even stranger to be honest, like, Liam couldn't even believe he was still thinking about Niall, he hadn't during the whole way here, but now that he had brought some distance to this incident, it seemed even more awkward that it had occurred. 

"Pretty sure every single guy in this studio buys diet coke though." Which was probably true but Liam just shrugged as he threw a quick look into the mirror, very thankful for the fact that he didn't have style his hair himself. "Hope you didn't tell him that you have to watch your figure though… or maybe you should've told him, who wouldn't wanna go out with a model, right?"

How did they always come to this topic? Right, it's all Harry's mind revolved around apparently, Liam knew him well enough by now as to not roll his eyes or sigh or try to change the topic, there was no use. "We're not models, Haz, not all the time anyways, Zayn is, but not us, and I'm pretty sure I'll see you tomorrow at your desk in a suit editing some shitty story that won't make it through anyways."

"Let me dream, Li, model or not, we're still gonna be in that magazine, right? And no matter how many bad words you have to say about your dad, I'm still gonna go to his office tomorrow and thank him again for always giving me the best jobs to do with you even though I'm not his son." For a moment, Liam just looked at his friend before settling for half a smile as he slowly shook his head, making his way back to the main area as he thought about how there really was no way to bring Harry's mood down, he always saw the positive aspect in every situation and he was always so grateful that it made Liam feel bad for behaving the way he was. "Anyways, what happened with that uni student? Was he at least cute?"

"Hard to say, I can barely recall what he looked like now, if you wanna try your luck, I got his number." Unfortunately, Liam would gladly make this Niall guy Harry's problem, but seeing the other's grin, that wasn't gonna happen.

"No way, Liam, I'm not gonna ruin this for you, he must've been pretty breathtaking if you asked him for his phone number." Now that did make Liam laugh for a second, because just the thought of him asking for that boy's number seemed pretty ridiculous, why in god's name would he have done that?

"If him taking my phone to type it in and then sending himself text messages counts, then yeah, I totally begged him for his number, you caught me, his blonde hair was magnificent." Because that's pretty much all Liam remembered, well and those really blue eyes piercing into his, and of course the annoying voice. Well, not really annoying in what it had sounded like, but in the way it had never stopped for more than five seconds.

Harry crunched his face up at this, apparently not very keen on helping Liam out with this case. "Blonde? I'm more into brunette."

"Don't we all know that…" Liam mumbled, chuckling as Harry's elbow met his ribs, quickly sensing his chance to change the topic though as he grabbed his friend's elbow, trying to sound surprised as he looked down. "They really did a good job at covering your tattoos."

"I know, right? You can barely see it through, took ages as well, be glad you don't have any, they would've given you even more shit for being late." Well, it's not that Liam could've had tattoos even if he had wanted any, 'unprofessional', that's what his dad always called them, at least if they would've been somewhere on Liam's body, it didn't matter what anyone else did, for as long as Liam kept the good name of their family, all was well.

The photoshoot seemed to take forever, even longer than queuing up for a stupid diet coke that Liam had never even gotten to take more than a sip of. Harry was enjoying himself though, so Liam tried to as well, but it was hard while constantly having the phone call in the back of his head that he was 99,9% sure he'd get that night, probably as soon as he walked through his front door later.

It's not that he could've been mad at his dad for telling him off for pulling things like that, it's not that Liam didn't understand how important it was that he behaved well and that he didn't pull negative attention on himself, that he should be grateful for having all these opportunities that he had, but sometimes… sometimes that was really fucking hard.

Days like these, Liam almost missed going to school, even though he had hated it and even though he had nothing to complain about now, his dad being the CEO and creator of a really famous magazine, making a shit ton of money ever since Liam could remember, buying him anything he wanted, getting him a job right after graduating with the only condition that Liam took online classes at uni and then even giving Harry a job as well after Liam bringing it up just once.

And then besides the fact that they had pretty good jobs, especially for the ages they were, they got to do stuff like photoshoots as well, which was always more exciting for Harry than it was for Liam, he had been through this even while he had still been a child, but it was different now of course, and not so fun anymore if half of the people in here hated him and called him things behind his back because of course, it was common knowledge that Liam was only here because of his father, that he hadn't even finished studying or had had to apply or come to a job interview or any of that, no, he was just randomly here, being the chef of a whole floor while still being one of the youngest people working here. 

And it's not even that Liam hated doing any of this because he didn't, it was more that he felt guilty sometimes, and then more than anything, he kinda didn't really know if this was what he had wanted to do with his life, he wasn't complaining, he was just contemplating, if maybe there should be more to life than having lots of money and a really cool apartment for himself in one of the nicest areas around.

Harry was different than Liam, he took online classes as well and had his own place but it was a lot smaller, and he had probably 50 times more friends than Liam, whom he went out with to have a drink or do whatever, it's not something Liam ever did, because that's simply something his parents wouldn't have wanted him to do, misbehave, getting drunk in public, not that he judged his friend for any of it, he simply couldn't give in whenever Harry begged him to come as well, he mostly stayed at home then to study, or drive over to his parents' house whenever there was something going on, like some serious dinner party or whatever, he couldn't risk anybody seeing him wasted somewhere, because other than Harry, Liam would run danger actually getting into the newspaper because of this, since his dad was never shy to give interviews and brag about his son, their whole family was more in the public eye than Liam would have ever wanted it to be.

So that was basically all he did, behave, work, study, try to keep a straight upper lip, stay professional no matter what, just so that his dad would be pleased, because no matter what Liam said, his father was a very generous man indeed, if only you tried hard enough and didn't cause any trouble, something that Liam clearly had today and for which he would have to pay as soon as the photoshoot was over.

 

————

 

"Sure you don't wanna come, Li? I texted Zayn, he's gonna be there as well if he'll make it." It was dark outside as they walked to Liam's car, in their own clothes again, feeling tired after being blended by the camera for hours on end, yet somehow Harry had still gotten it into his mind that he wanted to do something tonight, to which Liam had said no already at least 5 times, he couldn't go, he'd have to get up at 6am tomorrow and besides that, he was pretty sure Zayn wasn't the only person they'd hang out with. If he would even come at all, other than Harry and Liam, who had become friends in school, they had met Zayn a few years ago because he actually really was a model and they had had shoots with him and somehow become friends on the way, he wasn't as loud as Harry though, studying Arts, so Liam highly doubted that their friend would actually show up tonight.

"I'm pretty sure yeah, tell Zayn I said hi though, if he comes I mean, I'll see you tomorrow then? Try to look a little bit as if you don't have a hangover, alright?" Not that Harry couldn't have gotten through with it because he always did, he could basically do anything he wanted and he never got scolded or anything, simply because he was not Liam's dad's son, he wasn't responsible for anyone's reputation but his own.

"When did I ever come to work hungover, Liam, seriously?" The cheeky grin on his lips that Liam could barely see in the streetlights already told him that it was more a joke than anything else, yet for the the sake of it, Liam still decided to start counting aloud on his fingers.

"Let me think… right, that one time you said you went to bed at 10 and then almost threw up over my desk the next day, then again one whole week after new year's eve which I still don't understand, last week when we had that meeting, the day after your birthday and-"

"Okay, okay, it might have happened once or twice, but no one even noticed except for you so whatever." Making some gesture with his hand, Harry apparently decided for the both of them to drop the topic as they were almost at Liam's car now and he got his keys out to lock up, a little concerned thinking about what his friend was gonna do now. That was one problem Liam had, he cared too much and got too involved with things, and people, even though most of the day he pretended to not have a lot of emotions, because that's one thing his dad had taught him, and though it worked surprisingly enough, it just wasn't really who Liam was.

"Need me to drive you somewhere? Not too far though, I barely got any gas left." And if he was being honest, Liam just wanted to fall into his bed and sleep for two months instead of stopping at a gas station tonight, so he felt both relieved and guilty when Harry immediately shook his head.

"I'll be fine, Li, thanks. I'll see you tomorrow then?" That question was pretty unnecessary, but Liam nodded anyways, letting himself being pulled into a short hug before already having his hand on the door handle, silently praying that maybe his dad would forget to call him, his thoughts being interrupted by his friend though, who somehow thought it was a good idea to walk backwards next to the street just so he could half yell at Liam in the middle of the night. "Do me a favor and don't delete the uni student's number, alright?"

"Thought you didn't like blondes, Haz." Although as far as Liam could remember, Niall's hair had probably been died anyways, not that he ever intended to find out, the memory of the boy was already fading, if it hadn't been for Harry constantly bringing it up, Liam wouldn't have spent a second thought on him ever since walking out of that goddamn store.

"I want you to keep the number for yourself and not for me, you should call him." Of course that's what he had meant, Liam rolled his eyes, well aware that Harry couldn't see it from the distance, already about to get into his car. "Promise me you'll think about it at least?"

Giving some sign with his hand that could be interpreted in any way Harry wanted to, Liam finally sat down, not the least bit interested in calling anybody at any time to be honest, he also wouldn't think about it, or take further part in the usual 'Liam, remember the last time both of us have been in a relationship has been 2 years ago', which was completely true anyways.

Sure, Liam had dated, but somehow he had grown bored of it, and then at one point, after realizing his last girlfriend had really only wanted his money, he had simply given up on it, said no to every weird date Harry had tried setting him up with, telling himself that he was too busy for any of that. And anyways, Harry was single as well, since half a year now, so he really didn't have any room to talk, did he?

The drive home took longer than Liam would've liked, he was hypersensitive to every sound, thinking it was his phone going off when really it was just some other car outside or whatever, it was actually embarrassing how scared he was of that call, or even worse, of not being able to pick up and having to _call back_.

So luckily, Liam still had zero messages and calls once he locked his door up, immediately setting his phone from silent to loud, more than just anxious about making his dad even angrier than he probably already was. This had happened a few times before, too many times, and yet still, Liam hadn't managed to calm down about it or stop messing up, sometimes it was unintentional, but today it had really simply been his own fault and he didn't even know why he had actually done it, maybe he had wanted to take a risk, maybe he had been pissed off about not even getting asked whether he wanted to do the shoot, but then again, a lot of people would've killed for the position Liam was in, so he had to enjoy it, right?

Nothing happened for a good hour, Liam managed to eat half an apple before feeling as he'd have to empty his stomach from nervousness and change into some more comfortable clothes before lying in bed and restlessly zapping through the channels of his TV, not daring to take a shower or do anything that would've interfere with him hearing his phone going off.

And then really, at like 11:30 pm and Liam already thinking about taking some caffeine pills to stay awake, he almost tumbled to the floor because of his ringtone disturbing the silence, immediately causing his heart to beat 10 times faster and his hands to get sweaty as he nervously reached over to his bedside table, sitting up straight now as he checked the screen, just to be sure. He suddenly felt pretty cold at reading those three letters.

"Hi, Dad." It was something Liam knew how to do, especially over the phone, it was easier to pretend and be calm, because it was only his voice he had to control, not his facial expressions or anything, he could do this, those calls never lasted more than 2 threats within 10 minutes.

"Liam. How are you doing?" That was the thing, his dad didn't openly get mad at Liam or yell, but trying to figure out what he actually meant was maybe even harder to bear.

"I'm good, yeah… how are you? And mum?" Stupid, they lived only twenty minutes apart yet Liam barely ever came home, they hardly saw each other even though his dad and him were in the same building for hours every day.

"We're doing fine, thanks for asking." Closing his eyes, Liam knew what was going to come after that short silence and pointless chatter, because his dad wouldn't have called otherwise, it was mostly his mum who randomly called just to check up on him once in two weeks, so the fact alone that they were talking was enough proof that something was going to happen. "So, how was the shoot today?"

For a moment, Liam thought about playing along, about answering casually, but for some reason, he really couldn't do this, not tonight. "Look, I'm sorry for whatever you heard, I was-"

"That's not what I was talking about but if you want to we can also straight get to it." Shit no, that's not what Liam wanted at all, he swallowed hard now, feeling his breathing increase as he blankly stared at the muted TV without actually seeing anything. "Alright, Liam. If I ever hear you coming late again and handling it so poorly then I'm really going to have to think about whether it was the right decision to make you the head of your department, you're supposed to know how to handle these situations, and if you get stuck in traffic then you leave an hour early to make sure you'll still be on time. I don't want to hear anything like this again, you understand me? You're 22, you're an adult, so act like one."

"I… I'm sorry." He truly was now, that was literally the worst for Liam, to know that he had made a mistake, that it had been all his own fault and that his parents were disappointed. 

"Don't apologize, I wanna _see_ that you're sorry, Liam, because lately I've gotten the feeling that you haven't been in it with all your heart. So if you keep it together now and safe me from getting anymore embarrassing calls about my son behaving like a brat then it's all good, but if you step out of line like this again, there will be consequences, maybe even ones that'll effect Harry this time. Got it?" Could he have been any clearer?

"I got it." Liam's voice was shaking a bit now, but he was pretty sure it still sounded firm enough for his dad to believe him, to not hear how close he was to having tears spill over. God, why was he such a baby?

"Great. Well then, I'll let you sleep now, your mother says hi, by the way, and she's asking when you'll come over for dinner again." Preferably never.

"I… I'll call tomorrow, okay?" And definitely NOT his dad, but he probably knew that anyways, they barely talked if it wasn't about work or how well Liam was doing at his online courses.

"Great. Goodnight." See, and that was it, short and painless, Liam had just gotten threatened with losing his position and to make it even worse, threatened with having Harry getting fired because of him.

The thing was, his dad knew exactly what to say to make sure that Liam would really get into it with all of his heart like he wanted him to, if it would've only been for himself, Liam wasn't so sure if he would've been so scared, he knew that his dad wasn't going to fire him altogether, he would simply put him in one of the lower positions and not let him do things anymore like today, make sure Liam earned a lot less money, which he could live with.

But sad thing was, Liam knew how embarrassed and disappointed his parents would be if they would really have to take such extreme consequences, it was also why he had always stayed up the whole night to study when he had still been in school, to keep straight As, because he had wanted his parents to be proud of him. None of that had changed up to this day. 

And then there was Harry of course, who depended on this job, because his family didn't have a lot of money, which was also why Liam would never tell him about any of this, not only because he was pretty sure that he could keep himself together now and make it alright again because he always managed to, but also because he didn't need his best friend to worry with him, one of them was enough.

So that night, after calming down a bit, maybe letting a tear or two escape in the shower and snuggling into bed, the last thing Liam would've expected to hear was his phone going off a second time, just a text message this time though, he already got worried, thinking Harry had managed to get drunk within two or three hours, but as he actually blinked against the bright light of the screen, Liam couldn't have been more mistaken.

 

_Niall :) 00:46 am_

_hey, sorry if i woke you, just wanted to ask, you wanna go to lunch tomorrow?_

 

Great, very great. Who did this boy think he was?! Liam had managed to erase him from his mind for a few hours yet here he was again getting onto his nerves. And what even was that question?! Or the smiley face next to his name? Ridiculous, just the thought of them actually going to lunch together almost made Liam laugh, he really had more important things to focus on now, he needed to calm down his dad, not waste his time with some uni student who clearly didn't have a filter and would probably keep texting Liam if he didn't stop this immediately, right at this second.

 

_To Niall :) 00:50 am_

_Can't, work_

 

Right, he'd get the message now, Liam would just keep telling him that until he would stop trying, there was no way Niall couldn't get the hint. Like, it wasn't even that personal, it was just that Liam really did have more important things to do, he couldn't make friendships or have fun, he had to really hang in there now and try his hardest.

The only problem was, as much as Liam would've liked to be rude, as much as he didn't want people to read his emotions, or to even assume that he had any, he felt the pull deep in his stomach as he seriously received another message just a minute later, not getting as annoyed by it as expected, but rather feeling guilty all of a sudden. 

 

_Niall :) 00:51 am_

_oh, okay :( maybe some other time?_

 

Shit, he didn't wanna be a bad person or hurt anyone's feelings, it's just… what was he supposed to do? How was he gonna tell this boy that he couldn't hang out with him or go to lunch or do whatever if he seemed so desperate to make any friends? Maybe he should have really just given Harry the younger boy's number, they'd get along great for sure, and whoever that Louis guy was Niall had mentioned 50 times probably as well, that'd be the best solution for everyone.

Or maybe he should just start ignoring Niall, after all, he didn't seem like the kinda person who was shy to go and make friends, who knows how many people he had chatted up in supermarkets, if Liam just stopped responding, all of this would be forgotten in a week, he was sure of it as he locked his phone and shoved it under his pillow, pressing his eyes shut while trying not to imagine the blonde boy's stupid grin disappearing all because Liam behaved like an asshole when really, he was just bloody tired and stressed out.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i decided i'm just gonna keep updating normally until i run out of chapters, which i hopefully won't, so enjoy!

It worked, for a whole week and 4 days, Liam managed to block the supermarket incident out of his head, Niall texted a few more times but he gave up when Liam refused to answer, he just worked almost day and night, studying in between and telling Harry another 12 times that he had no time at all to hang out with him and his friends. Not that he would've wanted to actually, but he clearly didn't have any time if he wanted to make up for his step put of line almost two weeks again, he hadn't heard from his dad ever since so that was a rather good sign.

On friday night, Liam finally allowed himself to take a bit of a break, he didn't have anything to do for the whole weekend, so maybe he'd just study a bit, sleep lots in between and try to recover for monday, but he didn't plan on even going outside to be honest, he felt kinda tired anyways, though it was only about 10 pm on a friday night, but whatever, no one was there to judge Liam.

When his phone lit up a few times, Liam once against suspected Harry to have gotten drunk or something, maybe trying to coax Liam into coming over once again, so he didn't get up from his place on the couch immediately, waiting a few minutes just to see his screen light up yet again. What the hell was wrong with that boy, how many times would Liam have to say no for him to get it?

With a bit of a grunt because he hadn't gotten up in like 2 hours, Liam lifted his body unwillingly, scooting over to the coffee table to try and reach his phone, furrowing his eyebrows as he scrolled through his messages, which weren't exactly how he had expected them. Not at all actually.

 

_Niall 10:05 pm_

_heyyyyy leeemmooo, whats uppp??? ;)_

_Niall 10:06 pm_

_wanhanj coemo outf fosar a drinkk??_

_Niall 10:10 pm_

_sdtop ignorinhg meee :(((_

 

Shit. 

After Liam had removed that stupid smiley face after Niall's name a few days ago, he would've thought that seeing messages from the blonde boy would be a little less weird, but apparently he had thought wrong.

There was absolutely no doubt that Niall was completely shitfaced, Liam had a really hard time even reading the second message, but after the third one, he stopped trying to identify words because it was literally just a mass of letters that didn't even make any sense.

On one hand, Liam wanted to turn his phone off, throw it at the end of the couch and just go to sleep, on the other hand though, he felt his stomach drop a little, if this would've been Harry, Liam would've called him up, asked what the hell was going on and then yes, he'd probably driven to wherever his friend was at to pick him up because that's just who he was, Liam didn't usually drink himself and he didn't blame his friends for doing it, but he'd always try to go there and make sure they were safe.

So that was his problem now. Niall and him weren't friends or anything, they had met 1 single time and Liam had only ever sent one text message to the younger boy, yet still he had about 10 on his phone now, one with worse spelling than the prior one. Didn't that boy have anyone else to annoy, other friends? That Louis guy maybe? Apparently not.

For half an hour, Liam just sat there, praying that the messages would stop, that he could just turn his phone off and try to forget about it, try to ignore the guilt deep in the pit of his stomach, but his silent prayers went by unnoticed, Niall didn't stop, plus he seemed to get more drunk by the second. Awesome.

It was probably the most stupid thing Liam could've done as he stood up with the phone still in his hand, stretching a bit as he walked over to the window, not being able to believe what he was about to do. Damn him for trying to be a good person, for always feeling so involved and responsible for things, why him? Why couldn't have someone else bought that stupid fucking coke bottle?!

Pressing the phone to his ear, Liam almost hoped that no one would pick up, but why wouldn't Niall, he had been texting nonstop for 30 minutes now, if he was 'sober' enough to type, he could probably answer a call as well. And unfortunately, or maybe not, Liam turned out to be right.

"Heyyy…" Niall's voice was barely understandable, plus the loud background adding up to that almost caused Liam to go deaf, he had to turn the volume down actually or else his ear would've probably fallen off. Why exactly was he doing this again?

"Niall, are you drunk?" A more than unnecessary question, but it's not like the other boy would be able to remember this judging by the sounds of it. 

"Nopee… jus' a little… Liammm… " He sounded as if though he would pass out any second, his voice almost got lost in whatever was going on around him, probably some night club, Liam suppressed a sigh at the thought of this, he shouldn't have called.

"Look, you gotta stop texting me, alright?" But it didn't sound half as angry as Liam wanted it to, actually, he even hurried to add something else so it wouldn't come across too mean. "Maybe go look for your friends, alright? Or someone you know… is anyone there you know?"

"Nooo, I… Louis… Louis is gone and I… forgot where the car is and… shit, Liam…" Wait, what car?! Was he planning on driving, was that boy on a suicide mission or something? And fuck that Louis guy, why would he leave his best friend alone, and drunk?!

"Don't get into a car, okay? Don't even go looking for it just… " Bloody hell, Liam couldn't drive there, could he? He didn't even know where Niall was or anything, plus he didn't know if the blonde would even get into his car, though he seemed quite skinny and he was wasted as well, there probably wouldn't have been much resistance, but then again… did he even want to get into the car right now and pick some stranger up? Like, that boy would probably see it as an invitation or something and never leave Liam alone again. But he couldn't just leave him there either, this was Liam's problem now as well, if he hung up now and Niall died or something, he'd never forgive himself. Fuck. "Okay, where are you?…. Niall?"

"…what?" It sounded pretty absent, as if he was about to fall asleep any second, the background noises hadn't stopped though, which was good, at least he was still inside and not stumbling on the streets or anything, it was ridiculous actually how many scenarios of that boy dying Liam already had in his mind, like, he didn't even care about Niall.

"Where are you? I'll come and get you, alright? But stay where you are, okay? Promise me you won't go anywhere." Awesome, now Liam had to go and change with one hand while Niall still refused to answer, he sniffed into the phone though, as if he was crying now, causing another pinch in Liam's stomach area, he hated people crying, it was the worst thing. 

"You know…. know the Irish pub by… umm…" Yeah, Liam had a pretty good idea where Niall was, being irish and all, it made him sigh internally once again as he thought about driving there to be honest, if he wasn't mistaken, he had picked Harry up from there once as well. And then almost had had to clean his whole car because it had been full of puke, fun times.

"Alright, I'll come and get you, just… don't do anything stupid, alright? And don't drink anything, I'll be there as quick as I can." Ridiculous, the fact that Liam got stressed out from this while Niall was half dead on the other phone, just answering something like 'Mhm' before hanging up without another word.

Great, so much about going to bed early and studying, now he was about to drive and get some drunk stranger into his car and he didn't even know why. Maybe it was because Niall seemed so helpless, like, he was a lot smaller than Liam, only 19 years old and just started uni, and even despite his seemingly endless confidence he apparently still hadn't managed to find someone who he could call instead of the guy he had randomly talked to in the supermarket. 

All Liam really was certain of though was the fact that he was definitely doing the right thing here, whether he and Niall were friends or not, he couldn't just leave him hanging now, which didn't mean anything though, he would've pretty much done this for anyone if people had asked him, but no one ever did, because they assumed Liam was a cocky asshole, so it was quite nice actually, to know that Niall was completely clueless, non biased in that sense, Liam was just Liam to him and not the guy 'whose dad owns the whole place'.

Maybe that still wasn't a good enough explanation as to why he got into his car in the middle of the night, hoping that he'd meet no one he knew because he was literally only wearing old jeans and a shirt, not exactly what he'd ever choose as an outfit to go into public. Or what he'd be _allowed_ to choose. 

Getting to where Liam believed Niall was at wasn't too difficult, it was about a ten minutes drive, plus he wisely parked on the other side of the street, knowing very well that the blonde boy was most likely not the only person who had consumed a little bit too much. After all it was a friday, though Liam always had to remind himself that he was the exception in always staying at home on that day, he still knew that probably 99% percent of people his age were definitely choosing the pub over studying.

To make things even worse, if being talked to from the side by some guys whose words actually sounded more than a slur, Niall wasn't anywhere in front of the pub, there were some other people though, a girl throwing up on the sidewalk which already got Liam feeling bad again. See, that was the thing, if he had just driven by without knowing Niall, he would've gone now to help that girl instead, but she had friends with her anyways, so Liam could ignore the slight guilt bubbling up for now. 

It took a while, searching for Niall, there were too many people inside, it smelled too much like alcohol and cigarettes, the air was kinda smoky as well by now, exactly the kinda place that Liam wouldn't have chosen to go in a million years. Yet he was here, to rescue some boy he didn't even know well enough to spell his last name.

But actually, Liam started doubting slightly whether he really had chosen the right place after not finding Niall for good fifteen minutes and almost getting beer and vomit spilled over his shirt five times, which would've still been more pleasant than that one time when one of Harry's friends had literally thrown up right into his lap. Another reason adding up to the 1 billion others as to why he never attended his friend's 'parties'.

"Liaaaam!" If it hadn't been yelled right into his ear, Liam wouldn't have managed to hear it over all these voices, but he did, and unfortunately, he also smelled the alcohol as Niall almost talked right into his face, having shown up out of nowhere.

"Niall, are you…" No, he definitely wasn't okay, there was no need to ask, he had almost thrown himself at Liam actually, or he would've, if the older boy hadn't immediately grabbed a hold of his wrists, slightly worried by Niall's red shot eyes, completely messed up blonde hair and sweaty forehead. Not even the smile he had worn nonstop two weeks ago was still there, he just seemed tired now, and completely off tracks, a look Liam had seen way too often in his friend's faces, maybe that explained why his voice immediately turned softer, he knew how to handle this. "Come on, let's get you outta here, alright?"

"But I… I gotta…" He didn't finish, his eyes could barely focus on Liam, plus now that they were standing, it was pretty obvious that Niall had trouble keeping his balance, so Liam didn't really think about it before letting go of the boy's wrists, wrapping an arm around his waist instead, he was so skinny, it wouldn't have been hard to catch him in case he stumbled. "Liamm…. I feel sick…"

"Yeah, that's no wonder, but please try and keep it in, alright? And tell me if you really can't anymore." It was hard to talk over the noise, not that Niall would've even properly tried to listen anyways, his words came out too slow kinda, and pretty impossible to understand, he was leaning onto Liam with all of his weight, barely complying in lifting his own feet as the older boy tried to find the way back outside.

But they did, under a lot of troubles, the one thing Liam was a bit surprised by though was the fact that Niall didn't seem to know anyone in here, so if he had only gotten here with Louis, why hadn't they left together? Very weird, but the smallest problem right now considering that Niall was about to pass out while clinging to Liam as they stepped outside, he definitely was a cuddly drunk. "Niall, where do you live?"

"Hm… what?" Great, that's what Liam had expected actually, he had no idea where to take the boy now that he had found him, should he just bring him home? At least there he could be sure Niall was alright and didn't kill himself, though he barely ever had people over at his place except for Harry and Zayn, but this was an extraordinary exception.

"Should I take you home? To your dorm?" At least that's where Liam assumed the boy lived at, but he couldn't be sure and Niall suddenly didn't seem so certain about it anymore either, he had both his arms around Liam's waist, fisting his shirt as if though they had known each other for ages. But he was drunk, so it was whatever, and it's not like Liam had issues with touching or anything, he had known what he had gotten himself into the second he had pressed call on is phone before in his apartment.

"No, I… Louis has the keys and he's… not here…" Alright, what was the problem with these two anyways? And where the hell was Louis at?!

"Okay, I just… let's just get you into the car and you can stay at my place for the night, is that okay? You're not gonna freak out, right?" Didn't seem like it, especially now that Niall had his face buried in Liam's shoulder and just gave a groan as the older boy locked up his car, having a hard time to open the door and an even harder one as he tried to unclench the blonde boy's arms from around him under some whiny protest from Niall's side. If he acted like this with strangers, Liam didn't want to know what would happen if he and Niall had actually been friends, like what would he have done, tried to snog him on the spot? "Come on, the sooner you let go of me the sooner we can get away from here. And I bet you're tired, right?"

"Hmm… a bit… " Sounded like a lot more than that actually, Liam was pretty sure already that he would be the one sleeping on the couch tonight, but he couldn't ban Niall into the living room, could he, that would be pretty egoistic seeing as the boy really didn't feel well, which was his own fault probably, but still.

After a bit of trying and pulling, as carefully as possible though, Liam finally did get the boy to sit down in his car and even hold still for long enough to put the seatbelt on for him, throwing the door shut again without accidentally squishing any parts of Niall's body, a real accomplishment considering how touchy feely the blonde was apparently, something Liam couldn't have known before, because as weird as this situation was, he didn't even know this boy he had half forced into his car. If anyone would've watched, Liam wasn't quite sure if he should've been scared of anybody calling the police or not, or if Niall woke up tomorrow morning and wouldn't be able to remember any of this then who knows what was gonna happen, Liam hadn't exactly planned this through and it was too late now to start worrying.

"Niall? Are you listening to me?" Probably not, as soon as Liam had started the car and thrown a look over, the boy's head had already sunk against the window, but his eyes were still open as far as Liam could tell and he would've liked to keep it that way, having to carry Niall would've been even harder than just getting him to walk to the elevator.

"Yeah, I jus'… jus' gotta take a piss really badly…" Biting into his cheek so he wouldn't have to burst out laughing, Liam tried to keep his eyes on the road instead, hoping that the other boy would be able to keep it together, that would be a new thing, someone peeing into his car.

"Well, please try and hold it back then, it's only a ten minute drive. And please try to stay awake too, I'll even let you have my bed once we get to my place, okay?" Not that Niall would've noticed where Liam would put him to sleep, but he'd feel guilty about it again and besides, the couch wasn't that bad of an option to sleep on, he'd survive.

"Thanks, Liam… you're so nice and… I've been thinkin' about you, y'know… and I told Louis about you and… you should meet him sometime…" Liam had changed his mind, the boy should've gone to sleep instead because he already felt the pull deep in his stomach again, even though Niall was just mumbling this, with his eyes half fallen closed, he seemed to mean it and that was even worse, to think about that Liam had just kept on ignoring the boy's text messages, yet Niall had still told his best friend about him, but how could've Liam known that? And even if he had, that wouldn't have changed the situation, he didn't have any time right now to make any friends.

So that and also because his throat felt quite tight led to Liam deciding that he didn't want to comment this, there was no use anyways, it'd just cause him to feel worse about himself. Also, the chance of Niall remembering any of his words was very little anyways. "Try and sleep, okay?" 

To his relief, there wasn't much of an answer, just a sigh, so Liam dared throwing a glance over as he stopped at a red light just to see the other boy asleep, with a hand tugged under his cheek, lips parted slightly, looking younger than he just had minutes ago. 

He wasn't ugly or anything, that was for sure, and as annoyed as Liam had been when they had met, it hadn't exactly been Niall himself who had gone onto his nerves, more the situation that they had met in, under normal circumstances, Liam would've maybe even found it a little bit funny. Though it was true that he got influenced by how he was expected to act like at work and around these people there, he still knew how to be a little bit loose as well, around Harry and Zayn for example, but the problem was, Liam couldn't be a 22 year old who hung out with other uni students and go to lunch with guys he had barely met and he had no clue how to make Niall understand that without having to tell him everything. And really, he would've rather saved both of them from doing that, it's not that he hated Niall or anything, they just lived completely different lives and Liam wasn't sure if them being friends would benefit either of them.

Not that it was the right time to think about that now with a quietly snoring Niall next to him, having to probably wake him up in a bit so that he could go to the bathroom and not ruin Liam's bed, there was still time to worry in the morning right? Maybe after getting a bit of an explanation as well, but judging by what Liam had learned about the other boy, there probably was nothing to that story other than too many pints and a night out.

 

—————

 

His alarm went off at the same time as it usually did, it would've been a lie to say that Liam hadn't already woken up 5 minutes earlier because he was that used to waking up early, even on the weekends, it's just something he probably wouldn't be able to ever do differently.

Other than most days though, Liam didn't get up immediately but rather kept lying on his back for a while after turning his alarm off, a hand covering his eyes as last night's events slowly came creeping back into his mind again after he had been confused for a second as to why he had fallen asleep on the couch.

Right, because Niall was sleeping in his bed, that's why. The boy had caused quite some trouble after they had gotten to Liam's apartment, first of all waking him up had been a challenge itself, then making sure he'd stay awake while they were in the elevator and the worst part, convincing him to go to the toilet. Which, surprisingly, ended without any special surprises, Niall even managed to fully put his clothes back on even if Liam still had to half carry the boy into his bedroom, not being able to tell him that he could borrow some sweatpants before he already heard him snoring slightly. 

So that was probably the position the blonde boy still was in, on his stomach, face smushed into Liam's pillow and hopefully not having kicked the blanket off that the older boy had put over him before leaving the room. Thinking about how easily Niall had just walked and fallen asleep in a stranger's apartment was rather worrying though, just because they had met in a supermarket didn't mean Liam wasn't a psycho, right? But then again, the same theory applied the other way around, yet somehow, Liam couldn't bring himself to even imagine that Niall was anything but a genuine person. Well, genuine and maybe a bit reckless as well.

Still, Liam rolled off of the couch then, rubbing his eyes a bit before getting up, just throwing a quick glance towards the front door to see Niall's shoes still lying around after Liam had almost had to force him to take them off, which meant that the blonde hadn't taken off in shock yet. So instead of checking his phone, Liam walked to the kitchen to get a glass of water, and one of the pills he always gave Harry whenever he was hungover before trying to be quiet on the way to his bedroom, which was pretty unnecessary though considering that he was about to wake Niall up any second anyways.

The door was only half closed, like Liam had left it last night, he also realized quickly that he had forgotten to pull the curtains so the whole room was lit up, which didn't do anything to the deep sleep the boy on the bed seemed to have.

He was lying on his side, blanket only covering his legs now, his head resting on his arm and his other hand so close to his mouth that Liam thought about whether the boy had been biting his nails in his sleep because they did look quite tortured to be honest. Not that he looked so closely, but he still took a minute to take it in before walking over, feeling a bit softer inside because Niall did look kinda beautiful like this, blushed cheeks that seemed even pinker in contrast to his rather pale face, hair messy but still in a way that made it seem like it was supposed to be this way, yeah, he definitely was attractive, which didn't change anything though, it was simply a realization Liam had as he sat on the edge of the mattress, placing the glass and the pill on the bedside table before gently resting his palm on Niall's shoulder, shaking him slightly. "Niall? Time to wake up, come on, you can sleep right on after taking this."

"Nooo… go away, Louis…" To make it even harder, Niall's face crunched up as he curled up more into himself, trying to swat Liam's hand away, almost making him laugh with how whiny he behaved. "Let me sleeeep…"

"Niall, I'm not Louis though and you can sleep, if you just sit up for a second and take that. Unless you want your head to kill you today, but I've been told it doesn't feel nice to be hungover." Moving his hand now, Liam rubbed Niall's shoulder again before letting go of him and just waiting because the younger boy seemed somehow frozen after that, he wasn't moving a muscle for a few seconds, just lying there, as if he had slept in again, but then, out of nowhere, he suddenly sat up with wide eyes and a more than confused face.

"Wait, but…" At least he seemed to be fully awake as he stared around the room, then lastly, right into Liam's face and not only his face got red, even the tip of his ears and his neck did as he quickly looked down again, biting hard into his bottom lip. "Shit, I… I thought it was a dream, I… god, I'm sorry, Liam, I didn't… didn't think when I texted you and… wow, this is so embarrassing, I'm sorry."

Actually, it was more funny than anything else to be honest, Liam felt himself smiling, trying hard not to chuckle as he reached over to grab the glass of water and pill again, he didn't even know what was wrong with him being amused by this rather than unsure about how to handle the situation, maybe it was Niall's reaction, or the fact that he was pretty cute with that groggy voice and sleepy face. "It's okay, don't worry about it. You should really take that though, it'll make you feel better… and something to eat as well probably, I'll make some breakfast in a bit."

Niall took another second or two before he managed to look up again, still a bit blushed, but he seemed confused now as well, cocking his head a bit, his voice sounding a bit scratchy. "Breakfast?"

"Yeah, sure, judging by how much you had to drink last night you should probably get some food into your system as well. Here." At that, the younger boy just nodded slowly, eyes fixed onto Liam for a second, as if he was studying his face before slowly taking the items from him, not doing anything though besides watching the older boy getting up. "The bathroom is just down the hall if you wanna use it, come over when you're ready, okay? Right… and if you want to, you can borrow a shirt or something, that pub… didn't really smell too nice."

Finally, the embarrassed face slowly disappeared and Niall let something escape that sounded a lot like a giggle as he popped the pill into his mouth without a second thought apparently, half shrugging as he took a sip of the water, causing Liam to smile dumbly before leaving the room and questioning his sanity all the way to the kitchen.

The whole situation was fucked up, that was for sure, but somehow Liam didn't find it so worrying anymore, that he had taken a stranger home for the night, that none of this was gonna help to explain to Niall that he would definitely not go out for lunch with him, or hang out with him, or become his friend, this had just been a one time exception and Liam was going to keep telling himself that, in a few hours he'd be studying and all would be good again anyways, he couldn't let himself get distracted because of this. Because of some boy who maybe or maybe not was quite cute.

Picking something for breakfast was rather hard actually once Liam was directly facing the problem, Niall probably wouldn't enjoy any of the healthy stuff Liam usually ate because yeah, he had to indeed watch his figure sometimes because of work, so he hoped that scrambled eggs and toast would do, everyone liked that, right? It's not like Liam had anything else to eat anyways, and going to the store just for Niall would've maybe gone a bit too far, not that he wouldn't have done it, but you know, he had to draw a line at some point.

Niall didn't take long until he came over to the kitchen, he was actually walking so loudly that Liam could hear him all the way through the hallway, so he turned his head in time to see the younger boy appearing in the doorframe, looking a little less as if he had just woken up now, plus he was wearing a plain white shirt, which definitely was Liam's and brought him to another complication that he hadn't considered before when he had offered his closet to the boy. He'd have to tell Niall that he could keep the shirt or otherwise they'd have to see each other again and it's not that Niall was so horrible to be around, but Liam had a tight schedule to keep.

"Hey…" For a moment, Niall seemed unsure of what to do before he released a breath, unclenching his hands that he had had formed into fists as he came over slowly to where Liam was standing at the stove, watching the food for a second as he leaned against the counter. "So… I guess I owe you an explanation."

"Well, it's not very hard to figure it out though, all I was wondering was why you would exactly text me out of everyone you know." Apparently that had been the wrong question, Liam kept watching the younger boy's face though as he turned his head, staring at the wall now, taking a bit of time before breaking the silence again.

"Look, it's just… I get a bit… talkative… when I'm drunk and… what's so funny?" Maybe it was more than inappropriate, but Liam had just mindlessly bursted out laughing at this, still stirring in the pan, not looking at Niall anymore though he felt the boy's eyes on him now.

"Nothing just… you're never NOT talkative, so…" At least if Liam took the supermarket incident into count, which he had to, because well, that was the only time apart from now that he had ever talked to a sober Niall.

"Hey! I just… I'm an open person, alright? I'm not the secretive and mysterious type, I just say what I think, straight and forward, but after a pint… or five, I maybe say a bit too much." He took a second breath now while Liam listened intently, thinking about Niall's words for a second and remembering how weird he had found Niall for providing so much information about his life in such a short time when they had met, he didn't find it so weird and stupid anymore, it was just proof, that Niall really was the genuine person Liam had thought he was. At least he wasn't playing around or anything, maybe Liam should stop judging people before hand only because they made different decisions than him. "So Louis and me went out to unwind a bit last night, 'cos it's been a long week, and I didn't tell him about how we met in the supermarket because I actually forgot to take the picture of you holding the coke. Well anyways, I told him the whole story last night, while we were both wasted, and then… well, he dared me to text you. And I did, because I was wasted and then… then I just kept going because I found it funny somehow because I had another pint… or two. Louis took off, I still don't know where to actually now that I think about it, which is fine though, happens all the time, well anyways, that's why I texted you, I don't know what's… gotten into me, I know you're annoyed by my texts, so yeah… I'm sorry." 

"I'm not annoyed just… I'm really busy all of the time and I… " Liam had planned on saying 'I forgot to answer you' but he held back then because that would've been a lie and it wouldn't have felt right to make stories up here after Niall had been honest.

"It's okay, no need to find excuses, I told you, you just tell me to shut my mouth and I will." Right, but Liam couldn't actually say that, not to Niall, not to anyone, he threw a quick glance over, to see if the younger boy meant it and he was being met by a pretty firm stare so he assumed that he did. 

Looking right at each other for a moment, Liam realized that now would've been the perfect time to just do it, tell Niall that he wanted him to stop texting him and stop asking him to hang out, that he didn't have any time for things like this, but as Liam opened his mouth to speak, he suddenly changed his mind and all he said instead was "I think we can eat this now" before reaching over to hand Niall a plate and simply dropping the topic.

"Thanks for making this… and for letting me stay the night and coming to get me at all, you know, I really appreciate it, I mean… I'm practically a stranger." Niall remarked once they had sat down and Liam was glad to see that he didn't spit the food right back onto the plate, it had been a while since he had made this.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. You're not a complete stranger after all and I … well I can't just leave you somewhere to die, can I." Finding a appropriate answer was harder than expected, though Liam didn't feel like he had to explain himself, he had just been trying to be nice and maybe not feel guilty for the rest of his life, but he couldn't just say that, could he?

"Well, I was just quite drunk, I wouldn't have died, I'm irish, I know how much I can take." It seemed quite proud, so Liam looked up to check and really, Niall was smirking a bit, causing the corners of his mouth to twitch as well, unwillingly, he didn't wanna get so influenced by this boy's mood.

"You wanted to get in your car, Niall, you told me on the phone." Which had been the main reason for Liam to decide that he needed to get Niall, but now that he had mentioned it, he was just being met by a confused stare before the blonde boy showed off the entire content off his mouth by laughing loudly out of nowhere, causing Liam to almost drop his fork in shock. Alright…

"Sorry, but… I don't even have a car, just… maybe I really did drink a little bit too much after all. I couldn't afford a car even if I would start selling my body or something, which, let's face it, would still make me very, very rich though." Still chuckling, maybe also over his own joke now, Niall took a sip of the orange juice Liam had put on the table, now THAT topic was even more uncomfortable than the other one, hopefully Niall couldn't remember the kinda car he had gotten here in. "Anyways, I still appreciate what you've done for me, wouldn't have thought you'd ever do something like this to be honest, when you didn't answer my fourth text I kinda figured that you didn't want anything to do with me."

"Yeah, I… like I said, I'm busy and… " And an asshole even though he was trying not to be, how come Liam felt so awkward now, in his own apartment, that he had to stare at his food while playing with his fork, just anything so he wouldn't have to directly look into Niall's disturbingly blue eyes.

"Right, well, what do you do anyways? For work I mean, you said you're 22, right? But you got this massive apartment and when I took that shirt before… like, I don't wanna sound rude or nosy just… how many suits do you own? And was that _really_ a Burberry jacket?" Yes it was, and Liam's mood was at a low point now, there was nothing he hated to talk about more than anything that involved money, especially in front of some uni student who had just admitted that he was more than just broke.

Defeatedly, Liam leaned back, putting his fork down carefully as he quickly overthought what he was gonna answer now, not the whole story, but he wasn't gonna lie either, it was too late for that. "I work for my dad, he… he owns this um… magazine and yeah."

"Oh, really? That's cool, what magazine?" Of course he was gonna ask that now, but Liam had been prepared, so he just shrugged a little bit, pretending to be busy with filling his glass again, hoping that his nervousness wasn't too obvious, like, he didn't wanna sound like a show off or as if he was bragging, or worse, have Niall remembering that he knew what Liam's dad looked like or something like that, it'd feel quite weird.

"Not sure if you'd know it, it's nothing special anyways." Yeah, that wasn't a lie though, not a complete one at least, Liam cleared his throat a little bit, happy to see that Niall wasn't staring at him any longer as he dared to check quickly.

"Well, seems like it pays the bills though." It didn't come out angry, or with any emotion really, it was just a simple statement and Liam couldn't get mad about because well, it couldn't have been more obvious actually. "So, you're not going to uni then?"

"I take online classes, I'm almost done though." Or something like this, if he kept up the studying now, which he couldn't because he was sitting here instead, having breakfast with a random boy and being the most unproductive he had been in 2 weeks, his father would've probably fired him if he had known about this.

"Too bad, now I can't even invite you to a really bad lunch at uni to make up for this." Niall released a sigh at this that had Liam looking over without planning to, he had sounded seriously gutted about this, as if he had actually planned on doing something like this, maybe Liam should've told him before, when he had had the chance to, that none of this was ever going to happen, but he barely had time to even progress this information before Niall's mouth was open again, a small smile playing around his lips. "We can still go somewhere else though, if you're not so busy anymore, I mean, it's the weekend, are you free tomorrow?"

Shit, shit, shit. Why was he doing this, again?! And why was it even harder now to find an excuse while directly looking into Niall's face, like, it was embarrassing how Liam felt forced to look down just to be able to answer. "I… I gotta study."

"Yeah, me too…" There was a moment of silence after Niall releasing yet another sigh, as if he had just remembered that, as if he actually thought that Liam wasn't just looking for excuses and as if he was about to drop the topic again, but sadly, Liam had been too quick with that assumption. "I got a really good idea."

"Um, what idea?" God, this could mean nothing good, especially since Niall suddenly sat up straighter, his slight smile turning into a grin as Liam looked up again, silently cursing himself for not having found another excuse, something that would take the whole day and that he couldn't possibly cancel. Even though seeing Niall's excited face, that boy would've probably gotten out a calendar to nail Liam down at a certain date and time. 

"I'll get some food and I'll just come over and then we can study together, that's a good idea though right, I can always study better when I got someone to talk to meanwhile, and you seem like you won't get distracted by every little thing like Louis does whenever we study together, because he always convinces me to go watch some videos on the internet in the end and we never even open up our books. Besides, I gotta give you your shirt back as well, right? It'd all work out really well and I don't wanna sit around alone all day tomorrow because Louis has to go home, and anyways, you got a huge apartment all to yourself, we can keep each other company." The only question remaining after Niall had blurted all of this out in under two minutes was, was there any idea _worse_ than this one?

But Liam didn't say that of course, he just kept staring for a bit, considering whether it was worth feeling guilty for making this smile on Niall's face disappear, trying to figure out why he just couldn't bring those words over his lips, why he couldn't simply say 'No', because he really should've, and he wanted to as well, didn't he? He had no time for any of this, he wouldn't get any studying done with Niall talking his ear off but he also had no excuse that wouldn't involve hurting the boy's feelings, so instead, Liam forced himself to smile. "Yeah, sure… we can do that."

"Great! Now tell me what you wanna have to eat, I don't wanna buy anything you don't like…actually, let me write it down, I'm not so good at remembering this stuff." There was his tongue again, poking out between his teeth as he fished his phone with the cracked screen from his pockets while Liam kept studying the boy's face, not even noticing how maybe his smile hadn't been that forced at all since it wasn't hard to keep up either, how somehow it wasn't only guilt for delaying his priorities and not succeeding in finally telling that boy what was really up that Liam felt in the depth of his stomach. Maybe he also felt a bit relieved, for not having to spend his sunday all alone, for breaking the rules that he had made up himself, at least a little tiny bit.

Then again, adding up to that, Liam also felt fear, he wasn't used to getting into situations like this, simply giving in to someone when he always told Harry that he couldn't hang out as well, since years now, yet he hadn't managed to do it with Niall for some reason.

But it was only for one single day, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please feel free to point out any mistakes to me you find i forgot whether i reread this chapter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i now got over 1 million words on ao3 with this chapter wuhu :D

"It's not a date." Of course it wasn't, Liam didn't even know why he had told Harry and Zayn about what he was going to do today and what had happened last night. Maybe it had been because just for once, he had some plans as well that didn't involve work or uni, which was pretty pathetic to think about actually so that's why Liam banned it into the back of his head. It's not that he was excited or anything, he really didn't care that much anymore about whether Niall was gonna come over or not, they'd never see each other again after today anyways.

"I never said it was one, Li, but if you think about it that way, then-"

"I'm not. Look, he just wanted to make up for what I did for him, that's all, right after that I'll tell him that I got no time to hang out with him again." Liam shrugged, slightly worried about how exactly he was gonna do that, he hadn't even managed to tell Niall yesterday, how was he gonna do it today?

"Still can't believe you drove there in the middle of the night to pick up some random, drunk, irish boy…." Zayn mumbled into his coffee, causing Liam to throw a glare at him over the table even though he didn't know why he would even do that, his friend was right anyways and as much as he suddenly felt the urge to, he wasn't gonna defend Niall now.

"But that's just Liam, Z, as _annoying_ and as _distracting_ this Niall is, in the end Liam's gonna give in anyways, he's just pretending that he doesn't enjoy the attention." Harry smirked at this, winking at Liam who just rolled his eyes, none of this was true, and yes, maybe he had found Niall distracting and annoying once, but… he wasn't any worse than his own friends were. "Don't pull such a face, why can't you just admit that you don't mind it, Li? You don't always have to study and do shit for work, you know, nothing's gonna happen if you take a day off."

A lot was going to happen then, but Liam just sighed as he leaned back, looking around the coffee shop they had met up in an hour ago, Liam had tried talking himself out of it, but they hadn't seen each other in quite a long time and besides, the whole sunday was ruined already anyways because Niall would come over in a bit. He had texted Liam before, which had been a bit unexpected, Liam would've thought the boy was someone to just randomly show up at his place whenever he pleased, but apparently, he had been wrong as Niall had asked for a time.

"And besides that, whether you call this a date or not, you must've left some impression on this boy, and vice versa, because the last time you agreed to do something like this was about three months ago and you didn't stop complaining about how much of a waste of time it had been for a whole week." Well, it was easy for Harry and Zayn to say such things and make fun of it because they weren't the ones getting angry calls and getting threatened, which was also why Liam refused to comment this, there was no use, he knew his friends' opinion to all of this, which didn't mean that he agreed though. And Niall had definitely NOT left any impression on him at all.

"Whatever, I should probably leave soon anyways, I still gotta… yeah… are we still up for the gym tomorrow?" A question which immediately caused Zayn to roll his eyes and Harry nod a few times, the stupid smirk still on his face as he watched Liam getting up. Going to the gym wasn't exactly Liam's favorite activity, but since it was kinda part of his work, he somehow managed to pull through it, at least a few times a month.

"Sure. Maybe Niall wants to come as well, you should ask him, it'd be a lot more fun if-"

"Harry, I'm not going to introduce him to you, there's no use, I'm gonna tell him today that it's not a good idea for us to be friends and then we'll never talk about him again." Sounded like a brilliant plan to Liam, though he was very well aware of the look the other two exchanged once he had gotten to his feet, but he chose to simply ignore it as he got his jacket from the back of his seat, not bothering to put it on, he just wanted to leave right now. "See you at work."

"Yeah, bye, Li, have fun today." Another wink, but Liam was halfway out the door already, quickly raising a hand to say bye to Zayn as well because he had no idea when they'd see each other again. The fact that his dad had no idea that they even knew each other was very relieving for Liam, imagine, if he'd have to feel guilty for risking both his own _and_ Harry's _and_ Zayn's job, it was bad enough to worry for two.

His car was only one street away, besides, it wasn't too cold outside, so Liam kept his jacket folded over his arm, trying hard not to think about that he had really just left his friends because he needed to be home in time to let Niall in. 

The boy had stayed for a while yesterday, even once they had finished breakfast, since Liam hadn't wanted to be rude and throw him out, he hadn't said a word and let Niall keep rambling on about whatever it was that he felt like he had to tell Liam. For some reason, Liam hadn't even been that uninterested, he had tried to be, tried to be as annoyed as he had felt in the supermarket queue, but he simply hadn't managed to because yeah… somehow it had been quite nice, the fact that Niall was so open and talkative, it seemed impossible that things could ever get weird when he was around, he just kept an easy conversation going, cracking jokes in between, as if they had breakfast together at Liam's place every single day and not only because he had been drunk as shit the night before.

Anyways, apart from the fact that Liam felt slightly guilty for procrastinating studying, he wasn't too pissed off by having to drive home right now, even though he still hadn't found a solution as to how he should let Niall know to never text him again without having to actually say it, he'd eventually come up with something, right? He had to.

Parking his car, Liam was lost in thoughts as he walked up to his building, deciding not to go and check his mail, he would've rather saved some time before Niall showed up and think about why exactly they had gotten into a situation like this, why he hadn't done enough to prevent it, it was all the boy's fault, because he was so damn persistent and-

"Hey." And also, he was right here.

Liam almost fell over his own feet at being greeted so suddenly as he was headed for the elevator, cheeks heating up immediately, which was more than just embarrassing, things like that almost never happened to him, it was only Niall who had managed to cause his body to react this way for like the fifth time now. "Um, hey."

What the hell was he doing here? Niall had apparently been sat on the lowest step of the staircase before he had jumped up, looking pretty good with his hair styled and that open plaid shirt, his damn dimple distracting Liam yet again from wondering whether he had been late or whether Niall was just a stalker. Probably the latter. "Sorry for being early, but I first of all forgot where your apartment was so I left half an hour too soon just to be sure, and then I forgot which floor you live on so I thought I'd just wait down here and hope for the best. Seems like it was a good decision."

"I-" Before Liam could form a sentence in his head that didn't give away how fucking speechless he was right now, Niall simply made sure to quickly empty Liam's brain by seriously coming even closer, holding a bag in one hand, still smiling as he pulled a more than frozen Liam into a quick side hug with his free arm. Alright, that had been rather unexpected. 

"Anyways, I hope you're hungry. But if you're not then that's okay as well, I'll make sure there are no leftovers." Winking, Niall leaned forward to press the button of the elevator while Liam blinked a few times, clearing his throat, trying to calm down and not freak out about any of this happening right now. But why exactly did Niall have to put on so much cologne that it was still stuck in Liam's nose, not that it was bad or anything, but… well, that was exactly the problem, he didn't want to think about the boy smelling good, he DID, but Liam didn't have to acknowledge it.

"I guess I'm hungry, I, um, haven't eaten today anyways." As soon as Liam got over his shock then all would be well and he'd be able to think clearly again and give smarter answers maybe, he usually managed to do that as well, it was his bloody job.

"What?! But it's already two pm, Liam!" Niall seemed seriously bothered by this thought, he shook his head at the older boy who was silently praying for the elevator to hurry up, refusing to return Niall's stare. "That's not healthy."

"Yeah, I know, but… I was busy." Not really though, and that was the saddest part really, because Liam had gotten nothing done today, nothing at all, that hadn't happened in a while and it made him pretty fidgety to think about, he'd probably have to stay up the whole night now to make up for it.

"You're always busy." Was all Niall said, in a tone that caused Liam to automatically look over just as the elevator doors slid open, only meeting Niall's eyes for less than a second, but the smile had disappeared from his face before he stepped inside, causing Liam's stomach to drop because of that comment. Why exactly was he feeling guilty yet again?

"So… what have you been up to today?" The fact that he asked this was rather embarrassing, it's not that Liam desperately wanted to know, it's just… they'd have to spend a few hours together now, he might as well make the best of it, right? 

To his relief, Niall seemed to be very happy about that question, he watched intently as Liam pressed the button of the sixth floor before his smile came back and he readjusted the strap of his backpack on his shoulder. Damn, had he seriously brought his stuff to study? "Nothing really, I overslept, but Louis came bursting into my room yelling at me because he thought I had borrowed his hoodie again, which I haven't because it's really ugly. Well, then we had some breakfast and he had to leave afterwards because it's his sister's birthday. He's got 5 of them, and a brother, I'm always deaf when I leave their house. Do you have siblings?"

"No, I don't, I… do you?" Funny that Niall asked, Liam had always wanted siblings, but he had the suspicion that his parents hadn't even wanted just one single child so it wasn't very surprising that he had never gotten any.

"Yeah, a brother, but he's a lot older than me, also has a child 'nd stuff, I barely see them." Then Niall suddenly looked away, watching the numbers change whenever they got one floor higher, not sounding too extremely happy anymore. "I barely see my parents either, they live like three hours away now that I'm in uni. But Louis is there so it's fine, I've known him since 5 years already, he's like my brother."

"How old is Louis?" No idea why he asked, maybe because Niall seemed to love talking about his best friend seeing as he mentioned him in every second sentence, Liam understood it suddenly, he seemed to be all Niall had, with his family being so far away, and it was something Liam could relate to at least, he didn't really have anyone else except for Harry and Zayn either, even though his parents only lived a few streets away, it could've as well been another continent.

"21. He started school a year later and failed a class, but not because he's dumb or anything, he just had to skip a lot because he had to help his mum with his sisters when they were younger, you know." Niall had quickly added the last part, as if it was essential for Liam to know that he would never ever talk bad about his friends, not that Liam would've expected him to anyways, as weird as Niall was, he really did come off as an honest person, just like he had told Liam yesterday.

"That's really… nice of him." Why was everyone such a good person and Liam didn't manage to be?

"Yeah, he's really nice in general, and funny, you gotta meet him sometime, okay?" A very bad idea, did he seriously think they were gonna see each other again, shit. "But then again… maybe you shouldn't meet him too soon, he can be a bit too much, and he's quite flirty too and that wouldn't be very fair since you and me have only hung out once, or twice if you count yesterday, and then I'd already lose you to him before we even properly became friends."

"…what exactly do you mean by 'losing' me to him?" What the hell was going on, was THIS Niall's plan, to befriend Liam?! And why was he thinking that Liam was interested in being either Niall's or Louis' friend anyways?

"Well, I told you already, Louis is gay, and he's shameless too, and judging by your looks and all, well… you're quite attractive so… unless you don't have some super hot best friend you could introduce Louis to as a distraction, he'd probably be all over you, but I kinda don't want him to be, you know?" No, Liam didn't KNOW anything, he was speechless to be honest, because all of this just came out of Niall's mouth so easily, he half shrugged, not shy to return Liam's stare, he didn't even blush or anything.

"You… you think I'm super hot?" If the situation hadn't been so awkward Liam would have bursted out laughing, but Niall had sounded so honest, almost as if… no, but why would he do that.

The grin came back at this question, right as the elevator doors slid open again and Niall shrugged a tiny bit, causing Liam's mouth to go dry as he tried his hardest not to be too eager for an answer, he shouldn't even care about any of this, so what if Niall was being flirty, that didn't change anything. "Not exactly my words, but… I never said you weren't, so."

"Uh, thanks… I guess." What was he supposed to say? 'You too'? Definitely not no, Niall was attractive though, but Liam had no idea why exactly it got him so flustered to get complemented by the younger boy, he had fucking had jobs as a model, Liam knew that he couldn't be too ugly yet he had never gotten so deeply embarrassed and speechless by being called things like 'hot'. Damn this blonde boy for being so charming.

"No problem." Then he fucking _winked_ before his face changed a bit, as if he questioned Liam's sanity, which he probably did seeing as they were still in the elevator even though they already were on the right floor since minutes and all Liam had done was stare down at the younger boy, not being able to comprehend what he had just heard. "Um… should we go? I'm pretty hungry, like…"

"Oh. Yeah. Sure, um… let's go, come one." Being very well aware of his awkward behaviour, Liam felt his cheeks heating up yet again as he made sure to walk into the hallway before Niall, already fumbling with his keys so it wouldn't get even more embarrassing if he had to do it right by the door. 

"I'm never gonna get over how fucking cool your apartment is." Seeing as Liam would not give Niall the chance to ever get used to it either, and also because he still felt a bit blushed, he decided to ignore it as he slipped his shoes off after entering, waiting for Niall to do the same after wasting a little bit too much time scanning every centimetre of Liam's living room with sparkling in his eyes. "You're so lucky, mate."

Was he though? "I guess…so, what did you buy to eat?"

"Right!" And just like that, Niall was grinning widely as he walked over to the table, carelessly dropping his backpack on the way before putting the whole bag he had been holding down while Liam was just happy about the change of topic, not even bothered about the fact that Niall made it seem as if this was his home as well. "So, I considered what you told me yesterday and I just wanted to make sure I get something we both like so I went to two places, and I got dessert as well, it's my favorite, you gotta try it if you haven't already."

Shit, why was he so nice, Liam's eyes just got bigger and bigger as he watched Niall piling even more food onto the table, hopefully not expecting Liam to eat all of that, not only wasn't he supposed to, but he also wasn't sure if he'd even be able to without exploding. How could a boy this size stuff so much food into his body? "Hey, thanks, Niall, really, you didn't have to… get so much, you know, tell me how much you paid an I'll-"

"No way, I told you, you're invited, I wanna make up for what you did for me, don't worry about it." Yeah, only now, Liam was _really_ worried about it, he had no idea how to be okay with letting some 19 year old, who had admitted he was broke not too long ago, pay for his food and then eat it on the table he didn't even like because his parents had once bought it for like 10 grands, but he couldn't say that, or use it as an argument, so instead, Liam just gave in, sighing internally as he forced a smile.

"Thanks, Niall…" Moving a bit awkwardly around the table for this being his own place, Liam sat opposite of Niall, deciding that bringing plates and cutlery would be too much, it was all in plastic containers anyways, plus Niall seemed as if he might start drooling any second, he couldn't even look at Liam anymore because he was that focused on the food.

"You're welcome. Damn, and people told me I suck at organizing dates." Did Liam have to get his ears checked tomorrow or…

"Uh, I didn't… think this was supposed to be a da-"

"Oh, no, I just meant that, if it WERE a date, then it'd be pretty great." Niall looked up while explaining, his mouth already half full, sounding as if this was the most obvious thing in the whole world, and how could Liam ever think something as ridiculous as this anyways, he wanted to laugh right now for being so stupid, it's not that he had thought about this being a date or whatever, he had just been confused, period.

"Right." Was all he brought out, his throat feeling pretty tight now as he watched Niall overhearing his answer and instead praising his own taste in food choices, like, it didn't even sound cocky or anything, he just blurted out anything that came to his mind like he usually did and Liam couldn't understand how it could've ever come to this.

 

—————

 

"We should take a break and have some more dessert." After hearing the exact same sentence for the third time, Liam finally did take down his book to look over to the other end of the couch where the blonde boy was sitting, actually lying down, with his head over the armrest, staring at the ceiling while throwing up his phone, making it pretty obvious as to why it had a cracked screen already.

"We've literally been studying for only one hour." And the term 'studying' was to be seen relative here because yeah, after they had finished eating, which had taken longer than Liam had ever thought it possibly could, Niall had seriously agreed to getting his books out and settling on the couch. For five minutes.

After that, he had started talking, about the most random things Liam had ever heard, he hadn't even been bothered by the older boy barely giving any answers and just continuing to try and memorize something, Niall had kept going, his book dropping onto his stomach after a while and he sprawled out on the couch, obviously feeling way too comfortable in here.

"Yeah, I know." Niall groaned, catching his phone last second before it would've hit him right into the mouth, suddenly sitting up with crossed legs to stare at Liam, a serious expression on his face. "That's about 45 minutes longer than I normally study."

And about 5 hours less than Liam normally studied, but he just sighed anyways, he had thought that this could work out if he just ignored Niall's presence, but apparently, it was impossible, and since he couldn't just throw the boy out, he'd have to bear this now. Not that it was so horrible, just… damn, he should've really studied. "But you did graduate from high school, right?"

"Ha, ha, very funny, Liam, yes I did. Not with distinction… actually, far from it, but I did, which is all that matters. I'm just not so good at concentrating on one single thing for such a long time, and I'm ever worse at it when I know that there's a cupcake in that bag over there that's screaming my name." He actually sounded tortured while saying it, throwing a longing look over at the table that had Liam rolling his eyes, but smiling unwillingly at the same time, it shouldn't have been so easy to joke around with that boy.

"You can just go and get it, you know." It's not like Liam had given him any restrictions about what he could and couldn't do in here, but Niall still remained seated, suddenly looking as if he was pouting or something.

"But it's no fun eating while you're studying, if we take a break we should take it together." It was totally normal to have his stomach turning from this and Niall's cheeky grin, right?

"You've been taking a break since 5 minutes after we started though." To be honest, Liam wasn't even sure whether Niall had even been holding his book up the right way now that he thought about it, he probably hadn't expected for them to seriously do work, but then again, he had brought his whole backpack.

"But you haven't, so come on now, we're taking a break and eat dessert." Apparently it was for Niall to just decide that, because he stopped pouting as he got up, simply walking over before taking the book out of Liam's hands, grinning as the older boy opened his mouth to protest, not really knowing what to say though because he couldn't believe that this was happening. "You want chocolate or strawberry?"

"Actually, I'm still pretty full and-"

"Okay, we'll share." How exactly was Liam gonna make Niall understand that he wasn't supposed to eat sweet stuff? Like, it's not that he couldn't, just… what exactly was the use in going to the gym tomorrow if he did something like this, but then again, Niall seemed so damn happy as he walked over to the table and got the box with the cupcakes out, still holding Liam's book under his arm as well, scrunching up the whole page, something that used to make Liam angry, but to be quite honest, he didn't even care anymore right now.

"I really don't wanna feel like having to throw up though." That certainly sounded a lot better than 'I'm kinda on a diet', right? 

"You won't, they're _so_ good, I promise, and I took the bus for half an hour to get them." Great.

Liam's book when flying somewhere on the extra armchair before Niall let himself be dropped in the middle of the couch this time, his eyes sparkling a bit as he half ripped the box open, or at least that's what Liam assumed that he was doing, all he was really looking at was the side of Niall's face, the way he bit into his bottom lip, how focused he seemed to be while doing this, as if unpacking cupcakes was serious business. 

The worst part about all of this wasn't that Niall had literally just told Liam that he wasn't allowed to study any longer or that he was probably gonna force him to eat those cupcakes in a few seconds, or even the fact that they were just hanging around here being the most unproductive Liam had been in a month, no, the worst part was that despite all of this, he still kept staring at Niall the whole time, not being able to look away, feeling his stomach doing a slight flip whenever the boy grinned at him or made him laugh unwillingly with one of his dumb jokes. Liam didn't hate any of this at all, he didn't want to tell Niall that they could never do this again and make him sad, but he really should've, and knowing that every minute passing and them getting along so great for barely knowing each other was making things even worse didn't exactly help Liam on deciding what to do.

"Okay… I would break it into two pieces, but I'd probably smash the whole thing and then it'd look all gross, so…" Considering it for a moment, holding both cupcakes in his hands as if he was weighing them, Niall shrugged all of a sudden before putting one of them on the table in front of him before scooting closer to Liam unexpectedly, causing him to blush terribly as the younger boy looked directly into his eyes, probably having him caught staring now. "Take a bite."

Niall seemed to be pretty set on his idea, he was so close now that their thighs were almost brushing, if he could've, Liam would've moved away, but he couldn't because he was already at the edge of the couch, silently praying that his face wasn't as red as it felt like. "Okay, but … you gotta give it to me then."

"No, just take a bite, come on." Holy shit, could this get anymore awkward, Niall was literally swatting Liam's hand away as he reached out for the cupcake, rather pulling the paper down himself before placing the cupcake almost right in front of Liam's mouth, smirking at him as if it was his plan to embarrass the older boy. 

There was no obvious or even half explained reason for Liam to actually go ahead and do it though, he could've just refused, told Niall that he really did NOT want to eat anything right now. But instead, and god knows why because Liam really didn't, he just took a quick breath before going ahead and taking a bite, half choking on it afterwards as Niall's thigh firmly pressed against his.

"It's really good, right?" Almost having to gag, Liam settled for simply nodding, looking away so he wouldn't cough right into Niall's face in case he had to, not that the cupcake was disgusting or anything just… had he just allowed the younger boy to _feed_ him? "Too bad I only bought two actually, I'll bring more next time."

 _Next time_? This was gonna get even harder than expected, like, they were at a point right now where Liam wasn't even sure anymore whether he could possibly get rid of Niall ever again, the boy seemed pretty pleased with himself now, carelessly taking a bite from the same spot that Liam just had as he leaned back, not touching his thigh to Liam's any longer, but there wasn't more than a two centimetre distance either.

"You know, I was wondering if we could… wait, hold on." Having finally managed to swallow, Liam was kinda glad for whatever was causing the interruption, because the start of this sentence had sounded a lot like more 'great ideas' that Niall had come up with similar to the one that had led to _this_.

Instead of making it even harder for Liam though, Niall took another bite from the cupcake, nearly eating the whole thing in one go as he got his cracked phone out of his pockets with his free hand, staring at the screen for a while with a concentrated face while Liam was just looking at the wall, thinking about why his right body side felt a lot warmer than the left one, was this boy radiating heat or something?

"Hey… when exactly do you want me to leave?" A more than just unexpected question, Liam turned his head, running a hand through his hair as he though about it, a little bit too aware of how close their faces were.

"Um…" Now, that's what he should've said, but he just shrugged instead, the whole day was almost over, what did it matter anyways. "I don't know, I don't really mind actually."

"Okay, because Louis just texted me and he's gonna come back soon, do you mind if I text him your address and he comes to pick me up? Riding the bus alone is pretty boring." The fact that Niall had just randomly decided that he wanted to leave soon from one second to the other didn't get Liam as excited as expected, but he pushed away any kind of emotion that he felt towards that, not even wanting to figure it out to be honest, he would just pretend that it didn't influence him in any way, positively or negatively.

"Sure, no problem." Then, thinking about it for a few more seconds after Niall had flashed him a smile and was already typing, he blurted out with the dumbest thing ever, which maybe would've been appropriate if this had actually been a date. But it wasn't. "I could've also driven you."

"Oh… well, I told Louis already and he'll be there in like 20 minutes, but thanks a lot, Liam, that's really nice." He shouldn't have felt so fucking flattered because of Niall's sweet smile and the fact that he was thanking him yet Liam still did, which he, as soon as he noticed, tried to cover up with a fake cough before quickly jumping to his feet, what the hell was wrong with him?

"You're welcome, um… I'll go and … throw the stuff on the table away, I'll be right back." They hadn't actually cleaned up after eating, something Liam actually hated because he could get very OCD at times, but right now he was pretty glad for the mess still being there for him to get rid of, at least something to do that wouldn't involve him embarrassing himself yet another time in front of Niall, he was actually surprised by now that the younger boy hadn't commented it yet. Probably because he was way too nice.

"I can help you." See?

"No, no, that's fine, it's not much anyways, I got it." Maybe Liam had answered a bit too quick, and too panicked as well, trying to be fast while stuffing all the empty boxes and papers into the bag Niall had brought, one thing was for sure, that boy hadn't lied when he had promised no left overs.

While Liam went to the kitchen to waste a bit more time there before going back, Niall remained half lying on the couch, laughing by himself over something that he was seeing on the cracked screen of his phone, for which Liam was very thankful for, he could really need those few minutes by himself after stuffing the back into the trash.

Holy shit that had just been a few weird hours, like he had to actually lean against the counter a bit, close his eyes and take one or two deep breaths, trying to take it all in.

Not only had his plan gone completely wrong, but he had also managed to get both of them in even deeper, had embarrassed himself to the bones more than only one time, plus he had managed to erase every single negative thought that he had ever had about Niall. Like, that boy was funny, smart, kinda attractive, or a lot, generous, nice, honest, the list could've gone on forever and Liam wanted to smash his head into something for being able to coming up with only one single thing. But no, of course, Niall didn't have any negative sides, maybe that he talked too much, but that was it really, there was nothing to him that could've been a reason for Liam to say, alright, I can't deal with that, we can't be friends. No, he would've _loved_ to be friends with Niall, though admitting it to himself was pretty hard, it was true nevertheless. Shit.

Maybe it was so hard to believe that this was happening because it had been too long that Liam had actually spent time on getting to know someone, hanging out with them and seeing what they were like, or maybe it was because Niall was pretty damn near to being perfect and Liam couldn't handle the thought of going out there and making him sad. What would he even say anyway other than 'I'm busy' once again? He couldn't even say 'I don't like you' because that would've been one of the biggest lies he could have come up with.

So while Liam wasted time worrying in the kitchen while the silence got interrupted by Niall's giggle occasionally, there was suddenly some other sound causing him to flinch that he couldn't quite identify at first until he heard Niall getting up way too loudly before yelling something at him from the living room. "I'll go lock up, okay?"

Wait… if that had been the doorbell, then how the fuck had Louis gotten up here, how had he even gotten into the damn building? He couldn't have, and now that Liam thought about it, only ten minutes had passed by since Niall had texted his best friend, that wasn't Louis at the door, it was someone who had a key, which limited the choice down to two people. Harry and his dad.

Pretty sure that Liam had never managed to go so quickly from the kitchen to the front door, his heart bumping way too fast at the thought of his dad randomly showing up here, and then even worse, Niall being the one to lock him up, maybe cracking some weird joke and getting Liam's ass into more trouble than he had ever been in.

But then he heard it, almost stumbling over his own feet, feeling the pressure falling off of him within half a second, though the situation was still pretty weird, Liam could have laughed from relief. "… must be Niall, hi, I'm Harry Styles, Liam's best friend."

"Yeah, Niall Horan, hey." Niall chirped, it was actually funny to think that this was the first time ever that Liam had heard the boy's last name, but he barely spent a thought on it, walking around the corner just in time to see the two others shaking hands in the doorframe, both of them smiling, though Harry's smile was a little bit creepier, especially as his eyes landed on Liam.

"You didn't mention that he's so small, Liam." Then he laughed loudly as Niall pretended to pout while Liam just sighed, leaning against the wall with crossed arms, it couldn't have been more obvious what Harry's plan had been. "I'm just joking, don't mind me, Niall, I heard you're irish and you quite sound like it too, we should go for a pint sometime."

Immediately, Niall's face lit up like the sun, no idea why, but Liam suddenly felt the urge to step in before they would both get their phones out to check for a day that would work for the both of them. If Harry now decided that he wanted to take Liam's offer from over weeks ago he could go fuck himself. "What're you doing here, Haz? Thought you and Zayn were gonna hang out."

"Nope, change of plan, he has a project to finish and I thought well, I haven't been to your place in a while, I could just stop by and say hi." He winked at Liam then who just rolled his eyes which Niall hopefully hadn't seen, of course Harry had shown up because it had been his plan to meet Niall and then tease Liam until the end of time, of course.

"Of course, not like we see each other every day, right?" Well aware of Niall's stare now, Liam tried to not have a too annoyed expression on his face, like he didn't even know why he cared so much all of a sudden, all he knew was that Harry was gonna comment on it later once they were alone, he was still smirking in that annoying way, still in the doorframe though.

"Well, maybe I wanted to meet Niall, since you talked so much about him." Great, just great, really.

"You did?" Niall jumped in immediately, not sounding mad or anything, actually, he sounded quite excited about the thought and Liam had no idea why that would be.

"I just-"

"He did, more than once, and he even left early today just so he could be on time for when you come over." Could Harry possibly shut his mouth before Liam would smash his fist into it?

"Well, it would've been pretty rude of me to come late." Liam tried to defend himself, very poorly though, he felt blush creeping into his cheeks once again as he was very well aware of Niall's stare and the fact that the boy had started smiling again, not that he dared to check, he was half glaring at his best friend instead.

"You didn't think so two weeks ago at our photosh-"

"Yeah, whatever." Did he REALLY have to start with this now?! God, Niall couldn't know about any of this, it would've been way too embarrassing, and besides that, Liam also didn't want the younger boy to get crazy ideas and maybe google him or anything, no idea if anything would show up, pictures of his dad maybe, Liam never intended to find out though.

Turned out that just for once, Niall had the best timing ever as he made a surprised face before suddenly getting his phone out of his pockets to check the screen, apparently not at all confused about what the other two had just talked about. Good. "Oh, Louis is already here, he's waiting downstairs."

"Who's Louis?" Harry asked immediately while Liam's stomach kinda cramped up as he allowed himself to look at Niall again, he kinda would've preferred to having the blonde boy stay for a few more hours instead of being alone with Harry right now.

"My best friend, he came to pick me up and he's not very patient, I should probably get my stuff and-"

"Tell him to come upstairs then, since we're all here already, we should all properly meet I think. Liam, press the button behind you and lock up." Not only Liam made a very unsure face at this, Niall did as well, which maybe was a bit more worrying since he knew what to expect probably, but he just bit his bottom lip then, throwing a look from Harry to Liam and then back again before nodding slowly, looking at his phone. Why exactly did that remind Liam of the conversation they had had before? About how Niall had suddenly taken his 'you should meet Louis' back just a second later? Though Liam still had no idea what Niall had actually meant by any of this, especially the part about him not wanting Liam and Louis to immediately become friends or whatever, he was still very concerned about it now.

Still, he did as Harry had told him, not failing to throw a death glare at his friend, who didn't seem to be bothered at all, just comfortably leaning in the doorframe now while throwing an amused look at Niall and then at Liam, as if he was trying to tell him something with that, he probably did, but Liam wasn't gonna acknowledge it in any way, it would've just encouraged him.

There were a few moments of awkward smalltalk between Harry and Niall while Liam just watched them, more the blonde boy than his best friend though, because he had gotten a little paler now, not so smiley anymore, which wasn't very calming to watch, he was literally the most excited and happiest person Liam had ever met, but he was all fidgety now, biting his thumbnail, pinching his arm, as if his best friend coming up here to meet them was the worst thing that could've ever happened. Was he so worried that they wouldn't get along? … or get along TOO well? Liam would've preferred the second option, because one thing was for sure, he had trouble admitting to himself that he liked Niall, he wouldn't manage to do the same with Louis as well, and besides that, the thought of Niall seriously being worried about Liam liking his best friend better than him was kinda making him feel a little giddy, for no reason though, that didn't meant anything at all.

"That elevator takes fucking forever." Were the first words that Liam ever heard Louis speak, though Niall's face lit up immediately at the sound of them and he laughed a bit despite his mood being a bit down, it was still Harry who saw Louis the first since he only had to turn his head as he was halfway standing outside the apartment. And he never turned it back either for some reason.

"Lou, hey!" It was kinda cute, Liam had to admit that, the way Niall popped his head out of the door to wave and then get pulled into a hug a few seconds later as Louis came into frame, looking a bit different than Liam would've imagined him, he had a few tattoos covering his arms like Harry, not that much taller than Niall though, plus he also seemed to constantly be wearing this smirk on his lips. "Okay, so, that's Liam, and that's Harry, he just came over too." 

"Hi." Just because Niall seemed to be beaming now even if he still seemed a bit nervous as well, Liam tried to smile as he reached out to shake Louis' hand shortly, at least that was something he knew how to do, meet new people.

"So you're the guy who's always busy?" Immediately, Niall blushed deeply, throwing an apologetic glance at Liam which he ignored because Louis hadn't even sounded angry or anything, plus the fact alone that Niall must've talked so much about Liam was a bit distracting as well.

"And you're the one who left his drunk friend alone in a pub?" Other than expected, Louis' face immediately got softer as he laughed, ruffling Niall's hair a bit, who complained quietly before slipping back into Liam's apartment, leaving Harry, who obviously had found a new hobby in shamelessly staring, and Louis outside.

"I guess so, yeah, He's done it a lot of times the other way around as well though, so there's that." Then, while Liam thought about something to say, Louis suddenly turned around, probably feeling uncomfortable under Harry's stare, stretching his hand out a second time. "And you're Harry?"

"Yeah, I'm Liam's friend, nice to meet you. _Very_ nice actually." God, Liam was gonna have to slap Harry later, as if that stupid cheeky grin and shameless stare hadn't been enough already, plus they were shaking hands for way too long as well, in fact, both Niall and Liam started feeling uncomfortable which became very clear as the younger boy suddenly interrupted the silence and the other two's creepy looks at each other by clearing his throat.

"I… I'll go and get my stuff, I'll be right back." Then he threw another look at his best friend and Harry, a grin suddenly flashing across his face if Liam wasn't being mistaken.

"Should I come?" Yeah, Liam was a bit desperate to get away from the obvious tension the other two seemed to have, so he spoke without thinking, a bit disappointed as Niall gave him a sign over his shoulder to tell him to stay there as he disappeared into Liam's apartment. Great.

"Liam?" Unwillingly, Liam drew his eyes away from the blonde boy's back, looking back at Louis, who was definitely standing closer next to Harry now than he had five seconds before. What was up with them, sure, Niall had mentioned that Louis was kinda flirty, and yeah, Harry was too but they hadn't even spoken more than two words for god's sake!

"Yes?" A bit caught up in thoughts, Liam had to blink a few times to get his disturbing images of the two guys in front of him out of his head, if Harry dared to do this then he was a dead man.

Luckily, or maybe not, Louis made quick process with replacing Liam's worries. "If you hurt him, then I'm gonna kill you, just so we're clear."

"I wasn't planning on-"

"Yeah, you should totally do that, I fully support you." Harry jumped in, basically stabbing a knife into Liam's back, but he didn't even notice the other's glare, he was busy looking at Louis instead, still smiling like a dumb idiot. "You know, Liam can be quite an idiot sometimes, but I'll kick his ass if he misbehaves, no worries."

"Thanks." Returning Harry's smile overly motivated, Louis seemed to be just as captivated by Harry as the other way around and Liam felt like he wanted to empty the contents of his stomach right to their feet, this had been the shittiest idea ever, it was official, introducing those two had been the biggest mistake in the history of humanity.

Before Liam could through something else in though, for example that Louis should stop behaving as if him and Niall were dating or as if Liam was gonna break up with him or something, the blonde boy came back from the living room, with his backpack this time and a still happy expression on his face, apparently Liam was the only one concerned by these recent developments. "Okay, I'm ready. I left you the second cupcake in the living room, Liam, next time I'll buy more, we need to definitely hang out again soon, it was fun."

See, the problem was, as angry as Liam was at Harry, as weird as the whole situation was right now, the second Niall looked at him with his blue eyes and bright smile, all of that seemed pretty irrelevant suddenly. "Yeah, um, sure…and thanks again, for paying and stuff, you know."

"You're welcome, what you did for me was a much bigger deal anyways." So basically what he was saying was that Liam had brought all of this upon himself, but he couldn't bring himself to care right now, hell, he knew that Harry and Louis were staring straight at them yet he still smiled automatically, a little taken aback as Niall simply pulled him into a hug, tighter than the one a few hours earlier, this time he squeezed the older boy, causing him to freeze up for a second before lightly wrapping his arms around Niall in return, trying not to inhale too obviously. But damn, he really did smell good. 

"That's really heartwarming and all, but our bus will leave in ten minutes, Nialler, come on." Hearing the nickname, Liam decided that it fitted really well to the younger boy, he let his arms sink first, more than just embarrassed now, but even more as he stared down into Niall's face as they pulled apart, and then, without a warning or anything, Niall got onto his tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to Liam's cheek, as if it was the most normal thing to do ever. Liam was so fucked.

"I'm already done, calm down, Lou." The thing was, Niall pretended that nothing had even happened while Liam's face was for sure glowing like crazy now, he was biting his bottom lip, almost drawing blood with how hard he chewed on it, trying his hardest to not meet anyone's eyes right now, not even Niall's. What exactly had happened with his master plan? The one where he was gonna tell Niall that they were never gonna see each other again because he was too busy? Yeah, didn't seem like any of that was gonna happen.

"Bye guys, pretty sure we'll see each other again." That was Harry's voice obviously, though Liam barely dared to look up now, he had never felt so humiliated in his whole entire life, what the hell was wrong with him, Liam wasn't even being himself anymore, he was just a blushed mess with a tingling cheek, not the guy who wore suits and spoke about political events with his dad even though he didn't have the slightest clue about any of them.

"Yeah, bye…" Liam mumbled, barely catching Niall waving at him, still smiling of course, all of them were actually, except for Liam, which was pretty inconvenient because it drew even more attention on him.

To make things even worse, right before Niall and Louis disappeared around the corner, the younger boy turned around again, as if he had suddenly remembered that kissing Liam on the cheek hadn't thrown him off track enough already. "Right, I'll give you your shirt back next time, okay? I forgot to wash it."

"It's fine…" It wasn't, because now everyone else had heard it as well and Liam wasn't ever gonna get Harry to leave his apartment ever again.

As soon as his best friend had stepped inside and thrown the door shut once the other two were walking down the hallways, joking loudly because they could still almost hear them, Liam didn't waste any time turning on his heels and walking away, not that he'd come very far, Harry was literally right there behind him.

"Holy shit…" Was all that left his mouth though and Liam couldn't have agreed any more, though Harry probably meant this in a completely different way. "Mate, you're so gone for this boy and you don't even notice."

"Shut up, Haz, I'm not the one making heart eyes at some random guy I've known for fifty seconds." Besides that, Liam wasn't even gone for Niall at all, he angrily snatched the remaining cupcake from the coffee table, wanting to crush it in his hands because of how mad he was at himself, but instead, he thought about it for a second before sighing internally, deciding to put it into the fridge instead. 

"I wasn't expecting Niall to have such good looking friends, alright? 'sides, it wasn't only coming from me, did you see how he looked at me?" Very hard to ignore.

"Because you creepily stared at him for fifteen minutes straight, he was probably freaked out." Sad thing was though, Liam knew that Harry was right, Louis HAD been looking at him, with a stupid smile that had looked like it must've hurt to keep up for such a long time. 

"Sure, Liam, and you're all blushed and embarrassed because you hate Niall so much, right? Because he's such a distraction and today was such a horrible day, wasn't it?" Trying not to throw the fridge shut too aggressively, Liam turned around to finally face Harry who had followed him into the kitchen, half a smile on his lips as he was slowly shaking his head while studying Liam's face.

"Look, I don't care what you think, okay? Fact is that I don't have any time for this, and whether I like Niall or not-""

"So you admit that you-"

"No, I'm not admitting anything, alright? This is never gonna happen again, I gotta study for uni and I got work to do and I advice you to do the same." Yeah, it was easy to say it now that Niall was gone, but it still made Harry sigh deeply as he moved a bit so Liam could go past him, not exactly knowing what he was about to do anyways, he was just so worked up and having to constantly keep himself from rubbing his cheek because it still felt all warm.

"Why can't you let loose for a bit, Li? You obviously like each other and it wouldn't distract you from anything at all, in fact, I think it'd motivate you to work harder because you could sometimes take a break in between, I've been meaning to tell you this since a few months now but you never listen to me. You really gotta cut back a bit, Liam, and do something else besides focusing on work and uni, it's not good for you and I'm pretty sure that no matter how often you keep telling me that you will tell Niall to leave you alone, you're never actually gonna manage to do it. And it's okay, you know, it's okay if you like him." That speech had gotten a bit deeper than expected, Harry's voice had gotten a bit softer as well, not the usual mocking tone he sometimes had when speaking to Liam about these things, and yeah, maybe he was right, but it wasn't as easy as it sounded like, Liam had responsibilities, he couldn't just go and have fun and let go, it just wasn't something he was used to and he also didn't think that he'd be able to do it without being eaten alive by guilt. Also, it wasn't exactly fair to Niall.

"Let's just drop it, okay? I know what I'm doing." Letting himself fall onto the couch, Liam started doubting his own statement, but he didn't wanna go any further into this than necessary and it just caused Harry to sigh again before he came over, sitting down on the exact same place that Niall had sat a few minutes earlier.

"If you say so, I hope it's true." Then they fell into silence for a few minutes, Liam playing with the hem of his shirt, trying his hardest not to start overthinking now like he usually did while Harry was doing whatever, maybe playing on his phone or whatever, fact was that when he spoke up again, the whole mood seemed to have shifted, from serious to kinda playful again and Liam wasn't even sure how to take that question, as if Harry hadn't even listened to any of his words. "So, what exactly do you think about double dates?"

Absolutely nothing.

Without bothering to answer, Liam just got up again, walking over to his bedroom this time, not even caring about he fact that he should've started studying right now if he wanted to make up for today's lost time, he needed to clear his head first, make a few decisions about what he was gonna do now. There were 4 things that he was pretty certain about, and one was worse than the next one seemed to be.

First of all, Harry was right, Liam would never be able to tell Niall to leave him alone, no matter how long he planned it, or whether it was the right thing to do, these words would never leave his lips. And since Harry and Louis obviously had had eye sex for fifteen minutes straight in the doorframe, there was no chance anymore that Liam could just completely break off any contact with Niall that he had had.

Secondly, in case he ever would, under whatever circumstances, Louis would come and rip his head off like he had promised him so nicely a few moments ago.

Thirdly, Liam didn't even feel like he wanted to say anything to Niall that could ever make him sad actually, he couldn't, he wasn't an asshole after all, and none of this had ever been personally.

And finally, he wasn't exactly sure why, but Niall's lips had obviously burned a hole into his skin because his cheek still felt more than just hot even as he rubbed it rather aggressively, not wanting anymore evidence on how much control Niall seemed to have over his body's reactions. His whole life by now, and he only knew that boy since two weeks, this couldn't be normal, could it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do you write the days of the week with a capital letter? because i don't know haha


	4. Chapter 4

Despite his plan to forcing everything to going back to normal and forgetting about what had happened, it was probably the worst morning Liam had ever had the next day, like seriously, he had literally only slept for like two hours, something he wasn't used to in any way. Adding up to that, and even though he had been alone the whole night after Harry had finally left with a few more attempts to try and convince Liam, he hated himself even more because even though he had been desperately trying to forget, he had been lying awake the whole night worrying, not being able to turn his brain off or stop thinking about Niall. It weren't even bad thoughts, because Liam would've preferred those to be quite honest, it were just random thoughts about the blonde boy, something that had never happened to Liam before, like not being able to stop thinking about somebody, it was quite scary to be honest.

So all of that plus the fact that he almost came late as well led to the fact that Liam almost fell asleep fifty times once he got to work, which was pretty inconvenient right now actually, it wasn't so much the problem that anyone could've seen because his office was closed off anyways, but his dad had once again sent him a whole bunch of things to go through over the weekend, which he could've had already worked on on saturday and sunday but of course hadn't done because of all the things that had happened. And NO, Liam was not gonna think the boy's name again, he was gonna ban it into the back of his mind together with the memory of Niall's stupid, charming smile and especially also the way his lips had felt against Liam's skin. It had literally been less than a peck, he didn't need to shit himself over it.

Harry that lucky bastard had gotten the day off last minute because of some idiot messing up something or whatever, Liam should've probably known about it, but he hadn't really read through Harry's text message after waking up, one, he had barely been able to keep his eyes open and two, the only information he had needed had been that Harry wasn't gonna come to the gym today because he wouldn't 'get dressed for this, sorry Li'. Great.

If that stupid cupcake hadn't been, or the fact that Liam had literally been lacking in every aspect of his life and had ignored all of his responsibilities the whole weekend then he would've maybe skipped gym as well, but he already felt like a failure, he should probably go to the gym and be productive instead of going home and wanting to die, he could still do that tonight.

There was a sharp knock on the door that had Liam jerking up in his seat, rubbing his eyes a bit in an attempt to maybe look a little bit awake, he couldn't believe that he had almost fallen asleep yet again, over his keyboard, how was he ever gonna get his life on track again?

"Yes?" At least his voice still sounded rather firm if he forced it to be this way, and he had to, because it would've been rather embarrassing if anyone would've noticed that something was up with him, would've just given them even more things to talk about behind his back.

The door opened and Liam's assistant barely popped her head inside, he knew that she disliked him ever since he had told her that he was never gonna be interested in her even if she was going to leave a hundred notes more on his desk, he hadn't been trying to be cocky either, but one, his dad would've thrown both of them out and two, Liam just wasn't into her and he hadn't been wanting to be unfair. "Mr. Payne, there's someone downstairs for you."

"Downstairs?" That was rather rare, but it happened occasionally, hopefully it wasn't some guy again beginning Liam for a job, it wasn't his decision to hire anybody, maybe because his dad knew that he would feel guilty and just give anybody a job that asked, which was also why he wasn't too excited by this right now. 

"Yeah, some guy, said it wasn't too urgent if you had work to do though." She sounded as if she wanted to leave, so Liam just nodded and thanked her, not very keen on having any company either, which would've still been better than going downstairs though.

Since Liam obviously wasn't in any hurry, he didn't leave immediately but rather tried to prepare himself a little bit, which was hard seeing as he didn't even know what this was about, he just hoped it'd be over soon because he still had a shit ton of work to do.

One thing that Liam hated the very most was leaving his office and going to the elevators, because they were at the far other end and he had to walk past literally everyone, all people who worked for him, or his dad actually, but he was still the head of the department, which didn't mean that Liam was as confident about it as he pretended to be outwardly.

So even though he felt pretty awkward about it, he still knew that his face didn't give him away, which was kinda an accomplishment as well, at least something he was still able to do, hide his every emotion, he had had way too much training with that and the only person who managed to cause him trouble with that was a certain blonde boy whose fault it was that Liam hadn't checked his phone anymore after texting Harry back this morning.

It was only one floor down to the main entrance and the area where they usually sent people to wait in, to be quite honest, Liam was still a little nervous to actually go there, like, this wasn't something that happened every day after all, and what did some random guy want from him anyways? Maybe Liam didn't even want to find out.

Still, he didn't stop and waste time like he wanted to, greeting some receptionist, who apparently didn't hate his guts like so many others, before opening the glass door, confusion spreading inside of him as he didn't even see anyone waiting for him at first, all the chairs were empty and it actually got Liam to sigh out loud to think about that someone had just been making a joke.

But then suddenly, there was some sound coming from the restroom which he remembered was right there, and as the door opened all of a sudden, Liam immediately froze on the spot, his brain literally emptying from one second to the other. "Damn, you look really good in a suit."

"Niall?!" Literally, this had been the last thing Liam would've expected, why, or better HOW, had Niall gotten here?! And had even ASKED for Liam?! Was he insane, and who had told him, how had he even found out that he worked here and… holy shit, had he just really said that? Liam was gonna go mad, was this a hallucination? "How the hell did you get here?"

"Googled your full name after seeing your last name on the tag next to your door, wasn't really hard from there on, sorry if that's creeping you out, I was just really curious, you didn't tell me that your dad owns such a big magazine." Yeah, and there had been a very good reason for Liam to stay quiet about it, shit, did that mean Niall also knew about the, um, modelling? Liam wasn't gonna make a mistake now and ask about it, he felt all the color draining from his face, like, after all that had happened during the weekend he should've deserved some time for himself, but no, here Niall was again, looking as good as always, dimple showing as he smiled, not shy to come over and pull Liam into a half hug once again. He wasn't gonna survive, he would get fired and kicked out of uni. "Liam? You're not mad at me, are you? I don't wanna come off as a stalker, I just thought because you said you're really busy and stuff, and well, I brought you something to eat because you probably haven't eaten already anyways and I promise I won't be annoying, just, my lecture was cancelled and I texted you but you didn't answer and I just-"

"Niall, you… you really shouldn't be here." Sighing now that Niall had said all of this, still standing a little bit too close, Liam couldn't be angry with him, it still made him feel pretty uncomfortable, to know that Niall knew now, maybe not the modelling part but everything else, it would've caused Liam to blush if he hadn't already been busy trying to figure out what in god's name he should do now, Niall had brought him bloody food, probably because of yesterday when he had almost scolded Liam for not having eaten anything until 2 pm, he was so damn nice, shit. 

"Should I leave? I can go, I don't want to cause any trouble, promised, you seem to have pretty serious work to do, being dressed up and all." He smiled a little bit, which made it very hard for Liam to keep looking at him, he already felt as if he had to blush again, plus in contrast to his cheek burning last night, it was now his hips feeling weird after having Niall's arms wrapped around them. "Just tell me, it's okay."

Easier said than done. Did Liam want him to leave? No, not really, though it was still hard to admit kinda and even though he knew he shouldn't, he was kinda enjoying the boy's presence. Another question was though, should he have told Niall to leave, which Liam didn't really want to think about because he knew the answer too well, knew that this was risky as fuck and pretty much the stupidest thing to do, it's just, he was looking into Niall's soft face, watching the way he readjusted the strap of his backpack again, patiently waiting for an answer and causing Liam to buckle in the second he blinked up at him. "No, just… I mean, it's not like I got anyone telling me what I can or can't do, but um… we might have to… pretend that we don't know each other, at least until we're in my office. And I got work to do, a lot actually."

"I'm not gonna bother you, promised, I got stuff to do as well, we can keep each other company, like, silently." Niall happily announced, not exactly making things any easier for Liam, like, how could someone be this excited about sitting in his office and doing exactly nothing? On the other hand though, it caused his tummy to flutter slightly which he simply ignored, not wanting to feel this weird warmth spreading inside of him, this wasn't good, Niall shouldn't have been here, shouldn't have ever found out where Liam worked, but he was here now and seeing that happy face, Liam wasn't gonna survive sending him away.

"Alright, just… let's just pretend I'm letting you do a job interview or something." This was gonna be a complete disaster, the fact alone that Niall was already holding his laughter back very obviously was enough, maybe Liam found it a little bit funny, but more than that, he found it quite worrying.

"I like that, it's like we're doing some secret mission thing, and it feels like it too, 'cos you're wearing a suit and all, everything in here looks so professional, it's really cool."A tiny smile was all Liam let himself escape before he took a tiny breath, motioning for Niall to follow him, very well aware of the fact that no one would ever believe that Liam was doing job interviews with a 19 year old hyperactive boy with ripped jeans and a pretty dirty backpack. "Do you really do job interviews though?"

"Um, not very often, and it's not for me to decide anyways." Because his dad didn't trust him with THAT important stuff, which wasn't exactly what Liam felt like saying though, not that Niall payed a lot attention, he was busy scanning every centimetre they were walking past with big eyes, having to fasten up every few steps because he was falling behind. "Niall?"

"Huh?" The younger boy almost stumbled into Liam because he had apparently forgotten to watch where his feet had been going, it was kinda cute, a thought which Liam banned 5 seconds after it had occurred. 

"Once we get out of the elevator, just… just follow me and try to, like, to not look as happy as you usually do, okay?" Because that wouldn't have fit the situation, even less than it already would anyways, actually, there was no point in trying to hide the fact that he was bringing… friends into his office, but since this was the first time ever, maybe no one would say anything.

"Okay, I can do that, I'm just gonna pretend that all the food I stuffed into my backpack actually spilled out of the container, that should work, it's actually making me pretty nervous to think about that that might have happened for real." Maybe to underline his acting skills, Niall really did throw a very concerned look back over his shoulder now to check his backpack while Liam impatiently tapped his fingers against his upper thigh as they waited for the elevator.

"You know, you didn't have to buy food again, let me pay for it this time at least." Because he couldn't just keep letting Niall invite him, especially not since obviously Liam was very well able to pay for himself, but kinda like expected, Niall was already shaking his head halfway through.

"Nope, I wanted to do it after all, make sure you get something to eat." Then he shrugged, running his fingers through his blonde hair, quickly causing Liam to look away, feeling a little weird by that movement, like, he kinda felt the urge to touch the boy's hair as well, just to see if it really was as soft as it looked like, something he'd never allow himself to go and find out.

"I would've gotten myself something to eat, it's not like that." Though he had skipped breakfast as well, but that had been because he had been running out of time, which Niall couldn't know about though because he had been the actual reason for Liam's short night.

"Yeah, but when? You know, I might not eat a lot of healthy stuff, but I do know that not eating is a lot worse for you, especially if you gotta work as much as you do, and I thought about that before when I was at uni and then I, you know, I really felt like I should come and bring you some lunch." And also a heart attack apparently, had Niall been seriously worried about Liam's health?

"Why?" Just to ask, because he couldn't actually believe that that had been the reason for Niall to just randomly showing up here, plus the elevator was taking forever as well, but there was no one else around so Liam didn't feel too nervous about them having a normal conversation.

"Because we're friends and I care about you." There it was, the final stab into Liam's heart, Niall just said it like that, without hesitating, without even looking at Liam or anything, as if it was a simple statement, nothing special or anything. But it was to Liam, actually, he thought he might choke from how tight his throat had gotten from this, he hadn't even been that nice to Niall and yet the younger boy said something like this after they still barely knew each other, he had still sounded so honest that there was no way Liam could've ever thought of something appropriate to answer.

So he just didn't, as rude and mean as it was, but he couldn't have, and luckily the elevator was there a few seconds later and Niall's mind was again captivated by the fact that it was so big, just this time, Liam spared himself getting embarrassed by almost choking on his answers, he just let the younger boy talk, watching him though while trying not to be too obvious, but Niall didn't seem to really care anyways, he was all happy and excited about this, if it was the highlight of his day or something.

And apparently it was, in fact, he was so happy that Liam quickly reached out to hold the boy's elbow without thinking, keeping him from going around the corner once the doors opened again. "Remember, you're absolutely terrified and I yelled at you downstairs for … for whatever reason you can come up with."

"Okay, got it." Niall gave a short nod and a grin, he found this way too funny, but for as long as he at least tried not to jump around and chat up random people working here they should be fine. "Do you yell at a lot of people?"

"Not… really." Only if there was no other way, but Liam had barely used his position against anybody actually, he also didn't really plan on doing it to be honest. "Come on, my office is across the room, just stay close to me."

Not as if Niall was scared or anything, Liam added the last part purely because he felt like the younger boy would get lost staring at something or whatever, but he nodded, smirking again before very obviously forcing his face to go a little bit more serious, readjusting his backpack again, probably once again thinking about how is food had spilled over.

It went better than Liam could've hoped for, he was aware that a few people looked up, maybe in confusion or because they were just walking past, but no one said anything, or dared to, so hopefully his dad would never get to hear about this either because he would be raging, no question.

"That's _your_ office?!" Was the first thing Niall bursted out with as soon as the door was closed behind them, his mouth had popped open as he stared at Liam, who gave half a shrug and a nod, it wasn't that cool, was it? Apparently, Niall begged to differ. "Sick, man."

Well, it was big, and not uncomfortable either, though Liam wouldn't exactly call it 'sick', he just went with it anyways, slowly making his way back to his chair behind the desk, leaving Niall to keep on staring for as much as he wanted to, there wasn't anything he couldn't see in here after all, besides… it was really cute how easily impressed he was with something Liam saw every single day. "You can take the other chair, if you want."

"Thanks." Originally, Liam had thought that Niall would sit down on the opposite of the table, because that's where the chair was, but no, he actually went to move it, and as Liam realized that he wanted to sit next to him, he couldn't help but blush yet again, quickly pretending to be staring at the screen of his computer. "Do you mind if I sit here? I'm not gonna look at what you're doing, no worries, I probably wouldn't understand it anyways."

"It's okay, Niall…" Probably not, but Liam wasn't aware of any rules regarding this topic because of course, a situation like this should've been avoided to begin with. But now that Niall was here and starting to unpack his things, it was too late for Liam to get angry at himself about it, silently watching the blonde boy, a little impressed by how much he had fit into that backpack.

"I didn't bring any cupcakes because I had no time, sorry." He really did sound sorry about it, though Liam actually felt a bit relieved, he immediately shrugged it off, not very keen on having to eat sweet stuff again just to make the younger boy happy.

"It's okay, I gotta go to the gym later anyways, I shouldn't have eaten any anyways." Or actually never, but yeah, Liam just spoke without thinking, not really expecting an answer from Niall regarding this, he seemed like the kinda guy who hated working out, not that he looked like it, but the nachos and salsa and cupcakes, Liam had kinda figured, so that's why he was really surprised by the younger boy's reaction. 

"Oh, the gym? Can I come?" His first impulse told him to say no, because well, Harry had cancelled as well, so it would just be Niall and Liam alone again, but the blonde boy had managed to make himself comfortable by now, one leg folded under the other, having gotten something out to eat that looked a lot like fries from McDonald's, which Liam prayed they weren't because he had dumped enough trash into his body yesterday.

"Yeah, I guess, I mean… if you want to." He couldn't exactly keep Niall from going there, could he? Though it didn't seem very clear what he wanted to do there seeing as he obviously had no clothes or anything to change but the smile he gave Liam was enough to cause the older boy to immediately stop thinking about it.

"Great! Haven't been there in forever, it'll be fun." Probably not, though Niall really made it seem like it would be so Liam flashed him a quick smile, very thankful for the fact that the butterflies in his tummy weren't noticeable to anyone else but him. Which was bad enough though because they shouldn't have been there in the very first place.

 

—————

 

Having Niall at work with him didn't seem like the worst idea at all, to be quite honest, even if Liam tried to tell himself that it was different, he somehow liked not having to be alone.

The younger boy kept his promise for the most part, he really wasn't a bother or anything, only a few times, he would start distracting Liam by talking a little bit too much, but it was fine in the end because as soon as Liam said something like 'I really gotta get this done', Niall shut up immediately, focusing on the book again that he had in his lap, both of his legs over the armrest of the chair, he looked pretty comfortable there whenever Liam threw a look at him. 

Since Niall had come rather late, they only had like two and a half hours of this before Liam was free to go, he did send Niall outside a few minutes earlier before him, telling the boy to wait in front of the building so no one would see them leave together. Niall did pout for a second but he agreed anyways, probably because he didn't want to cause any trouble like he had promised before, something that Liam appreciated very much.

Also, Niall's eyes almost fell out of his head once he saw Liam's car since Liam had to get his stuff from there because going to the gym with a suit was maybe not very advisable. But it's not that Niall would've gotten jealous or anything, he just talked about how great the car was, and how cool before starting to smile big time again like he always seemed to do. Why was he so happy about them spending time together? Wasn't he bored to death already, Liam wasn't even funny or anything, plus he had shushed Niall down at least 5 times as well, if their places were switched he would've already left hours ago and deleted his number, but no, Niall seemed to not wanting to leave Liam alone ever again, something that he wasn't used to at all, it wasn't bad just… he didn't get why Niall would like him this much, there was nothing interesting about him at all.

The gym session turned out to be both the most useless but also most extraordinary one that Liam had ever had, he would've thought that Niall would at least pretend to work out, but since he had no clothes to change or anything, all he really did for 5 minutes was laughing about how he couldn't lift any weights, and then he settled for causing Liam to blush pretty terribly by watching him, constantly throwing in things like 'you know, you look really good like this' and 'you're so fit, Liam, I wish I had the motivation to work out'. So yeah, it's not that Liam would've complained about the other boy saying or doing any of this, just… _why_ would he do that at all?! Or come to the gym if he had never planned on working out, just for Liam himself, just to hang out with him? It somehow seemed like it, even if Liam couldn't get it into his head.

"See, I told you this was gonna be fun." As they were walking back to Liam's car an hour later, the older boy had some casual clothes on again, he had also showered which he usually saved for coming home again but since Niall had been there, he hadn't really been keen on being all sweaty and maybe smelly as well, not that he wanted to impress the boy or anything.

"Of course it was fun for you, you didn't even do anything, Nialler." At first, Liam didn't even think about what he had said, it was only when Niall's face brightened up even more that he realized that the boy's nickname had slipped out, the one he had heard Louis say the day before, so he quickly tried to correct himself. "Um, I… if you don't want me to call you that then it's okay, I just heard Louis say it yesterday and I must've somehow remembered it, but-"

"I really like when you call me that." Niall interrupted before playfully bumping his elbow into Liam's side, forcing him to catch a quick breath if he didn't want to suffocate. "Right, since we're talking about that, can you give me Harry's number?"

That question almost caused Liam to run into a street light, it had just come out of nowhere, like he hadn't been thinking about Harry all day long or anything, all he had been thinking about had been that Niall must really like him just so now the whole impression had gotten destroyed. Right, of course he liked Harry more than Liam, it's not that he cared. "Sure…"

"Great, thanks. Louis wouldn't stop talking about him on the whole way back and I'm scared he'll do something strange just to get his number, I thought I could just ask you for it instead." Oh, well, that changed things a bit… "I'm really glad now that I told Louis to come upstairs, and also that Harry was there, remember when I said that unless you had a super hot best friend I didn't want to introduce Louis to you too soon? Well, I don't think Harry is super hot, but Louis does, so…"

"I believe the feeling is quite mutual." Suddenly, Liam felt a bit high from Niall's words, especially now that he knew that Niall did definitely not like Harry better than him, but also, he had told Liam that he found him hot, but not Harry, and maybe that was really ridiculous, but it just made him happy for some reason. 

"Even if it wasn't then Louis would probably make sure it would be soon. Imagine, and I was scared he'd flirt with you instead." Chuckling, Niall made a movement with his hand as if it was the funniest thing ever, once again implying on what had been part of the reason for Liam's worries, the 'I don't wanna lose you to Louis'.

"Doesn't mean I would've flirted back though." Watching Niall's reaction at this, Liam felt a bit reckless for having said that, like, he wasn't trying to say anything with that, but he didn't just want to drop the topic either without Niall having said something about this, preferably something to clear his confusion a little bit, not only regarding Niall's behavior, but also kinda regarding his own.

"Yeah, I wouldn't have let you anyways." The smile was still there, maybe it had even gotten a bit cheeky now, because Niall was definitely not shy to look right at Liam and wink at him, immediately causing him to blush and draw his eyes away from the boy, fumbling with his car keys. Maybe he should've rather dropped the topic. 

"Why not?" Liam still asked, a little breathless though, but he never got an answer to his question somehow, Niall was very good at pretending that he hadn't heard him obviously, and as soon as Liam had unlocked the car, Niall immediately walked over to the passenger side as if nothing had even happened.

"Is it really okay if you drive me? I can also take the bus, won't take very long either." After all that had happened, Liam had decided that it wouldn't matter whether he told Niall that he could bring him home, he had had stuff to do, but did those few minutes really matter if he could make the younger boy smile instead? The way Liam's priorities had changed within a few days was kinda worrying.

"It's no problem, I told you. Besides, you've twice paid for my food, gotta make it up." Also, Liam didn't wanna admit it but he would've felt really guilty for letting Niall walk or take the bus if he had a perfectly fine car right here.

"I should do something for you more often." There it was again, some cryptic comment Liam had no idea how to interpret, he also couldn't ask what it had been about because let's be honest, it had gotten to a point where Liam had no control over the situation anymore and it had happened in such a short time that he hadn't even had any chance to comprehend it either.

As soon as Liam had started the car and pulled out of his parking spot, he already felt the stare at the side of his face, it was slightly distracting though the traffic was luckily holding more of his attention, like, he wanted to throw a quick look over, but not so desperately that he'd risk killing both of them, so instead, he quickly cleared his throat. "So… I don't actually know where your dorm is, I've just been going straight ahead."

"I'll tell you when to take turns and stuff, I can't describe it properly, we'd probably end up in the middle of nowhere." A giggle that caused Liam's tummy to turn a bit, normal by now, not as worrying as the goosebumps he got when Niall continued to talk though. "Hmm… I like watching you drive."

"Um, why?" Judging by what Liam could see from the corners of his eyes, Niall had seriously leaned his head against the window, but towards him, immediately causing him to grip the steering wheel tighter, what would be great about watching him drive? About watching him at all really.

"I don't know, it's kinda calming, and completely different from when Louis used to drive us around back home, I always felt as if I was taking my last breaths. But I feel really safe with you, you know, like…" Then there was some silence, no sound besides from other cars outside, but Liam's heart was bumping so fast already that he wasn't really sure whether he had really heard the half whispered 'all the time' or if it had been his imagination running wild. Hopefully the latter because he had no idea what else to do with that information really, god, what even was going on between them?

For some reason, Niall had stopped his constant rambling, during the whole drive, he stayed very quiet, sometimes humming a melody, smiling softly every time Liam pretended that he had to look over but really just wanted to check the younger boy's face again. God, he looked so nice today, it's something Liam had been thinking all day but hadn't allowed himself to really admit, it seemed so final to think that, as if he had already given up on trying to stop them from getting in even deeper, because if there was one thing for sure, it was that this had gone too far as to not leave any consequences if Liam really did decide that he couldn't do this anymore. As things were right now though, he was pretty sure he wouldn't have survived it, he liked Niall way too much already, even if he had no idea how that could've happened, but it had somehow, and just like Liam wouldn't have purposely hurt Zayn or Harry, he also wouldn't do it with Niall now.

The drive wasn't too long, only ten or fifteen minutes, mostly because of traffic though, it was only when Liam stopped in front of the right building that Niall pointed to, that he realized how used he had gotten to having the other boy with him during the day, it'd probably feel really weird now to let him go. "Thank you again for driving me, and your car is really cool, just to make sure you know it, because it really is."

"You can drive it sometime, if you want to. And if you have a license, do you?" Yeah totally normal right, now Liam was the one suggesting they should hang out again and just yesterday he had been whining about how Niall was wasting his time, he really needed to clear his head a little.

"I do! That'd be awesome, thank you!" Before Liam could even open his mouth again, Niall had already thrown his arms around the older boy's neck, squeezing him so tightly that he almost ran out of breath, still hugging back though, automatically somehow, but also because Niall was really warm. "You smell surprisingly good after working out."

"You know that I showered…" Liam mumbled, slightly embarrassed, tingles running down his spine as Niall laughed right against the bare skin of his neck where the younger had his head, hair ticking Liam's cheek, and _yes_ , it really was as soft as it looked like. 

"I know, Liam, I was just joking, you know me." He did, though he probably shouldn't have, Liam felt like he knew the boy TOO good for only having met him two weeks ago. "Okay, well, I should go, I guess, you probably got stuff to do."

"Yeah…" A whole ton of stuff since he had wasted the whole weekend, it was constantly bugging Liam in the back of his head, but having Niall this close, inhaling his scent, neither of them letting go despite the very uncomfortable position, Liam couldn't really judge the situation correctly, something he'd for sure have to pay for once he was alone again.

"I mean… if you don't though… or if you got a few more minutes, I mean, you could come upstairs and look at my dorm. It's not so big, but I put this really cool thing up on my wall, you know, and Louis tells me it looks like shit so … well, I could need another opinion, you know. Only if you have time though, you don't have to, I could probably also send you a picture of it or something, but it looks very different in real life kinda." No, no, no, bad idea, VERY bad idea.

"I… I should probably get home and study, I'm a bit behind… and my dad always sends me stuff to keep me busy after work as well, I… " Yeah what, 'I'? Liam didn't know what to say, or do, the excuses kind of came without even thinking about it, because he was so used to always saying no to stuff like this, but as Niall pulled back all of a sudden with a small smile, Liam suddenly realized that just for once, he really did NOT want to go home and get anything done right now, just for once, he really wanted to ignore his responsibilities.

"It's okay, I mean, if you got stuff to do, I understand. I should probably study too, I'm just too lazy, you know, and Louis isn't home either so I gotta use the time and eat stuff from the fridge before everything is gone again." Sounded very reasonable, Niall shrugged a bit, still smiling of course, his hand barely on the door handle as he got his backpack that had been lying on the floor by his feet. "So, I guess… we'll see each other soon, right?"

The 'right?' was really what gave Liam the final push, he had been torturing his bottom lip the whole time, thoughts running wild while contemplating what he should do, like, did those few minutes really matter anymore? Like, he felt kinda weird for having such an urge to give in, he didn't usually when any of the others wanted to hang out, but with Niall it was just… different. Plus, who knows when they'd see each other again, right? "Yeah, actually I um… you know, I guess I could spare a few minutes though, now I mean, if you want me to look at-"

"Yes, I do, come on!" Suddenly, Niall was very quick opening the door up, his face had brightened up 10 more times if that was even possible, from one second to the other, causing Liam to feel a bit less guilty about that decision, he still knew that he shouldn't have agreed though, something that was easy to forget in Niall's presence, but once he'd get home, he'd hate himself for it.

Still, Liam followed after Niall, locking the car as they were stood on the sidewalk, the younger boy making a gesture with his hand, throwing the backpack half over his shoulder again, grinning from one ear to the other, his happiness really infected Liam in some way, like, he felt less stressed out somehow, less worried, though he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

"I haven't had anyone over yet, that's pretty exciting." As Niall fumbled with the keys, Liam just stood there watching, a bit confused by that statement and the accelerated voice.

"Why not?" Didn't Niall have tons of friends? That's a question Liam had asked himself very often during the past few days, the boy wasn't exactly what he would call shy or introvert.

To his surprise, Niall just shrugged a little bit, it didn't do anything to his bright face though for which Liam was really relieved, he hadn't mean to ruin the mood or anything, he was just curious, not very usual for him. "Haven't met too many great people yet, I mean, don't get me wrong, I talk to a lot of people at uni, I also sometimes hang out with them, but… I don't know, I don't really feel an urge to deepen those friendships."

"But… " Right, Liam couldn't ask that now, could he? He desperately wanted to know though, like, why him? Out of everyone? Plus he was 3 years older than Niall as well, their lives were totally different, they shouldn't have gotten along as well as they did.

Niall didn't react to Liam's cut off sentence, he just locked the door up before stepping inside, holding it open for Liam then and just as the older boy walked past, he decided to speak up again, not shy or anything, but rather as if they were talking about the weather or something. "I don't know, I just like you, Liam, you're really nice and funny and you don't tell me to shut up when I start rambling."

"Who tells you to shut up?" A little bit thrown off track, Liam actually stopped walking, causing Niall's face to go a bit softer, maybe because he had sounded angry, but really, who would ever dare making Niall sad?

"No one, I just meant, I know I talk too much but you don't get annoyed by it, or at least you don't openly show it so thank you and I know I should really keep my mouth closed sometimes but yeah." Shrugging a bit, Niall almost hopped on the first step, it was kinda cute, a lot actually if Liam was being honest, his mind was still stuck on all the compliments Niall had just made him, his tummy felt really warm from it, the worries from before in the car had almost completely vanished. "Anyways, sorry that we gotta walk, the elevator is broken, but I live on the second floor so it's not that far."

"Yeah, I haven't gotten enough exercise today anyways." Liam joked, feeling a bit light headed, laughing as the younger boy threw a look at him over his shoulder, pretending to be serious for like two seconds before joining. 

He turned out to be right though, it really wasn't far at all even though Niall's room was all the way across the hallway, but Liam was pretty curious to see the boy's dorm so he barely noticed anyways, not really expecting a lot, but it's not that he honestly cared, he wasn't some snob or something, he hadn't even chosen his apartment himself, his dad had already owned it and allowed him to move into it after he had graduated. "Okay, here we go. Ignore the mess please, I'm not really into cleaning and neither is Louis, I know this is like fifty times smaller than your place, but it's pretty cheap as well, so…"

"It's fine, Nialler, I don't care how big it is or whatever, you don't owe me an explanation." Because it did make him feel bad once stepping into the room after Niall, realizing that the boy had been right, maybe not 50 times smaller, but still very far from big as well. Nevertheless though, somehow it fitted to Niall, the younger boy dropped his backpack somewhere after locking up behind Liam, taking his shoes off before pointing to a closed door.

"That's Louis' room, mine's over there, and there's the bathroom, in case you need the toilet or something, I don't know, we only have three rooms and this one, so I guess there's no need to really give you a tour or something. Well, we also got a fridge and cooking area over there, but that's it." Shrugging, Niall left Liam a second or two to look around, though there wasn't much to see, it was literally just a small, half empty room. "Okay, I'll show you my room, come on."

Literally only having to take three steps, Niall opened the door closest to the bathroom, blocking the whole sight for a second as he turned the lights on before fully stepping inside and giving Liam room to come in after him. There wasn't much, just a bed, a closet and a desk, but it looked rather messy like Niall had warned before, there were a hell lot of clothes scattered around the room, nothing gross or anything though, plus the thing that captured Liam's attention the most was what Niall had talked about before in the car, the whole wall over his bed was plastered with photos, not only of people but literally anything. "Wow, that must've taken ages to put up."

"A while, but I had all the pictures already and I didn't know what to do to make my room look less ugly so this seemed to be a good solution. Do you like it? Louis says it's too much, but he has no room to talk because he got his whole walls full of posters with football players in too tight shorts." Chuckling a bit, Niall moved to collect a few pieces of clothes off of his bed, carelessly throwing them onto his chair before collapsing onto the mattress. 

"It looks good, really… do you take photos of everything?" It quite seemed like it, Liam had to smile a bit as he remembered the supermarket incident, it made a bit more sense now. 

"I guess I do, it's fun. And I got a lot of pictures of when I was home and stuff, so it makes me feel a bit better to see them. You can sit down if you want to, I mean, if you got some time to stay, I wouldn't mind at all." Somehow it made really Liam sad to hear Niall say such things, he sat down without even thinking about it, on the edge of the bed, forcing his voice to sound as soft as possible as he looked at the younger boy who was still smiling despite his words, legs crossed.

"You miss home?" Liam knew that he did since it wasn't the first time that he had mentioned it, but Niall just shrugged a little bit, playing with his blanket.

"Sometimes, but it's okay, I'll get used to it, I've been only here since the beginning of the semester anyways. What about you, do you go home very often?" Right, that wasn't Liam's favorite topic, he quickly looked down, playing with his fingers as he tried to figure out what to say, he kinda wanted to be honest with Niall for some reason, he felt like he could trust the boy, but then again, it wasn't about trust, it was more that he didn't want to talk about it for the sake of not having to think about it himself and realize how fucked up his family was.

"I… I don't really, you know, um… my parents don't live too far away, but… I don't really feel an urge to go there too often, but it's whatever." That had to be enough, it was pretty clear that he didn't wanna talk about it probably because Niall stayed silent for a bit before suddenly starting to untangle the blanket and rearranging his pillows against the wall, patting the empty space next to him.

"Come on, it's probably really uncomfortable there, I know my bed is small but it's really the only place we could sit at." True, it _really_ was small, but Liam, being half stuck in thoughts about his family now and on the other hand feeling a bit dizzy because of the way Niall was looking at him all the time with those soft, blue eyes, only considered it for a moment before scooting closer towards the younger boy, until his back hit the wall as well. So much about only staying for a few minutes. "You're not feeling uncomfortable, are you? I mean, being on the bed with me and all, you look a bit unsure about this."

"What? No, I just… I was just thinking about some things, nothing more, I… I don't feel uncomfortable with you." Blushing a bit at admitting it, Liam realized that that was probably exactly what Niall had hoped to hear because he grinned big time, forcing the older boy to catch a quick breath before staring at the opposite wall instead. 

"Thanks. I'm glad you're saying that because I'm feeling quite comfortable with you as well." Liam had already guessed that by now, considering the last few days that he still wasn't really sure had happened, like, he hadn't planned for any of this to happen, he also really didn't want it to but it didn't seem as if he had a choice. "I'm also really glad that you changed your mind about me."

"I… I really was busy though, before the thing on friday, I mean, it's just…" Then Liam sighed a bit, because how should he explain this? Of course Niall deserved an explanation as to why he suddenly behaved so differently, but it was hard to think while sitting here with the nicest and most gorgeous boy Liam had ever met, not that he'd ever say that out loud. "I don't have lots of time to like, hang out with friends and stuff, I also always cancel when Harry asks me to go do something, it wasn't anything personal, also not if I came off rude when we met at the supermarket, I was just in a hurry and stressed out, but I'm still sorry anyways."

"It's fine, no need to explain yourself to me, 'm just happy things turned out like this to be honest. I really do like you, you know, even if we don't know each other for that long, but it kinda feels like it." Unfortunately, Liam had to agree with that, he was a bit nervous again about the direction this was going, not wanting to be directly confronted with it, so he continued playing with his fingers instead, refusing to turn his head and look at Niall, at the same time being well aware of his presence though, and the lack of distance between them. "Can I ask you a completely theoretical question?"

There had been a pause between that question and what Niall had said before, his voice sounded a bit different now, not that Liam would've checked or anything, but it told him that this was definitely not meant in a theoretical way at all, yet still, because he had no choice, he nodded slightly. "Sure, Niall…"

"Okay." Then he took a breath, causing Liam to wanting to press his eyes shut, he was 99% percent sure that he didn't wanna hear this, like, his heartbeat even started to speed up at the thought of what this might be. Turned out that it was even worse than Liam could've ever imagined. "So, let's say you'd have like, tons of free time and no idea what to do at all, and you'd know me like, a little bit better, I mean I've told you a lot of stuff about me already so maybe you wouldn't even have to know me for that much longer, but anyways… I was just wondering that if you weren't busy or anything, would you ever agree to go out with me if I asked you?"

Shit. That was exactly what Liam had been scared of, hearing something like this, forcing him to think about that possibility, it seemed so ridiculous somehow, that someone who he had only known that shortly would ever ask him this, even if he claimed it was only theoretically. Sure, Liam had gone on dates with people who he had barely known, that kinda was the point of a date somehow, but this was Niall and Liam had been thinking about a way to get the boy to delete his number just a few days ago and now they were here on his bed and Liam finally had confirmation as to why the younger boy seemed to be so obsessed with him.

The problem was that Niall hadn't just officially asked him out, but if Liam answered then he was pretty sure that the other boy wouldn't stop trying, not ever, on the other hand, if he told him a simple 'no', it'd both hurt Niall and then again… well, it would also be a lie, because he DID fancy the boy, as hard as he had tried to deny it, but it was hard not to somehow.

Closing his eyes, Liam took a few seconds to answer, trying to imagine a scenario where he and Niall were more than just this, it kinda freaked him out though, especially because it somehow seemed pretty easy. They could never have that, Liam couldn't allow them to get even closer, or like _this_ , so instead, he decided to make sure Niall knew that this wasn't like, an invitation or anything. "Theoretically?"

"Yeah." The smile was there, Liam didn't need to check to know it, so he took a deep breath before opening his mouth again, knowing that it was the dumbest thing he could've done, making Niall hopes, making it very obvious that he did in fact like him back, that he wasn't straight or anything, or taken or whatever.

"Then yes, I… I would. If things were different." Liam added quickly, knowing that it wasn't gonna do anything, now that it was out, he couldn't take it back, so just to check, he forced himself to open his eyes, turning his head with glowing cheeks, not exactly surprised by what he saw.

"Okay, that's all I wanted to know. Do you want a sandwich?" Niall's grin was so immensely big that Liam almost had to sigh again, he was such an idiot really, and though he had tried not to hurt Niall, as he watched the younger boy getting up and half dancing out of the room to get food, Liam was pretty sure that now he'd cause him even more pain than he would have had with lying to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things will get more interesting from the next chapter onwards, promised, up to now it was just explaining things and stuff.


	5. Chapter 5

"Harry, I don't know what to do." Confessing it was pretty hard actually, it's not that it was anything new though, because Harry knew what was going on pretty well, thanks to his intense contact with Louis over the past one and a half weeks ever since Liam had given his best friend's number out and after he had come home from Niall's dorm wishing he was dead. 

"Well, that's something new out of your mouth, Li, do you need any love advice? I suggest you just go for it, because we all know how much Niall is into you and it'd do you good to stop overworking yourself for a bit and relief some stress with a good make out session and some se-"

"I don't need any love advice, thanks." He did, but not from Harry, Liam just groaned in frustration, burying his face in his arms that he had crossed over the table, trying to ignore the chewing sounds Harry was making across from him, why exactly had he thought it'd be a good idea to go out for lunch with him? 

"No offence, Liam, but it kinda looks like you need it pretty desperately, like, how long has it been since he asked you out? Almost two weeks and you still haven't-"

"He didn't ask me out, it was just theoretically, I told you." His voice was numbed because Liam refused to lift his head, regretting every decision in his life right now, but most of all, he regretted having told Harry the whole story a few days ago.

Ever since that day Niall had just shown up at work, Liam had been trying to get his life back on track, keep himself busy again and all that, it's just, it hadn't worked as well as he had planned on.

Mostly because Niall didn't back off anymore, he was constantly texting Liam, had shown up yet another two times at work to bring him lunch, not even talking about when he randomly came over to Liam's apartment with his books, like he had totally gotten that Liam was always stressed out and anxious about wasting time, so Niall had simply started studying next to him, even quietly most of the time, just so Liam wouldn't throw him out or anything. Which he wouldn't have managed to do even if he had bloody wanted to, because damn, having Niall around made Liam feel better, even if sometimes the boy sat a bit too close, hugged him way too long and placed a few unnecessary kisses on Liam's cheek that did in fact distract him from work, but also caused his tummy to fill with warmth so it's not like he could really complain, could he?

On the other hand, Louis and Harry had apparently met up a lot as well, it was funny to think about actually, and also the fact that Harry hadn't bothered Liam with creepy details yet like he usually did, no, to his surprise, neither him nor Niall had any idea about what was going on between their best friends. Maybe that was for the better though, Liam had his own life to worry about, that was truly enough.

"Liam, I know that you guys are together all the fucking time, just grow some balls and make a move, if you still wanna deny that you like him then you seriously need help, man." True, Liam would've very much appreciated some help to be honest, he still hadn't lifted his head, kinda embarrassed that Harry would comment on his blushed cheeks, he wouldn't have usually behaved like this in public, as if he was a whiny kid.

"But you know I can't do relationships right now, I'm way too busy, it wouldn't be fair, and anyways, we didn't actually go out so it's whatever, I mean, I just… I'm not used to this, okay? I don't normally like anybody this much, I just don't know what to do, alright?" Getting a bit aggressive, Liam was forced to sit up straight again because he would've probably suffocated otherwise, running a hand through his hair while watching Harry continuing to eat as if they were just having a normal conversation and Liam wasn't pouring his heart out, something he barely ever did, but let's be honest, he had done a lot of things he didn't usually do. Or never, actually.

"When's the last time you were able to _do_ relationships then? And what do you mean, _right now_? We both know that you're not gonna quit your job anytime soon or drop out of uni, do you not wanna be with anyone anymore for your whole life just because of your dad?" Harry just asked bluntly, he didn't even sound as if he was trying to be mean or anything, he was simply stating facts, which was exactly what got Liam mad at an instant, they barely ever talked about his family, for various reasons.

"This has nothing to do with my dad, it's not like I would go tell my parents." Instead of doing that Liam could as well go and pack his bags to be honest, they would kill him already if they found out that he let Niall kiss him on the cheek, a _boy_ , sure, Liam had dated guys before, but nothing his mum and dad would ever hear about. "No, it's not about him, partly maybe, but I got a job to do and I can't let myself get distracted, besides, maybe he doesn't even like me that much, I don't even know why he would anyways."

Rolling his eyes at this, Harry stole Liam's napkin to clean his mouth before answering, sounding more than just annoyed by now. "Please stop putting yourself down now, Liam, and seriously, _fuck_ your job, alright? A relationship is exactly what you need, you're alone way too much, I've been telling you that for a year and now you got the chance but you won't take it? There's more to life than working, Liam, or getting good grades or whatever, sure, that's important, but not more important than everything else, alright? Just think about that for a while, I'm not a bloody therapist and I gotta leave now actually or I'll be late." 

"Are you meeting up with Louis again?" Deciding to just store Harry's words far away into the depths of his brain just so they wouldn't actually make him think, Liam forced himself to smile, at least one of them had figured it out and was happy.

"Yeah… you know, I feel really bad actually, because I spend so much time with him, I know that him and Niall are pretty close." That was true, however Niall had never mentioned anything like that so Liam just shrugged while Harry seemed to be lost in thoughts for a second before smirking all of a sudden, a cheeky grin that caused Liam's stomach to drop. "But he's got you to hang out with so I believe he's gonna be fine, Louis said he talks a whole bunch about you."

"Yeah? Like what?" Liam tried to pretend and be uninterested, playing with his empty glass, almost bursting inside though, he really wanted to know.

"I don't know, I didn't ask, it's a thing between the two of them." Harry was such an ass, he KNEW that Liam was dying to find out, but he pretended not to care of course, pouting internally though, watching as Harry got his jacket from the back of his chair, slowly slipping it on. "Right, before I forget it, we might send Niall over to sleep at your place."

"You… what?" Immediately, Liam was all ears again, not exactly sure if he had really just heard that, because what the hell? Who was Harry to decide that?!

"Because my flat is really far away from where we're going and it's friday and I'm not so keen on having your boyfriend sitting on the bed with us again for an entire hour and getting crumbles everywhere because he can't close his mouth while chewing." Sounded a lot like Niall, but didn't explain anything at all, like, Liam wasn't gonna question what exactly Harry and Louis were planning on doing there all alone because he had a pretty good idea, but still, that wasn't his problem.

"So? It's Niall's dorm as well, you can't just send him over to me, you don't even live there, Harry, and it'd be a pretty asshole-ish move by Louis to throw his best friend out just because you're there. And he's not my boyfriend." By now, Harry had fully slipped his jacket on, about to stand up and probably leave Liam all alone here, still not very impressed by his argumentation, was he losing his ability to make great speeches now as well?

"Liam, you are aware of the fact that he'd LOVE to sleep over at your place, right? Maybe you can use the time and talk some things out, who knows, you might even thank me in the end." Before Liam could protest again, Harry had walked around the table, leaning down to pull him into a light, unexpected hug, lingering for a bit before speaking up, more quietly this time. "You're my best friend, you've been since forever and you did so much for, Liam, I'd really like to do something for you as well, you know? So can you please consider thinking about this at least? I know that you like Niall a lot, I'd be so happy for you if this worked out."

"I… I'll think about it." Mostly because his throat felt a bit tight now, but also a little bit because despite his tries, Harry's word's still caused Liam to look at things a bit differently.

"Thanks. I'll see you soon, okay?" Harry was smiling as he pulled away which Liam could only barely return, watching his friend leaving then while he was still just sat there, with his food half untouched, trying to figure out since when exactly Harry was the one to get away in a rush and Liam the one who stayed behind and wasted time. Like, it's not as if Liam hadn't gotten anything done during the past few days because he had, but not as much as usual, it didn't even matter if Niall was there with him as well, ever since that weekend, the boy somehow had his place in Liam's head and wouldn't leave, like he'd just randomly zone out and remember some stupid joke Niall had told him, or a kiss on the cheek before he had left the day before, it were dumb things really, something Liam would have never thought could happen to him, like having some silly crush on someone, but it had, and judging by the ways Niall had managed to turn his life around in under a month, maybe it wasn't even a silly little crush anymore.

 

———— Niall ————

 

"What are you doing?" Louis had been walking up and down for ten minutes now, finally making enough noise for Niall to roll out of bed, rubbing his eyes while walking over into his friend's room, he probably shouldn't have gone right back to bed after uni had been over, but what are you gonna do, he had just been bloody tired.

"Looking for a shirt to wear… were you asleep? It's 5pm, Nialler." Yeah, about that… maybe Niall should have gone to bed last night, but he had stayed awake for no reason in particular, he just hadn't been able to fall asleep, which may or may not have had something to do with Liam, they hadn't seen each other in 2 days now and though they texted, Niall had still started to miss him already, clearly aware that he probably had some attachment problem, but he just couldn't help it, especially with Liam.

Niall had liked him from the first second on somehow, since he wasn't too shy, he would've just asked him out on the spot if Liam hadn't been so distant, so he had decided to take it slow, wait a while until they knew each other better, not really expecting to be ignored though. Well, but then of course Liam had picked him up from this pub and Niall's heart could've bursted every time he thought of how caring the older boy was, he might pretend not to be, but it was too late to hide that now, Niall had figured him out in no time.

He was aware that Liam had a lot of pressure, probably from home since he never wanted to talk about that, that he didn't want to deepen their friendship because of that, on the other hand though, he had also admitted that he'd go on a date with Niall if things were different so Niall wasn't just gonna give up, he really did like Liam a whole lot, maybe even so much that it even surprised him himself, he wasn't usually like this. Sure, he was friendly and open, but he never really fell that hard for people, normally it was just for fun, fooling a bit around, but this, this was different. Plus, he knew for a fact that Liam liked him back, it wasn't too much of a secret, Niall just had to brush his hand against Liam's thigh and look up to see the older boy's cheeks blushing like crazy. Now all he had to do was figure out how to convince Liam to take this further, he didn't wanna push it or anything, but damn… limiting it to kisses on the cheeks was a bit frustrating. 

"I was just… taking a nap, Lou. Anyways, I deserve to rest, I've been up the whole night." Since Louis was just standing in front of his mirror, putting on yet another shirt to examine, Niall shrugged to himself before going to lie in his best friend's bed instead, getting a look over the shoulder. 

"Were you texting Liam again?" Right, Niall should have checked his phone after waking up, but it was in his room and he was way too lazy as to get up, besides, Louis' blanket was really warm.

"No, you know that he never stays up too long because he has to get up at like 6 or 7, I wasn't doing anything in particular." Shrugging, Niall tried hard not to let his eyes fall closed now, it wouldn't be a very good idea since Louis would go and wake him up right away again. 

"Just tell me you had a wank over him, jesus." Laughing, Louis kicked the pillow away in time that Niall had thrown at him, mainly because, well, he hadn't had a wank over Liam last night, but that didn't mean that he never had, how could he have not, Liam was bloody attractive as hell. 

"I didn't. And you have no room to talk, I know that you and Harry aren't taking things exactly what anyone would call slow. Did you sleep with him?" Niall didn't feel very shy about asking these questions, it's how they always talked to each other, besides, Louis had just taken off his shirt to try a different one on, not even pausing in between to answer.

"No, I told you, I didn't just want this turn out like a quick fuck or whatever, he's really nice and besides that, he's also picking me up in a few minutes in case you wanna get dressed or something… or get out of my bed, I wouldn't be too unhappy about that either." Shrugging, Niall just remained half lying down, watching Louis looking at himself in the mirror, feeling kinda very happy with himself right now, not only had he managed to befriend Liam, but at the same time, he had also found someone who Louis got along great with, even if it had been kind of unintentionally, but still, Niall liked to see his best friend like this, he hadn't had a lot of luck with previous relationships, neither had Niall, though it had never really gotten to him because again, it had just kinda been to try things out and have fun, for both sides.

"Ugh, does that mean I'm alone the rest of the day? Why can't I stay in your bed if you leave anyways?" Hm, maybe Niall should've called Liam and asked if it would be alright if he came over, since he missed him and all, plus it was a friday as well, but he knew that Liam wouldn't take that as an excuse to lay off with work and Niall didn't wanna be annoying and try to convince him to do something else. But then again… he'd have to make a move at some point, he could as well do it today, it got unbearable to know that they both had feelings for each other but didn't actually do anything about it.

"Because we'll come back later, and I kinda told Harry that it'd be fine if he slept over, so we thought about it and… " At this point, Louis seemed satisfied with what he had on, turning around to look at Niall with a questioning stare, waiting until the younger boy gave him a lazy thumbs up before continuing, a little more careful now. "And we thought maybe… you should ask Liam if you can sleep over at his place."

It took a second or two for Niall to get what Louis was saying, he pretended to pout as soon as he got it, his heart making an uncomfortable jump at the thought though. "You're throwing me out of my own dorm?"

"No, I'm not, just…" Louis sighed a bit before coming to sit on the edge of the bed, probably thinking that Niall was genuinely upset now. "The walls are quite thin."

"I thought you were taking it slow!" Niall complained, laughing a bit though as he sat up, scooting closer to Louis to lean his head against the other boy's shoulder. 

"We are, this is our fifth date, Niall." Right, and Niall hadn't manage to take Liam on only one and studying together on the same couch didn't really count. "You don't have to leave, I just… wanted to protect your ears in case something happens, and besides that, I also thought you were kind of obsessed with Liam anyways."

"I'm not obsessed with him, Lou, I just like him a lot, 's all." Still not having lifted his head, Niall felt as if though he could've as well fallen asleep here, but Louis would have slapped him for getting drool over his shirt that he had been looking for so long.

"And he likes you too, Ni, Harry even asked him about whether you could sleep over and he didn't even complain, maybe you can use the time and get something going." For some reason Niall doubted that Liam had been very excited, he knew that the other boy didn't exactly hate him but he also knew that Liam's priorities were lying somewhere else most of the time. 

"Sounds like you found a babysitter for me… " Sighing, Niall sat up again even if it was hard, rubbing the sleep from his eyes once again before looking at Louis who seemed a bit guilty all of a sudden. "Hey, it's fine, I'll text him and ask, maybe you're right, I really should get something going."

"That's the spirit, Nialler, I believe in you. Besides, when was the last time your irish charm didn't work? Right, never." Well, it hadn't really worked this time though things were a lot different in multiple aspects, it was also the first time that Niall had a crush on someone who was more than just a year older than him, which maybe was one reason why he liked Liam, he was so mature and responsible, it was kinda impressive to Niall since he was so completely different.

"Yeah, I should probably shower and get changed first though… tell Harry I said hi if he comes to pick you up meanwhile, okay?" There were various reasons why Niall liked Harry, one, he was funny, two, he apparently was one of the only people Liam had and three, he had kept Louis from even beginning to think about whether he could find Liam attractive or not, yeah, Niall had been kinda afraid to introduce them, which was ridiculous now that he thought about it, but it was just another sign that he really did care about Liam, something he had told the other boy as well, just to make sure that he knew, if he had had any doubts or anything, he kinda seemed as if he could need the reassurance once a while.

"I will, don't come back too late tomorrow, okay?" Once again, Louis sounded as if he was babysitting Niall or something, but he laughed as the blonde boy lightly hit him on the shoulder before hugging him sideways for a moment, neither of them having gotten up yet.

"Text me once it's safe to come here without losing my eyesight due to nakedness." Enjoying Louis' arms wrapping around him for a moment, Niall pulled away then to get to his feet, feeling a lot less tired now at the thought of what he was gonna do in a bit, whether Liam was excited about this or not, Niall knew for a 100% that he liked him back so that was a start.

"Okay, you've seen me naked about fifty times though." Very true, but Niall rolled his eyes nevertheless, starting to walk out of the room without answering, a smile spreading on his face halfway as Louis spoke up again. "Have a good day, Nialler, love you."

"Love you too, Lou." He did, Louis was basically everything Niall had, he was like his unbiological brother, which was also why he had always been kinda scared about the older boy getting into a relationship, so he was even happier now that he had someone as well, even if him and Liam still needed to work on that a little bit, Niall wasn't just gonna give up, he had gotten them this far already, he could convince Liam to take it a step further as well, just no rushing or anything, that'd only scare him away.

Turned out that Harry really did show up while Niall was having the longest shower of his life, he didn't even do anything other than standing there, contemplating whether he had gone too far with the text he had sent to Liam before going to the bathroom, but then again why would sending him kisses be too far considering the fact that Liam had basically agreed to go out with him?

Stepping out into the cold after half an hour, Niall quickly tried rubbing himself dry as fast as possible, contemplating whether he should risk going to his room naked but deciding against then, maybe Louis and Harry were still here after all, and just being really, really quiet. Wouldn't be very much like themselves though, as far as Niall could judge, they seemed to be quite similar, at least if it came to shameless flirting, something Niall was very good at as well, but unfortunately, Liam wasn't.

After getting dressed, trying to stop his hair from tripping onto the floor, he decided that enough time had passed by, he knew that Liam wasn't at work anymore since a few hours, creepily enough, because he knew a lot of things about Liam's life that he maybe shouldn't have.

Snatching his phone from his desk, Niall tried not to get his hopes up too high, it's something he had learned over the past few weeks, he didn't take it personally either, it was just Liam, it didn't mean anything. The good thing with not expecting anything though was that whenever something happened Niall hadn't thought would happen, it felt even better than it normally would have.

 

_Liam 6:02 pm_

_yea harry told me, and sure, need me to pick you up?_

 

Like, maybe it was sad how excited Niall got over this, there wasn't even a smiley or anything, even though he always made sure to send Liam at least 2, but the fact alone that the older boy offered to come and get him, immediately agreeing as well, got Niall smiling widely as he quickly texted back, telling Liam that he would take the bus, not wanting to overdo it, before jumping up, randomly collecting things off of the floor to stuff them into his bag. What did he need anyways besides clothes? Maybe a toothbrush, so his plans wouldn't get ruined by something stupid like this, and deodorant, yeah, because once Liam had turned quite red after blurting out that Niall smelled good, he needed to maintain that then.

One thing that Niall didn't do though was trying too hard, like clothes and hair wise like Louis had just minutes ago, there was no use if Liam looked like he did and besides that, it wasn't gonna convince the older boy to make out with Niall just because he wore a nice shirt.

Still, he at least changed out of his sweatpants, because it seemed as if this would've gone too far, as if he was planning on moving right in, which he wouldn't have minded, but Liam probably would have, even if Niall had started trying to keep himself together with constantly trying to interrupt the older boy when he had work to do, but it was quite hard since he was so used to just blurting out with everything on his mind.

The way to Liam's apartment wasn't exactly what you would call short, he lived in the nicer part of the city of course, the one that made Niall feel awkward for walking down the streets in ripped jeans. Also, whenever he met people in Liam's building,

they would stare at him in a quite strange way as well, not that he cared that much, usually when he was there, all of his thoughts revolved around Liam anyways. As they mostly did lately to be honest.

Today wasn't any different, he felt pretty giddy about finally seeing Liam again, it wasn't anything he was too used to so he took it as a good sign, hoping that the older boy had at least missed him a little bit as well, because otherwise he might not enjoy the hug Niall was planning on giving him, preferably to never let go again. Or only if it involved some kisses maybe.

Ringing the doorbell downstairs so he'd be able to get into the building, Niall already felt a stupid grin forming on his face by how little time Liam needed to lock up for him, like, Niall even thought about taking the stairs, just to let some energy out and be there faster, but it were too many floors after all, he didn't wanna get there and be all breathless or anything.

To his surprise, Liam had already opened his front door halfway up, almost causing Niall to stumble inside because of how excited he was, almost forgetting that he should have probably taken his shoes off before bursting into the living room, but damn, he had _really_ missed Liam. "I'm here!" 

"Hi, are you doing o-" Before Liam could bring much more out, Niall had already thrown his arms around the boy's middle, barely having any time to check his face first, squeezing as tightly as possible, Liam was strong, he could take it, even if he froze up for a second like he always seemed to do before relaxing into it, hugging back, his voice getting a lot softer. "Hey…"

"Hey, I missed you." Deciding that it wasn't a good idea at all to keep that in, Niall pressed his face into the boy's shoulder, immediately feeling more at ease, he smelled so good and familiar by now, it was incredible, plus he was always warm as well, Niall wouldn't have minded being wrapped up in Liam's strong arms more often.

There was a moment of silence, though Liam didn't let go either, he took a while to answer, as if he needed to choose his words carefully or something. "I missed you too…"

Not really knowing whether he had just said it because it was appropriate, Niall still felt happy nevertheless, not planning on letting go anytime soon either, he didn't care if he came off as clingy and touchy, he was actually, he just normally held back so Liam wouldn't feel uncomfortable, but not today. "I like that shirt on you."

"You can't even see my shirt, Nialler." There was a bit of a chuckle that warmed Niall's stomach, though Liam was right because he had his face smushed against said shirt and also his eyes closed to appreciate the moment more, feeling the vibrations going through the older's body. 

"Don't need to see it, pretty much everything looks good on you, Li." It had only seemed fair to call Liam by some nickname as well, if it caused butterflies in Niall's stomach the other way around, the blonde boy hoped that Liam got a similar feeling, or maybe not, either way, calling him 'Li' made Niall feel as if they were closer, which was the main reason why he did it.

"Thanks…" There it was again, that embarrassment and the red face, Niall didn't need to look to know it was there, feeling the arms around him slip slightly, which usually would've caused him to pull away, but this time, he held on tighter. "Um, Niall…?"

"Yeah, sorry." Not wanting to make Liam feel uncomfortable, Niall suppressed a sigh before finally letting go, still smiling up at the other boy though, that shirt really DID look good at him, also that 3 day beard and his hair that always somehow seemed to be perfectly styled and his brown eyes piercing right into Niall's and… right, he had to focus here. "So, what're we gonna do? I mean, if you got work to do then I get it, it's fine, I just basically invited myself over, I mean, I'm really thankful you said yes because I don't wanna become deaf tonight, can you believe they never even slept with each other? Don't wanna become witness of their first time, man."

"Um… no, I… I didn't know that." Obviously embarrassed now, Liam scratched the back of his head while Niall finally took his shoes off, making a mental note to himself to not expect Harry's and Liam's friendship to be the exact same as his and Louis', maybe not everyone was so open about their sex life, especially not Liam as it seemed like, Niall should've known, but it was hard to shut up once he had started rambling.

"Well, now you do. So, do you got anything to do? I brought my book, I guess I could, um… need some studying actually, so it's fine if you have work or anything, I can keep myself busy." Yeah, but definitely not with that stupid book, all Niall would do was stare at Liam from the other end of the couch and get lost in daydreams about the older boy, quickly looking at a random page whenever he ran danger of getting caught staring while half drooling.

To his surprise, Liam didn't immediately agree, he actually seemed very unsure, biting into his bottom lip, almost causing Niall's heart to stop as he watched, he would've literally done anything to feel this mouth on his. "No, I… actually I thought we could like… watch a movie or something. I know that it must get boring for you that whenever we hang out we kinda do separate things, I'm sorry, it's just… you know."

Shrugging, Liam looked down for a moment while Niall's heart was bumping like crazy, this was a new thing, they had never done anything like this before, he had started doubting that Liam's TV was actually connected to electricity. Maybe he had changed his mind, maybe he wanted this as badly as Niall but just didn't know how to do it. "No, it's fine, I'm not bored or anything, I'm just happy when we spend time together, really! But a movie sounds great anyways, you have any good ones?"

Not waiting for Liam's answer, Niall just straight walked into the living room, dropping his backpack on the way, maybe a tad too excited about this, but he needed to show Liam that he really did wanna do this, that he appreciated the offer, and also that he definitely did not get bored whenever he went to Liam's office and watched him typing on his computer all concentrated in a suit. Hell, he loved it. "We can watch anything you want, we can just get them from iTunes."

"I wanna watch something we both like, though… can I?" Referring to the open laptop on the couch, Niall decided to ask before simply closing it and putting it away, Liam had come after him, looking a bit unsure but nodding either way, watching as Niall made himself more comfortable before sitting down as well, with too much distance like always, maybe not for normal people, but definitely for Niall. "So, what kinda movies do you like? We've never talked about that before, I feel like you could either be the type of guy who only likes action movies or the one who secretly watches stupid romances and then cries his eyes out because I know I do that sometimes, it's kind of relieving. But don't tell Louis, he wouldn't let me live it down."

"I won't, no worries." There was Niall's favourite smile, the crooked one, where Liam looked down while playing with his fingers, making him look more cute than hot, he was both though, another reason for Niall's breathing to get uneven whenever he thought about the older boy. "And I don't know really… I don't watch a lot of movies, it's fine if you pick one, your taste is probably a lot better than mine."

"I wouldn't bet on that actually." Laughing while thinking about all the fights he and Louis had had over that, Niall shifted a bit, pretending to accidentally get closer to Liam, he was very good at that by now since he did it all the time, it actually would've been pretty worrying if Liam hadn't noticed it yet but he had never mentioned or commented it. On the other hand though, he also didn't move away so Niall wasn't gonna stop creepily scooting closer. "But if you wanna risk it then I can choose one, just don't get mad at me afterwards if it sucks, I can't promise anything."

"I think I wanna risk it, here, choose one." Liam grabbed the remote from the coffee table before sliding it over to Niall, though 'sliding' was maybe the wrong term seeing as they were only sitting about a meter apart, even less in a few seconds once Niall would have pretended to stretch like he already planned on doing. 

"Alright then…" Focusing on the TV for a bit, Niall tried to actually think about what kinda movie he wanted to watch with Liam, it couldn't be something that would lead to Liam thinking that Niall was obnoxious as hell, but it also couldn't be something that'd bore both of them to death, or worse, don't distract Liam enough for him to question when the hell Niall had gotten so close to him. "So, how was work today?"

Apparently, Liam seemed quite surprised by that question, as if he hadn't expected Niall to care or something, but of course he did, he would've listened to Liam telling him about work all day long. "It was fine, nothing unusual or so, but, um, thanks for asking… how was uni?"

"Good, I guess." Niall shrugged, still looking through the movies, chewing on the thumbnail of his free hand without really noticing, he liked the fact that Liam had asked back, he wouldn't have done that a while ago. "I can barely remember actually, I was half asleep the whole time, I also went right back to bed afterwards and woke up because Louis couldn't decide on what to wear on his date with Harry. Seems a bit unnecessary to me to worry about that though, I never worry about what I wear when we hang out."

Of course, Niall had said that on pure purpose, but he shrugged anyways as he waited for a reaction, a bit nervous, but he was good at overplaying it, pretending to be very captivated by the TV and his thumbnail, almost being able to hear Liam's thoughts running wild at this. "But… but we've never went on a date, so…"

"Well, but we still see each other and do stuff, so where's the difference? Like, you could basically wear sweatpants with holes in them and a dirty shirt and I wouldn't like you any less." Just to put that out there because it was very true, Liam might have caught his breath a little bit at that, causing Niall to bite into the inside of his cheek in an attempt to keep his act up and try to stay casual, as if he had no intentions or anything. 

"I… " Then he just broke off, causing Niall to throw a look over at him, feeling bad now because of how obviously Liam was fighting for words, which was a good sign, if he was nervous, it meant that he cared.

"Hey, that was a compliment, Li." Smirking as the older boy looked up, Niall decided to put everything on one card, winking at him before turning his head away again, just barely seeing the older boy's face turning red. It was funny actually, because Niall knew how professional Liam behaved at work, but he seemed all shy and flustered around Niall, which made him feel quite proud to be honest, like, he was the only person who was able to make the older boy feel these things.

"I-I know, I… thanks, Nialler…" His voice had gotten more quiet, softer as well somehow, especially at the last part.There was a bit of hesitation afterwards, one that almost got Niall worried for a little, but then Liam seemed to find the courage to speak up again, almost whispering. "I could give that right back, you know…"

Ha! He had just admitted that he really liked Niall, right? That had basically been a love confession right there, though Niall already knew that Liam had feelings for him, it still caused him to grin widely, a little reassurance once a while couldn't hurt after all. "Thanks, Liam, if I had known that, I wouldn't have changed out of my sweatpants before, you know, but now it's basically all you're gonna see me in."

"I thought you don't worry about what you wear when we hang out though…" Liam threw in, apparently getting more confident now, even if he still had to clear his throat sometimes or pretend to cough to overplay his obvious embarrassment, it was kinda cute, to see how much he cared.

"I don't, but I still wanted to be normally dressed somehow, because you always look so nice, we could just both agree to wear only comfortable clothes from now on if we do movie nights more often. We definitely should, I'm all for it, you know." Finally having settled for a movie, a funny yet kinda sad one that wouldn't make it seem weird for Niall to rest his head on Liam's shoulder maybe, Niall handed the remote over, smiling brightly at the older boy, whose cheeks were still kinda pink, but he returned the smile now, causing the butterflies in Niall's tummy to go crazy.

"Yeah, we should, um… let's watch this then, yeah?" God, he was so cute, and so hot at the same time, Niall could barely bring himself to look away again, he kinda had to though, if he didn't wanna make Liam feel uncomfortable, but it was fine for those few minutes before the movie started, right? 

In the end, Niall stared a little bit longer of course, until Liam noticed, so Niall laughed it off before casually scooting even closer, pretending to watch the movie then, like, it was a good one, but he had chosen it for various other reasons.

One, it'd hopefully make Liam laugh, but most importantly, Niall had cried a few times watching it, so if he had to do it again today, it'd be a great idea to snuggle into Liam's side and get the older boy to try and calm him down, or maybe even better, maybe it'd bring Liam to tears as well and Niall could do it the other way around. Either way, he hoped that this was gonna conclude in touching and cuddling, something that wasn't too commonly shared between them, but it definitely should've been and Niall was suddenly very determined to make this happen, just like Louis had said, he needed to really get something going at some point, so why not start today? 

Watching a movie with Liam was kind of nice, because he definitely was far from constantly throwing in comments or distracting Niall from the plot, so he tried to hold back in return as well, figuring that Liam might really be interested since he laughed a few times as well, quietly though.

It took a while until Niall had found a way to sit so close to the older boy that their thighs were almost brushing against one another, like two third of the movie were over already by the time Niall decided to take a risk, nervousness pooling in his stomach for some reason as he threw a quick look over at Liam, who didn't even notice because he seemed to actually be watching, giving Niall enough courage to just go ahead on put his head on the older's shoulder, feeling him tense up at an instant. Well, that wasn't a good sign. "Do you mind?"

"No, I… it's fine…" Liam was just whispering, taking a while to relax while Niall secretly smiled to himself about how fast he had gotten an answer, it was really comfortable somehow, being this close, feeling Liam's warm body right next to his, his broad shoulder underneath Niall's cheek, sure, he could've gone further now and put his hand on Liam's thigh or arm, but then again, he didn't want to mess up before anything had even happened.

It was only towards the end of the movie that Niall lifted his head again, almost having passed out right there, also because Liam had completely relaxed into it by now, suddenly making a sound that almost sounded like sniffing, almost immediately causing the younger boy to jolt up, holy shit, had he seriously managed to make him cry?! "Liam…?"

"Hm, what?" He sniffed again, sounding a bit surprised while quickly wiping at his eye just as Niall sat up straight again to stare at him in shock as he noticed the tear on Liam's cheek that the older had obviously missed out on.

Without really thinking about it, or bothering to answer, Niall reached out to wipe it away softly, causing the skin underneath his fingers to heat up and Liam looking down at an instant, obviously more than embarrassed, though Niall could've died on the spot from his sudden outburst of love he felt for the older boy. "Li, it's okay, I cried a lot of times watching this movie, it's really sad, no need to be embarrassed, it's just me."

Shrugging a bit, Liam refused to meet Niall's eyes again, which maybe had something to do with the fact that the younger boy just kept on stroking his cheek with his thumb, he couldn't help himself anymore, Liam was so fucking stunning and sweet, what had Niall even done to deserve a friend like him? He'd literally sell his soul for them to be more though and staring at Liam's pink, plush lips, Niall felt as if though he couldn't hold back anymore, he just HAD to do it, Liam could push him away if he didn't want to, but he just needed to risk it.

"Hey, Liam…look at me." Still not having stopped touching him, Niall waited, a bit impatient now, for the older boy to slowly look up, meeting his eyes again, seemingly confused, probably because Niall had just been whispering, but also still blushed as hell. "Can I try something?"

There was no answer, so Niall took it as a yes or as a 'I don't care', which was still better than a no though, like, this might be his only chance, he might as well do it or he'd forever regret it.

Leaning in slowly, the background noise of the TV simply got filtered out of Niall's brain, all he could hear now was his own breath mixing with Liam's, his heartbeat speeding up with every millimetre that he caused to disappear between them, cupping Liam's cheek gently as he let his eyes fall closed just as the older boy's got wider, hesitating for another second, as if to ask for permission, but there was no reaction whatsoever, so with a tiny sigh, Niall closed the gap.

It was a really shy kiss, mostly because Liam didn't react at first, he didn't even move as Niall's lips were pressed against his, it was only when the younger boy applied a bit more pressure, kissing harder, that Liam complied, moving his lips as well, almost causing Niall to burst out into tears from relief.

Despite the fact that they were barely doing anything, Niall felt the tingles all over his skin, the by now familiar butterflies in his tummy as he leaned even closer, somehow turning his brain off then as he opened his mouth a bit, causing the older boy to gasp as he ran his tongue along Liam's bottom lip, tasting him, wanting more than just a little more than a peck. 

Not aware of the awkward position they were in, Niall couldn't hold back anymore, Liam tasted so good and though he hardly did anything at all, the blonde boy could tell that neither of them were exactly bad or unexperienced at this, how could Liam have been anyways, looking like this and all.

Because of that, but also because he was getting impatient, he gently nudged Liam's lips fully apart before licking into his hot mouth, slowly, still trying not to startle him or take it too far, even though actually, Niall didn't know how much further he could've taken this, maybe by shoving a hand down the other boy's jeans, but he wasn't gonna do that, he still had his palm pressed against Liam's cheek, keeping him close.

Even now, while doing something like this, Liam still somehow seemed a bit taken aback, he did kiss back, leaving Niall wanting more, but never actually fully getting into it as much as Niall, as if he couldn't fully turn his brain off, something Niall had done a long time ago. He even let out an involuntary whine as the older boy pulled back a little, going with him, not ready to stop kissing him yet, wanting to keep going even as Liam suddenly grabbed a hold of the hand against his face, pulling it off before bringing his second arm in between them, pushing against Niall's chest to keep him at a distance, breaking the kiss off immediately.

"What's… wrong?" Niall felt a bit out of breath as he slowly opened his eyes, his brain was somehow empty, still tasting Liam on his tongue, feeling the burn of his scruff on his skin, wanting nothing more than to lean back in and do it all over again, maybe this time while straddling the older's lap.

Unfortunately, Niall never got to fulfil his dreams because as he had cleared his head a bit, still catching his breath, he was finally able to fully take in Liam's face, and it was far from what you would've liked to see after kissing somebody. "Shit…"

"Liam, I… I'm sorry, did I do anything? I thought you wanted it, I thought…" He had kissed back for Christ's sake! But now he was just staring at Niall with wide eyes, as if he couldn't believe that they had just done that.

"It… it's not your fault, Niall, just… fuck. We shouldn't have… _I_ shouldn't have, I'm sorry… shit." It hurt to be quite honest, hearing how much he regretted it, all of a sudden letting go of Niall, leaving him alone on the couch to jump up, as if he needed to calm down or something. Didn't he like Niall after all? But why would he have kissed back then, it wasn't adding up, all Niall knew was that the euphoria from before was gone as he watched Liam walking up and down in the living room, rubbing his face while groaning, as if this had been the worst mistake he had ever made.

"Tell me what's wrong, Liam, if you didn't want me to kiss you, you should've pushed me back right away, or said something, I didn't know you-"

"No, it's not that, alright?!" His harsh voice caused Niall to flinch, though it didn't seems as if Liam was mad at him, he seemed more mad at himself, causing Niall to sigh deeply, why did this have to be so bloody hard? "We can't do that, I didn't… didn't plan on this to happen, and look, I… I do like you, it's just… I don't wanna make you any false hopes or anything, I can't… I can't be with you like that right now, okay? I can't and it's not fair to you and I'm sorry I kissed you, I just… I did want it but… I wasn't thinking and-"

"Hey, Liam, shh, it's okay, yeah? Come back here, we can talk about it, there's no need to freak out, I'm not gonna get mad or anything, I wasn't expecting you to propose to me a second later or anything, just… come sit back down, okay?" Relieved after what Liam had said, even if he felt sorry for the older boy because he was so obviously fighting for his words, Niall stretched a hand out towards him, moving to sit on his legs, forcing himself to smile and pretend that he wasn't disappointed, he should've known this would happen, and at least Liam had admitted that he had wanted to kiss him, that was something.

Hesitating for a moment, Liam gave in with a sigh then, still running a hand through his hair nervously as he came back, keeping his eyes down though, as if he was ashamed or something, ignoring Niall's hand, but he also didn't complain as Niall took Liam's in his, squeezing a bit, kind of happy that at least they weren't keeping their usual distance anymore. "I don't think there's a need to talk about it, you already know it, Niall, and god… I know it's bloody stupid, but that's just who I am and… I don't wanna hurt you."

Thinking about this, because yeah, Niall had a pretty good idea about what Liam meant, he wrapped his second hand around Liam's as well, brushing his thumb over the older's knuckles softly as he watched the side of his face, the way he bit his bottom lip while trying so hard not to look up. No, there was no way he could just let this go now and carry on like before, not if they both wanted this, Niall was about to find that out right now. "But let's say… theoretically-"

"No, Niall, stop with the theoretical, okay?" It sounded harder than planned obviously because Liam leaned back, sighing deeply but squeezing Niall's hand back, finally turning his head to look at him, he seemed quite sad, immediately causing Niall's mood to fall as well. "You know that I like you, and that I wanted to kiss you, and yes, I WOULD go out with you, but it wouldn't be fair to you."

"Why not?" Niall couldn't help but almost whine now, he hadn't exactly thought that once he would've managed to get Liam to kiss him that things could still be complicated, he wanted this so badly it was almost embarrassing.

"Because…." Liam started, biting his bottom lip again but not looking down this time, he just waited for a second before lifting his free hand, hesitating as he reached over before ever so gently brushing some hair out of Niall's forehead, immediately sending sparks down his spine, he had never done anything like this, now it was Niall who felt his cheeks turning hot, wanting Liam to keep going with the stroking, but he didn't unfortunately. "Because I barely got any time as you know, and I… can't let myself get distracted, my dad gave me this job under the condition that I'm in it with all I've got, I can't just blow this, and I'm not saying that you're keeping me from doing a good job, because you're not, but… if anybody would find out, like, if you come visit me at work and anyone would see us, you know… my parents would freak out and also, I… you know how easy it was for you to google my last name and immediately have the information you wanted? I'm not saying that I got paparazzi running after me on the streets, but my dad knows a whole lot of people, people he works with and stuff, and if anybody would see us and tell him, he… he's not very tolerant if it comes to anything that could distract me, and relationships are pretty much on the number one spot of those things. Also… he doesn't know I'm into guys, that's another reason why no one can find out, he'd kill me."

For a moment, Niall was quite shocked as let that sink in, keeping eye contact with Liam at all times though, his mouth popping open as he thought about what he had just heard. They couldn't go outside and snog in public places, which would be hard for Niall to keep but he could probably take it, he could stop visiting Liam at work even if he had enjoyed doing that and also, he had known from the beginning that Liam was busy, they had managed to still hang out though, and if Niall just got a quick kiss in between and some cuddling at night, he would still be overly thrilled. Thinking about how little he expected kinda shocked him, he didn't know whether he would've said what he was about to to anyone else, but the thing with Liam was, Niall had never ever felt this safe and good with anyone before, or this attracted to not only his appearance but just the way he was, he wanted this to work at any price. "I don't care."

Of course, this just caused Liam to groan, he was about to pull his hand away, but Niall kept on holding it, not ready to let go, he liked feeling Liam's rather rough palm against his. "Of course you care, Nialler, and you should, because this is a pretty big deal and you don't deserve this, I know, maybe I'm a bit melodramatic-"

"You are." Niall threw in, proud to get Liam to smile quickly even if he went right back to serious.

"But I'm just trying to tell you how things are, I shouldn't have let it come so far and I'm sorry, I wasn't exactly planning on… um… falling for you." The last part came out so quick that Liam was stumbling over his words, causing Niall to laugh despite the situation, this wasn't as hopeless as he had thought a few minutes before, it's not as if he had to get Liam to like him, he just needed to convince him that he just wanted to be with him

"I know that I'm very charming, Li, thanks." The thing was, Niall was actually beaming because of this, Liam didn't laugh like expected though, no, he simply nodded as if Niall had been serious, refusing to look him in the eyes.

"You are, Niall…. you're also very cute and pretty irresistible, which is why-"

"Why you should really give me a chance, because I really don't mind if you don't have a lot of time, I can still come over and sit on your lap and not talk, but you could still sometimes kiss me if you want and-"

"Niall-"

"I really don't mind, Li, I really, really like you and _please_ let's just try it, you don't have any responsibility, if it goes wrong it's not your fault or if you need me to shut up just tell me, but please give me a chance to convince you, we can't just pretend we don't like each other and don't want to kiss, I mean, I don't know about you but I do wanna kiss you again, so please say yes?" Yeah, it had gotten pathetic by now, Niall was literally full on begging Liam, but he didn't care, he KNEW that they could work this out, if they both wanted it, which they did because Liam had just confirmed that.

There was nothing but a bit of a frustrated sigh coming from Liam, he was looking at their intertwined hands now, not trying to pull away this time but rather holding on, speaking up right as Niall wanted to come up with another fifty reasons why Liam should agree. "Why are you so into me? Like… why is this worth all the trouble, just to be with me, I don't get it." 

"Are you kidding me, Liam?" Apparently, he wasn't, though Niall couldn't believe what he had just heard, hell, he could've written a novel on why he liked Liam, looking at him, it was hard to believe he wasn't used to someone swooning over him though, like… how could people not fall in love with Liam? "First of, it's not trouble, and secondly, I couldn't think of a reason why I wouldn't be into you, Li, you're smart and dedicated to what you do, which is pretty attractive, and you're really caring, even for people you hardly know, you picked me up in the middle of the night because I had too many pints and gave me your bloody bed to sleep in and even made me breakfast. And you're funny, even without noticing it, and I like listening when you talk, your voice is really calming, I just feel good when I'm around you, and safe, like, I'd literally tell you things I wouldn't even tell Louis because I know you'd keep quiet about them and genuinely try to help me if I ever needed you, I just… I just like you so much, Liam, even if you lied to me about liking the cupcakes I brought."

"I wasn't lying…" Liam mumbled, his cheeks had gotten pink again and Niall couldn't help but stare for a moment, rubbing his thumb over the back of Liam's hand. "You really think all that?" 

"I wouldn't have said it otherwise, you know me, I wouldn't just make things up to make someone happy, it's how I really feel about you and if it's not enough to convince you then I'll just keep on talking, I don't care." But for some reason, Niall felt that it wouldn't be necessary anymore, he tried to bite his smile back as he watched the older boy sighing once again before finally looking up, studying Niall's face for a while with an undefinable expression, almost causing him to buckle in and interrupt Liam's thoughts.

"If I say yes, then… we're not calling it a relationship yet, we're just trying this for a bit and see how it goes, but you gotta tell me if-"

"So is that a yes?!" Hell, he didn't care about any conditions, Niall just needed this one chance to prove to Liam that this would be the best decision of their lives, he almost jumped at the older boy to hug him and cover his face in kisses, beaming as he waited for an answer, almost crushing Liam's hand.

Instead of answering, Liam rolled his eyes, but there was the hint of a smile that got Niall's tummy turning, and then, he hesitated for a second before doing the most unexpected thing possible, he leaned forward and pecked Niall on the mouth shortly, pulling right away again, moving to get up as he spoke, not even looking at Niall who just stared with wide eyes, not being able to believe this. "I'll go make dinner."

Yeah, that had definitely been a yes.


	6. Chapter 6

Falling asleep that night was the hardest thing Niall had ever tried doing… well, at least in the past few months or something, he wasn't quite sure and also didn't wanna quite think about that right now to be honest, not while lying in bed in Liam's sheets with the older boy's scent stuck in his nose since about an hour now, he didn't even know why he had agreed to this, like, if it would've gone after him, they would've both been lying in this bed right now, but unfortunately, Niall was the only one and it'd most likely stay this way as well.

They hadn't talked about the whole situation again, Liam had seriously walked off to go make dinner while Niall had stayed on the couch, touching his lips for a moment before running after him to pretend and help while all he had really done had been eating before the food had even been halfway cooked.

But still, even if they had silently decided to not bring this up again, for Niall, it was settled, Liam might not want to call it a relationship, but he wouldn't behave any differently as if it was, especially touching wise, even if Liam still didn't immediately relax into it, but what mattered was that he didn't pull away and that he returned it after a while, that's really all the younger boy wanted for the beginning, they'd figure the rest out for sure.

Only thing they hadn't managed to do was sleeping in one bed, mostly because Liam had told Niall he still had work to do but that Niall could have his bed if he wanted to sleep and at the time it had seemed like a good idea because Niall had really been tired, plus he had even gotten another kiss, a little bit more than a peck, leaving Liam with blushed cheeks but a tiny smile that Niall could still see in front of his closed eyes. 

Still, that wasn't good enough to drift off, he turned a few more times, trying to get more comfortable, but it just wouldn't work out, so with a sigh, Niall rolled out of bed, not bothering to turn the lights on or anything, he knew Liam's room well enough by now as to find the door without any further problems. 

Not really knowing what he was gonna do now once he reached the living room, Niall stretched a bit while walking, there was still light so Liam was most likely awake and working, at 1 am, sometimes the younger boy seriously worried about him, like not only the obsessive behaviour if it came to uni and his job, but also the fact that he always seemed to forget to eat and sometimes looked so stressed out and done that Niall wished he could've taken those books and the laptop, thrown them both out of the window and made Liam come take a nap with him, he seemed as if he could need it.

Niall's plan on convincing the older boy to come lie in bed with him got a bit destroyed as he walked into the living room to a sight that caused him to stop in the doorframe for a second, a tiny smile forming on his lips as he stared.

Not only was Liam deep asleep, he had also passed out with his head right on his book, one arm folded underneath his cheek, the other half hanging off the couch, not making this look like a very comfortable position at all. Also, it was quite worrying, to know that he hadn't properly gone to bed though he had obviously been really tired, the only reason why Niall wasn't gonna bring this up tomorrow was because it wasn't any of his business after all, but he'd definitely not just let Liam stay like this either.

Without really thinking this through, Niall just walked over, quietly though, even if he was about to wake Liam anyways, he still wanted to enjoy the sight for a moment as he got down onto his knees where the older boy had his head, not being able to wipe that smile off of his face as he reached out.

Sure, he could do this now while Liam was awake as well, but Niall had never seen the other boy being asleep, so it was kinda tempting to stare while running a hand up his arm, then over his shoulder until he reached his face, slowly dragging a thumb over Liam's stubble on his jaw, over his warm bottom lip, not really thinking as he leaned in to kiss beneath his ear, moving his hand up to brush through the brown hair. "Li… time to wake up."

There was nothing more than a sigh that caused Niall to giggle right into Liam's soft skin, he kept the kisses up, not wanting to stop now that he had started, evenly running his fingers through Liam's hair, slowly though, to not startle him or anything, this was supposed to be a nice wake up.

"Liaaamm…" Whispering into his ear, Niall tried his hardest not to laugh, pressing his lips right there before continuing down Liam's jaw, until he reached his lips, having to turn his head a bit to be able to place a kiss on them as well, feeling the same tingles and butterflies as before, even if the other boy wasn't even awake, maybe it was just the feeling, plus the fact that Niall was allowed to do this, it almost caused his heart to burst with happiness.

"'s the matter…?" Liam's voice was quite deep and raspy after waking up, which was pretty hot to be honest, Niall leaned back a little bit, not too far though, keeping his hand where it was as Liam's eyes slowly fluttered open, he seemed pretty confused as he attempted to prop himself up on his elbow before fully sitting up, staring at Niall in confusion before sighing a bit, half yawning. "Shit… I shouldn't have slept in, I gotta finish this and-"

"Hey, no way you're gonna finish this now, Li, you gotta go to bed." Trying to sound firm, Niall got back to his feet, letting his hand drop unwillingly form running it through Liam's soft hair, instead stretching both his arms out to help the older boy up. "Come on."

Surprised by Niall's words, Liam didn't move for a moment, just staring at the younger boy's face sleepily before rubbing at his eyes, starting to shake his head. "I can't, I really have to-"

"No, you don't, tomorrow is another day, but it's 1 am and you look like you're gonna pass out any second, if you do it now then it probably won't be as good as it would be if you did it tomorrow. Besides, I'm gonna sit here and talk the whole time so you won't be able to concentrate." In this certain situation, Niall felt like it would actually be okay to say something like this, he was just looking out for Liam after all, because he cared about him, besides, everything he had said was true and the older boy knew it because he sighed slightly, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, if you're gonna be such a little bugger about it…" He would be, Niall smiled proudly, making grabby hands towards Liam because he still hadn't taken his hands, also not attempting to. "It's okay, Niall, I can sleep out here and you can have my bed, like we said before."

"If you stay here then I'll stay too, it's your decision." Hell, he wasn't gonna go back there alone, though Niall would never admit it, but he hated sleeping alone at night more than anything, maybe had something to do with his attachment problems, but there had been too many times where he had faked to have fallen asleep in Louis' bed just so he wouldn't have to go over into his own. Besides, this was Liam, and Niall felt his tummy going wild at just the thought of going to sleep together, he knew that Liam wasn't hesitating because he was so turned down by the thought of that, it was his 'this is not a relationship' thing that caused him to hesitate.

"There'll be very little space in my bed though." Perfect.

"It's a double bed, Liam, come on please, I wanna sleep." Pretending to be pouting, Niall immediately smiled again as Liam did grab his hands then while sighing, he wasn't even blushing this time as Niall got onto his tiptoes to kiss his cheek as soon as he was on his feet, maybe he was too tired. "I could make you do anything I wanted to, couldn't I?"

"I wouldn't make any bets on it, Nialler." Still, there was some light flush on his cheeks now as Niall looked at him, smirking as he let go with one hand to hold Liam's other one even tighter, linking their fingers together because they had never properly held hands before and he needed to know how it felt. Like heaven. 

Though it wasn't a very long walk to the bedroom, Liam still had to yawn about fifty times, leaving it up to Niall to turn all the lights off, he even once almost bumped into the wall because of how tired he was, so good thing Niall was almost squishing the older boy's hand, he wasn't sure if he could've caught Liam in case he had fallen seeing as he was a lot bigger and taller.

Once they gotten to the bedroom, Niall hesitated for a moment, not really wanting to let go of Liam's hand, but the other boy was still wearing jeans, so he let him, crawling into the middle of the mattress instead while watching Liam, in almost complete darkness, hearing him swear under his breath once while taking his clothes off. To Niall's surprise though, Liam didn't even bother putting on sweatpants, he just came back in a shirt and boxer shorts, causing Niall's heart to do a few uncomfortable jumps. "I'm so bloody tired…"

Niall swallowed his 'I told you so' down as Liam crawled into bed as well, apparently not shy or anything about barely having any distance between them, well, Niall had moved to the middle of the bed for a reason though. "Can I… is it okay if I lie closer next to you?"

"Sure, I need a pillow anyways, come here…" His voice was quiet, thick with sleep as well, but Niall didn't hesitate, shifting immediately, only now realising that they only had one blanket anyways, they couldn't have even slept on each side of the bed if they had wanted to. 

For some reason, after quite some moving around, bumping into each other and Niall having to try and not choke from how excited he was, it was Liam then who ended up with his head on Niall's arm, a hand on his hip and their legs tangled up as they were both lying on their sides, not really being able to look at each other though, mostly because of the darkness but also because Liam's eyes had already fallen closed again, forcing Niall to whisper. "Goodnight, Li."

"Night, Ni…" It wasn't much more than a sigh, but Liam cuddled up closer to Niall, causing him to smile silently to himself as he went with his instinct, pressing his lips against the older boy's forehead because it was the only place he was able to reach, moving his arm around Liam to keep him close, playing with the soft hair behind his ear, not really expecting a reaction though. "Keep doing that… "

"I will… go to sleep, Liam." Hell, Niall's heart could've bursted right now, he was far too excited as to fall asleep himself yet he enjoyed lying like this more than anything else in the world.

Liam made some sound after that before his breathing got more even, it was so calming to listen to that, especially while being tangled up together in a cocoon of warmth that smelled just as good as Liam did, being able to hold the older boy as close as he felt like, touching and kissing him all he wanted, Liam's hand on his hip where his shirt had slipped up a bit, their chests almost moving against each other because of how close they were, Niall couldn't have thought of a scenario where he had felt so at ease and happy as in this moment. 

He was so in love it was insane.

 

———Liam———

 

It was too warm in bed as Liam heard the alarm of his phone going off, not right next to his head as it usually did though, but as if it came from another room, causing him to groan deeply, not wanting to get up, which was unusual for him, but momentarily having forgotten what had happened last night, he was confused for a second as he got held back while trying to sit up.

"Nooo, stay here…" Right, there were chills all over Liam's body as he realised that he was indeed lying in bed with Niall, the younger boy somehow having ended up behind him, actually having moved his leg over Liam's to cling to him and keep him in bed, his arm draped over the older boy's waist, face pressed into Liam's neck, hot breath hitting his bare skin. As unfamiliar as waking up like this was, the only thing Liam wondered about for a second was how exactly he had ended up as the little spoon.

"I gotta get up though, it's late, Nialler." Not actually trying to move again though, Liam tried to overthink things quickly, he was well aware again of what had happened yesterday, also how Niall had come to wake him up with kisses after he had fallen asleep on the couch and it would've been a lie to say he hadn't enjoyed any of this.

On one hand, Liam was really angry at himself, for having allowed Niall to let him lull in like this, let him convince Liam that it would be a good idea for them to try this whole thing out, NOT a relationship, hopefully Liam had made that clear because it didn't seem like it had gotten through to Niall yet, but then again, he also didn't really know what he had meant by saying that either, he just hadn't wanted to make it so official and put a label on it, if anything went wrong, if Niall decided he couldn't take it, Liam didn't want it to be like a break up or anything, he just… wanted to give it a try, since Niall wouldn't have given up anyways.

Then again, he also just couldn't blame all of this on the younger boy, if Liam hadn't wanted this as well he for sure wouldn't have said yes, but he did want it unfortunately, he got butterflies every time they kissed or Niall touched him, he wanted to constantly pull the blonde boy close and hold him, just screw work and uni and lie in bed with him all day. 

Exactly that was the problem though, whatever they were having here, it changed Liam's way of thinking and he couldn't let that happen, couldn't ask Niall to come and visit him in his office every single day, couldn't let anyone find out who might tell his dad, if they wanted this to work, they'd have to be careful, and yeah, Niall had said he didn't mind, but Liam wasn't quite sure if that wouldn't change over time. He'd have to wait and see, another reason why he hadn't wanted to make this official yet, although feeling Niall pressed up against his back, it seemed to already have gone too far to not call it anything at all.

"'s not late, Liam, I've been awake for half an hour and it's only half past 9, it's saturday, we need to sleep in." Whenever he spoke, or mumbled more like, his lips brushed up against the back of Liam's neck, sending goosebumps over his skin, but he didn't freeze up or anything because of being this close, he did it a lot, though Niall had turned out to be even more physical than in the beginning, Liam was kinda expecting it now.

"Can I at least turn onto my back then? My arm has fallen asleep." There was a huff before Niall loosened his legs and arms and whatnot around Liam, allowing him to turn but not moving just one centimetre off of him, immediately pulling himself in again, arm draped over Liam's stomach now, head in the crook of his shoulder. 

"Better?" Niall almost only sighed his question, warming up Liam's whole side, he wasn't used to waking up like this or having somebody cuddling so close to him because they wanted to, it wasn't uncomfortable or anything, actually, Liam really liked it, though it caused his cheeks to turn hotter as he thought about that, hesitantly putting his arm Niall's shoulders because it seemed quite appropriate… fine, also because he wanted to hold the boy, smiling to himself when Niall snuggled in even tighter. Why was he so cute and affectionate and cuddly, this wasn't making things easier for Liam in any way.

"Yeah, a lot…" There was a content sigh as Liam thought it'd be a good idea to put his other hand on Niall's arm on his stomach, rubbing over it with his thumb, just to try it, he wasn't used to touching someone like this so it felt quite strange to him to even feel the urge to do it in the first place. "Hey, Ni… because of what happened yesterday…"

"You can't change your mind anymore, I won't allow it." Well, that hadn't been Liam's intention, although it still made him smile softly at how quickly Niall said that, he was still surprised about how determined the younger boy had been, and still was, about them trying this, and what he had said about Liam still warmed his heart as well, no one had ever been this much into him as Niall seemed to be, it was kind of a nice feeling.

"I won't, I just wanted to say that…" Hesitating, Liam looked down, almost having Niall's blonde hair right in his face, it definitely was dyed now that he had it so close, contemplating it for a second before deciding that it would make Niall really happy, pressing a kiss on the top of the younger boy's head. "I… I'm really glad I said yes to, you know… to this."

After a moment of silence, already causing Liam to think he had done anything wrong, Niall suddenly started moving in his arms, wiggling around a bit until he was on his stomach, still half on top of Liam though, a bright grin on his face as if this had been the best thing he had ever heard anyone saying to him. Wow, he was even cuter with a sleepy face and messed up hair, hard to believe but true. "Me too, you won't regret it either I promise, I know that we can work this out no matter what you say and I really like you, I… I've never felt this way about anybody before, just thought you should know."

Alright, now that did automatically heat up Liam's cheeks, he wanted to look away somehow, not really being able to though because Niall had moved up a bit, their faces just inches apart now, his arms still loosely around the blonde boy's warm body, heart hammering in his chest, both from being pressed together like this but also because of what had been said, not being able to form a clear thought right now, not while looking into those blue eyes.

Turned out that it was unnecessary for Liam to say anything at all, Niall just continued smiling at him softly, suddenly reaching out with his arm to run his fingers through Liam's hair, just like last night, Liam did remember that, only now, it really caused him to blush. Niall's touches were all gentle, even brushes before he dropped his hand next to Liam's head, leaning in a bit further, voice almost only a whisper now. "Can I…?"

Needing a second to realise what the younger boy was asking, Liam was already nodding slowly without having thought this through or even considering morning breath or whatever, trying not to think about how his stomach turned at just the thought, how badly he wanted this as well, even more now that Niall's breath hit his face because of how little distance there was. "Yeah, you… you don't have to ask…"

Flashing him another grin, Niall leaned in even further, his eyes fluttering closed even before Liam's as their lips brushed together gently, enough for Liam to grip Niall's shirt a little bit tighter, trying to be patient as the younger boy didn't start off as eager as Liam felt like, it was just a slow, very sweet kiss at first. Which, don't get him wrong, was already messing with Liam's head, his mind emptying except for whatever thought he had had about the blonde boy, suppressing a whine as Niall gently nipped on his bottom lip. He was gonna kill Liam or something, there was no way he'd be able to survive this boy, he was too bloody good at all of this, like, it was just kissing, a bit snogging, Liam couldn't even think about what else Niall might be good at without feeling super hot immediately.

Luckily, Niall didn't tease him for too long, sure, Liam could've taken the initiate himself but he kinda liked letting Niall have control for a while, just kissing back slowly, not even noticing how his hand ended up cupping the boy's cheek, completely lost from the moment that their tongues slid against one another, Liam hadn't kissed anybody like this in so long, maybe that's why it felt so intense and so mind blowing. Or maybe that was just Niall, the way he pressed himself even closer all the time, the little sounds that sometimes escaped him that sent goosebumps all over Liam's body or the way that his hands seemed to be everywhere at once, touching, gripping, as if he needed to make sure Liam really was there.

As Niall pulled back a little, Liam would've complained and tried to kiss him some more if he hadn't been so out of breath, not really able to catch it either because the younger boy continued pressing his lips to Liam's face, giving him wet, open mouthed kisses down his jaw, apparently not at all minding the fact that Liam hadn't shaved in a while, then down the side of his neck a bit, immediately causing Liam to tilt his head back with a sigh, not even thinking about it.

For a few moments, Liam was in heaven as Niall gently nipped at his skin, licking a bit, doing nothing at all really yet still almost causing Liam to groan, his hand coming to a rest on the back of Niall's head, buried in his soft hair that he thought he'd never get to touch just a few days ago, breathing a bit heavy, not only from the kiss but also from what the younger boy was doing now, apparently well aware of how to get people squirming underneath him.

It was the moment when Niall started to gently suck on Liam's skin, then a bit harder, that the older boy's eyes flew open as he was struck by a thought, almost immediately trying to push Niall back a little, hand against his shoulder. "Ni…Ni, wait, stop, please…"

"What's wrong?" Niall's head came up immediately, his mouth leaving a wet spot on Liam's throat, staring down at him with a worried expression on his face as Liam tried to catch his breath, his hand cupping the back of Niall's neck now. "Did I do anything wrong? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done anything without-"

"No, it's not… it's not that, just… no marks, please, I…" There were various reasons for that of course, Liam suddenly felt embarrassed about it though Niall immediately started smirking, pecking his mouth shortly, unexpectedly, his hand resting lightly on Liam's chest.

"You know, if you have your suit on for work then people can't really see much skin anyways, if I went lower then we should be fine." Right, Liam should've expected this, he sighed a bit, playing with the hair in the back of Niall's neck, still looking up into his bright face, the dimple showing now as he smiled cheekily, apparently having slightly more in mind.

"No, I… I meant… I meant in general." At this, Niall cocked his head slightly before frowning a bit, causing Liam to wanting to slap himself for wording it so harshly, usually he was good with his words, it's just whenever the younger boy was there, his brain turned to jelly.

"Oh." Was all Niall made then, suddenly looking a bit sad as he bit into his bottom lip, staring at Liam's chin now instead of his eyes, shit. "Sorry, I should've asked if you're into that first, 'm sorry."

"Niall, I… it's not that I don't want to, just…" Hell, Liam really DID want it pretty badly to be honest, he had just felt as if though he had been on cloud nine or something, but Niall apparently didn't believe him, he wouldn't even look up now, seemingly disappointed. 

The problem was, Liam had a hell good of an explanation for turning the boy down, he had never planned on telling him though, but now that he thought about it, he didn't really have much of a choice, he couldn't stand knowing he had been the one to cause this smile to disappear, but also… if they wanted to try this, whether they called it a relationship or not, Liam needed to be honest.

So with a sigh, running his hand down Niall's back slowly and up again, Liam prepared himself for just spitting it out, it's not that it was bad right, knowing Niall, he'd probably even be excited about it. Yet still, Liam refused to look anywhere into the boy's face as he spoke, a little bit breathless still, also slightly because of the finger drawing patterns onto his chest over his shirt. "It's not you, Ni… it's because of the photoshoot."

"Wait, what?" Immediately, like expected, Liam had managed to grasp the boy's full attention, distracting him so much that he even allowed Liam to sit up, going with him though to just stare at him in confusion. "What photoshoot?"

"Umm…" Running a hand through his hair, Liam risked a quick glance at Niall's face, knowing that he'd have to explain it now so he let his hand drop off of the boy's body, looking away again as he moved to get out from under the blanket and out of bed, trying to mumble as quickly as possible in the process. "Sometimes my dad lets me be in the magazine, you know, um… no big deal just… yeah."

The silence was a bit uncomfortable, Liam pulled some sweatpants from his closet, not really knowing why exactly he had decided to go to bed in only shirts and boxer shorts. In the process of dressing himself a bit more appropriately, thinking that Niall was either mad or had decided to ignore it, he suddenly heard a sound from behind him. Giggles. "You're a freaking model, Liam?! And you're only telling me that _now_? Oh my god, _of course_ this is a big deal, holy shit, I gotta tell Louis, how sick is that?!"

Well, that reaction was a lot better than the younger boy getting mad at him, yet his excitement was still rater worrying, Liam turned around slowly to see Niall sitting on the bed, the blanket still over his lap, eyes wide in excitement, still giggling like an idiot. An adorable idiot. "It's not a big deal, Nialler… besides, Louis probably knows, I … I don't do these photoshoots alone and, um-"

"Harry as well?! Holy fucking shit I can't believe this! I mean don't get me wrong you _totally_ look like you can do something like this, but…" Shaking his head in disbelieve while straight staring at Liam, the older boy shifted his weight from one foot to the other, not quite sure what to do now, how he should take this, whether he should say thank you for the compliment because it had caused his tummy to flip, but luckily, Niall made that decision for him. "Shit, my boyfriend is a model."

"Niall, I'm not your boyfr-"

"Anyways. You're a model and you didn't even tell me, I should've done better research when I stalked you on google, damn it." For a moment, Niall seemed really disappointed in himself while Liam felt even more uncomfortable, not really knowing what to do, he was kinda glad thought to know that Niall hadn't known before, but still, his excitement was a bit too big like, he even crawled to the edge of the bed. "So are you like, an underwear model? Because you said I can't give you any love bites lower on your body, does that mean… oh my god, have you ever done a shoot naked?!"

"I haven't done either of those things, Niall, I'm not a REAL model, okay? I have a friend who is, but Harry and me just kinda jump in sometimes, they photoshop us anyways and-"

"Can I come watch?" Niall interrupted, eyes glowing as he crawled out of bed completely, grin so big it looked as if it might split his face apart as he came over, almost jumping up and down, why was this such a big deal to him? "Please, Li? I really wanna see it, I bet you look so hot in photoshoots, holy shit, you already look hot all the time but if they put you in those clothes and do your hair and stuff… can I please come sometime?"

"I… I gotta ask, alright? If it's allowed I mean, I don't… have a lot of say there." First, Liam had wanted to tell him no right away, but then Niall had grabbed his wrist while smiling up at him, sounding so genuine with everything he had said, making Liam want to blush and giggle stupidly at the same time as if he were a schoolgirl or something. But then he hadn't managed to make Niall sad in any way, maybe he really could ask, make up some story about why the blonde boy needed to attend, he even forced himself to a smile, feeling bad already for probably having to tell Niall that he couldn't come. "It's not so interesting though, and I don't really look hot anyways, so…"

"Yes, you do, are you kidding me, Li? You're the most attractive guy I've ever met, I mean, not that that really matters, I would still like you anyways, it's just a bonus. Either way I'm really proud of you too, like, you do so much and so many cool things and you somehow manage to still keep your focus and get everything done, it's very impressing." Letting go of Liam's wrist now, still with that smile on his lips, Niall stepped even closer, causing Liam's breathing to increase slightly as the younger boy got onto his tiptoes to kiss his cheek softly, palms resting on Liam's chest to keep his balance. Gosh, he was so nice and so beautiful up close, it seemed ridiculous that Niall was the one talking about Liam being attractive when he was the one who looked like an angel, not that Liam would've been able to tell him that without dying of embarrassment.

So instead, he licked his lips slightly out of nervousness, hesitating for a moment as he looked down into the boy's blue eyes, lightly grabbing a hold of his small waist then, feeling Niall's hands moving up until he had his arms wrapped around Liam's neck, about to get onto his tiptoes again, but Liam kept him on his feet, leaning down instead with a racing heart, never breaking eye contact until shortly before their lips met for a second time today.

It wasn't a really deep kiss, or long, but it felt like heaven nevertheless, everything they did caused Liam to feel this way to be honest, he pulled back just enough to be able to talk, keeping his eyes closed, his nose bumping against Niall's, their spit slicked lips brushing as he whispered. "Thank you for saying that, Ni…I… it means a lot…"

"You're welcome…" Niall pressed their lips together one more time, holding on tighter as a reaction to Liam pulling him in closer, not being able to help himself, Niall's words had really done something to him, like, barely anyone ever told him that he was doing a good job though he was trying really hard, so even if this was childish, but hearing Niall say it made him feel really proud, plus he had sounded so honest too, as if he really did find this impressive. Now Liam would really have to try and convince whoever so Niall could come watch the photoshoot, even if that would mean he'd behave awkward as hell because he wouldn't wanna mess up in front of the younger boy. "You mind if I use your shower?"

"No, I… of course not, go ahead, there's towels in the cupboard and um… just use whatever you want, okay?" They were still standing too close as for this to come off as a normal conversation, Liam could feel Niall's breath hitting his skin whenever he talked, slowly opening his eyes again, not letting go of the boy's hips though, their faces only inches apart as they looked at each other. Was it normal Liam wanted to kiss him yet again?

"Thanks, Li… you know, I'd ask you to come with me, but you're probably gonna say no, so… if you want to though then the offer is still up." Niall put up the cheekiest grin Liam had ever seen while he himself blushed a more than deep red colour, his fingers digging a little too far into Niall's hips maybe as he tried to look anywhere but into those blue eyes piercing into his. Shit, why did he have to be so open about it, that he _really_ wanted Liam, for whatever weird reason, Niall was so serious about all of this even if he turned it into a joke. "It's okay, Liam, you don't have to answer, I'll be quick."

Happy about not having to say anything because he wouldn't have managed to anyways, Liam just helplessly stood there as Niall pecked his lips softly before letting go of Liam, causing his arms to fall to his sides as the blonde boy walked, of course, not without winking at him over his shoulder. As if he was proud about causing such strong reactions in Liam, knowing him, that probably was exactly the reason for his bright mood, he KNEW that Liam wanted him too, his reaction had given it right away, and there was no denying, because yeah, Niall was attractive and he was cute and funny and honest and any other good characteristic trait Liam could come up with. Yet still, he couldn't just hop in the shower with him, could he? That'd be pretty straight forward, and they weren't even dating after all.

Instead, Liam remained standing in the middle of his room, not knowing what to think or do, or how to even move a muscle, both his lips and neck were tingling from the younger boy's touches, his stomach doing flips at just the thought of what would happen if he really did go to the bathroom now, he hadn't heard a door locking or anything, Niall had been fucking serious about this. 

But he couldn't, no, that wouldn't be right, Liam wasn't that kinda guy, who just went with it without even thinking about the outcome, he had told Niall they wouldn't label it so he wouldn't go take a damn shower with him, naked, after only knowing him for such a short time and let god knows what happen. Not that Liam would've minded, but it would've been too final, as if saying 'yeah, I changed my mind, I actually do wanna be your boyfriend.' which he really would've loved saying, but still, it'd just hurt Niall in the end, both of them actually, Liam had to be responsible here. 

So instead, he forced himself to take a deep breath, trying not to let his thoughts wander as he walked past the bathroom while he heard the shower running, the door wasn't even fully closed, like, it got Liam's cheek heating up again as he noticed, almost falling over his own feet then in an attempt to not get tempted. Like, he wasn't that desperate for it, just…he liked Niall a lot, yet, that sounded better.

In an attempt to keep himself busy, Liam started cleaning the living room because of last night's late study session, again being confronted with the whole situation yet again as he remembered Niall coming to wake him up. Right, he needed to do something else, something that could get his mind off for a while until Niall would come back being all sunshine and butterflies again, easily lulling Liam in as if he had had years of practice.

Liam's new plan was making breakfast, which worked for a while until he noticed that he had automatically been making things he knew Niall would like, not even considering the fact that maybe he should eat a little more healthy again because he had been lacking the last few days, this was really crossing lines now.

Kinda frustrated, Liam almost emptied everything into the dustbin, about to just get dressed and then wait for Niall to drag him to go out and eat somewhere else, it's not that he couldn't have afforded it. That thought never became reality though, because while Liam was in the middle of planning it out and trying not to let these waffles burn, he heard someone walking in the hallways, making a hell lot of noise because that was just who Niall was, probably (or hopefully more like) getting dressed and taking a while before his footsteps came closer. Funny thing was, even before Niall said anything, before he even came into view, Liam was already mindlessly staring at the doorframe, not even noticing his embarrassing behaviour anymore.

"Your shower is great, and it's so big, holy shit, I gotta sleep over more often. Right, and I borrowed your shampoo by the way, now I know why you always smell so good." How could anyone not get completely hot and stupidly giggly at this?

Niall looked really soft and cuddly now after his shower, he had obviously brought another shirt because he wasn't wearing one of Liam's nor the one he had been wearing last night, his hair still seemed damp but it was flat now as he came over with the usual smile on his face, not hesitating as he hugged Liam's middle from the side, lightly kissing his upper arm.

"Are you really making waffles? God, I think I'm in love with you." Almost replying with 'yeah, me too', Liam swallowed it down before somehow automatically wrapping his arm around Niall's shoulders, having the younger boy pressing closer into him immediately, he even put his head against Liam's shoulder, getting his shirt all wet, but seriously, Liam didn't even care.

"Yeah… just for you." It was true, even if Liam tried to pass it off as a joke by forcing himself to laugh, kinda proud now that he knew Niall so well, though that wasn't exactly hard to achieve, it still didn't stop him from squeezing the younger boy a bit, embarrassingly happy about having him cuddled up so tight, the fact that he really wanted to be so close and cuddle all the time was definitely Liam's weak spot, well that and the kisses and pretty much every single touch from the boy.

"You're so sweet to me, Li, like all the time, even when you barely even knew me and even though I'm probably keeping you from doing important work all the time. I'm sorry if I do by the way, just… I love being with you, you know, and also, thank you, for… for being you." Yep, those waffles were definitely gonna burn now, Liam's throat was so tight like, he felt as if his words would come out sounding like croaks as he felt Niall snuggling his head tighter against him, but he couldn't just ignore this, not this time.

"I… I love being with you too, Nialler, in fact…in fact, I might, um… like it more than being with anybody else, kinda… and don't thank me please, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to, you know…" Shit, that had sounded way too stupid, not at all showing how Liam truly felt, but how would he say it, just burst out with it or something? He'd die of embarrassment, silently praying that Niall still understood what big of a deal it was for him to say things like that, that he knew how much he really meant to Liam even if the older boy didn't even realise it himself half the time.

But Niall did apparently, because he kept hugging Liam for a little while without speaking before lifting his head all of a sudden, a soft smile on his lips as he leaned even closer, probably getting on his tiptoes too though Liam was too scared to look at him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "I'll set up the table, okay?"

"You don't have to, though, I can do it later." Mostly, Liam just didn't want him to let go really, or have him stop resting his head on Liam's shoulder even though his shirt was sticking uncomfortably to his skin now from being damp because of Niall's still wet hair.

"No, it's fine, you do enough already. The plates are over there, right?" With that, Niall stepped away while Liam let his arm sink unwillingly, checking for the waffles again which luckily weren't as burned as he had feared, he really didn't want to mess this up right now.

"Yeah… but give one to me, please, I forgot to get one." Right, Liam had completely forgotteneverything else over trying to make breakfast that Niall would like, he was going to lose his mind or something.

Instead of answering, Niall just came over to hand Liam a plate, grinning as their eyes met and almost causing the older boy to let it slip right past his fingers again because of Niall unnecessarily putting a warm palm on his arm. "Here you go."

"Thanks, babe." Oops. "I-I mean…"

"It's fine, Liam, come on." Laughing, maybe a bit too excited about this, Niall just shook his head before walking off, leaving Liam alone with a too red face, why the hell didn't he have control over what he was saying anymore? Why would he call Niall _babe_?! Right, because he had really wanted to and as embarrassing as this was, he'd do it again any time.

With that realisation, Liam tried to not turn around anymore while finishing making breakfast, hearing Niall moving around behind him, 'accidentally' brushing him whenever he walked past, one time reaching up to get glasses, revealing half of his pale stomach in the process and leaving Liam with a more than bright face. He hadn't been staring, promised, it had just been a complete coincidence.

Still, Liam didn't really manage to calm down once they were both sitting down and Niall had dumped so much maple syrup over his waffles that Liam wasn't even sure whether there was still any left in the bottle. "You're sooo good at this, Li, I barely ever eat normal breakfast at my dorm, I really appreciate this."

His mouth was sticky with syrup as well as the area around it and his lips, Liam should've found the way the blonde boy was eating disgusting, barely ever closing his mouth or swallowing before talking, but for some reason, he just kept staring at him, finding himself smiling dumbly over whatever Niall did or said. He really was so thankful for this, for being allowed to stay here and the fact that Liam had made him breakfast, like, Liam wouldn't have minded to have Niall here every single day actually, the boy really did brighten up his mood and thoughts, though he also caused him to blush a lot but it was fine, Liam didn't mind that if he got to have Niall around him in return.

It was one thing that he realised that day, after driving Niall home a few hours later, his lips still tingling from how the other boy had thrown himself at Liam in the car, kissing him deeply, quite long as well, before hopping outside with a bright smile, waving another time before disappearing into the building. Harry had been so bloody right.

Of course, Liam could've told himself that there was another reason for him remaining seated in the car a few more minutes, staring out of the window, at nothing in particular, trying to figure out what the nagging feeling in his chest was before he suddenly knew by what it had been caused. 

He missed Niall. Already, after only 10 minutes, it was too silent without his constant rambling next to Liam, he had also completely forgotten about having to go home and working on stuff, he just sat there, trying hard not to touch his lips half in trance, not exactly sure at which point things had gone into the exact direction that Liam had been trying to avoid, like, it hadn't just randomly happened yesterday when they had kissed for the first time, it had happened slowly. First, it had only been thinking about Niall sometimes, then it had been excitement about seeing him again, then the touches that caused Liam's tummy to do flips, well and now he even started feeling hot over just getting text messages from the boy. 

Liam wasn't gonna be able to talk himself out of this anymore, it was official, and also adding up to that, he probably wasn't gonna manage to fall asleep on his own tonight.


	7. Chapter 7

A month, it didn't take very much longer than that for Liam and Niall to fall into this routine, not a bad one, but it was still kinda scary for Liam, to know that all of this had happened so suddenly, without him even doing anything, and Niall hadn't either actually, it had just… happened.

They hadn't come to closed terms on the topic whether this was a relationship or not, they had actually never talked about it in that way ever again, but they sure as hell behaved as if they were a couple, not as much as Louis and Harry though, who were kinda attached by the hip ever since the night they had basically thrown Niall out of his own dorm, not afraid to show it off either, like, Liam had lost count of the times he had walked into Harry's office to see Louis there, randomly hanging out for no apparent reason.

It gave him a pinch of jealousy to be honest, because after Liam had seriously asked to let Niall watch the photoshoot (for which the younger boy had given him about ten million kisses, still making sure up to this day to tell Liam how awesome of a job he had done and how hot he was), he had gotten questions about it because some people had recognised him from other times when he had come to visit Liam at work. So not wanting to risk anything, Liam had told him he couldn't visit anymore, something Niall had taken easily, not mad or anything, though deep down, Liam knew that the younger boy was probably sad about, because Liam was as well, if it had gone after him, they would've been even more over each other than Louis and Harry were, but unfortunately, Liam's opinion barely ever mattered.

Things like these were the reason why he hadn't wanted to agree to any of this, but it was way past a point where they could've stopped it, plus Niall still insisted that he didn't care and maybe, maybe Liam was just waiting for the blonde boy to get fed up with all of this, with hardly ever sleeping over at Liam's place during the week and not really seeing each other that extremely often either, mostly on weekends where they also didn't go out very much. Not that staying in was bad or anything, Liam just sometimes questioned whether Niall really enjoyed it as much as it seemed, whether he really found that it had been worth giving up on going for drinks on friday nights to come over and cuddle with Liam in bed instead. Hopefully, because Liam couldn't think of anything in the world he enjoyed more.

"Are you done already, Li?" It was the probably the tenth time that Niall asked this question, this time he came over though, unexpectedly wrapping his arms around Liam's neck from behind over the back of the couch, nuzzling his face against the older boy's shoulder.

A few weeks ago, Liam would've blushed like crazy and frozen up, but he had gotten used to this now, sure, sometimes he still turned a bit red and stuff, but he allowed himself to enjoy it now, not too shy about touching Niall back in return either. Or calling him nicknames, he had kinda figured out that this was somehow his thing. "Almost, babe."

"Ugh, you've been doing this for _hours_." Niall groaned a bit, tightening his arms even more as Liam reached out to hold the boy's wrist, a little distracted because he was still quite focused on his laptop, his dad wanted this to be done until tomorrow. "You know, I can't say I don't find it impressing how ambitious you are but you haven't kissed me in what seems like forever."

Rolling his eyes a little, Liam started smiling automatically as he turned his head without answering, not surprised at all when Niall pressed their lips together in under two seconds, whining a bit because they didn't kiss for as long and as deep as Niall had wanted to, making big eyes afterwards while pretending to pout. "Ten minutes, alright? I promise, you can look on the clock."

"Fine." Letting out a huff, he allowed Liam to peck his mouth one more time before the older boy turned his head again, heart bumping a little faster, the smirk still prominent on his face, feeling a bit dizzy both because of the kiss but also because of having Niall so close, his scent surrounding Liam, arms tightening even more as he brushed his thumb over Niall's wrist. 

A situation like this wasn't unusual, Niall would start whining after a while, which was his good right because he was being more patient than Liam could've ever dreamed of, always coming over randomly to kiss him once a while or sometimes cuddling up right into Liam's side, not even speaking or trying to distract him but rather doing something completely else, just wanting to be close. Hell, Liam didn't even know how he had survived before without having Niall around or how he still did those days when the blonde boy wasn't with him. 

Today though, Niall wasn't really into being very patient, he had been, for like an hour and a half, but he didn't let go of Liam anymore now, just remaining like this for a while, watching over his shoulder before suddenly starting to kiss Liam again, on the side of his neck this time though.

Very innocently at first, so Liam tried not to get too distracted, it got harder as Niall moved on, his lips never leaving Liam's skin as he scattered light kisses up to his jaw, kinda rubbing his cheek there for a second which got Liam hot thinking about how many times Niall had told him not to shave because he liked feeling the scratch against his skin, plus, and those were the younger's words and not Liam's, it also made him look a lot older which Niall apparently found really hot for some reason, so yeah, Liam hadn't shaved in a few days for that matter.

Niall didn't stop after doing that though, he just kissed further up Liam's cheek until he reached his ear, softly pressing his lips there as well before causing one billion goosebumps to raise on Liam's arms by whispering. "You know, I'm really proud of you, Li, and I bet you're doing an amazing job right now and it'll turn out better than anybody else could've ever done this."

Hearing this caused Liam's heart to swell, he knew that Niall was kinda biased saying those things to him, but he sounded genuine and he did it all the time. For example a few days ago, when he had asked Liam whether he had already gotten results on this test he had taken at uni and Liam had told him he had gotten an A, not really thinking it would've been worth mentioning or why Niall would care. To his surprise though, Niall's face had brightened up as if he had been the one getting a good grade before he had thrown his arms around Liam's neck, kissing him over excitedly before telling him how much he deserved it and how happy he was for him.

This was new to Liam, someone saying those things to him, telling him they're proud and happy for him if he achieved something, maybe that was the reason for his stupid grin that he just couldn't wipe off of his face, or the warmth spreading in his tummy and then all over his body. It felt good to hear it, especially out of Niall's mouth, and even if maybe he was just saying this to be nice and motivate Liam, it really did work.

"I… I'm not sure about that, but thank you, Ni, it really-"

"Shh, I'm always right, Liam, just trust me on this one." Cutting off his slight protest, Niall giggled right against Liam's skin, kissing behind his ear now before nuzzling his nose there, breathing out hotly. "Sorry for distracting you, you can have another ten minutes, okay? I'll behave."

Sighing a bit, still holding onto Niall's wrist and not really ready to let the boy go, Liam thought about it for a second before simply closing his laptop, pressing his lips onto the back of Niall's hand briefly. He could finish this later. "It's okay, we can go now, I'll do this tomorrow." 

"You sure? You can also finish it now if you want to." But turning his head to look at Niall's now more than excited face, Liam couldn't help but smile softly, not quite sure if he really had a choice.

"No, come on, let's go, I'm gonna be fine doing it another time." Hopefully, but Liam pushed that thought into the back of his head, seeing Niall happy was way better than anything he could've accomplished by finishing his work right now.

"Yay! Can I borrow your hoodie? I almost died coming here." Immediately after letting Liam going and allowing him to get up, Niall had turned all jumpy and hyper again, as if he was really and truly happy about them going grocery shopping on a thursday afternoon. Maybe Liam should've taken this as a hint that they never did anything exciting, but then again, Niall always got like this, even if he was the one who got to choose what they ate for lunch on sunday.

"Of course, but wait… did you come here in just a shirt? Niall, I told you I can pick you up, it's freezing outside!" The younger boy almost looked guilty while Liam mindlessly scolded him, he wouldn't have done something like this usually, but if it was about Niall, things were kinda different.

"Yeah, I know, but I didn't wanna wait for you to get there. Besides, it wasn't that cold anyway." Making some gesture with his hand, Niall smirked as he was about to walk off, probably to Liam's bedroom to go through his closet, he did that a lot for some reason, like, he didn't even bring his own clothes to sleep in anymore, it was weird, but Liam had come to like looking at the younger boy in his own shirts and sweatpants, it was kinda making him feel good.

"You just told me you almost died." Somehow Liam was really worried now, that Niall had gotten sick or something, like, he didn't even want to imagine the younger boy having fever and feeling bad, it wouldn't have fit.

"Yeah… I meant from not seeing you for so long, not from coldness." Winking over his shoulder, Niall giggled as Liam rolled his eyes at him before starting to collect his stuff in an attempt to clear the mess while Niall was gone to create yet a new mess in his bedroom.

It wasn't even true that they hadn't seen each other in so long, Niall had slept over the whole last weekend and they had hung out on tuesday as well and today the younger boy had suddenly decided he could come over since Louis and Harry apparently had nothing else to do other than going on dates. Which was a topic Liam enjoyed maybe even less than the ones regarding his job, because it made everything a million times harder, having _both_ of their best friends so extremely happy with each other, it got Liam both jealous and worried, mostly because he knew how close Louis and Niall were, they probably talked about it alone as well, so what was Niall gonna say then, 'yeah, I watched Liam doing work for 3 hours, how was your 100th date with Harry?', not a very nice thought. 

Apparently though, no one saw any of this as critical as Liam did, Niall never spoke about it and Harry and Louis had automatically assumed that they were dating, even if Liam had tried correcting Harry, a few times actually, he still got asked whether they wanted to go on a double date. Something Niall would hopefully never get to hear because Liam could only imagine the boy's excitement and how impossible it'd be to talk himself out of it then.

As Niall came back into the living room, he almost scared the living hell out of Liam by sneaking up behind him, laughing loudly as he wrapping his arms around the older boy's stomach out of nowhere and causing Liam to flinch terribly, almost dropping everything he had been holding to put away. "Jesus, Niall…"

"Sorry, it was too tempting." Still giggling, Niall didn't let go immediately but rather held on, pressing a kiss onto Liam's shoulder blade then through the fabric of his shirt before slowly letting his arms sink, allowing Liam to turn around to look at him. "I really think you should give this hoodie to me, Liam, it looks too good on me."

For a second, Liam hesitated before answering, taking the sight in for a second before deciding that Niall was probably right, the hoodie was way too big on him, but he looked really cute in it, plus for some reason, the idea about having Niall doing stuff while having _Liam's_ clothes on was doing things to him that caused him to nod mindlessly, still focused on the way Niall was running his fingers through his blonde hair, trying to sort it out. "Yeah, you can keep it if you want, it really does look good on you."

"Wait, what?" Niall seemed seriously surprised now, as if he knew that the hoodie had cost like 60 bucks, but it was probably only because he had been joking and Liam had just embarrassed himself by taking it too seriously, being too busy thinking about swooping Niall up in his arms and never letting go again. Right, he'd just pretend to be putting his books away, with his back towards the other boy preferably. "I was just kidding, Li, I'd rather much wear it after you had it on because then it still smells like you, you know. Unless you wanna give me your cologne too so I can recreate it."

Obviously, it was yet another joke because Niall laughed again, just following Liam around now while the older boy hoped he wasn't too blushed, trying to think of something smart to say but he just couldn't come up with anything. It's just, how fucking adorable could someone actually be? "Niall…"

"What?" The younger boy cocked his head in confusion as Liam finally stopped to look at him after he had his hands free, sighing slightly as he stared at Niall, trying to figure out how exactly he had gotten this lucky.

"Come here." Not wasting a lot of thought on it, he just pulled Niall right into his arms, smiling because of how little time it took the younger boy to adjust and hug Liam's waist tightly, burying his face against his shoulder just like he always did, giving him a warm feeling, as if all worries had just gotten a little less unbearable. "You're so cute…"

"I know, Liam, I know." Chuckling, Niall tightened his arms even more, he was really warm against Liam, even through three layers of clothes, plus he smelled like heaven as the older boy buried his face in the blonde hair, trying not to breathe in too obviously. "… you really think that though?" 

Niall's voice had gotten a bit quieter, more serious, as if he was seriously surprised by Liam's words. Weird but true, whenever Niall was the one who got unsure, Liam felt himself getting a bit braver with what he said or did, it's like, he was so used to the blonde boy being confident and loud, he immediately jumped into a protective mode, trying whatever was possible to make Niall happy again. "How can someone not think that, Nialler?"

"I don't know… sometimes I do say a lot of shit, I mean… but I'm glad if you think that, because your opinion is pretty much the only one I care about anyways." See? He didn't even know how NOT to be adorable. "You're really cute too, by the way, just so we're clear. Especially when you're asleep."

"Thanks, Ni…" It wasn't exactly something new to hear that, Niall had told him a few times already, that he liked to watch Liam sleep and the older boy couldn't even get mad or anything because he was pretty fascinated doing it the other way around as well. Still, he had to clear his throat a little bit, squeezing Niall tightly before pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "Anyways, let's go before the store closes, alright?"

"It's a 24 hours store, Liam." Well that was very true, before Liam could defend himself though, Niall pulled back a bit, his hands still on Liam's hip as he smiled, getting onto his tiptoes to catch Liam's lips in a warm and deep kiss, one that lasted longer than maybe appropriate for the current situation and left both of them with a bit of a breathing problem and swollen lips, but Liam wouldn't have had it any other way anymore, he loved the fact that Niall always went for random make out sessions rather than just pecks and almost broke Liam's bones rather than giving him side way hugs. Well, if he was being honest, Liam just loved everything the boy did in general, no matter what it was, and maybe he should've questioned his obvious obsession with someone who he had never even planned to text back to, but how could he have done that when he had never felt this happy about seeing his phone lightning up with a new message?

 

—————

 

Going to public places with Niall was maybe the hardest part of all of this, mainly because as soon as they'd get out of the car, Niall would just walk straight around it and intertwine his fingers with Liam's as if was the most normal thing in the world.

It's something Liam had never done, showing someone this much affection in public, he had tried to keep it at a low, just in case anyone saw them, but it was so hard to say no to a pouting face and 'But I want everyone to see that you're here with me', so yeah, it wasn't that Liam didn't enjoy it, just… he was being overly paranoid, it wasn't as if his dad sent spies after him or anything, actually, he had been ignoring Liam for weeks now so maybe he could hold Niall's hand without fear today and not throw nervous glances over his shoulder after the boy would randomly kiss him in the middle of the store, he loved doing that for some reason.

It wasn't the same supermarket they had met in, that'd just bring up awkward memories, plus it was further away from Liam than this one, but he still couldn't help thinking about that incident, months ago now, whenever he went to buy groceries. "I can push the cart, I'm really good at that, better than at deciding what food to buy, you don't wanna trust me with that."

"I kinda already figured that out, Nialler." A bit sad when Niall pulled his warm hand out of Liam's, that somehow seemed to fit perfectly there, smaller than his and also softer, Liam watched the younger boy getting a shopping cart, thinking of their previous shopping trip a week ago where Niall had suggested they buy cat food just to see what it tasted like. Yeah, maybe he was really off better just pushing that cart after Liam. "Be careful not to, uh, bump into anything. Or into me."

"I got this, Liam, calm down, I'm not five years old, I just… oh, I'm really sorry, Sir." While talking, busy rolling his eyes at Liam while entering the store, Niall had actually managed to bump into a very serious looking man who just threw an annoyed glance at the blonde, then at Liam, because the older boy had mindlessly started laughing, immediately feeling guilty. That's what Niall's presence did to him, it turned him rude and caused him to burst out with things he had never planned on saying, almost as if he was trying to follow Harry's 'you gotta loosen up, man'. "Shush, Li, that's not funny."

"It's a little bit funny, it's why I said, be careful, because-"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it, god." Rolling his eyes, Niall very obviously only pretended to be mad so Liam bit into his bottom lip to not start laughing yet again, following after the boy, keeping a kind of security distance though. "So what do we need?"

Kinda funny that Niall said _we_ when actually Liam was the one buying groceries for his apartment, but then again, the younger boy wasn't shy to ask whether he could go to his fridge so there was that. "Well, just main things mostly, unless you have any special requests, we can buy those too."

"Can we get ice cream? You never have any." There was a good reason for that, but Liam just nodded to see Niall's face brightening up, suddenly a lot more motivated to push that cart, almost bumping into a shelf this time. "And I think we should get hot chocolate too, you know, caffeine's really bad for you anyways."

Nodding again before Liam could tell Niall that hot chocolate wasn't exactly healthy, he had to step in front of the younger boy now to decide between two kinds of cereals, protectively keeping his hand on the cart when Niall moved way too close without an intention of stopping apparently. Maybe he wasn't that good at it after all. "Just get anything you want, alright?"

"Thank you, Li, but it's okay, just those two things… well, and maybe… you know what would be sooo great? If we made cookies, we should totally do that, and it's Christmas soon as well, which reminds me, I forgot to open my Advent Calendar today, and I know I said it a million times but thanks again for getting me that one by the way, it's way better than the one I usually get." His rambles went on as usual, Liam was only listening with one ear, not because he was rude but because he was busy trying to think of what else he needed to buy, sometimes agreeing with Niall on certain things though, letting him collect ingredients for cookies on the way though he had no idea how to make them, but if Niall wanted to, they probably would end up trying anyways. Liam was so whipped. "Right, there's something I wanted to tell you… well, ask you more like."

"Um, what is it?" They were in a different section now, Liam was staring at the shelf thinking about who on earth needed so many pasta options and Niall hadn't gotten better at controlling the cart. Which maybe had something to do with the fact that he was leaning on it with his elbows, more playing around than actually being concerned for anyone's safety in here, it was kinda cute, but it also hurt Liam's hip by now.

"So, you know… my parents called, a few days ago already, I mean they call me a lot, but anyways. We talked and somehow the situation led to it, so I told them about you, you know." Immediately, Niall had managed to grasp Liam's full attention for once, he looked over to see the younger boy not being half as nervous as he himself felt like all of a sudden. 

"Oh… what did you tell them?" A little concerned now, Liam slowly put the items he had been holding into the cart, not looking away from Niall's face though as anxiously waited for an answer while the younger just shrugged, as if this wasn't a big deal.

"My mum asked if I have met some nice people, but it was clear she meant a little bit more than just new friends, you know, so since I know you don't wanna call this anything I told her I got someone who I really like and that we hang out a lot and that I'm working on it. Which is true, isn't it? I mean you obviously know how I feel about you already though, but… I didn't know how else to describe it." Right, that almost caused Liam to sigh, he felt really bad now, that Niall almost had to make up lies because Liam was too much of an asshole as to finally agree to this, let all of it happen, but then again, he'd feel even more like an asshole if he risked hurting Niall like that, in case things went wrong. 

"What'd she say?" Trying to breathe normally again and continue as if this wasn't getting him worried as fuck, Liam looked away, walking down the aisle while Niall followed, slower this time luckily.

"She said she's happy for me and then she gave me the usual mum talk, y'know." No, Liam didn't know because he and his mum had never been close at all, but he forced a short laugh anyways, distracting himself with drinking options now while Niall kept on talking normally. Maybe he shouldn't get diet coke today. "Anyways, that leads me to what I wanted to ask you… so, my mum was all like 'oh, I wish I could meet him, he sounds really nice' and I told her that you really ARE nice, well and we kept on talking and I… I was just wondering… how do you normally celebrate Christmas, Li?"

"Christmas?" A little confused by that sudden change of topic, Liam shrugged first of all, throwing a look at Niall who was still all calm, smiling a bit while playing with the strings of Liam's hoodie that he had on. "Usually I'm at my parents' house because they always throw these huge parties with tons of people there who all think they're something special, it's pretty boring… and I have to wear a suit as well and I barely talk to anyone the whole night, so… one time I invited Harry because his parents always go on holiday for Christmas and he barely ever wants to come along, it was still boring though. Why?"

That was a lot more than Liam would've told anyone else, but Niall somehow got him more talkative as well, because he genuinely seemed to care about these things. "Just asking… you ever thought about skipping that party? If it's boring I mean, would your parents be mad if you didn't come?"

Thinking about this for a minute, Liam decided that they probably wouldn't care, or even notice for that matter, sad but true, he barely talked to them anyways whenever he was there. On the other hand though, that was still less pathetic than sitting alone at home, wasn't it? "No, they wouldn't be mad, just… what else am I supposed to do on Christmas?"

"Yeah…" Somehow it seemed as if Niall was just pretending to consider this, so Liam cleared his throat, deciding to carry on shopping, trying not to misinterpret this conversation or get too confused about it. Which turned out to be pretty unnecessary anyways, because after a few minutes of them not speaking, Niall made it more than clear what his intentions had been. "You know… you could for example… come home with me and meet my family and we celebrate together, it'd be great, like, Louis' family always comes over as well and my mum makes lots of food, I love it. And I bet you'd love it too, but it's just an idea, y'know… since my parents asked to meet you and stuff…well, and Louis said he'd bring Harry, so I thought… maybe you wanted to come as well… I want you to."

Liam had almost dropped a whole pack of milk during that, his eyes widening as he stared at Niall before trying to hide his surprise and maybe close his mouth again from having dropped open at this offer. Niall wanted him to come home with him? On Christmas?! And what the hell, why had Harry never told him that he was going as well?! "I, um… I don't know, it's… I mean I'd love to spend Christmas with you, just… I don't wanna, like… interrupt or anything, I mean, it's a family thing after all…" 

"You wouldn't interrupt, really, lots of people will come, hell, Louis has six siblings, it'll be great, and Harry already said yes as well." Apparently that was supposed to convince Liam, but what really made him think was the big eyes Niall made at him before simply letting go of the cart to walk around it towards Liam, wrapping his hands around the older boy's since he had given up on comparing stuff to buy anyways. "Please? I promise it doesn't mean that I'm gonna start thinking that we're like, dating or whatever, I mean, I wouldn't mind, but I won't tell anyone that we are and-"

"Niall-"

"-and just think about it, please? Promise me you will?" There was a part in Liam that wanted to just say yes right at this second, but now that Niall had mentioned it, this would look a lot as if they were dating, and well, pretty much everything they did made them appear like a couple, but Liam wasn't too keen on getting anymore people involved, Niall's whole family for example, like… what would they think? 

Still, because of Niall squeezing his fingers gently, standing way too close while smiling right into his face, Liam couldn't express his worries, or even think about saying no, because how would he explain that? Right, he couldn't and it's not that he didn't want to or anything, but… what in god's name would he get himself into again with this? "I… I'd really like to come, you know, just… only if it's really okay and you have to ask your parents first, okay? And-"

"So it's a yes?!" How could it not be, having Niall's face brightening up like the sun right in front of Liam, he even made a tiny jump that caused Liam to return the smile unwillingly.

"I guess it is." Liam had no time to even think about whether he'd regret this once he was alone or not, because Niall immediately let go of his hands to wrap his arms around Liam's neck, as tightly as somehow possible, almost causing him to bump into the shelf behind him if he hadn't automatically grabbed the boy's hips, not even embarrassed about other people seeing them like this.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! You're not gonna regret this, I promise, it'll be so great and my family will love you and Louis and Harry will be there too it'll be so much fun, I can't wait!" Despite the fact that Niall was almost yelling into Liam's ear out of excitement, he couldn't help but chuckle, kissing the side of the boy's head before hugging back tightly, a slightly weird feeling in his stomach for making such big decisions randomly in a store while grocery shopping, but somehow he was happy about having said yes as well, anything that made Niall smile was a good enough reason for Liam to go with it really.

"You don't have to thank me, Ni, I really am looking forward to spending time with you too, you know." It'd be different to be together for so many days in a row, but not off putting or anything, just different.

"Me too. You don't have to work for a few days, right? I can show you my home town, it's really pretty when there's snow, you know, and… right I gotta tell my mum she has to put away all of my dirty underwear before I let you inside my room." Not having let go in the slightest up to know, Liam was rocking them slightly, almost having to laugh at this, but also because Niall sounded as if he had already planned all of this out, like into the smallest detail, it was so sweet, the fact that he really wanted Liam to come and spend so much time with him.

"It wouldn't be any different than walking into your dorm though." Not really, Niall usually at least collected everything off of the floor and threw it onto his chair, but Liam had just been joking anyways, chuckling as the younger boy pulled back at this, making pouty lips even if it was clear that he was trying extremely hard to hold his grin back. "I was just kidding, babe, I'm sorry."

"No, now I'm really mad at you, it's too late for apologies, Liam." Despite saying that, he didn't let go, fingers still playing with the hair in the back of Liam's neck, cheeks twitching because of how hard he was trying not to laugh, how could a person make Liam feeling so incredibly good and cause his knees to go weak by simply looking at him in a certain way?

"Really? I got something that might change your mind." Feelings slightly light headed and silly from what had just happened, Liam barely considered the place they were in or that he had never been the one to do something like this in public before or acted so cheeky, maybe it was the look on Niall's face, or the fact that the excitement had kinda infected him, but just as Niall was about to open his mouth to maybe ask what Liam was talking about, the older boy simply pressed his on top, fingers digging into Niall's sides as he kissed him deeply, using the chance that the blonde's lips had already been parted.

A noise of surprise escaped Niall before he returned the kiss, maybe a bit too over eager, but still letting Liam have the upper hand this time, because as inappropriate as this was, in the middle of an aisle in the supermarket, the older boy couldn't hold back, even if he had wanted to.

Niall tasted so good and familiar, his tongue meeting Liam's still sending sparks down his spine every single time, it was incredible and Liam had no idea how he'd ever stop kissing Niall, or get tired of the noises the younger boy made whenever he gently nipped on his bottom lip, or the way their breath mixed whenever they shortly pulled away just so that their swollen lips could meet again. The answer was never, there was no way Liam could have ever pulled away from Niall if he had had a choice, suddenly being overwhelmed by is feelings for the younger boy, also surprised by how excited he really was about the whole Christmas thing, by how much he wanted all of this, just as much as Niall did.

The one and only reason why they stopped snogging was because someone cleared their throat very loudly next to them and Niall broke away giggling, leaving Liam no choice but to join as they made space for the woman who was shaking her head at them for blocking off an entire section, still holding onto each other though. "Oops."

"Yeah, oops…" Liam agreed, not being able to draw his eyes away from Niall's face now, he was so bloody gorgeous, how had he deserved this boy? "Sorry for, um… catching you off guard."

"Jesus, don't apologise for something like this, that was really hot. I liked it, we should do that more often." Winking, Niall licked his lips, his arm around Liam's waist now as he grinned up at him, cheeks pink and eyes big and shiny, leaving Liam no option but to lean down and gently press a kiss to the boy's temple, trying to quietly catch his breath. "Save some for home, Li."

But of course, Niall was beaming now and Liam wasn't even sure if he wanted to know what was going on inside his mind as he shook his head at the blonde boy, smirking as he squeezed his shoulders, still not able to look away. "Someone's got a bit of a dirty mind, huh? And that in the middle of the store, I gotta say I'm shocked, Niall."

"You know you love it, Liam, don't deny it." And just like that, Niall pecked his lips again before simply letting go and slipping out from under Liam's arm to go for the shopping cart again as if nothing had even happened. "Come on, we got some shopping to do and I really don't wanna forget about the ice cream."

For a moment, Liam stood there watching the Niall's back, still with a smile on his lips as he didn't move, shaking his head slowly, more at himself though than anything else, not being able to believe that he had managed to fall so hard for this silly, cute, gorgeous boy after promising himself he wouldn't make any serious commitments for a while or grow so attached to anybody again and get distracted. Seemed like that had gone a bit terribly wrong.

 

—————

 

"I'm so glad I made you buy whipped cream as well." Liam was watching kinda critically, sitting on the counter as Niall stopped for a second before shrugging to himself and dumping another load of whipped cream over his bowl of ice cream, two flavours, because Liam had told him it was completely fine to get whatever he wanted to.

Right now though, he kinda regretted that decision a little bit, mostly because after Niall had helped unpacking stuff over motivated, he had somehow convinced Liam to eat ice cream with him, which he really shouldn't have, though he didn't have a shoot in the near future, but then Niall had told him that he didn't even have to watch his figure anyways, giving him so many kisses that Liam finally obeyed. So now he wouldn't only eat that but also half a bottle of whipped cream apparently, because Niall had told him he was a pro at doing this. "Ni, I think this is actually gonna spill over the bowl, you know, you can always get more once you're finished, but…" 

"But it's so good, Liam." Still, Niall sighed at this, finally putting the bottle down before licking at his fingertips, probably without any intentions yet Liam still had to look away, feeling slightly creepy for getting hot because of just this. "Okay, well, I guess that'll do, you'll love it, I promise, especially since you haven't had ice cream in so long. Which is not exactly normal if you ask me, but that's gonna make this whole experience even better."

"I rather not eat sweets and skip gym a few times in return…" Liam mumbled, jumping down from the counter now, watching for a second as Niall struggled to pick up the two overfilled bowls at the same time without getting his thumbs inside. "You want me to take that?"

"No, I got it, just… go ahead, okay?" Hesitating because the blonde boy looked as if he might drop everything, Liam followed Niall's request, a little unsure though because he didn't really feel like wiping the floor tonight, very relieved to see that Niall's smile was back as he threw a look over his shoulder to check. "I'm fine, Li, just sit down."

So that's exactly what Liam did, in the middle of the couch to leave enough space for the younger boy, who, of course, came to sit right next to him though (actually almost on top), sitting on his legs, sideways, so that he could look at Liam probably, handing one bowl over. "Thanks, Ni."

"You're welcome. But don't thank me yet, okay, you gotta try it first, go on." Apparently, having Liam eating his creation was more essential for Niall to experience than eating himself, so just because he was smiling so sweetly and acting so excited, Liam rolled his eyes with a smirk, hoping that he wasn't gonna get a sugar flash from the amount of ice cream he had on his spoon. There was literally nothing he wouldn't do to make Niall happy. "How's it taste? Good, right?"

Instead of answering, Liam nodded and gave a thumbs up with his free hand, causing Niall to grin widely before he filled his own mouth, happily watching Liam eating some more, because damn, it really did taste good and he hadn't had ice cream in ages, especially not like this. "You didn't promise me too much, Ni, now I'm just scared I will never be able to spend enough hours in the gym to make up for it."

Niall rolled his eyes though Liam had been completely serious, kinda worried now that he saw how fast Niall was eating, hardly ever bothering to even swallow before talking. "You don't need to go to the gym all the time, Liam, you look fine, trust me. Like, at your photoshoot, you looked way better than anybody else there and I'm not just saying this because we are, you know, but because it's true. And you know your friend you introduced me to there, Zayn? He agreed with me on that, although… he kinda almost choked on laughter afterwards, so I'm not sure how to interpret that."

Immediately having forgotten about what he was eating, Liam was just staring at Niall with wide eyes now, he had never heard that story before, like yeah, he knew he had introduced Zayn and Niall obviously, mostly because he had asked Zayn to keep an eye on the younger boy while he had been busy since Harry hadn't been there, but he had never heard about this conversation they apparently had had. "Wait, you told Zayn you think I'm the best looking in a room full of models?"

"Well, it's true." Shrugging, the blonde boy continued eating, already half of his bowl gone as Liam tried not to blush over how embarrassing this was, like, at least it explained Zayn's text message he had gotten afterwards, saying something along the lines 'didn't know we're allowed to bring groupies ;)', Liam had just done it off as weird, thankful now that he hadn't known back then what he did now because that would've caused him to blush like mad.

"I'm glad Zayn isn't someone to keep bringing things up to tease me… please never say that to Harry." Because he would've literally never allowed Liam to live it down, and Niall may have rolled his eyes at this, but it was true, Liam knew that he was by far not that good looking as Niall made him out to be, even if it got him quite excited to hear the younger boy saying such things, he really appreciated it, but he also knew that it wasn't the truth. 

"Well, but that's just my opinion, Liam, and anyways, all I wanted to say is you should be allowed to eat as much ice cream as you want to." Speaking of which, Niall put his empty bowl on the coffee table now, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand before settling for watching Liam eating his, he still had two third left, not quite sure whether he was just really slow or whether Niall had been way too fast. "… on the other hand though, I'd understand if you can't eat that much and finish the whole bowl, you gotta get used to it first."

Liam almost spit a mouthful of chocolate ice cream over Niall's lap from having to hold back laughter, the other boy was so predictable and so damn cute, it shouldn't have been allowed. Instead of ruining Niall's clothes, Liam swallowed before smirking, very well aware of what Niall had been trying to tell him indirectly, like, he even pretended to be all serious now though it was more than obvious how his eyes followed Liam's spoon. "You can just go and get yourself some more, you know, you can eat both containers if you want to."

"No, I'm fine, Li, that's not what I meant, but thank you." There had been a bit of hesitation, then Niall looked down, clearing his throat a little before smiling as if nothing was going on while Liam bit into the inside of his cheek so he wouldn't have to laugh, this was too funny.

Before Niall could come up with a new topic, Liam barely spent a thought on it before getting another spoonful, not bringing it to his own mouth but to Niall's instead. "Here, open up, babe."

First, Niall's face lit up incredibly once he realised what Liam's intention was, but as he realised his mistake, he quickly calmed down again, almost sounding honest as he shrugged, almost. "I… I'm really full though. But if you don't want all of it…"

And of course, he did open his mouth then and let Liam feed him, causing the older boy to grin, no way could anyone be this adorable and dorky, yet he had the proof right in front of him, so close now that their legs were touching again even if Niall was still sitting sideways. "Well, I'm pretty full too, but I don't wanna waste all of this, so I think we should share it instead of throwing it away, what do you think?"

"Yeah, I definitely think that's a good idea, I mean, at least then both of us will feel sick, right?" Of course Niall knew what was going on, but he just went with it, probably just really excited because he got to eat some more ice cream without having to get up and Liam was excited too because he somehow liked feeding Niall, as weird as that sounded, but then again, the other boy couldn't have been too disgusted by it either seeing as his own spoon was right on the table next to him.

"That's definitely something to strive for." Liam joked, chuckling a bit over how ridiculous they were, like, he would've never been like this around anybody else, so careless and talking so easily about random stuff, that maybe was the best thing about having Niall around, besides the cuddles and kisses and the fact in general that Liam loved having him there, but it felt as if being with the younger boy somehow made Liam's life easier, somehow made him act more like he would've if things hadn't always been so serious for him, it was really nice, to let go for a bit.

They continued eating like this for a while, talking about random stuff, until Niall insisted he should hold the bowl instead because Liam's hand must've been freezing off, which wasn't true but the brunette didn't complain, somehow not even surprised to seeing all of this going wrong the second Niall tried feeding him half melted chocolate ice cream with an unsteady arm. "… and then I told him that I… oh shoot! I'm sorry, Li, crap."

A little sad over never being able to hear the end of this story, Liam tried to do it off by laughing, he was wearing a grey shirt and it wasn't even that big of a spot anyways. "It's fine, don't worry, I'll just wash it later."

"No, you can't wash it later or it'll stay there, trust me. Wait here, I'll be right back, I know how to get this out!" Before Liam could protest or even realise what was going on, Niall had placed the almost empty bowl on the coffee table before already being up on his feet.

"Niall, it's fine, really." Which was unnecessary, because the blonde had already half run off towards the kitchen to do whatever, Liam already said goodbye to his shirt in silence, not really trusting whatever idea Niall had in mind. 

There were some noises coming from the other room that got Liam slightly worried while he tried not to touch the spot on his shirt though it was very tempting, he knew it'd just mess it up even more, even if Niall was probably gonna do that in a few seconds anyways, not that Liam was mad or anything, he actually found this quite funny, stomach still full of butterflies from what they had been doing for the past few minutes. Sitting with Niall and just talking about nothing at all was nicer than Liam would've ever thought was possible.

As the younger boy came back, he had a proud smile on his face, holding a wet kitchen towel and a glass of what appeared to be water, falling back into his space right next to Liam. "So, that's hot water and I made the towel wet already, if we rub over it right now then I'm sure it'll come out, put your hands away."

"You sure this is gonna work?" Liam hesitantly obeyed, more unsure about the fact that Niall wanted to rub a towel over his chest, with his shirt in between of course, but still.

"It will, trust me." Then, with further do, Niall just started, having dumped the towel into a bit too much water maybe because it was both unpleasantly hot but also really wet, creating a big, damp spot on Liam's shirt. "Right, I didn't consider this, but wait for a second, I think it's working."

"I sure hope it is…" Because Liam was probably gonna have a burn there afterwards, but he didn't say anything, just watching Niall's concentrated face, the way his tongue was poking out as he rubbed the spot over and over again for like a minute before his face suddenly lit up, sitting back a bit.

"Ha! Look, I did it!" Just because he was so proud, Liam tore his eyes away from Niall, looking down at himself to notice with surprise that the younger boy had spoken the the truth and that his worries had been unnecessary. The chocolate really was gone, only now it looked like Liam had spilled a whole glass of water all over himself, a unpleasantly hot glass of water.

"You did, Ni, thank you. I should probably take this off though, it's really wet." Really, Liam was thinking about nothing at all as he threw a smile at the younger boy before simply taking his shirt off, feeling a bit cold now except for the part of his skin that had been touched by the water, being able to examine his shirt a little better this way though. "Maybe you should make a business out of this, Nialler, you really did a good job with this."

For some reason though, there wasn't an immediate answer or a chuckle like Liam would've expected, so he looked over, the smile fading a bit as he stared at Niall, who was just loosely holding the towel and glass now, eyes focused on nothing else but Liam's bare upper body. Oh… "Y-Yeah, I… I should maybe, um…" 

It was one of the first times that Niall seemed to be at a loss of words, that he stuttered as he did try to speak up, quickly looking into Liam's eyes as he noticed the other's stare, pale cheeks turning red at being caught staring. Somehow this caused Liam to feel embarrassed as well, he was twisting his shirt in his hands now, not sure how to react to this, he had never been shirtless in front of Niall, or vice versa, he hadn't considered the boy to react like this. "Um… I should probably… go and put something else on."

Right, that was probably the best idea to get out of this situation, it's just, as Liam moved to awkwardly get up, he hadn't exactly expected to feeling a hand around his wrist, holding him back. "No, wait."

Apparently Niall had acted without thinking because he seemed quite embarrassed as Liam stared at him in confusion, biting his bottom lip hard before placing the towel and glass on the coffee table next to their empty bowls, not letting go of Liam's wrist though. "Niall?"

"I… I just…" Niall was staring a hole into his lap, refusing to look up, all he did was rub his thumb over the inside of Liam's wrist before slowly moving it up the older's arm, just his slightly shaky fingertips brushing the skin, enough to cause goose bumps to rise. "You… you're really beautiful, you know…" 

It was then that Liam's words got stuck in his throat, Niall had just been whispering, still not looking up but rather following the movements of his hand with his eyes while the older boy's brain just turned off, his mind empty, no idea what to think of this, or worse, what to say or do, so he just sat there, not moving, heart bumping way too fast as he watched Niall's face, how concentrated he seemed to be about not doing anything wrong now. 

But he couldn't have, because Liam was frozen already, letting Niall stroke his collar bone briefly before moving his hand down again, gently, as if he couldn't believe he was allowed to touch Liam, letting his warm palm come to a rest right above his heart, pressing a bit firmer than before. 

Still, Niall wasn't looking up, he was just sitting there for a moment, staring at where his own hand was before leaning forward all of a sudden to press his lips against Liam's bare shoulder, leaving them there for a second or a two. It felt as if though the boy was burning his skin with the touch of his mouth, but it was a good kinda burn, also the one on his chest, if Liam hadn't felt unable to move, he would've put his hand right on top of Niall's, to show him that it was okay, that he could touch him if he wanted to because it felt good.

Instead, Liam just kept watching silently, trying to find some words to say, anything at all, but his attempts quickly got destroyed as Niall blinked up at him with big, blue eyes, detaching his lips from Liam's shoulder now to lift his head again, moving closer instead of leaning back, leaving his hand right where it was, probably more than aware of how much Liam's heartbeat had increased.

"Liam…" It wasn't more than a mumble really, though it was more than quiet except for their breaths going a bit uneven, Liam almost didn't catch it, thinking he could hear ringing in his ears as Niall got even closer, tilting his head up for a kiss, eyes fluttering closed seconds before their lips met briefly, noses bumping against each other gently as they more kind of breathed against one another than really kissed.

Still, it was so intimidate, plus Niall's palm still on his bare chest, that Liam felt his stomach doing flips again, it felt different this time, like, from any time that they had kissed before, this was something completely different and they both knew it, which maybe explained the careful approach, or maybe it was just Liam still not fully being able to comprehend what was going on and Niall being unsure about whether what he was doing was alright and welcome. It was, by the way, but Liam didn't know how to fully express that, his whole mind was going crazy because of this hand on his chest.

It was when Niall carefully started moving his hand down a bit, brushing Liam's nipple with his thumb, that he started applying a bit more pressure as well, somehow automatically causing Liam to open his mouth and give the younger boy access, something in his mind just making click then as he moved his arm, holding Niall's small waist after mindlessly dropping the shirt he had still been holding onto the floor, kissing a lot deeper than before.

Maybe they could blame it on the awkward position they were in, not really appropriate for kissing like this, but it probably was because Niall let out a pretty needy whine under the hard strokes of Liam's tongue, palm stroking up his chest again as he moved, on top of Liam this time, straddling his lap without even having to break away or struggle. As if they did things like that all the time.

Which was false because they had never ever gone this far, they probably also wouldn't have if Liam would have actually still had his brain turned on, but he hadn't ever since Niall had been staring at his bare upper body as if he wanted to eat him or something.

Having Niall basically sitting on top of him changed the whole thing, though Liam barely felt the boy's weight, it was a lot easier to kiss him now, hold onto his hips with both hands as Niall moved his into the back of Liam's neck, pulling his hair a bit too eagerly. 

"Li, I…" As they broke away for air for a second, chests heaving and Niall's warm breath hitting Liam's spit slicked lips, the younger boy barely only whispered, making some sound that Liam interpreted as positive as he mindlessly moved both his hands underneath Niall's shirt, not thinking as he slowly stroked his bare sides, somehow wanting the younger boy's shirt off as well.

"What…?" Liam whispered back, eyes still closed as he felt Niall pressing their foreheads together, moving even closer so that their chests were almost pressed up against each other, rocking his hips a bit in a way that had Liam catching his breath. Yeah, that was exactly why they shouldn't have been doing this.

"I… is this… is this okay?" Not exactly sure what Niall was asking about, Liam didn't even take a second to consider what he was agreeing to as he nodded, feeling a shiver going through the younger boy's body as his hands had moved up to Niall's ribcage while the fingers in the back of his neck were still softly pulling his hair. "Wait…"

Apparently having guessed what Liam's intentions were, Niall leaned back all of a sudden, letting go of Liam and causing him to open his eyes just in time to watch as the blonde boy pulled his shirt off, exposing his pale yet slightly flushed chest. Shit, he was so beautiful, if there had been any chance of Liam waking up and realising that he was about to mess everything up, it was gone now as he just stared, hands still on Niall's side, fingers pressing into the warm flesh. "You're absolutely gorgeous, babe…come here."

Niall didn't have to be told twice, there was a tiny smile forming on his lips before he pulled himself closer again, diving back down for another kiss, not wasting any time now and immediately going for it again, maybe even harder this time, as if it was his goal to really bruise Liam's lips. Not that he would have minded.

Shit, Liam was so into this was well, not able to think clear from how desperate he was to get Niall even closer, wanting to touch him everywhere at once, scatter kisses all over his chest and stomach. It was actually scary how much he wanted Niall, all of him, how much he had wanted him all along, never feeling allowed to fully express it up to now, always trying to keep things down so they wouldn't get themselves into anything… it seemed too late for that as Niall rocked his hips again, right into Liam's, almost causing him to moan into the younger boy's mouth. Well, this was definitely not how eating ice cream should've normally turned out.

The fact that Liam hadn't been with anybody in this way for quite a while was part of the reason why the friction Niall created between them by constantly moving his hips in just the right way got way too much too soon. Like, it's not that Liam would've just cum from just a few minutes of rubbing and pushing, he wasn't _that_ desperate, but just the fact that Niall's breathing got really unsteady from this and his kisses kinda sloppy, knowing the other boy was getting off from this, was enough to get Liam semi hard before he could even consider how wrong all of this was. It just felt way too good.

"F-Fuck… Liam…" Niall's mouth slipped off as he pushed his crotch right into Liam's, eyes pressed closed and sweat forming on his forehead as Liam checked, having his arms around the younger boy's waist now, to make sure he was as close as somehow possible. "Ugh, I… shit, I want you so b-badly…"

Not feeling steady enough to answer, Liam pressed their lips back together instead, more panting against each other than actually kissing, this was so freaking hot, if Niall hadn't looked so fucking attractive and making these sounds that went straight to Liam's groin, he would've just pushed the boy right off of him and onto the couch before ripping these jeans off of him. 

But since he couldn't do that, Liam settled for watching then, he was pretty hard himself now, but not as close as the younger boy seemed to be, once again having to interrupt the kiss to catch his breath, almost wailing as Liam met the desperate push of his hips, they had build a somewhat steady rhythm by now. Mostly it was Niall though, because honestly, Liam had never done anything like this before, but staring at the younger boy as he leaned back a bit, chest moving too fast, eyes still closed and a few pieces of hair sticking to his forehead now as he bit hard onto his bottom lip, that was seriously enough for Liam right now. 

"Fuck, fuck, fuck…" Niall whined, almost ripping the hair out in the back of Liam's neck as he kept pushing a bit harder than before while Liam mindlessly reached out, still keeping one arm around Niall's waist, tightly, as he used his free hand to run the back of his fingers over Niall's hot, flushed cheek, speaking without a thought.

"Come on, Ni… you look so good like this, babe, so gorgeous…" And maybe it was exactly those words that pushed Niall over the edge, Liam liked to think they were, because Niall moaned a bit louder afterwards, letting his head fall onto Liam's shoulder as he came, panting hard against the older boy's skin as his hips haltered to a stop after he had rocked them together quite desperately.

"Shit, that was so good, Liam, I… I can't even… fuck…" Yeah, Liam was still hard, especially now, but all he did was turning his head to softly press a kiss to Niall's ear, rubbing his now slightly sweaty back gently, still not really thinking about what the consequences of this would be and just enjoying this moment, having Niall so close and clinging to him, smelling a lot more like himself as he usually did, still trying to catch his breath.

"You look really hot when you come, Ni…" Like, it wasn't even a joke or anything, Liam truly meant it even if it had kinda slipped out of his mouth, causing Niall to lift his head again and sit up straight, a cheeky grin on his wet, swollen lips.

"Stop it, you're making me all red." That was the thing about Niall, he could laugh, even after a situation like this, immediately causing Liam to join as he settled his hands back onto the younger's hips again, just taking in the sight he had. Niall on his lap, hair messy and sticking into a few directions and his forehead, eyes shiny, maybe even bluer than usually, skin flushed all the way down to his chest, he looked perfect like this. 

"But it's true." Liam smiled while brushing the blonde fringe out of Niall's face, not thinking about anything right now except for how overwhelmed by his feelings he was, how fucking gone he was for this boy.

"Well, thanks, I guess…" Still smirking a bit, Niall obviously enjoyed Liam's gentle strokes for a while before he suddenly leaned back in, arms still around the older's neck as he pecked his lips softly, then moving his lips over Liam's cheek until he reached his ear, sending a thousand sparks through his body as he whispered. "Did you…?"

Knowing what he meant, Liam almost shook his head, not wanting Niall to lean back though so he decided to answer, having to clear his throat a little bit first though, not really used to speaking about these things so openly, like… "No, I, um, didn't…."

There was a short silence before Niall placed a kiss right below Liam's ear before gently biting into his earlobe, chuckling as Liam had to suck in a breath, holding a bit too tightly onto the blonde's hips. "Okay, let me take care of that?"

Before Liam could ask what the hell that was supposed to mean because he really didn't care that much about not having had an orgasm, Niall's lips were already over his again, using the chance that Liam's were already parted to slip his tongue inside because he had been wanting to say something.

Kissing back rather confused, Liam didn't really think about Niall sitting back a bit and moving his hands down his chest again, paying some extra attention to his nipples this time as if Liam hadn't been hard enough, and there was no way Niall couldn't feel it either considering the fact that he was right on top of him.

The moment Niall's hands moved over his stomach though and went straight for the button of Liam's jeans was when the older boy broke off the kiss, immediately getting hot as he realised what was going on, what was going to happen if he didn't interrupt. Maybe he didn't even want to though. "Niall, what are you-"

"Shh, just let me, okay? I'm just making you feel good, it's only fair." While talking, Niall had already managed to open up Liam's jeans, causing him to suck in a breath as he struggled to answer, part of him just wanting to nod and close his eyes, let it happen, especially as Niall kissed him again, short but sweet, rubbing his nose against Liam's as his hand movements had stopped momentarily. "Do you want me to, Li? You can tell me to stop and I will, but I really want to do this for you." 

"I-I… " Staring into those blue eyes just inches away from his, still tasting Niall in his mouth and the very prominent memory of what had just happened caused Liam to buckle in, because damn, he was really hard and he was so into Niall, liked him so much, he didn't even feel guilty as he nodded, immediately causing a grin to form on the younger boy's face. "O-Okay…"

"It'll be so good, I promise." Yeah, Liam also didn't doubt that, seeing as he already found this great before anything had even happened, but as Niall caught his lips into another kiss, moving a hand underneath the brief of Liam's boxers, he was suddenly pretty sure he wasn't gonna survive this.

Liam had never been in a very physical relationship, sure he had had sex, also with guys, and had gotten hand jobs, but having Niall doing it was a whole lot different from anything he had every experienced.

The blonde boy was really good at all of this, distracting Liam with deep, long kisses and strokes of his hot tongue, so that he barely even noticed what Niall was doing until he was hit by cold air, almost having to turn his head away to sigh in relief from not having his erection trapped inside his by now way too tight jeans anymore. 

Still, it was nothing compared to the moment when Niall wrapped a warm hand around his length, not really doing anything but it was enough for Liam's mouth to slip off as he moaned, keeping his eyes closed, not looking down because he was slightly embarrassed now, hardly having time to consider it though because fuck, this was _Niall's_ hand around him.

"Shit, Liam…" Obviously, Niall had looked down instead of him, their faces still so close that it caused their breath to mix, both of them panting, Liam a bit harder maybe, not being able to cut off those embarrassing noises as Niall moved his fist up experimentally. "That's so hot, Li, you're so wet, fuck…"

"K-Keep going, p-please…" Barely able to watch his words, Liam let his head fall onto the back of the couch as he released another moan, pretty sure he was creating bruises by how tight he was holding onto the younger boy's hips, but Niall never complained or even mentioned it.

Instead, he moved his fist down again, a bit faster this time and causing Liam to hiss once more, he could've cum right there, if he hadn't held back to enjoy it for a bit, but seriously, just the fact alone that Niall was touching him would've been enough to push him over the edge. "Faster?"

"God y-yes…" Was that even worth a question, Liam was a freaking mess right now and they both knew it.

"I love how much you're enjoying this." Before Liam could even consider answering, Niall had leaned forward a bit to kiss and nip at Liam's exposed neck, keeping his promise as he moved his hand faster, always making sure to do a full stroke, spreading the precum that was oozing out of the slit to make the slide easier and Liam was pretty sure he was in heaven right now. 

Niall was a bloody pro at giving hand jobs, seriously, he brought Liam quicker to the edge than he had ever been probably, going fast and then slowing his movements down again once Liam's moans got a bit too urgent, almost letting him cum but then stilling his movements again, waiting for a second before going right back to it. "N-Niall… stop the t-teasing… fuck, aah…"

"You wanna come?" There was a grin on Niall's lips, Liam knew even though he wasn't looking of course, but he felt the boy smiling against the wet spot he had created on Liam's throat, right above his pulse.

Not waiting for an answer, Niall moved his hand faster again, rubbing his palm over the head, his mouth suddenly leaving Liam's skin as he probably looked down again to watch his own movements over Liam's length, toying with his foreskin for a moment until Liam was 100% sure he had never been this hard in his whole entire life, like, it almost hurt by now, not in a bad way though.

Niall probably figured that out as well, because this time as he got Liam close to the edge again, where he couldn't choke his moans back anymore, the younger boy didn't stop but rather moved his hand faster, lips suddenly back on top of Liam's as he stroked him through it.

It was a fact that Liam hadn't come this hard before, onto both their bare stomaches and Niall's fist, with nothing but the younger boy's face in mind, having to turn his head away afterwards because of how dizzy he felt from lack of air, whole body feeling limp and shaky, yet he still somehow had to chuckle breathlessly, not out of amusement just… this had been so bloody amazing. "God…"

"It's okay if you just call me Niall, you know." Liam's hands were loose on Niall's hips now, but he was still holding on as the younger boy leaned in closer again, pecking his lips before Liam finally opened his eyes again, lifting his head off of the back of the couch, being met by a sweet smile and Niall's clean hand running through his sweaty hair gently. "Good?"

"You don't have to ask, do you?" Seriously, Liam had no words for this, his body was still shaking from this experience, breath coming a bit hard as he was just staring at Niall now, not being able to think about anything else but the younger boy, he barely even noticed how gross both of them were, Niall having cum into his pants not long ago, Liam's jizz on their bare skin, both of them quite sweaty, but for some reason, he wouldn't have had it any other way.

There were no regrets for a few minutes, no worries about what this meant for them now, Liam just smiled over Niall's proud face, not complaining as the younger boy placed kisses all over his face, just keeping him close, running his hands back up Niall's sides and down again, pushing every thought of what might follow away, not wanting to destroy the moment.

The thing that got Liam out of his dreamworld where everything was perfect, where he and Niall could just be like this whenever they wanted to without any consequences, was as the younger boy ducked his head down, gently nipping on Liam's skin, not leaving any marks though because he knew he wasn't allowed to, kissing up to Liam's ear, hot breath hitting the shell as Liam let his eyes fall closed, completely gone before Niall's words brought him back into reality at an instant.

It was almost cruel, how suddenly reality came back crashing down, how from one second to the other, Liam was once again reminded that there was a reason why he had always avoided things like today from happening, why it had been the dumbest idea ever to deepen this relationship even more, but it was too late now and Liam didn't have anyone to blame but himself. "I love you…"

Shit.


	8. Chapter 8

_No new messages._

Though this was the tenth time Niall had thrown a look at the cracked screen of his phone, he still wasn't tired of doing it over and over again, somehow still having hope left that maybe Liam was finally gonna text him back, or show any sign of life really, but as Niall had learned before, the older boy was very good at ignoring him.

He was probably busy, yeah, just like usually, it didn't mean Niall had to take it personally, right? Just because Liam hadn't asked him to sleep over tonight even though it was a friday and Niall always slept over on fridays, that didn't have to mean anything, did it?

Unfortunately, as stupid tears were building up in Niall's eyes as he chucked his phone across the bed, he knew very well that this was indeed very personal and also, it meant a very big deal.

Of course he knew what was going on, he had known the moment Liam had frozen up last night, after Niall had crossed the line by telling the older boy that he _loved_ him, because he did, truly and honestly, but he should've known better than to mindlessly blurt it out, he should've known Liam wouldn't take it well, because what had Niall expected, honestly?

He couldn't get the most perfect evening ever with Liam, get him to loosen up a bit and just enjoy what they were doing and then think the older boy was gonna say he loved Niall too. Because obviously, he didn't.

After Niall hadn't been able to keep his mouth shut last night, immediately realising his mistake though and apologising a few times while still straddling the older boy's lap, Liam had never said it back nor had his face gone back to relaxed and smily as it had been before, no, he had frowned, trying hard to cover up the fact that Niall had just ruined the whole thing, but of course, the younger boy noticed anyways.

Needless to say, their evening had ended rather quickly then, though Liam had given Niall a new pair of boxer shorts and some sweatpants, also letting him wash up in the bathroom, he had made it pretty clear afterwards that he wasn't gonna let Niall stay over, with a short and pretty harsh 'I think I should drive you back home'.

That drive had been the worst in Niall's whole entire life, he had been fighting back tears the whole time, not only because Liam seemed to be mad at him, but also because well… he knew that the older boy didn't wanna call it a relationship, but Niall had always kinda thought that it had different reasons, not because he didn't love Niall back, so suddenly, the blonde boy wasn't quite sure about that anymore seeing as Liam had been so quick to bring him back to his dorm, get rid of him kind of.

Ever since then, Niall hadn't heard from him anymore, though a whole day had passed already and he had texted Liam 3 times, apologising again, even asking whether he had done anything else wrong, like, Liam had obviously enjoyed getting a hand job but you never know, but Niall had never gotten any answers to any of his texts so he would never find out.

Which only left one option, Liam regretted what they had done, had probably gone with it in the heat of the moment, but it had gotten too serious for him as soon as Niall had blurted out with the L-word. How could he have been so stupid anyways?! He knew how careful he had to be with Liam, but they had gotten this bloody far and Niall loved him so much and Liam had even agreed to celebrating Christmas with him, had that all gone to waste? Just because Niall had openly talked about his feelings? Apparently.

Not being able to stand his thoughts anymore, Niall jumped out of bed, leaving his phone buried between his pillows though as he made his way over to Louis' room, not bothering to knock and just straight walking inside, relieved to find his best friend fully dressed and alone, sitting at his desk, a very unusual sight. "Niall, you can't just walk in here whenever you please, I closed the door for a reason, you know."

"For what reason? Harry isn't even here." Honestly confused, Niall was glad for having some distraction, even if it was just Louis glaring at him for sitting down onto the edge of his bed, not planning on leaving anytime soon, he'd go crazy alone in his room.

"I'm studying." As Niall raised his eyebrows at this, Louis just shrugged, his face getting a bit softer already, that was the thing, he pretended to be mad for twenty seconds but he'd allow Niall to stay anyways. "Anyways, Harry will come later, he'll sleep over but he still has to work."

"Right…" Not really wanting to talk about Liam's best friend because it was just a reminder of the older boy, Niall had to fight hard with himself to not just spill everything to Louis, he wanted to talk about it so badly, get some advice and some reassurance, but he knew that Louis would probably get mad at Liam, that he'd tell Harry, who would go and talk to Liam and everything would turn into a disaster. "Can we do something until then? I'm really bored."

Obviously, trying to ignore that Liam existed turned out to be harder than expected, it seemed to be everything Niall's mind revolved around lately and apparently he wasn't the only one who noticed that. "Wait, but it's friday, aren't you staying at Liam's? I thought that was kinda… you guys' thing."

Yeah, Niall had thought that too. "No, not tonight, he's… he's busy."

At this, Louis let out a sigh, turning his spinning chair now so that he was facing Niall while the younger boy tried his best to keep his facial expressions under control, he didn't want to say anything bad about Liam, he was crazy about him, it's just… last night and being ignored all day long hurt pretty badly. "But I thought he's always busy and you still go over anyways and whine for so long that he gives in."

Right, maybe Niall shouldn't have told Louis so much, but he had kinda figured that Harry had talked as well, at least about Liam's working situation, so he didn't feel too bad about doing it as well, he wasn't saying any mean things after all, he just liked talking about Liam and talking in general so that kinda fitted. Not tonight though, tonight Niall was playing with his fingers, kinda scared of looking his best friend directly into the eyes, as if it was written on his forehead or something. "Yeah, but, um… not tonight."

There was a bit of silence after that and Niall wanted to slap himself because he knew he had just given himself away, this wasn't how he usually behaved, he was way too sad and nervous right now, the only reason why Louis hadn't said anything yet was probably because they hadn't really seen each other today. Up to now, and of course, Niall was behaving like a beaten puppy, not being able to pull himself together for a little bit, it's just whenever he got too attached to somebody and emotionally involved, he took everything to heart even if it wasn't appropriate, so this actually being a quite serious situation, Niall was suffering even more. "Is everything okay, Ni? You know, with Liam, I mean… you didn't have a fight, did you? Did he do anything to you?"

"No, he didn't… he wouldn't, Lou. Never." At least that was something Niall was certain of, he sighed a bit, rubbing his hands over his face in frustration, he wanted to tell Louis so badly. "It's just… "

"Just what, Nialler?" His voice was quieter now, softer, Niall heard the chair creak a bit as Louis obviously leaned forward, towards him, but the younger boy didn't feel like looking up just yet.

"Um…" Gulping, Niall decided that he didn't want to go into details now, like, he was also pretty sure Liam didn't want Niall going around telling people he had given him a hand job, that was between the two of them and no one else, but he also didn't want to lie to Louis. "It's nothing just… you know that… that Liam… I mean that _we_ decided that we weren't gonna, like… call it a relationship, right? And last night, I… I kinda said something stupid and it was my fault, because I know I shouldn't have said anything, I know how Liam interprets things like this and… well, he was really weird afterwards and then he drove me home and… and he hasn't texted me back since then and I apologised, but… but he's ignoring me now and I just… I just want him to text me back, because I miss him and I'm scared he's mad at me now, Lou… what am I supposed to do?"

Maybe he had sounded a bit too desperate and close to tears, because Louis suddenly got up, getting Niall to stop staring at his fingers and looking at his best friend instead who walked over to sit down on the bed, next to Niall and with his arm around the younger's shoulders, squeezing a bit. "Hey, I'm sure he's not mad at you, Nialler, how could anyone ever be mad at you anyways? Maybe he's just confused about it, I mean, you know what I think about the whole thing, it's pretty obvious that you guys get along way, _way_ , too good for this to not be dating, maybe Liam finally realised that as well. What did you say to him anyways?"

"Nothing, just… it was really stupid, I don't wanna say it again…" Somehow this was really sad, but Niall didn't want Louis to know for some reason, sniffing a bit, he leaned his head against the older boy's shoulder, desperately hoping that his best friend turned out to be right, maybe Liam really was confused, about being confronted with it so suddenly. But then again, wasn't he constantly confronted with it anyways? And why had he been so surprised, just because Niall had never said it before, that didn't mean he hadn't loved Liam all along. 

"Okay, Ni. But listen, if he doesn't text you back tomorrow then I'll get Harry and we'll go yell at him, because I hate that he's making you sad." That was exactly why Niall loved Louis, but also why he could never tell him what had actually happened last night, so he sighed instead, closing his eyes just as the older boy wrapped his second arm around Niall as well. 

"It's not his fault though, he's really sweet to me, I told you. We went grocery shopping yesterday and he let me get whatever I wanted and he even finished work early just so I didn't have to wait. Oh, right, and he said he would come home with me for Christmas, I mean I'm not sure if that still counts now, but… he said yes, Louis, can you believe that? I would've never thought he would, imagine how great that would be, if he still wants to come after yesterday I mean, I gotta get him a really good present." Niall was very worried all of a sudden, that maybe he'd get disappointed and Liam didn't want to come anymore, which didn't mean that Niall wouldn't get him a present though, he'd even buy the other boy something if they were in fight. Well, provided he'd survive getting ignored by Liam until then, the thought of that was pretty scary.

"I told you he'd say yes, and if he cancels now then I'm gonna drag him there, no worries, Ni. Besides, it should be a good enough present for him already that I don't drive over and rip his head off right now." It was probably a joke because Louis started laughing as soon as Niall sat up straight again to glare at him, trying to escape his grip but the arms around him just tightened. "Aw, come on, Nialler, I'm just joking, I know he's not a bad guy or anything, I just don't like seeing you sad." 

"I'm not sad, just… worried, I guess." Sighing again, Niall realised he couldn't escape his best friend anyways so he gave up, trying to sound somewhat scary then even though it probably came out like a kitten trying to roar or something, Niall was very aware of the fact that he lacked both of the ability but also the will to be somewhat intimidating. "And don't say those things about Liam anymore or I'm gonna start saying things about Harry too."

"But what's there to say about Harry anyways?" For a moment, Niall just stared at Louis without blinking, groaning as he realised that yeah, there was nothing to say about Harry, he was always funny and nice whenever he came over, even though Niall hadn't really spent much time with him obviously, but then again, Louis and Liam hadn't either.

"I'll make something up then, don't provoke me, Louis." He wouldn't, and Louis was very well aware of that because he just chuckled before smacking a kiss against the side of Niall's forehead, laughing even louder as the younger boy pulled a face, wiping the spot with the back of his hand. "Stop doing that, I'm not a toddler…"

"I'm just showing you that I care, Ni. And anyways, you know you'll always be the 14 year old that ate glue in class and had to go to the nurse because I told him to do it." Right, this was enough, at the mentioning of the first time they had met, Niall finally broke free of Louis' arms while the older boy almost lost it from laughing so hard. The story was true though, unfortunately, Niall could remember it very clearly, the first time Louis had come into his class, 16 years old already, and Niall, being the loud, annoying teenager he had been back then (still was sometimes), had found it _hilarious_ to do everything the older boy had wanted him to, he had literally admired Louis from day one, which had stopped again, after like 2 years, but they had remained best friends.

"You know how easy I was to influence and yet you still put me in danger, that wasn't very nice, I was throwing up for days." Not really wanting to leave just because he needed to pretend to be mad, Niall sat down in Louis' spinning chair instead, out of reach, kinda amused by the memory but not wanting to show it.

"Just because I said it would be funny didn't mean you had to actually do it, you know, I didn't expect you to anyways, I was just-"

There were some knocks on the door that brought Louis off track, for a moment, both of them remained silent before the older boy started grinning widely, already up on his feet again before Niall could put two and two together, rolling his eyes then as he realised who was at the door. Harry, of course, great. "How did he even get up here without a house key?"

"We got a spare one, remember? I gave him that one." Louis just said it casually, over his shoulder, already walking to his door and Niall thought he'd have to get his ears checked.

"You know him since a few weeks and you gave him a key to our dorm?!" Ridiculous, Niall didn't even know what to say, he was just shaking his head slowly to himself, because Louis just shrugged anyways while the younger boy kept staring at his best friend's back, being able to watch the whole scene from his place on the chair, for some reason not feeling the urge to look away.

"You're early." Louis had basically ripped the door open, probably smirking like and idiot, because Harry was as well, Niall could tell, even from that far away, causing him to roll his eyes, when in reality, he was fucking jealous. 

"Yeah, I'm probably gonna get thrown out now, but anyways… hey, babe." And then they kissed, like, it wasn't even a peck, they were almost starting to make out right in the doorframe, causing Niall's stomach to turn, but he still kept staring for some reason, even though it was self torture. 

Their kiss lasted way too long to be considered normal, then they started having banter with each other as well, laughing really stupidly about something that not even Niall found funny and let's be honest, he pretty laughed at everything. Stupid, Liam's jokes were way better than Harry's anyway.

As they finally came over after what seemed like hours, though it had probably been like 5 minutes, Niall hadn't moved except for making himself more comfortable, he was aware that he probably should've left, but he could still wait until Louis would practically throw him out. Anything so he didn't have to be alone. "Hey, Nialler, you alright?"

Harry seriously came over, with a grin on his face, ruffling Niall's hair a bit, something the younger boy used to get mad over but he basically just sat there, forcing a smile. "'m fine, yeah… been a while since you been here. Like, one whole day."

"Very funny, did Liam tell you you could borrow his bad jokes?" Laughing, Harry let himself fall into bed next to Louis, they were still half sitting up, it wasn't like that yet, but Niall's cheeks still got a little hot, also because of the mentioning of that one name. 

"My jokes are a lot better than his." For some reason, Niall really felt the urge to leave now, especially because he noticed Louis' worried look on his face, scared that his best friend might bring up before's conversation, but also a little bit because he couldn't stand seeing Harry's hand in between both of Louis' and them sitting so extremely close. He really missed Liam. "Anyways, I'll leave you guys alone, I … gotta Skype my mum."

Which was the last thing Niall felt like doing, also, it was a pretty bad excuse seeing as they would probably notice if he actually stayed quiet in his room, but then again, it's not as if they wouldn't be busy over here anyways. "Tell her I said hi, okay?"

"Yeah, sure. See you later or so." Probably not, it wasn't that extremely late but Niall didn't feel like hanging out with them tonight, especially not if he had been looking forward all week to sleeping over at Liam's place and now he'd just go lie in bed all by himself, probably staying awake half the night anyways.

Louis threw another worried look at Niall before he left, so he faked a smile before pulling the door closed behind him, immediately relaxing his facial muscles once he was outside, not going for the fridge like he usually would have, for some reason, the thing with Liam had even ruined his never ending appetite.

There were no new messages as Niall checked his phone again after closing his own door as well and pulling his shirt off, not planning on leaving his bed again tonight. Or the whole weekend more like.

He knew that it was stupid to act lie this now, like a pouting child, but he couldn't help himself because it was almost unbearable to over analyse last night again, unwillingly, he tried to forget about it but it just wouldn't work somehow. Maybe Liam just needed time to figure this out, there was no reason for Niall to cry into his pillow now, he had brought this upon himself after all, it was is own fault that Liam was ignoring him, who the hell just blurted out with 'I love you' after giving someone a hand job? No wonder Liam was freaked out. And no wonder he maybe didn't even feel the same.

Of course, none of that was very helpful, it just brought Niall down even more if anything, and after lying in bed for about an hour, just staring at Liam's name in his contact list, thinking about how he had gotten that number in the first place, Niall just buckled in, deciding to give it one more shot before he'd throw his damn phone across the room, just one more tiny text message and then he'd try to sleep so it would be tomorrow sooner, put an end to this awful day.

 

_To Liam 9:58 pm_

_i miss you & i wish you were here right now. i'm still sorry. sleep well ♥_

 

Knowing that he wasn't gonna get an answer, Niall shoved his phone under his pillow before pulling the blanket up to his chin, feeling slightly pathetic for snuggling his face into Liam's hoodie, which he hadn't stolen, but Liam had told him to put it on again last night, which meant he had actually still cared about Niall's well being though it had been more of a 'it's cold outside, here' without very much eye contact.

Still, as soon as Harry and Louis finally stopped laughing like fucking idiots in the other room, Niall actually did manage to drift off into a pretty restless slumber, trying to imagine that he was in Liam's bed right now, with the older boy's arms around him, like it should have been.

 

—————

 

As Niall jerked awake into a sitting position, his heart was racing as if it was about to jump out any second, whole body shaking as he gripped onto the blanket, trying to take a deep breath and calm down, but for some reason, there was this weight on his chest that wouldn't allow Niall to get as much air into his lunges as he needed, almost causing him to choke with no real orientation because of the darkness, he could've been anywhere, in a way too small room for example, the cool wall pressing into his bare back. And that's when he panicked.

Within less than half a minute of desperately trying to calm down, Niall had tears streaming down his face instead as he remembered the dream he just had had, something about drowning, he couldn't fully recall it anymore, but adding that to the fact that he still couldn't properly breathe was enough. 

Not being able to move from being curled into a ball while sitting on the bed in complete darkness, Niall tried to suppress his sobs by pressing his face against his knees, hugging his legs tightly to his chest, as if it might help or at least stop the shaking, but no, it just made things worse if anything.

The scary part was that Niall knew exactly what was happening, even while crying and not being able to breathe properly, because he had had these things before, not since a few years now though, so it was even stranger that it had to happen while he had been asleep, and all alone because just for once he wasn't sleeping over at Liam's when he had been supposed to.

Thinking about the older boy made things impossibly worse, suddenly Niall was 100% sure that Liam would never ever talk to him again, that he'd 'break up' with him via text message and then Niall would be all alone again. Provided he survived this night because he felt as if he might choke any second, or as if his room was getting smaller somehow, his claustrophobia not exactly doing him a favour right now.

Before Niall even knew what he was doing, not able to grasp a clear thought right now, he was already half yelling, shaking and crying too much as to get a proper word out without sounding pathetic, but it's not that he cared right now, he just didn't want to die and right now it felt like he would. "L-Louis?! Louis!"

The reason why he even called for his best friend was because one, Niall wasn't really in a position to judge about the embarrassment of this, and two, Louis would know what was going on, he had been present at least 3 times while Niall had had a panic attack like this. It just had never happened in his sleep.

No one came for a while, so Niall tried it again, louder, but his voice broke away every single time, causing him to cry even more and make the breathing even harder, as if he really was taking his last breaths or something. Niall was gonna die, he was suddenly more than sure of it, he couldn't even move to turn the lights on, do anything besides pressing his eyes shut, waiting for the moment his room would finally get too small. He wanted Liam to hold him so badly it hurt.

"Niall, did you-" It wasn't Louis who finally opened the door, it was Harry, sounding confused and a bit sleepy as well, turning on the lights in Niall's room without any further questions, interrupting himself as he realised that something wasn't going right at all. "Shit, Niall, what's going on?! Do you… I'll get Louis!"

Before Niall could even bring himself to lift his head, or tell Harry that he shouldn't leave him alone, there was yet another sob escaping him as he heard the other boy's steps, way too loud, and the walls weren't that thick either, it only was a matter of seconds before there were voices coming from the other room. Not that Niall could have made out any words or sentences, he just focused on not choking to death right now, trying not to think about his nightmare or the fact that Liam was gonna leave him, not knowing which would be worse to become reality.

"….happened?!" Finally, that was Louis' voice for sure, though Niall still didn't think he would survive lifting his head or moving from his curled up position, to know that he wasn't alone anymore was a relief, even if it was just a really slight one. 

"I don't know! I was in the bathroom and he was calling for you so I decided to check what's up and he was like this, I … I don't know what's going on." While Harry tried to express himself, sounding rather scared, Niall felt the mattress moving before someone took the blanket that had fallen off of him, moving it around or doing whatever with it before Niall was enveloped in warmth and two arms around him, softly pulling his head against Louis' chest and he complied immediately, crying into the older's shirt instead while tightly clutching onto it.

"He's having a panic attack, he didn't have one in forever." His words seemed to come from too far away, there was a hand rubbing Niall's back, not really helping him to calm down or at least stop the shaking now, he should've been embarrassed, but all he could think of was that he still couldn't breathe properly and that Liam was gonna tell him that he didn't want him anymore. Well, provided Niall would survive the night. "Hey, shh, Nialler, it's okay, what happened? Did you have a nightmare?"

"Y-Yeah…b-but L-Lou… I-I… I-I c-can't b-breathe a-and L-Liam…h-hates m-me a-and I-I…I-I d-don't w-wanna d-die…" Not being able to talk on, already having said, or actually sobbed, more than he had ever planned on letting the other two know, Niall buried his face further into Louis' shirt, glad about the older boy's arms tightening, fingers brushing throw his hair. 

"Niall, you're not gonna die, it's all good, you'll be able to breathe normal again in a second, okay? Just try and calm down, Ni, it's all good, I'm here and Harry is too and I promise you, Liam doesn't hate you at all, who could ever hate you anyways, huh?" Though the soothing voice was kinda calming, it wasn't helping as much as Louis had probably hoped, he had managed to get Niall through this a few times, but tonight seemed to be worse than any time before.

"H-He d-does… I-I… I-I t-told h-him t-that…" Having to break off to cough, Niall should've maybe used the short stop to think about how he shouldn't have started this, but his brain was blocked and all he could think of was that he wanted Louis to comfort him, well actually, he wanted Liam, but the other boy probably wouldn't have wanted to be here right now anyways, making Niall cry even harder.

"What did you tell him, Niall?" It was Harry who asked, his voice sounded a lot closer than expected, he was probably sitting on the bed as well, not as close as Louis, but close enough to rub Niall's back.

"T-That I-I…. l-love h-him…" The silence following after this was quite uncomfortable, or it should've been, but Niall didn't notice anyways, he was busy catching the little air he could get, and feeling sorry for himself, still shivering despite the fact that he was feeling warm, not quite able to control what was coming out of his mouth. "L-Lou… I-I w-want L-Liam, I-I… "

"Shh, it's okay, Ni… Haz, can you call Liam? And tell him that I'm gonna kill him if he doesn't get here in under 15 minutes." Niall flinched at how harsh Louis' voice sounded in the last part, he wanted to say something, tell them that Liam wasn't gonna come anyways because he didn't even like Niall that much, but the talking was getting too much, using up all the air he had left. 

"Of course, I'll get my phone, I'll be right back." The hand on Niall's back left and it sounded as if though they were kissing over his head for a second, causing him to cling even tighter to Louis.

"Take Niall's, it's right here." Since he refused to let his best friend move anywhere away from him, it would forever remain a mystery how they had found his phone under his pillow, fact was that Harry got it apparently while Louis continued to stroke Niall's hair, rocking them slightly, saying calming things to him that didn't quite get through to the blonde though. 

For a while, Niall thought Liam wasn't picking up, crying a bit harder as he thought about how the older boy ignored his phone going off just because he saw Niall's number, plus he didn't even know how late it was anyways, but as Harry spoke up all of a sudden, Niall's heart made yet another, very uncomfortable, jump, as if it was gonna start beating even faster than it already had been. "Li-… no, it's me, Harry… yeah, no, don't freak out, okay? Just, can you get here, to Niall's dorm, I mean, he really needs you right now, Liam, hurry up, please…. yeah, I'll explain it, just get into your car… okay, see you in a second."

"How long do you think he'll need?" Wait, was Liam seriously coming?!

"A few minutes, there's no traffic, it's like 3am and he started freaking out immediately, also he sounded as if he had been crying before I even called him, so I'm gonna take a guess and say the odds are pretty good that those two will make up tonight." Then he lowered his voice, making it sound a lot softer as he spoke to Niall, rubbing his back again. "Niall, are you okay? Liam's gonna be here in a bit, alright? I promise he doesn't hate you, he's crazy about you, it's all gonna be okay." 

Highly doubting that, Niall forced himself to nod into Louis' shirt, it felt wet against his cheek now but he didn't want to move away, feeling a little better now but the shaking still hadn't stopped and he still couldn't take a deep breath even if he had wanted to.

Harry's prediction turned out to be right, Liam really did come and he also only needed about 10 minutes, as if he had actually been in a hurry to get here, which left Louis and Niall alone for a while as Harry went downstairs to let Liam inside the building, none of them speaking for a while, only noise being Niall's quiet sobs and sometimes gasps for air. "Nialler… why didn't you tell me before what it was that you told Liam? It wasn't anything bad like you said, he's a real douche if that's the reason he's ignoring you."

"N-No… h-he's n-not a d-douche…" Not really wanting to talk about it, Niall suddenly felt really embarrassed, for all of this, for having Harry being the one to come bursting into his room, and now Liam would see him like this as well, it was bad enough that Louis knew about it, Niall had never planned on letting Liam know, hopeful that it might never happen again, but tonight had just been enough.

"Alright, just… I hate that he's the reason this is happening." Louis sighed, trying to move a bit but Niall wouldn't let him, somehow scared that he would just be left alone now, which was a ridiculous thing to think but he just couldn't help himself. "I'm not leaving, Niall, it's okay…"

Niall hadn't opened his eyes until now so the light was hurting pretty badly, blinking a few times as he heard the door opening again, not really seeing much because of the tears not wanting to stop coming, he just wanted to convince himself that it was really Liam. Not that he would've been brave enough to run straight into his arms like he wanted to, no, he just stayed curled into Louis' side, still crying and shaking, feeling both pathetic and embarrassed but not being able to change anything about his situation, it's not like he enjoyed this.

Harry stayed in the doorframe as he let Liam pass wordlessly, they had probably already talked on the way back up to the dorm, so there was no need to now, but just the fact that Niall knew that Liam knew what was going on caused him to look down immediately as his eyes met the familiar brown ones he had wished to see the whole day just so he was forced to turn his head away now, sniffing quietly.

"Nialler…" That was all Liam said, his voice sounded pained, almost only like a whisper and he didn't move for a second or two before the mattress moved again and Niall had to really hold back now to not just throw himself at the older boy and cry into his neck about how sorry he was, about how much he loved him, but he kept himself together. Well, in the sense of trying to shush his own sobs but not really succeeding, this was too much, he had missed Liam so dearly and now he was here and he didn't even sound mad yet Niall still wasn't allowed to touch him or even look at him because he was such a mess. "I… I'm so sorry, babe, I shouldn't have ignored you, I… I was just confused and… and scared and just… I know it doesn't help you to hear that right now, but I… I'm really worried about you, Ni, I didn't know you ever had panic attacks and I…shit, I'm so sorry…"

"Liam, do you wanna take over for me?" It was Louis who saved the whole situation, because neither Niall nor Liam made any move, the blonde boy panicked for a second as his best friend slowly unclenched his fingers from around his shirt, slowly letting his arms slip and gently trying to move away. 

"I don't know if he wants me to, I…" Yes, Niall did want Liam to hold him, so desperately that he thought he might have to die from it, but he didn't feel as if he could speak without embarrassing himself so he shut up, still trying hard not to look at the older boy.

"It's fine, you're probably gonna do a much better job at calming him than I ever could." With that, Louis full let go, almost causing Niall to panic even more, thinking everyone was just gonna leave him alone, but he never got the chance to because about five seconds later, he was wrapped into someone else's arms and then, as if it didn't already cause Niall to release a shaky breath as he smelled Liam's aftershave, the older boy just pulled him right over into his lap. "See, Niall? I told you he doesn't hate you. We'll leave you guys alone, okay? If you need anything just call, the walls are pretty thin anyways."

Louis' voice had become a blur the second Niall allowed himself to wrap his arms around Liam's neck like he had wanted to do the whole day long, not being able to hold back a sob as the older boy hugged him back tightly, burying his face in Niall's hair, breathing out hotly against his scalp. 

After the door closed, plunging them into silence, Niall tried taking a deeper breath, nose right up against Liam's neck, feeling the slow rise and fall of his chest, his strong arms holding Niall tightly, keeping him from falling apart, and to his surprise, it didn't feel anymore as if he had to choke. "Is there anything I can do to make it better, Ni? Please tell me, I don't… I don't know what to do, babe, I really wanna help you."

Liam sounded a bit desperate, he was placing countless kisses onto the top of Niall's head now, quickly letting go with one arm to pull the blanket over Niall's legs, for some very twisted reason causing Niall to smile just the tiniest bit against his neck, sitting on Liam's lap had made things about 50% better. "J-Just… don't l-let me g-go…"

"I won't, Nialler, I'm here now, I'm not gonna leave you alone again, okay? I promise, I'm never gonna behave this shitty again, I'm so sorry." Rocking them for a bit, Liam pressed his lips against Niall's head yet another time before slowly moving his hand until he could reach the boy's cheek, gently stroking the wet skin with the back of his fingers. "Ni, can you look at me for a second? Please?"

Just because it was Liam, and even though Niall didn't want to do anything at all besides hiding is face in the older boy's neck, he hesitated only for a moment before slowly lifting his head, blinking a few times because of the light, another tear spilling over. This time though, Liam caught it with his finger, his eyes never leaving Niall's face, he seemed quite sad, eyes red, either from having cried or being woken up at 3 in the morning, Niall didn't know, but it bothered him, he just liked seeing Liam's smile a lot, and the way his eyes crinkled up, god, he was so beautiful. "I'm s-sorry…that y-you had to d-drive o-over a-and… for l-last night…a-and I'm s-sorry I t-told H-Harry a-and Louis a-about it, I… i-it j-just s-slipped o-out…"

"Hey, no, don't apologise for any of these things, okay? Last night was entirely my fault, not yours, and it's your good right to tell anybody about it you want to, and of course I came over, Niall, I'm always gonna come if you need me, no matter where you are or how late it is, I promise." While talking in a soothing voice, Liam had taken it upon himself to gently dry Niall's face, with one hand only, he needed his other arm to hold Niall close. "Are you feeling better now? I don't like seeing you cry, babe…"

"I'm b-better… I was j-just…" Taking a deep breath because it felt good to finally being able to do it again, Niall felt his whole body hurting from all the shaking before, he had almost managed to stop now, also, there barely came any new tears and if they did, Liam was sure to wipe them away immediately. "I had a, um… n-nightmare and then I w-woke up a-and… and I c-couldn't b-breathe a-and it w-was so d-dark and… I g-got c-claustrophobia and i-it was just s-scary…" 

Purposely leaving out the part where he had started thinking Liam hated him, Niall still was embarrassed for everything he had said, or for the fact that it had happened more like, he usually wasn't like this, sure, he was quite emotional sometimes, but he mostly was in a good mood and happy. "You got claustrophobia?"

"Y-Yeah… ever s-since I was a k-kid… but it's o-okay…" Usually Niall wasn't really confronted with it on a daily basis so it was fine, plus he hated seeing Liam frown at this, not thinking as he moved one arm to reach Liam's face with his hand, trying to lift the corner of his mouth up with his thumb. "Don't d-do that… I l-like it b-better when y-you smile…"

"I like it better when you smile too, babe." But Liam relaxed his face a bit at this, turning his head to kiss Niall's thumb before pressing another one right on top of his nose, tickling him with his breath. It's something that Niall noticed, that whenever he was the one who felt a bit down or was embarrassed, which barely happened, Liam immediately jumped into this protective mode, doing things he usually would've blushed at least a little bit for, but now it was like he'd just do anything he possibly could to cheer Niall up and make sure he was okay again and the younger boy loved him even more for that. "Hey, Nialler… if you ever, you know… have a panic attack again, can you tell Louis or whoever is there to call me right away? Or if you're alone, I just… wanna be there for you. If it helps, I mean, you don't have to if you don't want me there, but…"

God he was so sweet, Niall almost had to smile at this, his hand now in the back of Liam's neck, getting goosebumps from the way the older boy stroked his bare back gently, still holding him impossibly close with his other arm so that their faces were only inches apart. "I-I barely ever get them a-anymore, but I'd always want you there, Li… y-you helped me to calm down b-better than anybody else h-has, thank you…"

Pressing a kiss to the other boy's lips, Niall noticed that he had finally stopped shaking and crying altogether, feeling a lot better now, especially since he was all wrapped up in Liam's arms, on his lap, feeling him all around and it was wonderful. This is exactly how Niall would've wanted this night to be all along and despite what had just happened, he was still glad that it had led to this. "I'm happy if I did, I was… really scared when Harry called me, I really hope it's not gonna happen anymore, it hurts to see you like this… um, do you wanna lie down? Or not, just tell me, okay?"

Liam was obviously fighting with his words as soon as they had pulled apart a bit, so the younger boy just nodded, not really wanting to get out of Liam's lap, but then again, lying in his arms and being all tangled up was maybe even better. "Yeah, let's lie down…"

So they moved, Niall rubbed his eyes with his fists, glad that they were dry now, smiling a bit about the way Liam made sure to always keep his hands on him, making sure Niall knew he was there, even holding the blanket open for him to slip underneath before lying down himself, lights still turned on to Niall's relief, as much as having Liam there helped, he didn't wanna be in complete darkness again right now. "Are you comfortable?"

"Always comfortable when you're there." They were lying sideways, facing each other and with their legs tangled up, barely any distance between them and Liam's arm around him, evenly stroking his hair, just as Niall loved going to sleep the very most. "I missed you, Liam…"

"I missed you too, Nialler, a lot and I'm sorry I didn't text back, I just…" Interrupting himself, Liam kissed Niall's forehead softly, playing with the soft hair behind his ear, obviously trying to look for the right words.

"It's okay, we don't have to talk about it anymore, I was just scared you're mad at me, but I know why it upset you anyways, I know I shouldn't have said it." Though it was very true and it hurt Niall that he couldn't tell Liam how much he meant to him, but if the other boy didn't want him to, he'd keep his mouth shut from now on.

Surprisingly though, Liam didn't look relieved at all at the offer to just drop it, he sighed a bit, moving closer towards Niall then, avoiding his eyes. "No, that's not… not what I want, I mean… I don't just wanna ignore that it happened and… did you really mean it?" 

That question caught Niall a bit off guard but he nodded anyways, not even needing a second to think about it, of course he loved Liam, more than he had ever loved anybody probably, even if they didn't even know each other for that long, but Niall just couldn't help it if that was the way he felt.

"Okay…" Liam released a shaky breath at this while Niall got a bit scared, not knowing what was to follow now, but there was still a hand playing with his hair and thumbing at his ear and Liam hadn't moved away from him either so he took that as a good sign, even if his voice was very quiet and unsteady as he spoke up again. "Look, the reason why I got so… weird afterwards was just that… I really enjoyed last night, I really did and it was amazing, _you're_ amazing, and when we, you know… I just stopped thinking about any worries I had and it was just you and me and nothing else mattered and then… when you… when you said that you… _love_ me, I just… was brought back into reality. I never planned for this to happen, I'm scared we're gonna mess this up, I'm scared I'm gonna hurt you in the end and I didn't know how to react properly and I didn't know what to answer to your texts because I missed you too and I wasn't mad at you, I was just mad at myself for behaving like a fucking douche and because I didn't know what to do…"

"Liam, you don't have to explain yourself to me, I'm happy that you enjoyed last night because I did too and I know you'd never hurt me on purpose and I told you before that I don't care about any of these things that get you worried about, I can deal just fine with how much you have to work and how busy you are, I just wanna be with you, because… because yeah, I really do love you and maybe that sounds crazy but that's just the way it is." Shrugging a bit, as far as that was possible, Niall felt relieved at having it said again, just to make sure Liam really KNEW, and it seemed quite like it because the older boy just stared at him, surprised kinda.

And then, without anything else being said, he just pressed his lips on top of Niall's, gently though, with no rush, kissing him sweetly, slowly, not even trying to deepen it, but it was fine, it still gave Niall all the same tingles and caused him to smile a bit like it always did, especially whenever it was Liam who took the initiative. 

As they pulled apart, just barely enough to whisper, lips still hovering over each other and eyes closed, Niall was about to say something, tell Liam that it was still okay if they didn't call it anything and that he'd still be very happy if the other boy went home with him for Christmas, but somehow, Liam was faster. "I love you too."

Immediately, Niall's eyes flew open in surprise, pulling back a bit to be able to stare at Liam, whose cheeks had turned slightly red, but he was smiling nevertheless, brushing Niall's fringe out of his forehead. Had he just really said that?! That he LOVED Niall?! "Do you… do you really?"

"Yes, I do, Ni, I just… was too scared to admit it to myself, I thought… it'd just get us in even deeper, but as things are now… I don't think there's a way to … to _not_ see this is a relationship anymore and it's already gotten to a point where-"

"So you wanna be my boyfriend?!" Niall just couldn't help it anymore, he almost shrieked it right into Liam's face, grin spreading all across his face, hardly able to believe what he had just heard, hell, was the worst night he had ever experienced really just turning into the best one?!

Instead of answering, Liam laughed softly, finally his face wasn't sad or worried anymore, he was just honestly laughing, eyes crinkling up in the way that Niall loved so much that he could've stared at the other boy for hours straight. "Yes, I do… provided you wanna be mine too."

"Shit, Li, you know that there's nothing I want more than this! Kiss me again." Actually, Niall was so excited now, heart bumping fast again, but for a good reason this time, he just crashed their lips back together without waiting for a reaction, so hard that Liam let himself fall onto his back, pulling the younger boy on top of him and laughing into his mouth.

"Careful, baby…" No, Niall could't be careful anymore, not now, not while his heart felt as if it might burst any second, not after Liam had told him that he was in love with him as well, after calling him _baby_ and holding him this tightly pressed against his body while kissing him. 

He was Niall's _boyfriend_.

 

—————

 

The day after was maybe Niall's favourite since he and Liam had started becoming so close, well, it was for sure at least in the top five.

They hadn't gone to sleep for a while after what had happened, Niall had been way too awake and hyper to even close his eyes, not wanting to stop staring at Liam anyways, so they had slept in on saturday, but Liam had told Niall that it was fine if they stayed in bed longer because he didn't have any work to do today anyways, not sure if he had just made that up, Niall was overly thrilled anyways, he loved cuddling in bed with Liam, especially now that he was allowed to fully express his feeling for the other boy without fearing that he was going too far. Like, he wasn't constantly saying 'I love you' now, but the fact that he knew he could if he wanted to and that he'd most likely get a 'I love you too' back was good enough.

Running into Harry that day was slightly embarrassing for Niall though, like, he had to pee pretty badly while Liam was still asleep and apparently Harry always had to go in the most inconvenient times as well so they bumped into each other. Before Niall could even begin to say anything, even if he didn't know what exactly, the older boy was already ruffling his hair, not at all acting strange because of what had happened. "All good with you two?"

"Yeah, we… we're great." And then, before he blurted out with all the details, Niall made sure to get into the bathroom while Harry just chuckled, walking back off into Louis' room.

Other than that, Niall didn't see the other two anymore because they left before he and Liam even managed to get out of bed, there was a text message from Louis though, asking whether Niall was alright and he was more than happy to be able to give his best friend a positive answer, plus maybe bragging just a tiny little bit by telling him that Liam had just promised him to take him out for lunch.

Which he really did then, and it was amazing, Niall felt as if he was on cloud nine the whole time, he knew Liam didn't really like them being very affectionate in public, but today, he didn't seem to mind at all, grabbing Niall's hand before the younger boy even had a chance to think about, kissing his knuckles afterwards when they had to let go. Niall had never been so in love with anybody, he was certain of it, he didn't care whatever might happen in the future, he would never get enough of Liam, would never not want to be with him anymore, like, maybe that was just what people called honeymoon phase after you first get together, but Niall just felt amazing right now and that was the main thing.

"Hey, Li…" Almost falling over his own feet, Niall caught himself last second under Liam's worried stare, grinning brightly to signal that he was alright, but also because he was just in a good mood. 

"Don't hurt yourself, babe." Liam was still sitting on the couch, because it had only been Niall who had gotten a sudden craving for chocolate, although he had almost eaten all of it on the way from the kitchen back into the living room, climbing over the armrest of the couch now, on all four, causing the older boy to flinch a bit, as if he was ready to catch him.

"I'm fine, I'm a pro at this." Chuckling, Niall fell back into his spot next to Liam, snuggling up into his side like before, happy as the other's arm wrapped back around his shoulders automatically. "So anyways, I remembered something while I was in the kitchen."

"And what was that?" There was a crooked smile on Liam's lips now as he studied Niall's face before reaching out with his free hand, obviously cleaning off chocolate from the corner of the blonde's mouth with his thumb, causing him to feel a little bit hotter.

"Well, I forgot to ask you, but… you're still coming home with me for Christmas, right?" That question had really bugged Niall for some reason, he was watching Liam closely while asking, but there wasn't any sign of displeasure at all, he just kept looking at Niall with soft eyes, so lovingly that the younger boy almost blushed even if he rarely ever did.

"Of course I am, Ni. Did you already ask your parents whether it's alright?" Right, this was the point that had concerned Niall even more than the first question, he pulled his legs up on the couch now, turning a bit more towards Liam, one hand on his chest, just because he could.

"No, but that was kinda um, what I wanted to ask you…you know, it'd sound a lot better if I asked whether my _boyfriend_ can stay over for Christmas break, I mean, just saying…" So it hadn't actually been a question, but Niall was pretty sure Liam would get the hint, he still looked down though, not with his usual confidence because this was a new thing, absently drawing patterns over Liam's shirt.

"Oh, Niall…" There was a very unexpected chuckle that caused Niall to look up immediately, relieved as he saw Liam's face having brightened up. "You can tell her we're dating if you want to, yes."

"Thank you, she'll be really happy about that, you know, and she's gonna love you, I promise, it'll be great, I'm really excited that you're gonna meet my family." The slight shyness from before was forgotten, Niall was almost beaming now because it wasn't very long until Christmas and he still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he could go home _and_ be with Liam at the same time.

Liam just kept watching him with an amused expression on his face before suddenly tightening his arm, pulling Niall in closer and leaning down to press his lips onto the side of his forehead, mumbling against his skin. "You're so cute, has anyone ever told you that?"

"Only you." Niall's tummy was doing flips from this, he quickly turned his head as Liam pulled away, stealing a kiss before putting his head down onto the older boy's chest, moving his arm to wrap around his stomach, letting a content sigh escape. 

"Good." His voice was almost only a whisper now, but he hugged Niall closer, resting his head on top of the blonde's, just holding him tightly.

"Why is that good?" Letting his eyes fall closed to appreciate the moment a little more, Niall felt as if he could roll on top of Liam right now and place kisses onto the boy's face until his lips would feel numb. Maybe later in bed.

"I don't want other guys running around and telling you that you're cute?" Aww, why was he so sweet, he didn't sound as if he was making a joke or anything, Niall had to actually bite hard into his bottom lip so he wouldn't burst out giggling like a little child.

"You know, Liam… actually _you're_ the cute one here and not me, do you ever listen to yourself when you're talking?" It was true, Liam was saying these things all the time, and doing all that stuff for Niall, as if he didn't even think about it beforehand. Which maybe was the best part about all of this, it just seemed to come all natural and it made Niall so immensely happy that he could've bursted.

There was no answer to that, so Niall lifted his head to check, forcing Liam to do the same, just to find out that the older boy's cheeks were pretty flushed now because of what he had said. It was honestly making Niall smile so big whenever Liam got red because you wouldn't expect a guy like him to ever feel embarrassed about anything at all, yet here Liam was, letting go of Niall with one arm just to pretend that he had to rub his cheek and hide it. "Just telling you the truth… anyways, since we're talking about Christmas, I kinda, um… got you something."

Well that sudden change of topic certainly caused Niall to sit up more straight, doing Liam that favour and not pointing out his red face but instead letting himself be excited because hell, if there was one thing to distract Niall, it were surprises. "For Christmas?"

Liam was calming down again, seemingly happy that they weren't talking about him being cute anymore, letting his arm rest on the back of the couch now instead of the younger boy's shoulders so he could reach his hair, more playing with it really than sorting it out. "No, not for Christmas, just… you know, I felt really bad yesterday and guilty and I… I was thinking about a way to make it up to you and show you that I'm truly sorry, but I forgot about it until now, so… I'm still sorry and I thought… maybe you wanted to have it now."

"Li, you don't have to be sorry about anything at all, I told you, okay? But if you still wanna give it to me then I really wanna see it." What kinda question was that even?

"Alright, I'll go and get it, I'll be right back." For some reason, Liam seemed a bit unsure about this whole thing, which was the only reason why Niall kept his excitement a little lower when actually he felt he could have bursted.

"Okay, I'm not gonna run away, promised." Smirking, Niall let himself being kissed by Liam before the older boy let go of him to get up, throwing a rather shaky smile at Niall before walking off, probably towards his bedroom.

Now that he was alone, Niall put his feet on the ground again because they had kinda gotten numb, hoping that he wasn't smiling as stupidly as he thought he was, but then again, who could have blamed him really? Today had been such a great day and they had been cuddling on the couch the whole time after coming to Liam's apartment, there really was nothing else Niall could've asked for, like he felt as if all the worries from before had just gotten washed away the second Liam had told him he loved him back. It still hadn't fully sunken in yet, that they were finally calling this a relationship, because obviously they weren't behaving any differently, well, maybe Liam was more relaxed about things now, but the main thing was that Niall finally knew that he wasn't the only one who had completely fallen for the other boy, no, it was actually mutual.

As Liam came back, interrupting Niall's thoughts, he seemed a little nervous, also, he was carrying a plain white bag, not too big, so there weren't hints for Niall to figure out what it was beforehand, all he knew was that he really wanted to know now that it was so close. "Okay, um… I was thinking about what to get you for a while and I… I figured you would like this, because I guess pretty much everyone would and yours is, well… anyways, here you go."

Liam's words made no sense to Niall, but he still smiled brightly as the older boy sat back down next to him, hesitantly handing the bag over then, his fingers playing with the hem of his shirt, something he only did when he was really unsure and nervous, Niall needed to make sure his reaction to the present was right, so Liam would calm down again. "Thank you, I don't know what it is but I'm sure I'll love it just because it's from you."

"Yeah, I… I hope so." There was a nervous laugh that sounded a bit fake and Niall felt bad, quickly stretching a bit to press a quick kiss to Liam's cheek before settling back down to open the bag and find out what caused Liam such troubles.

Niall had the answer two seconds later, like he didn't even think about keeping his smile up for Liam or pretending that he wasn't shocked about the present, because he sure as hell was. Oh god. "You… you bought me a new phone."

Not any phone, it was the same that Liam had, expensive as shit, one that Niall would've never ever bought for himself even if he could've afforded it, like he had an iPhone too but it was an older one, plus the screen was pretty cracked but he hadn't wanted to spend money on getting it repaired. So this was just leaving him speechless, like, he knew Liam had money, lots of it, but … he couldn't take this, why had Liam gotten him that, Niall would've literally been happy over some cookies. "Yeah, I… because yours is pretty… damaged and I.. I didn't want to like… buy you some stupid crap no one needs, because you really do mean a lot to me and I wanted to show you that I really am sorry and… yeah… " Shit.

Looking up slowly, still with the box in his hands, Niall felt a pull in his chest from how nervous Liam still was, torturing his bottom lip now, not even looking at Niall. He really had tried hard, he had really thought this would be a good idea, that he needed to buy Niall expensive stuff to show him that he was sorry and that he really liked him, it hurt more than anything to think about that Niall couldn't react in the right way to make Liam happy. It's just… if he accepted that phone, what else was Liam gonna buy him next? Niall didn't care about money or having tons of nice stuff, he just cared about that Liam was a truly genuine and sweet person. Just… how'd he tell him that without making him sad? "Liam, I… I know you put a lot of thought into this and this is so sweet of you, but I… I can't take this. Look, you don't have to buy expensive stuff to show me that you're being serious, or buy me anything at all, you don't even have to be sorry for what happened, I know you care about me."

"So you don't want it?" There it was, as Liam turned his head to finally look at the younger boy, Niall's heart broke, he just wanted to talk himself out of it, tell Liam that he was really happy about the present but he would've felt way too guilty. Just… why did Liam have to look so disappointed?!

"I… I just don't want you to think that I'm the kinda person that only cares about the things you buy me, like, don't get me wrong, please, Li, I really appreciate it, I just… I don't need anything like that to show me that you're being serious about this, it's just enough that you're you and that I know that you love me." The last part caused Niall's heart to flatter, only for a moment though because it couldn't have been more obvious that Liam felt really bad now after this, actually, he seemed close to tears and Niall couldn't believe it. 

"Alright…" And then, before Niall could think of something smart to say, Liam had snatched both the box and the bag from him, seriously getting up now, like, there's no way this could've gone even worse. "I… I'll put it back into my room and bring it back on monday or so…"

"Liam…." Yeah, there was nothing left to say, Niall just stared, unable to realise what had just happened, how suddenly complete happiness had turned into _this_ , but how could he have been prepared for Liam to buy him a bloody phone?!

Still, the younger boy didn't move or say a word as Liam left, deciding to use the time he was gone to think of what to say to make him smile again, because it really hurt, knowing he was the reason why Liam was feeling bad, Niall hadn't wanted this to happen, but how should he have reacted otherwise? He had had to tell Liam.

Feeling pretty shitty now, Niall actually treaded the moment Liam would come back again with that sad face while he still had no idea what to say, so it came quite convenient that he took way longer than expected. Actually, he took TOO long for just bringing something to his room. Great, he was pouting now, Niall knew that he was and it caused him to sigh slightly, like, he wasn't annoyed, he just felt bad and he had hated the fact that they had gotten into this situation after everything had gone so well. Why did things have to be so complicated all the freaking time?

Niall took his time walking over to Liam's room though, not even sure if his company was wanted over there, but then again, he couldn't just sit here while Liam was feeling shitty, it'd kill him, and besides, the older boy was always there for him as well whenever he didn't feel 100% alright.

As Niall slowly stepped into the doorframe, stopping there for a second so he wouldn't startle Liam or anything, his heart broke into a million pieces, he could actually feel the shatter in his chest, because if anything, Liam looked even more disappointed now while half lying on his bed, not even looking up but rather pretending to be busy with his own phone. "Hey… you didn't come back."

"Yeah, I… I just gotta, um… finish this text." A lie, obviously, but Niall nodded anyways though Liam couldn't see it, hesitating for only a moment until he realised that he was gonna go insane if he didn't solve this problem immediately. 

"Can we talk about it?" He tried carefully, slowly making his way over until he could sit on the edge of the bed next to Liam, who was rubbing his eye in a way that almost killed Niall, god, seeing Liam sad was probably the worst sight in the world, if he started crying Niall would never forgive himself.

"It's okay, I… I get it, don't worry." Then he shrugged slowly before putting his phone down on the bed, forcing the worst tiny smile the world had ever seen. 

Not knowing what to say, Niall went with his instinct instead, putting his arm over Liam to support himself while leaning over the older boy, not really thinking as he pressed a kiss to his jaw, then another on his cheek, just because. "I love you."

For a second, Niall almost thought he wasn't even gonna get an answer but then he felt Liam's fingers on his arm, leaning back to look into his eyes just as the other spoke, or whispered, more like. "I love you too, Nialler…"

Smiling, Niall couldn't stop himself from pecking Liam's lips as well before moving his arm, intertwining their fingers over Liam's stomach instead. "I'm sorry if I made you sad, Li, I didn't mean to."

"It's fine babe, I know…" Then he sighed a bit, looking away from Niall's face to watch their hands, rubbing his thumb along the younger boy's, speaking carefully, quietly, yet still causing Niall's eyes to fill with tears. "I just thought… I don't know. I'm not used to, um… being like this with someone, being someone's boyfriend, I mean. I was in a few relationships, yeah, but they all turned out to be a pretty big mistake and… you know I would never think of you as someone who only likes me for my money or whatever, but I guess I'm just… used to making people expensive presents kind of. And I like spending my money on you, because I know you'd never take it for granted and you're the most important thing to me and I wouldn't know what to do with it anyways… I just wanted to make you happy and I'm sorry if I went too far."

Speechless after this, Niall just stared at Liam for a few seconds, seeing the blush creeping back into the older's cheeks as he quickly looked down again, almost causing Niall's tears to spill over, Liam was the nicest and most selfless person on this damn planet. "You _are_ making me happy, Liam. I'm happy every day when I wake up and see you lying next to me or think about seeing you again, I've never been this happy before." 

"Me neither…" There was a smile tugging on Liam's lips as he suddenly started to move, pulling his hand out of Niall's, almost causing the younger boy to panic before he noticed that Liam was just making space for him to lie down as well, stretching his arms out towards the younger boy. "Come here, baby."

Not having to be told twice, Niall immediately cuddled into Liam with a grin on his face, relieved that the tension was broken, that Liam immediately wrapped him into a tight, warm hug, turning both of them onto their sides so they could look at each other. "You know… if you would've said it's a Christmas present, like, not a present for just in between then… I wouldn't feel so bad about taking it."

"I was gonna get you something else for Christmas though." Pretending to pout while stroking Niall's fringe out of his forehead before smiling as he kissed the exposed skin, Niall snuggled in closer, moving his arm to wrap around Liam's waist. 

"What did you want to get me?" Just asking, Niall still didn't know what to give to Liam either, it was hard picking a present for someone like him somehow.

For a moment, Liam tried to be serious, but the corner of his mouth twitched, giving him away before he had even said anything. "Oh, I was thinking a car maybe."

"Liam!" Immediately knowing it was a joke, Niall couldn't help but laugh as he playfully shoved Liam, not hard though, he was too weak anyways.

"Okay, okay, I was joking, I don't know what yet." Smirking, Liam pecked the younger boy's lips now, wrapping his legs around one of Niall's to make sure they were closer, not that that was any possible.

"Let's make a deal." Niall hadn't really thought about saying this out loud, but he had and it was too late to take it back because Liam was already looking at him with a questioning stare, making such a cute face that Niall almost buckled in and kissed him again without ever talking on. "I'll take the phone, but only if you don't get me anything else for Christmas."

"But that's not fair." Liam whined, causing Niall to giggle as he suddenly turned them once again, so that he was on top of the younger boy, keeping his weight on his elbows but still causing their bodies to be pressed together in all the right ways.

"You can also wrap it up if you want to." Because somehow Niall wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let Liam take the phone back, like, he knew that the older boy didn't desperately need the money, plus he wanted to make him happy and this solution seemed to be perfect.

Considering it for a while, Liam continued to play with a few strands of Niall's hair before carrying on to stroke his face absently with his fingers, suddenly starting to smirk. "Let's make another deal, you take the phone, I won't give you anything else for Christmas and you have to kiss me one hundred times before you can have it." Then, before Niall could agree to this with a dumb smile on his face because damn, Liam was making his heart melt with his cuteness, the older boy kissed him gently, keeping his thumb rubbing across Niall's cheek slowly and causing the blonde's arms to wrap around his neck immediately, wanting to keep him as close as possible. "Ninety nine now."

"I love you so much, Liam." Niall couldn't hold back but just blurt out with it as they pulled apart, laughing in between though, not out of amusement but because he couldn't believe that he had gotten such a great boyfriend, that he was all Niall's and no one else's.

"I love you more." Before the younger boy could protest, Liam had already cut him off by kissing him yet again while the butterflies in Niall's tummy were going crazy, he wouldn't have expected Liam to add the 'more' really, it was the best feeling ever. "Ninety eight. I also have another condition."

"And what would that be?" Feeling a bit lightheaded, Niall moved a hand, brushing his fingers through Liam's brown hair as he lovingly stared up at him, cupping his cheek then and giggling like an idiot as the older boy turned his head to kiss Niall's palm. 

"You show me how to make those cookies you wanted to bake so desperately on thursday." Was he being serious, god, Niall was gonna start crying or something, he couldn't believe someone was being this sweet to him, the fact that Liam was seriously smiling down at him as if he really wanted to bake cookies now was enough already.

"I'd say that's the best deal we could agree on, Li." Probably the best deal anyone could _ever_ agree on.

"I know." Kissing Niall once more, Liam sat up then with a smirk, giving Niall a second to just stare up at him and admire him, like, not his body or appearance or whatever, just _him_ , the way he was, the way he treated Niall as if he was the best thing to ever happen to him, there was nothing in the world Niall would have traded this feeling of being loved so deeply for.


	9. Chapter 9

"Nice phone, Nialler, how come I've never seen that?" Really, if Liam would've known it would conclude in this, he would have thought twice before buying Niall a new phone, which he should've done anyways actually, but then again, after Niall had given him the required amount of kisses and Liam had wrapped the phone up, the younger boy had seemed pretty excited all of a sudden. Something that had made Liam more than happy of course, he had realised how stupid he had been to think Niall would forgive him for what he had done because he bought him expensive stuff, one of his girlfriends a few years back had been this way and Liam felt guilty for just thinking the same thing would work on Niall.

Of course Niall couldn't have cared less about Liam's money, he just truly and really cared about him, _loved_ him, and as Liam had sat at home alone that friday night, letting a few tears spill over because of how bad he had felt and how deeply he had missed the younger boy, he had somehow figured out that he loved him as well.

Ever since Niall's panic attack a few days had passed and Liam was the happiest he had ever felt, of course he was kinda more protective about the younger boy now, both because of what had happened, but also because he was officially Liam's boyfriend and he would've never thought that being able to say something like this could make him so incredibly happy. Why hadn't they done that sooner? Oh, right, because Liam was an idiot.

Right now though, he couldn't think of anything anymore that would cause him worries, Niall obviously didn't mind if he had work to do or was busy, even if he had cut those things a bit shorter now to spend more time with the younger boy, and allowing Niall to sleep over during the week was the best decision he had ever made. Hell, he was so in love with this boy, Liam couldn't even wrap his head around it, he just wanted to constantly hold and kiss him and tell him how much he meant to him because he had never felt that urge with anybody else, Niall was just simply perfect, always happy and caring and sweet, it seemed impossible that he could ever like Liam back, but he did apparently, and there was nothing in this world that could have felt better.

"It was a Christmas present from Liam." Niall announced happily, grinning over at Louis who apparently hadn't seen the phone until now though they lived together. Maybe the reason for that was the fact that Liam didn't want to let the boy go home to his dorm anymore, he just wanted to have him around constantly, even more than before. Also, Liam was kinda a bit paranoid, after getting a call from Harry with Niall's phone, having to find out the person he cared the very most was having a panic attack at 3am and he hadn't been there had gotten Liam terrified of it ever happening again. It didn't fit to how Niall usually was, so happy and always laughing, it made things even worse to see him crying and shaking.

"Didn't know Liam is old enough to be your sugar daddy." Right, Harry was the last person on earth who should've ever been told about the phone, but it was too late now.

Before Liam could say anything, though he was used to the banter anyways and didn't care that much, Niall immediately sat up straighter under Liam's arm, letting his phone sink as he almost snapped at Harry, immediately cutting his and Louis' laughter off. "Jealous because he won't buy you things?"

"I can pay for my own things." Harry grinned, there was no way to start a serious fight about something like this with him, especially not if you were Niall, because Liam knew for a fact that his best friend saw the blonde boy as not older than 15. "Anyways, it's not even Christmas yet, it's bad luck if you give someone their presents early."

"You just made that up!" See, that was the thing though, sometimes Niall really did behave like a child, it was kinda funny, but Liam was trying really hard not to laugh right now because Niall was just defending him here. 

"Whatever you say, Niall." Then Harry winked at the younger boy before turning back to a cackling Louis, leaving it up to Liam to cheer his now pouting boyfriend up.

They were in the train, all of them together, to go to Niall's and Louis' hometown for Christmas break (or more like, having taken a few days off in Liam's case) and Liam would've been lying if he had said that he wasn't nervous as hell about meeting Niall's family. There were still a few hours left but ever since waking up this morning and packing his stuff, he had really started to think about it. Like, he couldn't make a bad impression or something, Niall was so excited about it and it was so sweet, Liam really wanted all of this to work out exactly how the younger boy wanted it to. Which made it a priority for Liam to immediately jump in whenever Niall was not 100% happy and cheerful, like right now.

"Hey, just ignore him, babe, he's always like this when he's trying to impress someone." Although, Harry didn't really have to impress Louis anymore since they were kind of attached by the hip anyways, which was fine for Liam now because him and Niall were at least as much over each other as their best friends.

"Hm." Was all Niall made, moving around on his spot for a bit, trying to get more comfortable probably, snuggling deeper into Liam's side before putting his head on the older's shoulder, immediately causing Liam to tighten his arm protectively, ignoring the other two as he pressed his lips to the top of Niall's head. Touches really weren't his problem anymore. "Liam…"

"Yes?" A little confused, Liam stopped glaring at Harry over the short distance, not getting much out of his best friend anyways other than an amused look before he'd lean over to whisper into Louis' ear, causing both of them to giggle stupidly. Still, even though Liam was kinda annoyed right now, he was still aware of how lucky this whole situation was, that they ALL got along so well, it seemed actually impossible that this could work out, but it did somehow.

"I wanna hold your hand." Niall's voice was more quiet than usually, he sounded really sleepy actually, which maybe had as a reason that he had slept over at Liam's tonight, not going to bed until 2 am and maybe even later because that's when Liam had passed out to Niall still expressing his excitement about today. He was the cutest boy in the whole world for sure.

Feeling a smile forming on his face, Liam didn't hesitate before intertwining the fingers of his free hand with Niall's, feeling a lot warmer all of a sudden as the younger boy put them in his lap, wrapping his other hand around Liam's as well, letting out a tiny sigh that sounded more content than frustrated. "Are you sleepy, Ni?"

"No, I'm fine… I should've maybe gone to bed earlier though, but I couldn't sleep because I was really excited." Of course that had been the reason, Liam pressed another kiss to the top of the boy's head, glad to see that Louis and Harry were too busy anyways, leaving him all the time in the world to focus only on Niall. 

"You could've woken me up, I don't want you having to stay up alone and being all bored." Well, Liam doubted that he would've managed to keep his eyes open because he had been knackered, but he still felt bad now, even if he got a very cuddly boy pressing into his side as a consequence.

"No… I wasn't bored, watching you sleep is very entertaining anyways, and I didn't want to wake you because I know you were really tired and I like kissing your face when you don't notice it." Apparently he also liked to make Liam's face red, even though he giggled into his shoulder immediately afterwards, turning even more into him, if that was any possible, probably not, but Liam tightened his arm anyways, gently threading his fingers through the blonde hair.

"Well, I… I guess we have that in common then." Though Liam was pretty sure he had a lot more reasons to do something like this because Niall was incredibly adorable when he slept, it also got his stomach flattering slightly thinking about that the younger boy might really feel the urge to do things like these the other way around. "You can still take a nap though if you want… we'll be in here for a few more hours, right?"

"Yeah, like three or something, but I kinda don't wanna sleep in because I don't wanna know what these two will do then." Niall had almost whispered now, so that only Liam could hear it, but then he also yawned rather loudly, so the older boy wasn't very sure whether Niall was gonna be able to keep his eyes open for much longer.

"Don't worry about that, I'll make sure they don't do anything, I'll watch out for you, Ni. I always do." Kinda thinking that this was something Niall should've known anyways, Liam was still happy as the younger boy lifted his head for a moment, stretching a bit to kiss Liam's lips softly before going back into his original position, squeezing the older's fingers. How did he manage to make Liam smile so dumbly all the time with just a tiny peck?

"I know, Liam… " It was barely more than a breath, also, Niall's voice got numbed by Liam's shirt too, but he sounded a lot closer to sleep than being awake now, obviously having decided that he trusted Liam enough as to take a bit of a nap, he could need it. "I'm so happy right now."

For a second, Liam was a bit surprised by the younger boy speaking up again, but since he had still not stopped smiling, it seemed even more impossible now, to know that the other boy had been saying this because he felt happy having Liam around, and sure, of course it probably was partly because he got to get home, but the way he was clinging onto the older boy and cuddling into him was reason enough for Liam's stomach to do a flip. "Me too, Nialler."

Of course he was, for as long as Niall was happy, Liam would be too, he didn't use to get so attached to someone else, but it was just different with them, Liam couldn't put his finger on it and he also didn't really feel like analysing it because the most important part was that things couldn't have been anymore perfect than they were right at this second.

Since he couldn't see the other boy's face, Liam didn't know whether or when Niall slept in, fact was that he got a bit heavier and stopped talking, still keeping Liam's hand between both of his though, not moving even as Liam rested his cheek on top of the blonde boy's head, staring out the window without taking much notice of Harry and Louis laughing about whatever silly it was they had come up with now, Liam wasn't bothered by it for as long as it didn't wake up Niall.

It had started snowing a few days ago, not as much as it was now outside of the train, but it had been enough for Niall to bring out his beanies and gloves, making Liam wish that it would never be Spring again because the younger boy looked way too good and also cute in his winter clothes. Also, he usually got a really red nose from being outside for too long and there was literally nothing in the world that gave Liam a warmer feeling than opening his door and finding his red cheeked boyfriend making a pouty face because of the cold but immediately lightening up once Liam told him he had already made him hot chocolate. With whipped cream, because apparently, Niall couldn't live without and Liam was more than happy to do anything the younger boy wanted.

"Liam, I hope you're prepared for staying at Niall's house, his mum always makes so much food when he comes home, it's insane, and she's gonna make you eat everything as well or she'll be mad. Happened to me once, but then Niall ate my plate empty too so it was fine in the end." Unwillingly, Liam lifted his head to look over at Louis, who seemed to be quite serious about that story, having given Liam the confirmation now that the blonde boy really was asleep or he would've already interrupted to protest. "And it's Christmas as well, she's gonna make even more."

"I guess I'm gonna survive, Niall can eat my plate empty as well." And he would, if what Louis said was true, because Liam got full way too quickly, it did make him nervous now to think about that, he didn't want Niall's family to get mad or anything. "And if that's the only problem…"

"Yeah, that and the fact that Niall always has pints with his dad in the evening, and they always watch footsie too, so I hope you're fan or this is gonna get pretty boring." Was he trying to scare Liam away?! Not that he cared about Niall having pints and watching TV with his dad, actually, Liam would just settle for watching the boy's face instead of the screen. "But the good thing is, I'm 99% sure his parents won't even say a word about you and him sleeping together in his room."

"What about _your_ parents, Lou?" Harry threw in, just having listened until now and not giving Liam a chance to express his nervousness about this whole thing, he hadn't even considered that Niall's parents maybe wouldn't want them to sleep in one bed, but Niall had always talked about how Liam would stay in his room so he had just assumed that it'd be fine.

"Um… as long as my sisters don't see you walking into my room at night we should be fine. Unless you wanna see them looking at you and giggling like the little brats they are in the morning. But my parents won't mind, actually, I think my mum even washed my bedsheets yesterday." Right, this was the kind conversation Liam didn't want to listen to, or see those grins on their faces, because he knew that Louis and Harry had gone a bit… further than him and Niall. Not that any of this was good or bad, just, Liam didn't wanna talk about it really, not with them. Sure him and Niall had done things too, but the furthest they had ever gone had been a few hand jobs ever since after their 'fight', nothing too crazy. Like, Liam knew Niall wouldn't have minded going further, and it's not that Liam was scared or anything, he had slept with a guy before, but it was just, Liam first of all wasn't someone to immediately have sex with somebody, and though he had known Niall for a while now, he still had never found the perfect opportunity for it, he didn't just want them to sleep with each other, he kinda wanted it to be special, even if that sounded sappy as hell, it's just who Liam was.

"Do I wanna know what happened in there before me?" God, why were they so open, Liam had to forcefully turn his head away now so he wouldn't blush for listening, burying his face in Niall's hair instead, placing another kiss.

"Nothing happened, Niall slept over a few times because I have a double bed and he drooled all over the mattress and my arm once, it was pretty gross." Almost having to laugh, Liam held back as he felt the younger boy move against him, letting out a noise that sounded like a sigh before mumbling something barely understandable, half asleep.

"'s a lie…" Though it had been pretty quiet, the other two still started laughing while Liam immediately held on tighter, still surprised that Niall had been listening and not fast asleep like he would have thought he had been.

"Well, you gotta say that now, Nialler, because you're having your mouth awfully close to Liam's clothes." Which was true, and Liam did actually look down to check whether Niall was drooling or not, even though he should've known that he normally wasn't, considering the amount of times he had had the boy sleeping on top of him.

"Shut up, Lou…he's not gonna push me off anyways…'cos he loves me… drooling or not…" There were multiple pauses in between Niall's words because he had to probably think about what to say, almost only sighing everything out, his grip around Liam's hand constantly loosening and tightening, probably not even having his eyes open right now.

"I do…" Liam mumbled without even thinking about the consequences, it's just that he really wanted the younger boy to know that he was right, immediately getting blushed cheeks as he realised that everyone else had heard him as well.

"Aww, you guys are so cute, I'll make sure to stay close to the bathroom on Christmas to throw up when you come downstairs in matching jumpers or something." The funny thing was though, Liam could imagine Harry and Louis doing the exact same thing, but he kept his mouth shut as they continued making up impossible scenarios about him and Niall getting domestic after Liam staying over for like a day, considering the amount of times they had cooked and done the dishes together, they somehow already were. Not that Liam was gonna complain about that, it was embarrassing how much he enjoyed thinking about it. 

For some reason, Niall decided to sit up then, letting go of Liam's hand to rub his eyes with his knuckles like he always did before blinking sleepily at the older boy, immediately putting a smile onto his face and leaving Liam no choice but to try and sort the messy hair out a bit with his now free hand, unnecessarily stroking his face too because tired Niall was the cutest thing ever. "Liam… do you mind if I lie down? I'm really tired now and you always make a good pillow…"

"Of course not, you should take a nap anyways." God, Liam loved the fact that Niall always wanted to be close to him and be held when he was sleepy, one time Liam had had to finish reading a book for uni and Niall had yawned every fifty seconds, refusing to go to bed though before simply crawling over to sit on Liam's lap and seriously falling asleep there. Of course Liam had quickly forgotten about that stupid book, he had just sat there with his arms around the younger boy, listening to his even breathing, wondering why he had never pulled Niall onto his lap before.

"Okay…" Not really being his excited self right now, Niall still smiled weakly as Liam kissed his forehead, and then his nose too just because he couldn't resist.

The good thing was that barely anyone was on this train, so Niall had it easy slipping his shoes off and moving to lie down over two seats, with his head in Liam's lap in the crook of his arm, face turned towards him, away from Louis and Harry, for good reason probably, curling up a bit. "You need a blanket?"

"'m fine, Li, thanks…" His hot breath brushed Liam's bare skin as he mumbled, eyes shut now, probably already close to drifting off, Liam could tell because he could stare down at the younger in this position, probably smiling stupidly while watching him, stroking up his arm and shoulder, his cheek, anywhere he could reach really, it was hard not touching this boy the whole freaking time. "I love you…"

"I love you too, babe, so much, sleep tight." Trying to be quiet though the other two weren't paying much attention anyways, Liam thought about how he could get used to this, like, it hadn't fully sunken in yet, but his belly was doing flips, both because of what Niall had just mumbled before kissing the inside of Liam's elbow lazily, but also because hell, he'd get to be around Niall 24/7 for so many days in a row now, something they had never done before, but Liam couldn't fucking wait, even if that involved meeting Niall's family. But why be nervous, if they were anything like the blonde boy, Liam shouldn't have anything to worry about. Well, and even if they were the worst people in the world, he still had the younger boy all to himself to cuddle up to at night, that alone was definitely worth it.

 

—————

 

"Don't be nervous, Li, it's just my mum and dad you know, everyone else only arrives tomorrow evening, it's fine." It wasn't fine at all really, because Niall's parents were exactly the reason for Liam's heart to start bumping a little faster, he didn't get along with his own, how would he get along with someone else's parents?

"I… I'm not nervous, just…" He just felt a bit like throwing up, that was all, even despite the fact that Niall was holding his hand tightly and grinning up at him with his more than precious dimple showing, no sign of being sleepy anymore. Well, he had almost slept three and a half hours in Liam's lap before, not even waking up when Louis and Harry had been extra loud, which maybe was because Liam had made sure to cover the boy's ear with his hand in hopes he'd get the rest he needed. Seemed to have been a success.

The reason why they were walking to Niall's house by foot now was because one, his parents' car had a few issues apparently, and two, Niall had kinda acted so excited about seeing his hometown all snowed in that Liam hadn't really thought about it, kinda consumed with different worries than having to carry their whole stuff, each their own though, Liam had told Niall he'd take his bag as well, but the younger boy had refused with a laugh and a kiss on Liam's cheek, telling him he was sweet. "It's gonna be fine, Liam, I promise. My mum is really excited to meet you and she's always liked everyone I brought home."

"That's not very calming, Nialler… how many people have you brought home?" They had never talked about this before, but Liam couldn't really think clearly about it either because he also had to somehow try and calm his heart beat and also hold Niall's hand extra tight because the ground was quite slippery.

"Two, but don't worry about it, wasn't anything serious, and I meant normal friends as well, my mum likes everyone, trust me." Not very sure wether Niall was just saying this to make sure Liam wouldn't die of a heart attack, he still forced himself to a smile as the blonde boy looked up at him with a grin, his cheeks and nose having gotten red once again, which wasn't much of a surprise seeing as they had been walking for about twenty minutes already. "I almost forgot how nice it is here when there's snow, I gotta come home more often." 

It really was pretty, Liam couldn't deny that, there were hardly any people or cars on the streets, barely any sounds, it seemed as if it was just the two of them for now because Louis lived a few minutes into the other direction and thinking about that was somehow getting Liam's upset stomach to calm down a tiny bit. "I'd miss you a lot though."

"You'd come with me of course, I wouldn't even survive not seeing you for more than two days." Lucky for his face probably already being red anyways, Liam allowed himself to smile, for real this time, feeling a bit warmer as Niall briefly leaned his head against his arm. "Or maybe not even two days, one day is enough already." 

A few days ago, Liam would've felt weird for hearing things like this, Niall expressing his attachment so openly, but it caused him nothing but butterflies now, to know that he was allowed to call this boy _his_ and that he wasn't the only one crazily in love with the other, no, it was mutual and honestly, how had Liam ever survived refusing to call this a relationship?! "Lucky for you I can't even properly sleep in without you anymore."

After blurting this out, Liam kinda regretted it for like five seconds, of course not being able to take it back now, pretending to clear his throat then, do it off as nothing though it was more than true, he really had trouble sleeping without a certain blonde boy curling into his side or around him. "Aww, Liam, I love sleeping in with you as well, and my bed at home is so small I'm gonna have to lie on top of you anyways."

Niall was so ridiculously happy about this, maybe Liam shouldn't have stared as much as he did and rather watched his steps instead but he just couldn't draw his eyes away from the other boy's face, barely able to get over the fact that he was excited about not having a lot of space to sleep in a bed, how abnormal was that? Not very, considering everything else Liam would do to be close to this boy, he should've been scared about all of this happening so suddenly and completely out of nowhere, but whenever he looked into those blue eyes, he simply couldn't bring himself to care just one single bit.

Niall's house turned out to be the one at the end of the street, Liam knew even before they got there because the younger boy got even more excited getting closer before pointing it out to Liam in between his one billion stories about everything you could possibly come up with talking about your high school time. Which amused Liam even more because it had only been a few months ago for Niall, but it also kinda made him a bit sad, because it did sound a lot as if Niall was missing his home very much, so the older boy was still happy about them being here now, even if his sickness from before came back full time the closer they got to Niall's house, like… would his parents really be okay with that? That their son dragged home some strange 22 year old guy, because let's be honest, Liam really didn't behave his age most of the time, he was pretty stuck up actually thinking about it, which he really didn't wanna do because that would just end in his usual 'why the fuck does Niall even like me' worries and he really couldn't have that right now, he was feeling bad enough already.

"You know what, I'm just gonna get my keys so we don't have to stand here and wait for someone to open up then it'll just be as if we normally come home, alright?" Though Niall was being very thoughtful half jumping up the front porch and pulling Liam with him by his hand, his words weren't as easing as he had probably hoped, making things even worse by letting go of Liam to drop his bag, half falling on his knees then to dig around for his keys. 

"We should probably just ring the doorbell, Nialler, I'm gonna be fine and it's freezing out here." Not that Liam cared so much about the cold if that meant he got to uselessly stand around for another few minutes, but he did care a lot about Niall's health.

"No wait, I…" The younger boy didn't even make any attempts to stand back up, having both his hands in his open bag now while Liam just watched, trying to figure out something smart to say that wouldn't make him seem as if he was trying way too hard, like, this wasn't a business meeting after all. "Ha! Got 'em."

After Niall had gotten his keys out from the depths of his bag, Liam flashed him a quick, very fake, smile, lucky for the cold suddenly because it gave him an excuse as to why his hands were shaking. Not because he was scared, no, not at all. "Um, Niall, what's your mum's-"

Name again, that's what Liam had suddenly remembered he had wanted to ask last second, but the younger boy was already turning the key, apparently not catching Liam's words, maybe also because they came out too fast and he almost forgot how to speak in between and then it was too late because Niall half fell over his bag and through the door as soon as he had it open. "We're here! Mum!"

Sure, Niall's voice being way too loud because he was so damn excited was cute, but Liam barely realised what was going on, he even forgot to help Niall getting his stuff inside, his movements almost robotic as he followed after the younger boy, suddenly feeling quite shy, wishing he could've held Niall's hand again as soon as he closed the door behind them slowly, taking a deep breath as he heard someone coming around the corner, not even able to catch another look at his boyfriend's face. "Well, hello, boys, was the train late?"

"Yeah, a few minutes, sorry, is the food cold now?" Of course, that's all Niall cared about, or pretended to at least because he and his mother were both laughing before hugging each other, tightly as well, while Liam just stood there, smiling a bit now because they were clearly happy to see each other, still having nervousness pooling in his stomach.

Niall's mum looked really nice, she was shorter than Niall and they didn't look very much alike either as far as Liam could tell by only throwing one look at her before she had already been hugging her son. But really though, why had Liam managed to forget her name?! Thank god Niall's dad was probably somewhere else in the house and not here, dealing with one parent alone almost caused Liam a heart attack already.

As they pulled apart after a few seconds, Niall kissed her cheek, leaving his arm around her shoulders before turning around so they were both facing Liam, the biggest grin ever on his face, it seemed as if his cheeks might fall apart. "Mum, that's Liam, my boyfriend."

He said the last word with so much pride that Liam felt even his ears getting hot, slowly stretching out his hand because that's the only appropriate thing he could think of currently, he was so good at talking to strangers at work meetings, why did he have to mess up here? "Um… pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Horan."

It would've been rude to call her by her first name anyways Liam decided, besides, it was too late now, and his hand was slightly shaking as he tried his best to not look away, waiting for an answer, feeling a bit better because her smile hadn't faded yet while looking at him. Actually, all she did was slightly bumping her elbow into Niall's side, face remaining as happy as could be, saying the most unexpected thing Liam could've thought of. Well, apparently no one else's parents were as stuck up as his. "Good job, honey, now I believe that he really is a model like you said."

"Mum!" At least Liam wasn't the only one embarrassed anymore, Niall's cheeks were terribly blushed because of his mum just blurting out with this stuff, obviously he hadn't wanted Liam to know that he had been talking about him.

"Oh come on, Niall, it's a compliment." She let go of him then, coming over to Liam and simply ignoring his out stretched hand, which made him look pretty dumb by now anyways, like, he had just kinda frozen in place in hopes that his face would stop burning up, not really expecting a hug from Niall's mum, but he got one anyways, barely leaving him any time to return it. "It's lovely to meet you as well, Liam, especially after you were the only topic Niall would ever wanna talk to me about on the phone."

"That's not even true…maybe once…" Niall mumbled somewhere in the background, it sounded quite guilty though and he managed to get Liam a little more relaxed at that, letting out a short laugh as he faced Niall's mum after she had let go again, still not sure what to say. 

"Anyways, call me Maura, Liam, and feel just like you would at home, alright? We're very happy to have you here, love. And Niall, your dad is in the kitchen and dinner is almost ready, so be quick if you wanna go upstairs." She touched Liam's arm shortly before turning back to her son, still with that welcoming smile one her face. Why again had Liam ever been worried about meeting Niall's parents?

"Yeah, we'll just get our stuff to my room… " Still a bit pouting because of what his mother had said, Niall zipped his bag back up because it had still been open, before attempting to get the strap back over his shoulder, but Liam acted without really thinking about it, taking it out of the younger boy's hands.

"Let me carry it upstairs at least if you didn't let me before." Because the whole way here, Liam had been kinda worried about Niall getting crushed by his too big bag, though it wasn't even that heavy now that he was carrying both his and the younger boy's, but it looked very heavy on Niall because he was quite noticeably smaller than Liam.

"Li, I got it, it's okay." Trying to protest for a bit, the blonde boy quickly gave up then as Liam just didn't let go, using his strength against Niall until he pretended to be pouting, not protesting though as Liam chuckled and pressed a kiss to his temple, completely having forgotten his worries. "I'm not that weak, you know, it's not like I'm gonna break my back or something."

"Just do me the favour, please, Nialler?" For some reason, Liam was in a really good mood all of a sudden, because Niall was happy to be home and it kinda infected Liam, plus his nervousness had completely vanished, sure, he still had Niall's dad to meet, but right now he had even forgotten about Maura still being there and watching them as he had kissed her son's face.

"You boys are cute, let him carry your bag Niall, he's just being a gentleman." With that, and another 'Mum!' from Niall because he hadn't noticed that she had still been here, his mother left while laughing, probably going back to the kitchen and leaving Liam alone with his slightly grumpy boyfriend. 

"Come on now, before she comes back and asks to feel your biceps or something." Niall seriously seemed pissed off now, causing Liam to laugh really loudly as the younger grabbed onto his wrist to pull him towards the stairs. "It's not funny, Liam, I told her not to say something like this and then she goes and still does it, it's so embarrassing."

"Aww, babe, come on, she was just being nice and teasing you a little, it's alright. And you don't have to be embarrassed that you talked about me with her, you know." Because actually, it was quite sweet and though Liam couldn't see the other boy's full face because he had let go of him now to walk up the stairs in front of Liam, the noise he made was enough for Liam to know that he was blushing now. 

"I was just excited to tell her… I swear I didn't brag about you being a model." Niall was so cute, Liam would've pulled him right into his chest and never let go again if he hadn't been carrying two bags, so he settled for smiling fondly at him once they had reached the top of the stairs.

"Its alright, Ni, don't worry about it, yeah? I mean it is kinda flattering after all." Happy that the younger flashed him at least something like a smile, Liam readjusted the strap of Niall's bag over his shoulder, looking around the house for a second. "So, where's your room?"

"Right, this way. Don't get disgusted right away if you find some things you might not want to see, I don't know if my mum ever entered it again after the day I left, but…. here we go." Pressing the door handle of the last room in the hallway down, Niall seemed to take a short breath as if he was nervous about this, his hand coming up to find the light switcher, taking a moment before allowing Liam to come inside after him. 

Niall's room was totally different from his dorm, it was bigger, and not messy at all, his walls looked a bit damaged though from putting posters up and taking them down again, they were still plastered with soccer players and photos and the flag of Ireland. His bed on the other hand wasn't any bigger than the one in his dorm, both were quite small, not that Liam minded really, he liked having the younger boy sleeping on top of him. "Looks pretty clean to me though."

"It is, I gotta thank my mum when we go back downstairs. Just drop the bags somewhere, okay?" While talking, Niall was walking across his room to open up a window before coming back with a big grin, obviously excited now and having completely forgotten before's conversation. "I gotta do something before we go, I even wrote myself a note so I wouldn't forget to pack it."

"Pack what?" Confused for a second, Liam let his own bag drop as well just as Niall fell to his knees to pull the zipper of his, once again digging through his stuff, just this time, he created a mess by throwing everything onto the floor. 

"Wait…" While the younger boy went through his things, Liam took the chance to walk around the room a little, looking at all the pictures on Niall's wall, which clearly stated that he was a teenage boy, not for much longer, but that he had been while still living here. It somehow caused Liam to smile, also because he was just happy to be here and happy that Niall had wanted to show him all of this, introduce him to his parents, it kinda was a really big deal the longer Liam thought about it. "Okay, I found it."

Turning around as he heard Niall's voice, Liam still didn't understand what the boy was up to going through the drawer of his desk before getting some tape out, holding something in his hand that looked a lot like the page of a magazine. "What are you doing, Nialler?"

"You'll see." The cheeky grin on his face couldn't mean anything good, so Liam followed as the blonde boy climbed onto his bed, obviously planning on hanging that thing up on the wall now. "You know, I've never been the guy to really have a thing for models, like neither female nor male, but it's hard to resist when it's my own boyfriend and when I was watching during that exact photoshoot."

"Wait a second, you…" Yes. Niall had bought Liam's dad's magazine, the one where they had printed that photoshoot he had let Niall attend, and then he had ripped Liam's page out to tape it to his wall. He had never been this blushed in his whole entire life. "Niall!"

"What? You look so hot there, Li, and how cool is that, it looks like you're really famous or something." The older boy was just there watching with big eyes as Niall seriously hung the page up before leaning back a bit to check whether he had put it up correctly before getting off his bed, smirking even bigger than before. "We gotta take a few more selfies too though, so I can print the pictures out and put 'em up there as well, and for my dorm too, okay? I bought the magazine twice though so I can put your page up there too, isn't that so cool?"

"No?!" Liam had no idea what to say, his eyes were still glued to the picture on Niall's wall, barely even noticing as the younger wrapped his arms around his waist from the side. Did he really think that photo was so hot he wanted to look at it every single day?

"I think it is, you did a really good job there, you know, I'm just proud of you and I like the picture a lot." See, when Niall was talking like this, Liam couldn't even ask him to take it down again, so he sighed instead, slowly wrapping his arm around the boy's shoulders, still not quite comfortable with what Niall had just done. "You mad at me?"

"No, I'm not, just… it feels pretty weird, like… I never really look at how the pictures turn out and it…. it's just weird to see it on your wall." Weird wasn't even the right word for it, but Liam forced himself to look away now, pressing a kiss on the top of Niall's head, trying not to be too freaked out by it but instead being happy about the fact that his boyfriend seriously thought that he was attractive enough to put his pictures up on his wall like a poster. 

"Well, I don't have to put it up in my dorm if it makes you feel uncomfortable." Lifting his head off of Liam's shoulder to look at him, still with his arms around his waist, Niall was smiling softly before getting onto his tiptoes to press their lips together, of course leaving Liam no choice but to tell him that it was fine, he would've let this boy do anything really. 

"No, it's fine, Nialler, just gotta get used to it I guess." And hopefully Harry and Louis would never find out about it, but then again, seeing Niall's face lightening up as he gave Liam another kiss, one that lasted a bit longer than expected.

"Okay… I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable, you know…" Barely having pulled away, Niall's lips were still brushing against Liam's while he spoke, kissing him again. "And I'm also happy that you don't seem nervous anymore." And again. "Because I love having you here with me and I'm still so excited that I could burst." And yes.

"Please don't burst, Ni, I kinda need you." Chuckling, Liam felt his cheeks getting red as the younger boy giggled against his mouth before fully pulling away, leaving one arm around his waist though, which was good because Liam kinda didn't want to let go of him either.

"I love you." The younger boy just said it like it was the most normal thing, squeezing Liam's waist before reaching out for the hand on his shoulder, turning his head to place a kiss there as well, as if Liam hadn't already had enough butterflies in his tummy. "Let's go downstairs, okay? You still gotta meet my dad, he's fun, I promise."

"Alright…" Barely able to draw his eyes away from the younger boy's smiley face, Liam caught himself grinning as well, with probably still red cheeks as he pulled the boy closer into his side. "I love you too, Ni."

"I know." But he was laughing while turning the lights off with his elbow, not loosening his grip on the older boy in any way luckily, because there was literally nothing Liam would've felt like doing less than even having half a centimetre of distance between them, he didn't even care anymore whether Niall's parents saw them being affectionate or not, like, his nervousness from before seemed more than ridiculous now.

As they came downstairs and into the kitchen, Niall had gone over to simply holding Liam's hand, tightly though, swinging their arms between them a little bit before flashing Liam a smile and letting go to go and greet his dad, who was sitting at the table reading some newspaper, but his face did brighten up as he saw his son. "Hey, dad, what's up?" 

Just like his mother, his dad didn't look very much like Niall either, but he looked just as friendly and Liam remained in the doorframe for a second to just watch them hugging, feeling a slight pinch because there had never been a time either of his parents had been so happy to see him. "So, you're gonna introduce your boyfriend to me as well?"

"Sure, that's Liam." There was the same grin on Niall's face as he pulled away from his dad and Liam slowly entered the kitchen, again stretching his hand out, this time he even got to actually shake someone else's in return.

"Nice to meet you, sir." Because well, Liam had forgotten his first name as well, but Sir was a lot more appropriate anyways right, like, he didn't want them to think Niall's taste in guys was horrible, it kinda was, but Liam couldn't exactly complain about that could he?

Before Niall's dad could even open his mouth, his mother walked back in with some plates, smiling at Liam before turning to her husband, immediately causing Niall to roll his eyes the second she spoke up. "Didn't I tell you he's more than handsome? And for once someone Niall brought over is even polite, I'm impressed."

"Mum, Louis is always polite too, that's a complete lie." Didn't sound too sure though, Niall shrugged to himself then before coming over to Liam again, grabbing a hold of his wrist as soon as his dad had let him go again, giving him a clasp on the shoulder as Niall pulled him away, around the table. "Sit here next to me or mum is gonna swoon over you even more if you end up between them."

"I wasn't the one swooning over him on the phone, honey." This was too funny, Liam was trying so hard not to laugh and make Niall mad, biting into the inside of his cheek to hold back as he watched his boyfriend getting even more blushed, letting go of Liam now to sit down.

"I wasn't either…" He grumbled, refusing to look at anyone and it was the cutest thing ever, Liam could've gone and hugged him for hours straight right now while peppering his pouty face in kisses, but he settled for smiling then as he sat down next to the boy, innocently letting his hand rest on Niall's knee to calm him, not really expecting the younger boy to immediately put his on top, still pretending to be mad though.

"Well you got every reason to anyways, I bet Liam doesn't mind it, do you?" Liam felt bad for not helping to hand out the cutlery and plates, but he couldn't really when Niall was clinging to his hand, making sure to be smiling instead and stay as polite as before because they seemed to like that and didn't seem to think he was stuck up for it.

"Of course not, I… it's very flattering actually." Smirking at Niall, Liam resisted his urge to lean forward and kiss his cheek, squeezing his fingers instead to maybe get him to cheer up a bit, and help him to cool his face down because he had gotten quite red. 

"See, Niall? I told you he's a gentleman." Well, Liam couldn't say he minded getting called that after being so scared to make a wrong impression, but it made Niall groan loudly, not saying his usual 'Mum!' this time though and just rolling his eyes now, reaching out with his free hand to play with his fork.

"Leave the boys alone, Maura, or Niall's not gonna bring anyone home anymore and it's getting pretty boring watching every match by myself." Niall's dad jumped in for the rescue, he was smiling though, obviously knowing the exact way to solve this argument and it seemed to work as well because the younger boy immediately cheered up. 

It was just what Louis had 'warned' Liam from before on the train, while Niall and his dad talked about soccer and how they were gonna watch the game later, his mum was putting way too much food on everyone's plate even as Liam carefully noted that he could never eat all of this but she just kept going anyways, telling him that it was alright if he didn't finish it, and all Liam could think about while still holding his boyfriend's hand under the table was that this alone was already 1 million times better than any visit at his own parents' house could've ever been.

 

—————

 

Having dinner with Niall and his parents was more fun than Liam could've ever imagined, he didn't even blush anymore as Niall told the story of them meeting in the supermarket and then immediately going over to bragging because his name had been on a coke bottle, as if that was something to truly get excited over, but Niall did anyways and his mum found it hilarious, so Liam couldn't help but smile along, barely ever able to draw his eyes away from the younger boy while he talked on and on just like he usually did, very obviously more than happy to be here and seeing him like this made Liam happy as well. Like, he loved this boy so much it was insane, he'd do anything to see him smiling like this all the time.

After they had finished eating, Liam offered to help with the dishes because he felt bad, something which Niall's mum found so sweet that she sent him right to the living room with Niall and his dad to watch TV. It's like, Liam wasn't even trying to be liked by them, he was just doing what he would normally do as well and it seemed to actually make a good impression.

Also, Niall only had one beer other than what Louis had predicted, it barely affected him either, he just maybe got a little bit sleepy and more cuddly after a while of yelling at the screen, but it was getting late too and Liam wasn't really surprised to look down at some point and find Niall deep asleep on his shoulder, fingers intertwined with Liam's, warming up his whole side and also stomach because of the adorable sight. Liam would never get over this, the fact that Niall always seemed to sleep so well whenever he was cuddled up to him, it was maybe the biggest compliment he could ever get, knowing somebody was feeling this safe around him and craving his presence.

"Did Niall sleep in?" Bobby, which Liam had found out was his name after being told to call him by his first name as well, asked in a rather quiet voice from the other couch, already reaching out for the remote as Liam nodded, not even feeling embarrassed as he lifted his free hand to run through Niall's hair, causing him to sigh a little in his sleep.

"Yeah, a while ago already." It wasn't too extremely late, maybe 10pm, but the train ride had been rather exhausting and Liam had to hold his yawn back to not come off as rude.

"Alright… well, we should probably all go to bed anyways. Can you handle this?" It was no secret what he meant, so Liam nodded again, trying to carefully move without waking the sleeping boy, having a rather hard time unclenching their fingers because Niall made some noise in his dreams, grabbing a hold of Liam's shirt instead, pressing his face further into his shoulder. "He's never brought anyone home this quickly, you know."

Immediately, Liam stopped whatever he had been doing to look at Niall's dad again, almost blushing as he realised he had been watching, but then again, he seemed more than alright with it. "I… I'm really happy that he asked me." 

"I'm really happy too because you seem to genuinely care about him, and it's obvious that he adores you, he's never acted this comfortable and affectionate with anyone before, just thought you should know." There was a smile before Bobby stood up, turning off the TV then, about to leave Liam with a bit of a surprised face. Was that true? That Niall wasn't this clingy and needy with anybody else, or had been before? Liam really hoped that it was, because it made him feel rather special, knowing for himself that he had never felt this comfortable with anyone before either. "Well, anyways, bring him upstairs safely, okay? Goodnight, Liam."

"I will… goodnight. And thank you for… for being so nice." Because he really did appreciate it very much, getting nothing back besides a sign over the shoulder before he was left alone with a sleeping Niall and a few butterflies in his stomach.

It wasn't so hard scooping the boy up into his arms bridal style, because Niall somehow automatically wrapped his arms around Liam's neck, adjusting to him even in his sleep, and Liam blamed it on the fact that he was being tired, but in reality, he just took this long to get to Niall's room because he needed to make sure to stare at him long enough, kiss his face anywhere he could reach, not really feeling like putting him down ever again. Like that one time Niall had slept in his lap, Liam wouldn't have minded if it had happened again.

All their stuff was still packed in their bags of course, it took a big step to get over it, so luckily Niall wasn't heavy in the slightest way because otherwise Liam would've dropped him right on the floor, feeling a smile on his face as he got to the boy's bed and saw the magazine page on the wall, almost having forgotten about it. For some reason though, he found it quite funny now, also it made him quite proud that Niall liked looking at him so extremely much.

Putting the younger boy down onto the bed was actually harder than picking him up before, mostly because Liam didn't even want to actually, he just wanted to sit on the edge of the mattress and keep on holding Niall in his lap, but it'd probably get uncfomortable for both of them after a while. "Liam…don't go…"

It was a tiny whine that immediately got Liam guilty for not being gentle enough to keep Niall asleep while lying him on the bed, but the younger boy luckily only curled up a bit, almost melting Liam's heart with how adorable he was snuggling with his pillow. God. "It's okay, baby, I'm here."

Right, but Liam was facing another problem now as he watched Niall sleeping for a second, which was that they were both still wearing normal clothes and he knew that there was nothing worse in the world than going to sleep in jeans, he really didn't want Niall to fee this uncomfortable.

So even though it caused him to blush a little bit, he attempted to gently turn Niall onto his back, causing the boy to sigh a again, not waking up though, not even as Liam started unzipping and opening the button of his jeans, very concerned with not doing anything wrong or like… accidentally pulling his boxers down as well, that really wasn't Liam's goal. Right now.

"Li… " Of course Niall had to halfway wake up at the worst timing ever, though Liam had actually managed to undress him by now, quickly throwing the blanket over him so he wouldn't be freezing before leaning over to kiss his forehead softly, hoping he'd go back to sleep. "Cuddle with me…"

"I will in a second, Ni, just let me change my clothes, okay? Take a nap meanwhile, I'll be right back." It was so hard to resist though, when Niall was talking in that sweet, tired and quiet voice, half mumbling with his eyes close, honestly looking like an sleeping angel and Liam didn't even feel bad about thinking this because every single person on this planet would've agreed with him.

"Nooo… now…" But Niall didn't fully wake up while complaining quietly, still breaking Liam's heart a little and making him feel like an asshole for pressing another kiss onto the boy's nose this time, making sure he was properly tugged in before stepping away.

"One second, babe." There probably was no need to hurry up because Niall seemed to barely realise what was going on, but Liam still had his shirt and jeans pulled off in record time, even managing to find his sweatpants right away as well though they had been in the depths of his bag. 

Just like expected, Niall was deep asleep as Liam came back after deciding that he should probably close the door as well and turn the lights off, almost falling on top of the younger boy then because he could barely see anything now, not very used to being in this room yet. 

Also, he had to actually fully climb over the younger boy, slowly attempting to lift the blanket then Niall had clenched to his chest, it wasn't that big either, just like the bed wasn't either, which wasn't anything bad though, it just meant they'd have to really cuddle up close to each other.

"What're you doing…?" Apparently all the moving had really woken Niall up now, but it was quite hard for Liam to really fully lie down when he was trying so hard not to wake Niall, accidentally bumping into him then of course.

"Lying down, I'm sorry if I woke you, baby, just close your eyes again." Or maybe he hadn't even opened them anyways, there was no point really, it was way too dark anyways.

"Lie on your back…" Niall half whispered, his voice sounding a bit raspy as he moved to create more space for Liam, kinda making things even more complicated than they had been before as he waited for maybe two seconds before pulling himself closer to the older boy, blanket half slipping off again, which Niall just ignored, all he seemed to care about was getting his arm around Liam's bare stomach, half lying on top of him and pressing his face into the crook of his neck. "Did you carry me upstairs?"

"Yeah…didn't wanna wake you, you seemed pretty tired." While talking, Liam made sure to get them in the most comfortable position possible, tugging them back in because he was way too worried about Niall's health 99% of the time. 

"'s the beer… alcohol makes me sleepy…" He mumbled hotly into Liam's skin, making the older boy laugh quietly as he wrapped both his arms around Niall, feeling the boy moving his leg in between Liam's so they could be even closer.

"Don't we all know that already…" There was huff coming from Niall while Liam chuckled, pressing a kiss into the blonde hair, gently rubbing his hand up and down Niall's arm. "You should probably try and go back to sleep, Nialler, I feel bad for waking you up."

"It's okay, Li…" Then he stayed quiet for a second before suddenly starting to move, wiggling around in Liam's arms until he had lifted his head and turned enough to look at the older boy's face, as far as that was possible in complete darkness. "I need a goodnight kiss first before I can sleep in again though.

God, he was so cute, Liam moved his hand up over Niall's shoulder, carefully, because he couldn't really see anything, until he could cup the boy's cheek, smiling secretly to himself as Niall leaned into the touch immediately. "Come here then."

Niall didn't have to be told twice, he accidentally kissed Liam's chin first, giggling into his skin before succeeding this time and pressing his warm lips on top of the older boy's, just lightly at first before apparently deciding that he wanted a real kiss, applying a bit more pressure, sighing as Liam kissed back, rubbing his thumb over Niall's cheek. 

He still did taste a bit like beer, but not too much, and it was fine because Liam wasn't really thinking about it anyways, he never was whenever they kissed like this, plus he hadn't expected them to start snogging when Niall had been completely passed out just five minutes ago. 

But it was good, just like it always was, causing tingles all over Liam's body, subconsciously holding tighter onto the younger boy, pleased with himself as Niall half groaned as he gently bit into his bottom lip, causing the younger boy to stop kissing him for a second so he could mumble against his spit slicked lips instead. "I love you… 'nd I'm so happy you came home with me… I couldn't imagine anywhere I'd rather be right now…."

"Me neither, Nialler…" And Liam really meant it as well, turning them both onto their sides as Niall lowered his mouth onto Liam's again, not so eager this time, giggling right against the older's lips because of them moving and maybe also because Liam was ticking his side a bit as Niall's shirt slipped up. "And I love you too, so much."

The only reason why they broke apart was because Niall had to suddenly yawn pretty badly, making Liam laugh softly as he brushed Niall's fringe out of his forehead, placing another kiss on the exposed skin before pulling him in closer, if that was any possible, arm tight around the boy's waist. 

"Let's go to sleep, yeah? You're tired." And Liam was as well, but he also didn't complain as Niall ignored him and pressed his lips on Liam's once more, then onto the corner of his mouth, chin, down his neck, before nuzzling his face there just like before, pressing himself closer into the older's body.

"How do you manage to always smell so good, Li? We didn't even go shower." His breath hit Liam's skin as he talked, still having his lips there, occasionally placing more kisses. 

"How do you always manage to be so cute, Niall?" A very good question actually, but it just caused the younger boy to giggle a bit, obviously liking the way he was trapped in Liam's arms, barely able to move either because Liam needed him this close, not wanting to ever let go again. "We should probably still go shower tomorrow morning though, but thank you for the compliment, babe…"

"Yeah we should shower… but we don't have a lot of warm water, might have to go in together, sorry, Li." He was so silly but so adorable that Liam just laughed, poking Niall's ribs gently and causing the boy to squirm, having nowhere to go though because of how entangled they were in each other.

"Close your eyes and go to sleep, Niall, before you say anymore weird stuff." Well, he said stuff like this all the time though so that wasn't exactly anything new.

"One day I'm going to get you into a shower with me, you just wait." And with that, he pressed a final kiss onto Liam's skin, relaxing completely against him and releasing a sigh at the older boy burying his face in the soft, blonde hair. 

"Whatever you say, baby, goodnight, sweet dreams." Because Liam knew that he was definitely gonna have some himself.

"Night, Li… sleep tight." It was amazing, the fact that his voice had already gotten heavy with sleep again, as if he might pass out any second.

And he did, just five minutes or so later, his breathing had gotten even again, body relaxed against Liam's while the older boy stayed up for a while longer, just to appreciate the moment, the fact that he got to hold Niall like this before going to sleep, being cuddled into each other under a warm blanket in a too tiny bed. This was the best feeling in the whole entire world, Liam was absolutely certain of that and he'd never ever get tired of this, maybe some things still felt new to him, but honestly, he couldn't even imagine how he had ever gone through life without having Niall right there by his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, 2 things.
> 
> One, I'm not sure if I can upload the next two chapters on time, I'm still only halfway done with chapter 10 & I should basically be studying all day (which I'm not I just took a 3 hour break cough) but I promise after the 22nd I'm gonna be able to finish this properly. (provided i'm gonna pass all exams but let's ignore that for a second.)
> 
> And two, after this story is done I'm thinking about writing a Hybrid oneshot (no seriously a oneshot, under 40K, i'm gonna force myself to not write more) and I'm not really sure whether I should do it but it's been stuck in my head for months now and I was just wondering if you guys think this is a good idea? Like Niall would be a cat hybrid and I'd basically just write fluff so ... let me know what you think.


	10. Chapter 10

Niall woke up feeling warm and humble, a smile forming on his face before he had even fully gotten out of his sleepy kinda state, curling further into those arms holding him, burying his face against Liam's bare chest like he had done so often by now, still kinda loving it more every day though, like, he hadn't woken up with someone else in so long before Liam and the older boy made him feel even better than he had any time before.

Knowing that the brunette wasn't awake yet because his breathing was still even, chest moving softly against Niall's, he kept his eyes closed as well for a little while, just enjoying this moment right here, recalling last night, immediately being filled with warmth and happiness. The fact that Liam had come home with him for Christmas meant such a great deal, but the fact that his parents really did like Liam already as well (maybe a bit too much) and that he hadn't seemed uncomfortable in any way at all was worth the world for Niall. He had always kinda been the family guy, so really, there was nothing he could have imagined that could've topped this Christmas break, he'd get Liam all to himself and in his bed for so many days in a row, it kinda seemed too good to even be true.

But it was, and proof was the warm body Niall was snuggled up to, the strong embrace around him keeping him close, not even loosening while they slept, it never did actually, Liam always kept on holding him the whole night through, pretty much making him the happiest person alive, no big deal really, Niall just felt his heart exploding with love whenever he looked at the older boy.

After half drifting off for about half an hour, Niall decided that he couldn't fall back asleep anymore, even if he had no idea how late it was anyways, but probably not afternoon because his mum would've already bursted in here telling them to get up. Something Niall had gotten annoyed about tons of times, but he was just so happy to be home, he wouldn't have even minded to have his parents seeing him cuddling in bed with his boyfriend. 

Propping himself up on his elbow, Niall slowly blinked his eyes open, rubbing at them with his fist before suppressing a yawn right into Liam's face, settling for staring instead, with a dumb grin on his face because the older boy really did look kinda cute when he was asleep, even in almost complete darkness. But hot as well, like, really hot, how did he manage to do that all the time without even trying?

"Hey, Li…" It was kinda unusual that the older boy was the one who slept longer, so Niall used his chance, moving a hand to run his fingers through the brown hair, not even trying to resist before leaning down to kiss Liam's cheek, letting his lips rest there for a while before moving them up, giggling softly as the other boy started stirring, his arm around Niall's waist tightening a bit. 

"…tickles…" Was the only reaction Niall got to his touches, though it wasn't even more than a breath, but also didn't cause him to stop, actually, Niall wanted to carry on peppering Liam's face with kisses even more now.

"I just can't resist when you're being so cute, Li, I'm sorry." Not really though, the blonde boy just continued with his treatment, not daring to do more than whisper though, trying to at least hold every second giggle back, but it was hard when he was being in such a good mood.

"Baby… lie back down…" Liam sounded more asleep than annoyed, but Niall decided to do him that favour, pressing a last kiss to the corner of the older boy's mouth, throwing another look at his face before getting down, with his back pressed against Liam's chest this time.

Almost immediately, the older boy tightened his grip again, letting a sigh escape as he nuzzled his face into Niall's neck, obviously happy to have him back as a pillow to squeeze and god knows Niall was more than happy about being whatever for Liam if that involved as much touching as it did right now.

For a moment, he just let himself being cuddled underneath the blanket, pressing back into his boyfriend, getting new goosebumps whenever the other boy breathed out hotly against his skin. Really, what could Niall have wanted more in life than this?

Definitely not his best friend interrupting, well, he didn't really, but it did hurt Niall's eyes for a second as his phone lit up on the bedside table and he didn't even have to check whether it was Louis, because let's be honest, who else would text Niall right now if Liam was with him in bed, obviously deep asleep again.

 

_Louis 10:43 am_

_hey, maybe if you and liam ever get out of bed we could do something? my sisters are making harry play barbie with them, we need a good reason to leave the house_

 

Sighing quietly, Niall felt bad because he had actually hoped Liam and him would never ever get out of bed. But then again, he had also made plans on showing the other boy around a bit and it'd only be positive if he got to help Louis out as well, besides, they usually always saw each other all the time anyways and Liam probably wouldn't mind at all.

After texting back an answer, telling Louis that they'd need an hour or two to be ready, Niall closed his eyes again for a minute, thinking about nothing else besides how good it felt to have Liam's arm wrapped so tightly around his waist, feeling him this extremely close, it really made Niall want to turn around, grab his face and just straight out snog with him for as long as both of them could manage without suffocating.

Like, they sometimes did that, yeah, they also went further, ever since that one night, but it never went past hand jobs really and Niall would be lying if he said he didn't want to do more than that, WAY more. It's just, he was still aware that pushing Liam wasn't a good idea at all, so he never really brought it up, kinda wanting the older boy to take the initiative, because if he didn't then that would mean he wasn't really ready for it, which was the last thing Niall would ever want.

So yeah, he was kinda desperate to get something going but on the other hand just feeling very lucky with what they already had, plus, Niall also kinda liked the fact that Liam wasn't someone to just straight go for it, he was thoughtful and careful, not mindlessly doing anything without considering the consequences like Niall would. Another reason why they really did make a great match, someone had to be the responsible one here right? 

As Louis texted back again a little while later, Niall couldn't suppress yet another sigh, this time not because he treaded getting out of bed so much and out of Liam's arms, but because of what his best friend had written him this time, of course doing it to tease Niall, because what the hell, Louis KNEW that Niall sucked at ice skating, why would he suggest it?

"'s the matter…?" Liam mumbled somewhere into Niall's neck, apparently having heard the younger boy expressing his frustration not too quietly.

"Nothing… Louis texted me." Niall half whispered back, still staring at the screen of his, new, phone without answering, never quite able to get over how awesome it actually was but feeling guilty at the same time for liking it so much. 

"Why?" He sounded more awake now as he moved a bit, pressing a kiss to Niall's skin where his mouth had already been before placing another between Niall's neck and shoulder, over his shirt, but still causing him to shiver a bit, especially when Liam rested his chin there to look over Niall's shoulder, yawning quietly.

"Ummm…" Considering to make up a lie for a second, Niall already felt bad just thinking about it, giving himself a push before speaking the truth, maybe Liam wouldn't even want to see the other two today. "He asked if we wanna hang out with them today, and go ice skating."

Or maybe he did. "Sure, why not?"

"Okay, I… I'm gonna tell him we'll be ready in… a few hours." Right, that was the minimum, Niall wasn't willing to give up his morning snuggles for his best friend, no one was gonna take that away from him.

"Good. Don't make it too soon though…" Apparently Liam felt quite the same as Niall, he pressed an unexpected kiss to the younger boy's cheek, his stubble scratching over Niall's skin and making him smile almost as much as feeling Liam's warm lips pressed against him. "Come back here, Ni."

Almost as soon as Niall had dropped the phone after writing a bit of a very ungrammatical sentence thanks to Liam's touches, the older boy pulled slightly, moving to lie onto his back and pulling Niall with him, loosening his arm for a second to allow him to turn around before half ending up on top of Liam. "Aww, do you want good morning cuddles?"

"I do…" Liam confessed, chuckling lightly though before yawning yet again, moving one hand to brush Niall's messy fringe out of his face, stroking his hair and cheek unnecessarily long afterwards before Niall decided he couldn't take it anymore, getting rid of the small distance between them to press their lips together in a warm kiss, not deepening it though because he was well aware that he hadn't brushed his teeth in a bit too long. 

"Good morning…" Niall mumbled after they had pulled apart for a second, keeping his eyes closed for now and enjoying the way their breath was mixing as he brushed his nose against Liam's, giggling softly because he really liked giving the older boy eskimo kisses, it always made Liam blush in the cutest way ever. Not that the darkness allowed Niall to really see anything, but he felt the arm around him getting tighter and maybe even Liam's heart beating a bit faster seeing as their chests were pressed together like this. 

"What are you laughing about, silly?" Of course Liam knew, he asked in a very fond way though, rubbing his thumb over Niall's cheek softly, then stroking his way up to the boy's ear, playing with the soft hair behind it and honestly, Niall could've fallen right back asleep.

"Nothing you're cute." Pecking Liam's mouth, the younger boy grinned to himself thinking about how red Liam probably was, putting his head down then, between Liam's neck and shoulder, closing his eyes as he breathed in deeply. 

"You're way cuter…" His voice was rather quiet though, because he was embarrassed now, that always happened and it made Niall smile even bigger if that was any possible, pressing another kiss to the side of Liam's neck. 

They didn't talk for a while, just kept on lying there, with their limbs all tangled up, feeling each other's chests move against one another, only one single layer of clothing in between, something that seemed to be quite a problem for Liam though. After evenly stroking Niall's hair for a while, he suddenly moved down his back, all the way to the hem of his shirt, not even hesitating for too long before slipping his hand underneath the piece of clothing, rubbing Niall's bare skin instead, just slowly, softly, without any intuitions of course, because that's who Liam was.

Still, it made Niall kinda wish the older boy would just pull it off of him altogether, like, it's not that he was only thinking about sex 24/7, but probably more often than Liam did anyways, which didn't mean that he couldn't just enjoy the tender touches because he really did, especially in the mornings and even more now because they were in Niall's old bed. Like, who would've ever thought that he'd ever get to lie here with another guy that he adored so incredibly much it had his heart swelling with love whenever he only barely thought about it?

"Liam…" Since Niall had his mouth almost right by the other boy's ear, he only had to slightly turn his head to almost have his lips pressed up against it, not exactly sure why he was even about to ask what he was about to, maybe he should've just gone ahead and seen what the outcome would be, but he didn't wanna startle Liam that extremely much. 

"Yeah…?" Liam still hadn't stopped his stroking, but his voice sounded a bit shaky as Niall kissed below his ear, gently nipping at his earlobe, kinda knowing what the older boy's reaction was gonna be anyways, because this would not be the first time Niall had suggested this.

"Let me blow you?" Immediately, there was tension going through the older boy's body, causing Niall to sigh internally, the hand on his bare back freezing for a second as Liam was obviously fighting for words, as he always did when Niall said those things actually, apparently still not having warmed up to the idea.

"Uh, I… I don't think that would… would be a very good idea…I mean, I… not that I don't want you to, just… we should probably shower and stuff and…" And nothing else came out of Liam's mouth after he had stumbled over his words at least ten times, so Niall lifted his head, not being able to make out much in complete darkness, but he somehow found Liam's mouth, kissing him softly, already having given up on his idea.

"Okay, you don't always have to try and find an excuse, you know, you can just say no, Li, it's fine." Maybe Niall should've stopped asking, but then again, if he hadn't done that the other night they would've never gone any further than snogging. "Anyways, I agree with the shower thing… we could still go in together, you know, just because, I think it'd be nice."

The reason why Niall was so keen on showering with Liam wasn't even because he wanted to get sexual actually, he just didn't feel ready to leave the older boy, even if it was just for a few minutes, and also … who wouldn't wanna shower with Liam, like, that wasn't even a possible questions to ask. "I… I don't know…"

"Think about it, I'll go and open the blinds, it's really dark in here." Though getting up was actually the least thing Niall felt like doing, he gave himself a push after remaining on top of his boyfriend for a while, climbing off of him and out of bed in the most clumsy way possible, not having gotten an answer yet.

Since Niall couldn't see anything at all, he almost fell over his nightstand trying to get to the window in a whole piece, hearing some shifting behind him in the bed that got him feeling a bit guilty, Liam always got really uncomfortable during these kinda conversations, and really red as well. 

The light hurt pretty bad as Niall got rid of the blinds abruptly, squeezing his eyes shut and quickly turning away from the window in order to not permanently lose his sight. "Shit… why do I never consider this?!"

There was no comment from Liam, after blinking a few times, Niall could see the older boy sitting up in bed now with the blanket pooling in his lap, shirtless, doing nothing more then shrug as their eyes met briefly before he looked away, of course with a slight, pink flush in his face that got Niall a bit softer.

"Hey… what's wrong?" Not that he didn't know, it just got Niall sighing internally as he slowly walked back to the bed before carefully sitting on the edge of the mattress, eying Liam with a bit of a worried feeling in the depth of his stomach. He wasn't being too pushy, was he? Maybe he should lay off a bit, and not constantly hint that he'd let Liam take him any way he wanted.

"Nothing, um, I…" Clearing his throat, Liam ran a hand through his hair, pretending that nothing was wrong as he looked back up, with a very faked, tiny smile on his lips, as if Niall didn't know him well enough already.

"It's fine, Li, you know, you just gotta tell me if I need to shut my mouth once a while, I'm just always suggesting these kinda things, but I'd never like, get mad or whatever if you say no, just asking." For some reason though, Liam didn't look relieved at all, he didn't even nod or anything, he just kept this very unusual expression on his face Niall didn't know how to interpret, he was about to reach out for Liam's hand, ask if he had gone too far, when the older boy suddenly spoke up.

"No, that's not… I was just thinking that, you know… I guess, it'd be kinda nice too, if we… go shower together." For a second, Niall thought he'd have to get his hearing checked before a way too bright smile formed on his face, hell, had Liam just seriously agreed?!

"Really? Then I think we should totally try it, to be sure." Though Liam's face was glowing red now, he still managed a not so shaky smile, it seemed somewhat real and that really was enough for Niall, hell, he wanted to do _everything_ with the older boy. 

"What about your, um, parents?" Making some gesture with his hand, Liam was obviously trying to do it off as nothing, though both of them knew this was kinda a big deal right now, they had seen each other naked yeah, but like… not like THAT.

"They won't notice, they're probably downstairs or whatever, well and even if, they wouldn't say a word about it." Well, maybe his mother would afterwards, but only to Niall and not in Liam's presence probably, even though she had said a bit too much last night, but she wouldn't say anything about things like that.

For a moment or two, Liam seemed a bit unsure, biting his bottom lip hard as he checked Niall's face before slowly nodding again, squeezing the younger boy's fingers back as Niall reached out for his hand, trying hard not to jump at him to be honest, he was way too excited, as always. "Alright…"

They still hadn't unpacked their stuff and Niall started wondering whether it would even be worth it while he dug through it to get some new clothes and his toothbrush and paste, they'd have to leave again anyways, he could as well safe time by leaving everything in his bag and instead spending his time more wisely, for example by kissing and hugging Liam all day long.

To take the older boy's nervousness a bit, Niall just kept on rambling as they walked down the hallway to the bathroom, he knew that Liam wasn't embarrassed to be naked in front of him, because let's be honest, that would've been ridiculous, Liam's problem seemed to be that he was scared they were taking things too fast, that they might mess it up or something, or that it wouldn't be good enough and just rushed and not special. He had told Niall that, a few days ago, and it was hard to not fall in love with him even more after he had said things like this, why was he so incredibly sweet and thoughtful?

"I've never done this with anybody else." Niall blurted out after locking the bathroom door behind them because it was true, but also because maybe it'd make Liam feel better.

"Is that why you are so eager to try it?" It was a joke obviously, Liam still had a blushed face but he was chuckling as Niall threw a playful glare at him, apparently all his random talk had seriously helped the older boy.

"You should feel honoured, Liam, that I want you to be the one and no one else." Removing his shirt without a second though, Niall hadn't even been thinking about how serious he had sounded while saying this, but he realised it after looking over and noticing Liam's fond smile at him that definitely had nothing to do with Niall showing off his very pale and muscle lacking stomach. 

"That was really sweet…" It was also the truth, but Niall didn't answer and settled for a smirk instead as he took those few steps over to Liam, getting onto his tiptoes then to reach the other's lips with his, feeling his heartbeat increasing slightly because of their skin brushing. He was so excited it was ridiculous.

"Come on now, it's really cold standing around here half naked." Well, considering the heat Niall felt in his belly, it wasn't that cold after all, but he was trying to play it cool, deciding to give Liam another second or so and just taking his own boxer shorts off without looking at the older boy, he wasn't embarrassed, it was just new kinda, but Liam was definitely the only person he'd ever feel comfortable around enough to do this.

Niall left the door of the shower a bit open, not too much though because he really wouldn't wanna have to wipe the whole floor later, deciding that it would be the best thing to just turn up the water and start by himself even though he really wanted Liam to join him right at this second, but he could be patient. Once a while.

The older boy took a bit longer, probably having to mentally prepare himself for this, but when he did finally join Niall in the shower, he almost made the younger boy jump because of how suddenly he spoke up behind him. "I was just… oops, sorry, babe, didn't wanna… scare you."

"No, no, it's fine." Immediately making sure to reassure him, Niall suddenly became hyper aware of how small the shower was as he turned around with a grin on his lips, keeping his eyes on the older boy's face instead of looking down do admire his body even though he really wanted to. "What were you about to say?"

"Uh, nothing… " He still seemed a bit nervous, , maybe also because Niall was shamelessly leaning back against the wall, still holding the shower head in his hands, dripping wet already. "So… what now?"

Liam asking this was so cute that Niall couldn't help but laugh, like, what did he expect them to do right, but he seemed to truly mean it, kinda just standing there, a bit clueless, running a hand through his hair and the younger boy quickly decided that he needed to break the tension immediately. "Well, since we're in the shower, I'd say we should both get wet."

"Okay, b- Niall!" It was too funny, looking at Liam's shocked expression after Niall had quickly held the shower head up to hit the older boy straight in the face with the water, giggling hysterically afterwards. Yeah maybe he was too immature to shower with his boyfriend. "That wasn't very nice, you know!"

"Why don't you pay me back then?" Winking at the older boy, Niall still hadn't calmed down about it, maybe he found himself a little bit too funny, but then again, things like this were usually the way to get Liam to loosen up and it seemed to be quite the same this time. 

"I've never met anyone with such a dirty mind, it's unbelievable, Nialler." But there was the hint of a grin on his face now while he was shaking his head, pretending to still be in shock.

"If I'm so dirty, maybe we should wash ourselves then." The problem was, once Niall started being in this mood, he couldn't stop anymore with the stupid comments, seeing Liam's eyes going wide for a second while the blonde boy just chuckled, about to spray Liam with the water once more, just waiting for the perfect moment. 

"You're gonna regret this, babe." It sounded like a joke, though the older boy was trying so hard to stay serious, it amused Niall even more for some reason.

"Oh, really? And how exactly am I-" And then Niall's plan about getting his boyfriend even wetter got ruined immediately as the shower head got simply taken out of his hands and two seconds later he was the one with a drenched face, having nowhere to go because Liam's free arm had wrapped around him, keeping them pressing together. 

"Liam!" But there was nothing coming out of his mouth besides giggles anyways, seeing the older boy's face all brightened up, the crinkles by his eyes, it made his tummy flip to think about how he wasn't the only one enjoying this anymore.

"I'm sorry, baby." Liam laughed, not letting go of the younger boy but rather pressing a kiss to his wet forehead, over the hair being stuck there, apparently having forgotten his nervousness. Good. "Maybe we really should wash ourselves now though… like _seriously_ washing, Niall."

He added the last part because Niall had winked at him again, this time only kidding though, he wasn't planning on doing anything really, not able to think clearly right now anyways, not with Liam's bare chest pressing against his while they were both wet and naked in the shower together. Hell, if Niall would've known this was gonna be so wonderful and intimate, he would've dragged Liam to the bathroom with him a long time ago.

It was probably the nicest thing they had ever done, once Niall had convinced his boyfriend that he wasn't gonna get the water into his face again and Liam had completely calmed down about the situation, being even sweeter than Niall could've ever hoped for. He took it upon himself to wash the younger boy's hair, sending tingles down his spine while rubbing his finger pads over Niall's scalp, a very concentrated expression on his face while Niall could've passed out from how good this felt. God, why was Liam so talented at giving head massages and why did Niall only find out now?!

They stayed way longer under the shower than necessary, though they were probably both cleaner than they had ever been, but Niall didn't wanna stop running his palms down Liam's arms and shoulders, his chest, pretending to be washing away some shampoo though there wasn't even any left of course, but the older boy just let him. He had fixed the shower head back on the wall, so both of them had their hands free, just facing each other with warm water spraying down on them, it was really relaxing, but also quite hot to be honest, since they were touching all the time of course, pressing against one another, and Niall didn't even feel guilty for being half hard.

"Liam…" Not really sure why he was even speaking up, or mumbling more like, Niall pushed away from the wall which he had been leaning against, moving his hands up from having them resting on Liam's chest to wrap his arms around the older boy's neck, more than just invading his personal space by pressing his whole body up against Liam's, happy as warm, strong hands came resting on his hips immediately. 

"What?" Liam whispered back, thumbs circling Niall's skin, it was quite like the situation before in bed, only this time, Niall smirked slightly, pulling Liam's head down a bit so he had it easier while leaning in to connect their already wet lips, sighing contently as the older boy immediately held on tighter. 

Pretty much only focused on how good it felt to be kissing like this, Niall wasn't in a hurry to deepen it too soon, but he didn't complain as Liam suddenly took the lead, nudging Niall's lips apart gently in a way that had the younger boy gripping onto the brown hair in the back of his boyfriend's neck, trying hard to hold his moans back for now as Liam licked hotly into his mouth, every touch immediately going to Niall's groin of course. He was a teenage boy and Liam was freaking attractive, what are you gonna do.

There was really nothing Niall loved more than a long, deep make out session with his boyfriend, mouths wide open, the scrape of Liam's beard against his skin, but they had never both been completely naked before so this was something else, he barely even felt the cold wall of the shower against his back as Liam pressed him up against it because he felt so hot all over, eagerly kissing back as he made sure to hold on as tightly as humanly possible. 

"Li… Li, can I…" Needing a second to catch his breath as they barely pulled apart, lips still brushing as Niall panted against Liam's, keeping his eyes pressed shut as he tried his hardest to not thrust his hips against the older boy's, but not really watching his words either. "Can I blow you now?"

To his surprise, all Liam did was chuckle, probably at how needy Niall's quiet voice sounded, though he seriously meant it, he really wanted to do that for Liam, but the older boy wouldn't let him for some reason, shaking as head while brushing his lips against Niall's, pressing his on top shortly. "No, I got a better idea, babe."

Before Niall could ask what exactly that meant, he was caught in yet another kiss, a deeper one, involving long strokes of Liam's tongue against his, almost causing him to pass out, if it hadn't been for the hand stroking up and down his side gently before suddenly slipping down a bit further, somehow ending up between their bodies and that's when Niall got it, almost moaning into the other's mouth at just the slightest bump of Liam's hand against his now full hard on. "Fuck, Liam…" 

"Shh… it'll be good." Hell, Niall wasn't doubting that in any way, he just let out a really embarrassing mewl as he felt Liam mumbling against his lips, desperately threading his fingers into the damp, brown hair to keep the older boy's head in place and get him to kiss him again. 

At first, Niall just thought Liam was about to give him a hand job, which seemed kinda appropriate to think since he wrapped his hand around Niall's length, just barely, but already enough to almost causing Niall's mouth to slip off just so he could moan. Maybe he should've been embarrassed about getting turned on so fucking easily, but Liam had told him it was hot a few days ago, so…

They kept snogging, with the water still hitting them both, Niall head pressed against the tiles, his arms almost hurting from how tight he was holding onto Liam while the older boy didn't do anything for a while besides lightly moving his fist up and down the younger boy's erection, suddenly stepping a bit closer, so that their hips were almost flush against one another if he hadn't had his hand in between. 

"L-Li…" Not sure what he had been about to say, Niall had been forced to turn his head a bit, to catch some breath because his chest was heaving, tingles all over his body as Liam's parted lips were now pressed up against his cheek, panting softly against his skin, one hand next to Niall's head against the wall to support himself.

There was no answer whatsoever, Liam kept up the teasing for a bit, kissing at Niall's cheek before suddenly making the younger boy moan out loud as he let go for a second just to wrap his hand about both of their hard members, lining them up against one another and almost sending Niall straight to heaven. What the hell, since when was Liam the one who wanted to try new things first, Niall hadn't been prepared! "Good…?"

"Yeah, fuck… m-move… your hand, Liam…fuck…" Actually, Niall just started thrusting his own hips up into Liam's fist, causing both of them to hiss as they brushed against each other, it was a new feeling, but hell, Niall secretly cursed himself for not having thought about this before.

It was so fucking hot, grinding against each other, Liam moving his hand in a somewhat slow pace at first before speeding up to build a somewhat steady rhythm while all Niall did was hungrily pressing their lips together again though neither of them had enough air to keep it up for long, panting against each other before Liam's mouth moved down over Niall's jaw and down his neck, gently biting into the sensitive skin before circling his hot tongue around the spot.

"Ugh, Li… this f-feels so g-good, h-harder, please…" This felt fucking fantastically, having both Liam's slightly rough palm and his dick rubbing up against Niall's while the older boy was nipping and panting against his neck, causing him to tilt his head back as far as that was possible to give him more access, not being able to stop these embarrassing noises from leaving his open mouth, almost wailing as Liam pressed his thumb to the tip of Niall's, not sure anymore whether the glide was so easy because of the water or because he was already dripping with pre cum. Probably both.

Niall wanted this to last forever, wanted to have Liam this close, his tongue and lips against his neck, feeling his breath, both of them thrusting against each other in a pretty dirty way and Liam's hand rubbing over the both of them, squeezing occasionally to create more pressure, as if Niall wasn't seconds from coming hard, he could barely keep his moans back for more than two seconds. 

"Liam… I'm g-gonna…" Pretty sure that his voice wasn't even understandable in any way, Niall groaned loudly as Liam caught the tip of his thumb in Niall's slit, sucking on his neck now to probably create a bruise big enough for his whole family to make fun of, but Niall couldn't have cared less as he dragged his fingernails across Liam's back, eyes pressed shut tightly. 

"Yeah… yeah, go on…" Mouthing against his neck, Liam thrusted extra tightly against Niall while squeezing his fist around the both of them, causing Niall to loose it as he moaned even louder than he already had before, coming in thick spurts between their bellies, harder than he had whenever Liam had given him a hand job, it's just… god. "F-Fuck, baby…" 

He worked Niall through it, suddenly pressing their lips together again, immediately slipping his tongue into Niall's mouth to kiss him deeply, moving his hand faster now as he was nearing his own orgasm, coming just as Niall slowly calmed down again, his skin feeling sensitive now but he still met Liam's thrusts, wanting the older boy to feel just as good as he did. 

Liam wasn't even half as loud as the younger boy, but his rather quiet grunts still gave Niall chills as they kissed through it, both of their chests moving heavily afterwards, none of them moving for a while, just staying like this, bodies pressed together, the water still washing over them.

"That was so good…" It was Liam who spoke up first, moving his hand from between their bellies to Niall's waist, wrapping it around his back to hold him closer as he kissed his lips, softly, then the corner of his mouth, his cheek, closed eyelid, just anywhere he could reach until Niall couldn't help but giggle, his arms still way too tightly around Liam's shoulders, but he didn't want to let go, didn't want this moment to ever pass by. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Liam…" Hell, Niall could've cried right now from how much love he felt for the older boy, who was still peppering his face with kisses, his free hand cupping Niall's neck, thumb tenderly rubbing over his jawline as his breath was warming Niall's skin, turning his lips into a smile. "We should've done that a lot sooner."

"Agreed…" The older boy mumbled, pressing another kiss onto the tip of Niall's nose just as he let his eyes flatter open to immediately be staring into his favourite brown one's, playfully nipping at Liam's thumb as he moved it to rub over the younger boy's bottom lip, causing him to laugh softly. "We should probably really clean ourselves up now."

"Yeah, probably." But Niall also wouldn't have minded staying like this for a bit longer, he felt warm and happy all around, not making any attempts to loosen his grip on the older boy, just leaning in to kiss him once more, softly now, without any haste, just wanting to taste him and have him close.

Liam played along for a while, cupping Niall's face with both hands before he was the one to pull away after a few minutes, reaching out for the shower head once more to get their by now a bit sticky skin clean, taking extra much care while rubbing over Niall's stomach and chest, longer than necessary, not that the younger boy didn't appreciate it, it got him feeling all fuzzy and warm to have Liam taking care of him like this, treating him so carefully.

Once they had managed to finally get out of the shower, probably having used up the warm water for a month, Niall quickly realised that they only had one towel because of course, this had been his bathroom before, but it didn't turn out to be such a big problem after all, he just told Liam to use it first before giving it back to him so he could dry up as well.

Instead, the older boy wrapped it around his shoulders before opening his arms up with a smile, causing Niall's stomach to do flips as he quickly wrapped his arms around Liam's waist, seeking his body heat now that he had been standing around all wet, immediately being enveloped in warmth as the older boy hugged him back, making sure the towel was covering both of them.

For some reason, everything was nice with Liam, like drying up after showering and getting dressed, brushing your teeth, especially when you got pulled onto his lap while doing so, Niall was so happy, he couldn't believe it, he had thought yesterday had been pretty good already, but every second they spent here together, things seemed to be getting even better for some reason. 

It was Liam who did that, all these random kisses and cuddles he gave the younger boy, the way he grabbed Niall's hand first as they walked downstairs, swinging their arms in between them, how nice he was to Niall's parents as they saw them in the kitchen to get some breakfast and how he immediately pulled Niall close into his side as they sat on the couch in the living room, as if he couldn't stand the thought of them not being close to one another. He was perfect.

"So, do you think they know what we have done? Your mum had a bit of a weird look on her face when we-"

"Liam." Niall interrupted, almost having to laugh because of the older boy's worries, as if they could've changed anything about this now, turning his head to kiss Liam's cheek softly before carrying on. "The water was running the whole time, they didn't hear us, and the look on her face probably came from the fact that I have never gotten up before 12 pm before."

"I'm just worried, kind of, I don't want them to think I talk you into doing things you don't want or… making a bad impression, they're your family, I want them to… to like me, I guess." God, didn't he already know that they freaking loved him?

"Li, trust me, they do like you very much already, and you wouldn't talk me into stuff I don't wanna do, and besides, I'd pretty much say yes to everything, so… stop worrying, okay? It's all good, my parents think you're amazing and so do I." Smiling reassuringly, Niall waited for Liam to return it weakly before bringing his attention back to the plate in his lap, well aware that he shouldn't be eating Christmas Cookies for breakfast, but they were so good. "You know, actually… I'm the one who talked you into doing this in the first place, so they'd probably just think I'm the bad influence for you and not the other way around. Imagine if they knew how many times I offered you a blow job. For which I'm sorry, by the way, I mean, I'd love to do it, but I don't wanna make you feel uncomfortable by asking all the time, it just slips out."

No idea why Niall was thinking about this again, but he just blurted out with it all then, he didn't even expect Liam to take it serious, stuffing a few cookies into his mouth, head leaned against his boyfriend's shoulder while watching the Christmas tree across the room. 

But Liam did actually answer, he just took a bit longer than expected, clearing his throat a bit, his arm still heavy around Niall's shoulder, keeping him close. "I don't… feel uncomfortable, I just… I don't want you having to go down on your knees for me, I… I wanna make sure you're feeling good, that's all I care about, and I just want us to take it slow so I can make sure it's gonna be as amazing as it can possibly be for you….you deserve it, Ni."

Shit, there was a pretty big knot in Niall's throat after listening to this, he hadn't expected the reason for Liam always declining to have such a deep meaning, or to make him feel so loved, he actually had to put the plate onto the coffee table in front of them now, next to Liam's, so he had his hands free to turn his body around, wrapping them around the older's neck, causing Liam's arm slip to his waist.

The brunette did seem a bit blushed now, but he also didn't look away as Niall stared into his eyes for a moment, thinking about what to say, wanting Liam to know that he loved him just as much, that he appreciated everything the older boy did for him, but he was kinda worried he wasn't as good with his words as his boyfriend. "Thank you, Li, really… you're always so sweet to me, and you always take care of me, I… I've never had a relationship like this and I can't even tell you how much you mean to me without having to tear up, but… I really do love you, more than anything in this world, and I feel safe with you, always, and I trust you with my life and we can wait for as long as you want to, I don't mind, I just wanna be with you, that's all I need."

For a second, Niall thought Liam didn't wanna answer, because he just stared, but as he did, his voice sounded a bit shaky, making Niall's eyes go wide as he realised that maybe he wasn't so bad at this as he had thought. "Now you're making me tear up…."

"Aww, Liam, don't cry or I'm gonna start as well and it won't be pretty." Shit, why had this just turned into such an emotional conversation, Niall had been talking about blow jobs five seconds ago. "Hey, come here."

Pulling his legs onto the couch to sit on them, Niall tightened his arms around Liam's neck, resting his chin on the boy's shoulder after kissing his cheek once more, immediately feeling Liam returning the hug, his breath going a bit uneven now, so Niall was hoping that he hadn't actually made him cry even though that would've been quite a compliment actually.

They stayed like this for a bit, not talking, just holding on, and as Niall carefully pulled back, Liam's eyes were still shiny, but no tears had spilled over for which he was very happy, smiling softly as he pecked his boyfriend's lips. "Love you."

"I love you too, Nialler." A breathless laugh escaped him as he rubbed his eye a bit, as if he couldn't believe it, but it was cutest thing ever really, also the fact that he had seriously gotten emotional over Niall's words, Liam was truly perfect, in every single way.

As they settled back into their original position and Niall pulled the cookies back into his lap, convincing Liam to letting him feed a few, about to start a ramble on how rude it had actually been of Louis to text him that early in the morning and that they should definitely come too late as a revenge and also a little bit because he wanted to keep on cuddling, the blonde boy couldn't help but notice that this had most possibly been the greatest morning of his entire life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess who is gonna fail every single exam


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys, i'm really sorry that i haven't updated in so long :( i'm gonna try to finish writing the story until the 1st of january so that i can update regularly again from now on! also, i wanna apologize if this chapter is not as exciting, it's because i had a hard time finishing it bc i broke off in the middle of it and i'm not very good at taking things back up after not writing for like a week or two.  
> anyways, i hope you're still gonna enjoy it & that you all had/are having a nice christmas, this is my present to you :D

"I'll come after you in a second, I just gotta… make sure those are on really tight, you can go join the others, it's fine." For some reason, Niall didn't become any more believable after telling Liam to go for the third time, but the older boy didn't even plan on leaving his boyfriend behind, he wasn't so keen on being alone with Harry and Louis anyways, especially since they seemed to be ten times better at ice skating than he was. 

"No, I'm gonna wait for you, why would I go? Here, let me check if they're tight or not." It was weird, getting down with these shoes on, but for Niall, Liam would take anything on him, even though the boy was just sitting on the bench, chewing his bottom lip and not looking quite sure about any of this. "What's the matter?"

"Uh, nothing?" Obviously, Niall wasn't speaking the truth, he had been happy all morning, the best morning Liam had ever had by the way, during their shower together that had turned out 10 times better than Liam could've ever dreamed about, and then while they had been cuddling on the couch for way too long, almost running late to meet the others. Which had been the moment Niall had started frowning slightly, he had still hugged both of their friends, but ever since they had all borrowed their ice skates, he had kinda gotten a bit quiet, the smile fading from his face. 

"You can tell me, you know, just want you to be okay." While checking to see whether Niall had closed the skates properly, Liam wasn't looking up, just feeling worried about his boy now, he didn't like sad Niall, it immediately got him jumping into protective mode, even more now after this morning for some reason, like, Liam loved this boy so incredibly much and whenever things like before happened, he got so overwhelmed by his feelings that he couldn't properly think about anything else other than Niall. "They're fine, babe, do you wanna go?"

After a moment of hesitation, Niall did nothing but nod, ignoring what Liam had said before, a slight sigh escaping him while taking the older boy's outstretched hands after he had gotten back up, letting himself being pulled to his feet as well. Gosh, he looked so fucking cute in that beanie, it shouldn't have been allowed to be this attractive really, and then HE was the one who put pictures of Liam onto his wall.

"Is really everything alright? You… seem a bit down." Well aware that he was probably getting on the boy's nerves now, though that was hardly possible, Liam couldn't help but ask again, slowly letting go of Niall's hand to get onto the ice, waiting for his boyfriend to do the same.

"I… just…" Niall started, his expression suddenly changing to quite terrified, face pale except for his adorably red nose and cheeks, grabbing onto the barrier at the side with both hands, only moving very carefully, and maybe Liam should've gotten the problem by now, but he was just staring in confusion. "I… I can't-" 

And with that, Niall got interrupted by himself as he landed straight on his butt after being on the ice for literally one second only, his skin flushing immediately as Liam quickly got rid of the small distance between them, even more worried now. 

"Skate…" The blonde boy finished his sentence, immediately causing Liam to feel bad once he had gotten there, again stretching his hand out towards the boy, relived to see that he didn't seem hurt, just a bit embarrassed and annoyed.

"It's okay, baby, did you get hurt? Here, I'll get the snow off of you." Really, there was nothing Liam was happier about than Louis and Harry being far away doing whatever, he would've probably punched them right now if they would've been laughing at Niall, the blonde boy was so poor, clinging to Liam once he was up on his feet again, almost putting all of his weight on the older boy because he found it so hard to just stand on the ice. 

"No, 'm fine, thanks… " It came out rather quiet, Liam made sure to gently pet the boy's back, making the tiny amount of snow fall off, his arm almost hurting because of how tightly Niall was gripping onto it in order to not fall again, making Liam feel guilty, he wouldn't have agreed on coming here if he had known it'd cause Niall such troubles.

"Why didn't you tell me you can't ice skate, babe? It's not a big deal." Actually, it was rather cute, but Liam held his smile back as he was done cleaning Niall's jacket, slowly unclenching the boy's fingers around him, causing him to almost panic for a second, but he made sure to intertwine their fingers quickly, almost pulling them right back. "Shit, your hand is freezing, Nialler."

"I know, I touched the ice, just keep holding on, then I'm sure I'm gonna warm up." Liam wasn't so sure about that actually, he just watched Niall's red face for a second, the way he sniffed, before bringing the boy's hand up to softly kiss the back, his lips burning from the cold as he pulled back. 

"No, wait, I brought gloves, you can have those or you'll get frost bites." Of course, Niall hadn't put any on as his mother had yelled at him as they had already been halfway through the door, he had just rolled his eyes at Liam before laughing over how he never got that cold anyways. Well…

Right now though, Niall looked so small and lost that Liam couldn't even bring himself to say anything, he quickly let go of the younger boy's hand, wrapping an arm around him instead to keep him steady and on his feet, searching the pockets of his jacket then until he found his gloves, handing them over just as Niall had to sniff again, having gotten a runny nose from the cold as well. "Thank you…"

"That's okay, babe, just don't want you having to freeze to death here. We could've stayed home, you know, why didn't you say anything, Ni?" Asking again because Niall had never answered the question before, Liam watched as the blonde boy put on the gloves, taking his time though, he still seemed to be a bit embarrassed about the whole situation.

"I don't know… Louis wanted to go and I thought maybe you wanna go too so I didn't wanna say no… also, I didn't even remember how bad I actually am at this, I thought I could at least stand up straight, but… apparently I forgot how to do it." He shrugged a bit as Liam suppressed a sigh, he wouldn't have expected Niall to be so secretive about this, usually he always blurted out with whatever was on his mind.

"I wouldn't ever wanna do something you don't want to, babe, you know that." Rubbing his shoulder gently, Liam leaned down to press a kiss onto Niall's beanie, slowly moving his arm then to grab a hold of the boy's hand again, relieved that he had at least limited the risk of Niall getting sick, and also, a good thing about all of this was that he for sure would not have to let Niall go for the whole time they were here. 

"I know, Li…just, we're here now anyways, and Harry and Louis will probably come over as well in a bit, it's too late." Shrugging slightly, Niall almost lost his balance at just this tiny movement, immediately grabbing onto the older boy's wrist with his free hand as well, apparently not ready to move in the slightest way. Gosh, he was so cute, Liam wouldn't be able to hold this stupid smile back for much longer.

"Don't worry about them, babe, I'll punch them if they just say one single word, alright?" Which would be hard seeing as Liam had to use his strength to keep the younger boy on his feet, but the guilt in his stomach became a bit less as Niall threw a crooked smile at him, not loosening his desperate grip though.

"You and punching someone, Liam? You're way too sweet to just put your pinky on anyone." The fact that Niall was saying this with such a soft expression on his face forced Liam to clear his throat a bit, making sure he had a good grip on his boy before trying to move them a bit, immediately causing Niall to let out a shriek, fingers tightening almost painfully. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm teaching you how to ice skate, come one, it's not so hard, you just gotta relax a bit." Because the way it was now, Niall was so tensed up, he even refused to just move his legs a tiny bit, just staring at Liam with wide, panicked eyes, almost causing him to give in and bringing both of them to solid ground into safety again. For some reason though, he really wanted to teach Niall how to ice skate. "It's fine, Nialler, I got you, I promise, okay? I won't let you fall down, if you relax a bit it'll be a lot easier."

"I can't relax, Liam, we're on freaking ice and I couldn't even get off again without your help, I'd have to crawl." Niall whined, pressing himself more into Liam's side, almost sending both of them straight down onto their butts, which would've been kinda inconvenient, right after Liam had promised Niall he wouldn't fall down again. "I wish we would've stayed in bed until dinner tonight, that was actually my plan, you know, it would've been so nice, but NO, fucking Louis and his stupid ideas, he can go shove them up his-"

"Up my what, Nialler?" Both of them flinched as Louis and Harry turned up out of nowhere, making Niall huff once the surprise effect was over while Liam threw an unsure look at their best friends, not too happy about seeing them smirking all stupidly at the youngest boy. The way they were standing and behaving wasn't quite hiding the fact that Niall wasn't here by choice anymore.

"Your ass, Louis. Wipe that grin off your face, you're gonna spend the whole evening at my house and I assure you, this will be the worst Christmas of your life if you say one more word in that sarcastic voice." He really did seem angry, which wasn't very usual at all and Liam had no idea what to say or do, he just settled for keeping his boyfriend close, hoping that he wouldn't have to step in or anything.

To his surprise, Louis really did keep his mouth shut, though he was still smirking and exchanging a look with Harry, pretending to lock his lips with an invisible key and throwing it away, getting nothing out of Niall besides another huff.

"You're so funny, Lou, you should have your own TV show for people with no humour." It was actually funny, how much Niall was pouting now, still trying to somehow find his balance but it seemed to be impossible, he really was worse at this than any person Liam had ever met.

"It's not my fault you agreed to go ice skating, Niall, I knew you're bad, but I didn't know Liam would have to carry you." Definitely not the right thing to say, especially not while circling Liam and Niall slowly and Harry looking like he would bite his lip bleeding in an attempt not to burst out laughing.

"Well if I had said no you would've kept bugging me about why for so long that I would've given in anyways. Just know that you ruined my whole day, and it's the 24th of December, so that says something." Though Liam was pretty sure that Niall would have forgotten his anger in a few minutes, he still squeezed the younger boy's fingers, as far as that was possible, leaning down a bit to kiss his forehead in an attempt to make it a bit better, trying hard not to say something to Louis right now though he knew it was just harmless teasing.

"That's not very nice to say in front of your boyfriend, Ni, I can imagine there's a reason you two needed like 3 hours to get ready and it probably wasn't because Liam was making your morning so horrible." Right, this was the exact moment that Liam turned red as a tomato, well, he had already been before probably, because of the cold, but his face felt even hotter now as he quickly looked down, somehow thinking that the words 'WE FOOLED AROUND IN THE SHOWER' were written across his forehead.

"Liam is the only reason why I'm not sitting on top of you strangling you right now." Alright, Niall seemed to really be bothered by this and Liam had no idea how to step in, he was just standing there kinda cluelessly, looking at Harry, who hadn't said a word either, shrugging slightly at Liam, apparently a bit too amused by all of this. Why exactly were they having this argument while standing on bloody ice?

"He's also the reason why you've not landed straight on your butt yet, Nialler. Oops." As Louis added the last part, Niall almost fell forward if Liam hadn't immediately reacted, kinda desperate to change the topic now, preferably before Niall would burst out with what they had done this morning because he was so happy about it. Like, it's not that Liam was embarrassed or that he'd get mad at Niall for telling anybody, it's just, he wasn't this comfortable talking about his sex life as everyone else here seemed to be. 

"Maybe we should all stop fighting now? I mean… it's Christmas, you know, supposed to be fun and stuff." A very weak argument, but it was the best one Liam had, he was holding Niall steady again, throwing a kind of worried look at the younger boy, who just rolled his eyes a bit but gave a tiny nod while Louis let out a short laugh, patting Liam's back for a second.

"I'm glad you fell in love with this kid, Liam, I really wouldn't wanna teach him how to ice skate." Of course, after Louis winked at the blonde boy and reached out to pat his head over his beanie without permission, Niall almost started yet another argument, but it was Harry who prevented it then, maybe because he had seen the desperate look on Liam's face, but maybe also because he didn't like to see them fighting either. Though fighting wasn't the correct term, it just wasn't a very pleasing sight to see Niall almost exploding with anger when he was normally all smiles and sunshine, like, Liam would've pulled him into his arms and cuddled him for as long as it took to cheer him up, but that probably would've made everything even worse.

"Lou, let's go a round before Niall explodes, I bet I could do that pirouette again, I almost perfected it." Yeah, they'd probably need an ambulance later.

"I'm not gonna explode, but it could be that you're gonna be single in a few seconds, Harry." It almost sounded as if he were talking with clenched teeth, but Liam didn't check, he just squeezed the boy's fingers, pressing another kiss onto his beanie and trying to ignore the way Louis and Harry seemed to have something going on by just looking at each other, it was almost uncomfortable to watch.

"Are you gonna kill me, Nialler? If I didn't know you two are already dating and that you really do suck at ice skating, I'd congratulate you on finding an excuse to hold onto Liam's hand for the next hour." Before Niall could drop anymore hints on plotting his best friend's death, the other two had apparently come to a silent agreement to take off together, of course not without Louis winking another time at Niall, who didn't even react anymore though, Liam would definitely have a hard time trying to cheer him up now. 

"I need new friends…" Niall muttered as they stared after Harry and Louis for a second, both of them were pretty good at ice skating, better than Liam, and they also were quite loud to be honest, Liam was glad they had taken off, not only because they had been teasing Niall but also because a lot of other people were throwing annoyed glares at them.

"Just ignore them, babe, I'm gonna show you how to do it and you'll be great at it and later we can make up for all the cuddling these two stopped from happening." Liam pressed a kiss to the younger boy's cold cheek, trying his best smile in hopes that he'd get one in return.

"I'm doubting the part where I'm great at it, but I'm definitely all for cuddling." His face got a bit softer and more relaxed, which was enough for Liam right now, he knew Niall wasn't someone to be bothered by things for too long, so it was his goal to make him forget about what had happened and just focus on Liam, the way it should've been, because he was quite selfish if it came to who Niall's attention belonged to.

It was quite hard, to just get a few meters away from where they had started out, because Niall seemed to be terrified to a point where Liam felt guilty for still finding his fear cute, but he did get the younger boy to relax a tiny bit after a few minutes of reassuring him that he really did have a tight grip on him.

Still, Niall barely did anything at all, he just kinda let himself being pulled, slowly though, because Liam didn't wanna push it, he was just glad if his boyfriend trusted him at least a tiny bit about this. And it was quite nice then, because the other two were off to do whatever, probably break all their bones, and there were barely any other people so Liam had Niall all to himself with no chance of having to let go of him. 

How else could he have wanted Christmas to turn out really? First last night and then this morning and they still had many more days to go, exactly like this, Liam had for sure never enjoyed the holidays this much, well, he had been working usually for the past few years, but not even as a kid had he felt such a constant excitement and happiness during Christmas time, so that said something. Like, he hadn't even had time to worry about not getting any work or studying done and it was Niall alone who did that, with his always cheerful mood and his bright face that Liam just wanted to constantly cover in kisses. And he would, once they were alone, Niall wouldn't be able escape Liam's arms anymore.

"You know what I never asked you… did you tell your parents that you wouldn't come home this year? Or did you just not say anything?" They had been able to have a somewhat normal conversation for a few minutes now without Niall having to shriek every few seconds in fear of falling down, but the change of topic made Liam sigh a little bit. There was a reason why they hadn't talked about this yet, he knew Niall was asking because he cared, his voice was all careful and not as if he would get mad if Liam said he wouldn't wanna talk about it. But there was no person in the world Liam trusted or loved more than this boy, so he would've felt quite bad for keeping secrets from him, especially if it was something like this.

"Umm… well, I wanted to call, you know, and I did, but… but we kinda just talked about work then and… I kinda wasn't brave enough to say anything about Christmas and my dad didn't say anything either, so…" Yeah, that was maybe the only thing that could get Liam worried right now, but he had been pushing it to the back of his mind, not really caring that much after all, not while he was with Niall.

"So they still think you're coming to their house tonight?" He sounded a bit unsure, Liam almost shrugged before remembering that it probably would've caused Niall to stumble, so he squeezed the boy's gloved hand instead, keeping his eyes straight forward.

"I don't know… I mean, they didn't ASK me to right? Maybe they're just gonna assume I'll show up, but… they probably won't even notice anyways, there's way too many people there and it's not like I actually spend time with them. Besides, I should be able to decide for myself I think… and I'd much rather be with you than with anybody else, so…" Flushing a bit, Liam wasn't too embarrassed about admitting it though, he assumed that Niall already knew that anyways, he BETTER knew it actually.

"I just don't want you to get in trouble for giving in to my begging, you know. Maybe next year we should go to your parents' house in case they get mad, I wouldn't mind, I'm much rather with you than with anybody else too." Great, there was a big lump in Liam's throat now, he threw a quick look over, being met by a warm smile that caused his tummy to do a flip. The fact that Niall was already making plans for them in a whole year because he just assumed that he'd still love Liam then and that he'd give up being home just so he could be with him was a bit too much, like, of course Liam would still wanna be with the younger boy in a year, it was just different to think about that that feeling could be mutual. 

"No, I… I would rather save you from having to go through that to be honest… and I like it a lot better here as well, so my parents will just have to get over it." Above that, Liam wanted to save Niall from ever meeting his parents actually, the younger boy had never asked and Liam didn't plan on bringing this up because they both knew that they would most likely freak out if they found out that Liam was dating a guy. 

"Well, you don't know how Christmas at my house is gonna be like, maybe you're gonna run away screaming in a few hours, you never know, Liam, don't make too many promises yet." Of course it was a joke, loosing the knot in Liam's chest a bit for the change of topic, talking about his family was never a good idea.

"Tell me about it then, so I'm prepared, you know, all I know is that your mum is probably gonna make us eat _a lot_." Laughing, Liam tried going a bit faster now and Niall didn't even seem to notice, he still was barely doing anything, but at least he didn't seem scared anymore, he was just happily grinning, holding onto Liam's hand with both of his, apparently having forgotten about whatever had happened before. Good.

"She is gonna make lots of food, true, you saw it this morning in the kitchen, she's already started. If Louis' whole family comes and then my brother and his wife and kid and like, my grandma and a few other family members as well maybe, then we need a lot of food and don't let Louis tell you any lies, it's not all for me to eat, okay? Anyways, it'll be fun, we only open the presents tomorrow morning, but let's be honest here, Christmas dinner is the best part. Even if I did get you a pretty good present and you should be very excited about that, but you're gonna have to wait, Li, sorry." Niall chuckled, smiling happily as Liam looked over while shaking his head slowly, he didn't want to admit it, but he actually was excited about that present, even if he felt slightly weird for not having anything for Niall in return because he hadn't been allowed to.

"I wanted to get you something too, I had pretty good ideas, if you want to, I could still g-"

"No, shh, Liam, you already got me a present and I love it, okay? It'd make me feel really bad if you got me even more and besides, having you here is the best present anyways, so you got me two basically, that's more than I could ask for." God, he was so fucking sweet, Liam couldn't help but stare over at the side of his face, like not even smiling or anything, just feeling an incredible urge to just cup Niall's cheeks and slam their lips together, which wouldn't have been a good idea since they were on the ice, but… "Why are you looking at me like that, Liam? I know I'm quite red, it's the cold, and don't make any Rudolph jokes now, please, Louis already made them all for at least twenty million times."

To be honest, Liam only heard every second word the younger boy had said, he just thought about the best and least cheesiest way to say what he was about to, just blurting straight out with it then though, in the worst and least thought through way possible. "I'm so in love with you it's insane."

And then, just as Niall's cheeks turned a bit of a darker colour and a tiny, surprised smile formed on his lips as he opened his mouth, Liam suddenly lost balance, he hadn't been looking at where they had been going anymore because he had been too captivated by his boy, of course going right over some unevenness in the ice and pulling Niall with him because of how tight he had been holding onto him.

"Ah, shit!" It did hurt, a little bit, because Liam landed straight on his back, bumping his head a bit, yet still having somehow managed to pull Niall into him and softening his fall by making him fall right on top of Liam instead of the ice. That's how much more Liam cared about Niall's safety than his own, even unconsciously. "Fuck… I'm sorry, Ni, you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine…" There was a bit of a grunt and Niall leaned his elbow a bit too hard into Liam's rip on accident before he propped himself up, making it impossible for Liam to lift anything besides his head and the arm he still had wrapped around the younger boy protectively. "Did you hit your head?"

"I… yeah, I did, but it's fine. I'm sorry, I wasn't watching where we were going, did you get hurt?" Feeling guilty now, Liam wouldn't stop searching Niall's face for any signs of pain, why was he so dumb, really, and so emotional all the time that he couldn't even watch where he was going anymore? 

"It's all good, Liam, don't worry about it, I basically landed on top of you, it was pretty soft." There was a chuckle that sounded quite genuine, but Niall still made no attempts to move off of the older boy, he just stayed half lying on top of him, staring right down into his eyes before shifting a little bit, to get their faces even closer if anything. "Hey…"

"What?" Liam was slightly confused, he was still stuck worrying and silently cursing himself for being such an idiot, moving his arm from Niall's waist to pull his beanie back in place, not really thinking about how weird this was, them just lying there, on the ice, staring at each other, but what exactly did they ever do in a normal manner anyways?

"I'm very much in love with you too, you know." Okay, that had been unexpected, Liam watched the smile on Niall's face turning into a grin before he felt his body going warm despite the cold and the ice pressing into his back, his brain emptying immediately as he let his hand slid down to Niall's cheek, hoping that he wasn't making Niall freeze because his skin was quite cold. "And it kinda sucks that we just embarrassed ourselves, but you know what, at least now I can do what I wanted to do all along."

"And what is t-"

There was no need for Liam to ask really, and to be quite honest, he had kinda seen it coming, that cheeky grin on Niall's face, his cute dimple showing, the way he brought their faces closer and closer before just cutting Liam's question off and pressing their cold mouths together in a kiss, deeper than appropriate for this situation. Of course it didn't fail to make Liam smile as he let his eyes fall closed, not hesitating to return it, completely getting lost at the feeling of Niall's soft lips against his, the boy's taste in his mouth as their tongues touched and yeah, Liam's head was kinda pressing a bit uncomfortably into the ice and maybe Louis and Harry were somewhere near them and about to tease the shit out of them, but quite honestly, he couldn't have given less of a fuck.

 

———————

 

They didn't stay for very long, partly because of course Harry messed up whatever 'stunt' he had been trying to do and managed to get himself bleeding a bit, but also because Niall got a quite angry call from his mother then, ordering all the four of them back to the house, because apparently, everyone else had already arrived as well, including Louis' whole family.

So that's what they did, though the whole walk back Niall made sure to walk as slowly as possible so he and Liam would fall behind a bit, letting Harry and Louis walk in the front, discussing whether you could get some kinda poisoning from cutting yourself on ice. You probably couldn't, but Liam decided not to bring himself in, just feeling good with holding Niall's hand and listening to his happy chatter about how excited he was to introduce Liam to everybody, the bad mood from before long forgotten.

Sure, Liam was a bit nervous at first, because he had no idea what to expect, but it wasn't as bad as he had felt yesterday before meeting Niall's parents, it was just extended family anyways, well, and Louis' whole family, but they seemed to mostly consist of kids anyways so that wasn't where Liam's worries were lying. 

The good thing was, once they got home, the house was so full that you couldn't even make out single voices, and though Niall dragged Liam along by his hand introducing him to every member of his family and any guest really, making him blush by bragging about how good Liam was at ice skating and how he had taught him even though that was a complete lie, Liam kinda enjoyed it anyways, just seeing that bright smile on Niall's face and the sparkle in his eyes, there was nothing this boy deserved except for the very best. 

"So, what do you think?" It was the first time in a few hours that they were somewhat alone, because during dinner, Liam had been sitting opposite of Niall's brother, who had been asking so much about his job that Liam had run out of things to say, and one of Louis' little sister's, who had been shy for like 5 minutes before making Liam cut her food. None of the kids were shy in general actually, they only knew Harry for one day as well and made him carry them around already, but he didn't seem to mind a lot, and neither did Liam with helping, because it really was like Niall had predicted, just one big family dinner, something Liam had never experience before, especially not with everyone being so friendly and loud and in a good mood, it was like, out of a movie or something and he absolutely loved it. "Is it very horrible?"

"It's not horrible at all, baby." Niall had been smiling while asking, but his grin turned bigger as Liam answered with a chuckle, brushing Niall's blonde fringe out of his forehead and placing a kiss there before letting his arm hang over his shoulders again, drawing him in a bit closer even though Niall was halfway on his lap already, a hand rubbing Liam's stomach and giving him butterflies. "Actually, I wanted to thank you for inviting me, that's probably the best Christmas I've ever had."

"But that's really sad, Liam, Christmas is aways supposed to be fun. And you're supposed to get a hurting belly too." The younger boy seemed as if he was pouting a bit, as if this was really getting to him, kissing Liam's shoulder over his shirt and making him feel even warmer than he already had.

"Well, it does hurt a little bit actually." Mostly because Liam had kinda forgotten about his diet plan last night and today, but it had been very easy not to think about it, too easy, and also, he didn't even feel guilty for it for once. "But it's fine, babe, no need to pull such a face, I didn't know what I was missing anyways, so it makes today even better."

"Just wait for New Year's then, Li, that's gonna be even more fun." Liam wasn't doubting that anymore, he just laughed softly because Niall's voice had yet again gotten all excited, and also because he couldn't believe he'd get to spend so many days with Niall still, it was as if they were far away from every responsibility Liam had had back home, as if it didn't matter for the time they were here. And sure, the house was still packed with people, but it still kinda felt as if it was just the two of them in their own bubble of happiness.

"I can't wait for that then… even though, I'm also gonna enjoy every day in between very much, and especially when we make up for the lost time for cuddling." Well, they were kinda cuddling right now, but in the middle of the living room on the couch with people walking by constantly and kids running past, so that was a bit different, but maybe it was better for now, because snuggling would've quickly turned into a heated make out session if they had had the chance.

"Tonight, Li, we can do much more than cuddling if you want to." There was a very obvious wink before Niall chuckled over Liam's slightly red cheeks, having to stretch quite a lot in order to peck his lips before settling back down, face buried in Liam's shoulder now, letting out a content sigh as he reached for the older boy's free hand to intertwine their fingers over his stomach. "Think I might give you your present early tonight as well… I'm bad at keeping secrets."

"You could give me a hint or something, I… I'm not very good at not knowing secrets either." Actually, Liam had been trying to forget about it until now because he was pretty curious, he wasn't usually like this, but… this was Niall and Liam was 100% sure that he would absolutely love whatever the boy had gotten him, even if he still felt a bit bad about it, he really hoped Niall hadn't spent a lot of money on him, if any at all, he would've been happy with just a small note really.

"You're cute, Li, but my lips are sealed until at least when we're alone. Besides, I'd probably give it right away anyways, I also already accidentally told Louis what I got him, and it isn't even something as special as yours, but he was bugging me about it because he knows I can never shut up once I started so let's better change the topic." Well, that wasn't gonna help Liam with his curiosity, but he accepted it anyways, trying not to make it too obvious, rubbing his thumb over Niall's palm as he leaned his cheek against the boy's head, closing his eyes for a second despite the kids yelling around, probably playing catch or something, not that that bothered him anyways. "They're probably gonna make us play seek and hide later, you know, and it's even worse tomorrow when they get their toys, I hope you like barbies, Li."

"I don't mind… they're quite cute, I just feel a bit sorry for Harry, he's like their personal play house or something." Actually, Liam didn't feel sorry for him at all, he found it quite funny to watch, good thing Harry was great with kids.

"Well, I'm glad he's here because usually that is my part. But you were really cute to Daisy when we had dinner too… I like seeing you with kids." Then he shrugged a little bit, squeezing Liam's finger before wiggling around until Liam lifted his head again so they could look at each other, feeling a bit weird under Niall's soft expression, not really sure what to make out of this right now. "Do you want children, Li? I mean, one day, you know, just wondering…"

"Uh, I… yeah, I guess I do, um… do you?" Well, that wasn't exactly the topic Liam had thought they'd talk about, he couldn't tell whether Niall was joking or not so he had decided to be honest, trying not to turn too red under the boy's eyes, he seemed to be very happy with that answer. 

"Yeah, me too." And then, after another unexpected kiss right on Liam's lips, Niall slid out from under his arm to get up, not letting go of his hand though but switching his so he could be on the right sight as he pulled a bit, trying to get Liam onto his feet as well. "Come on, let's go see if there's still dessert left, I'm kinda getting hungry again."

"Dinner was like half an hour ago, Nialler." Since Niall probably couldn't have pulled Liam up by himself, the older boy got to his feet himself, smirking a bit at what Niall had said because that was typical his boyfriend.

"I know, Li, that's why I was saying, let's go look for some snack or whatever, you don't want a grumpy and hungry boyfriend, trust me." As if Niall could have ever seriously gotten grumpy anyways, but Liam didn't say anything, he just shook his head a bit, smiling as he made sure to keep Niall close as they slowly made their way to the kitchen, preferably without having to do a lot of smalltalk with everybody they passed by like before. But then again, for some reason Liam didn't know whether there was anything that could have really annoyed him today anyways, for as long as he got to hold onto his boy, nothing could go wrong.

"Niall, honey, don't come in the kitchen just yet please." Stopping abruptly, Niall almost caused Liam to stumble in the doorframe as he stopped walking just as his mother told him to, though she didn't even look mad or anything, actually… she seemed quite amused even if she was in the middle of drying a plate.

"Um… why, what's the matter?" Niall seemed as confused as Liam felt, especially once he saw Harry and Louis sitting at the kitchen table, smirking a bit dumbly, with one of Louis' smaller sisters, quite possibly the one Liam had helped before, but he could never quite tell these twins apart.

"Are you really gonna make them do the same as us? We just ate, I don't really wanna have to gag right now." Louis joked about whatever was going on, making Harry laugh and ducking a bit as Niall's mum playfully hit him with the kitchen towel, quite obviously having a pretty good relationship with him. But then again, Niall and Louis had been best friends for such a long time, so Liam wasn't really surprised to be honest, besides, he was pretty sure he would've gotten the exact same treatment by now even if he had only been here for 2 days, but everyone was so nice and welcoming, it was insane.

"Do what…?" It was very understandable that Niall sounded quite scared and taken aback, it could never mean anything good if Harry was grinning like that, Liam had had way too many bad experiences with that, a trauma probably.

"Well, look up, there's-"

"You gotta kiss, there's a mistletoe!" Before Harry had had time to finish his sentence and tease them a bit more, Louis' sister had already blurted out with it, grinning brightly and showing off all of her missing front teeth while climbing over onto her brother's lap.

"Oh… there… really is a mistletoe." Niall had looked up first, still holding Liam's hand rather tightly, a very surprised expression on his face that quickly turned a lot happier as he looked at Liam again, just as the older boy decided to check as well. When had that mistletoe gotten there anyways? "Well… I guess this is a rule that we just can't break, Li, I'm sorry."

"Please do, I wanna keep that food in." To be honest, Liam wasn't too keen on kissing Niall in front of his mother, their best friends _and_ a little child, not that he was embarrassed, it's just… he rather saved those kinda things for when it was just the two of them, sure, he did sometimes give Niall a peck and held his hand and cuddled him, but it wasn't something he would've ever done before he had met the younger boy. 

"Shush, Harry, I'm trying to snog your best friend here." Well, it hopefully wasn't gonna go this far because Liam was feeling hot already and couldn't really look anyone into the eye besides maybe Niall, but seeing the boy's face, he seemed to really have more in mind here.

"Niall, maybe we should-" NOT snog in front of his mother, but Liam simply got cut off as Niall just giggled before letting his hand go and half throwing himself at the older boy, cupping his face and slamming their lips together, barely leaving Liam any time to react, still a bit aware of one of the other boy's making gagging sounds before his hands came to a rest on Niall's hips, somehow automatically, trying to relax into it.

The problem was, whenever they kissed, Liam had a hard time keeping anything else on his mind other than Niall and how desperately he wanted to deepen this kiss, which they did anyways, because the blonde boy seemed to have kind of the same problem. Or actually, maybe he just didn't care about who was watching them, because it quite seemed like it, the way he was latching onto Liam, standing on his tippy toes so they could do this properly, not shy to part his lips with a quiet sigh, running his tongue over Liam's to get him to comply.

And he did, because well, Liam would never ever reject the younger boy, it seemed to be quite impossible to even think about, so he turned his brain off once more, kissing the younger boy back but letting him take the lead, trying very hard not to let any sound escape or push Niall's shirt up. Or push _him_ against the wall, yeah, Liam kinda wanted to do that as well, god, they hadn't had a really good snog with no audience since this morning.

"Uh, guys, my sister is 6 years old, just saying… this is like a porno here." Actually, Liam was quite surprised that the first comment came from Louis and not Harry, all he knew was that pulling away from Niall was one of the hardest things he had done in a while, every other noise still sounding kind of like a blur as he kept staring into the younger boy's face, almost feeling embarrassed about how swollen his lips were. Almost.

"What's a porno?" Right, this was the moment where Niall started giggling, right against Liam's skin because of how close they still were, moving his hands from the older boy's cheeks down to shove them underneath his arms instead to hug his waist tightly, not shy to press another wet kiss onto Liam's lips before snuggling his head into the crook of his neck, way too happy about what had just happened. Well, he wasn't the only one.

"A very bad word, don't say that in front of mum, okay? Or she's not gonna let Harry stay over again and then he can't have tea parties with you anymore, and you don't want that, do you?" Besides the fact that Louis had to explain quite a few things to his little sister, Liam couldn't help but blush a bit under Harry's crooked smile he threw at them, slowly shaking his head, and Niall's mum's happy face, as if she might burst just watching them, not at all looking as if she might have found that snog inappropriate. 

"You boys are so cute, and don't get angry with me again, Ni, I'm not teasing you, I really mean it." There was no doubt that she did, because Liam had to actually look away then, trying to hide his smile by burying his red flushed face in the blonde's hair, hugging him back tightly, feeling goosebumps all over his skin whenever Niall breathed out against his bare neck.

"I'm not teasing either, Niall, but that was pretty gross." Louis got another smack with the kitchen towel for that and probably an angry glare from Niall that Liam couldn't see because he had his eyes closed, not bothered by this right now, not even focusing on anything besides Niall's warm body pressed into his, slightly swaying them from side to side, deciding that they had already taken it too far anyways, he might as well enjoy this for as long as possible, there would never come a day where Liam would say no to a cuddle.

Niall did get his dessert in the end, his mum even made him something simply because she found him and Liam so cute, and Niall plopped himself right onto the older boy's lap with the plate in his hands, immediately leaning back against him as Liam tightly wrapped his arms around Niall's stomach, pressing a kiss onto the back of his neck, quietly breathing in his familiar scent.

"I love Christmas." His mouth was quite full while he talked, but it still sounded very happy and Liam just couldn't manage to shut himself up despite the presence of the others, so he just hoped they weren't listening as he closed his eyes, mouth still against Niall's heated skin as he kissed up behind his ear to mumble, not even having planned on it, it was as if his feelings for the boy had gotten too much, he just had to get them out somehow. 

"I love _you_."


	12. Chapter 12

Niall felt a bit light headed, and slightly tipsy, which probably came from the pints he had had a few minutes before, but it was a special night so he hadn't felt too bad about drinking a little bit more, especially since it barely effected him anyways, it just made him a bit louder and happier, probably sleepy as well, but not right now, only in like an hour or so when they were already tugged in bed… well, maybe they'd do some stuff before, but quite honestly, Niall wouldn't be disappointed if they didn't, he just wanted to lie in Liam's arms, nothing else.

"… can't believe Harry got Louis that for Christmas, hell, there were like fifty children in the house." Still giggling before half falling into his room, Niall was very happy for his boyfriend's strong arms around him, keeping him steady and on his feet.

"More like ten, babe, and they were all near passing out, I don't think they noticed, there's a reason he gave it to him now instead of tomorrow morning… Are you okay, by the way? You seem a bit tipsy." Well, he was, and Liam knew that because he had been watching, not touching the tiniest amount of alcohol though.

"'m fine, Li, I can take it, you know me." Well, thinking about the time he had in fact had so much to drink Liam had had to get him before they had even properly known each other, maybe that wasn't the best thing to say. But then again, just the memory of this caused warmth to spread in Niall's tummy. "I'm gonna give you your present now."

"Are you sure you can walk, though? I can wait to see it if you don't hurt yourself in return…" It sounded very worried and Niall should've felt bad for enjoying this so much, but he loved the way Liam cared about him, how he never judged, never thought of himself and always put Niall first, it made him feel so incredibly special and loved, he'd never be able to tell the older boy how much exactly it meant to him.

"It's fine, Liam, just sit on the bed, okay? I'll be there in a second." Trying not to have yet another giggle fit, Niall gently unwound Liam's arms around him, getting onto his tiptoes to press a brief kiss to his boyfriend's cheek to maybe calm him down, not that it seemed like it helped, but the older boy at least brought himself to a small smile before nodding.

There was a reason why Niall hadn't put Liam's present down under the tree with the others, mostly because the kids never really payed attention to name tags and they usually all slept over because they found it exciting to have sleeping bags everywhere in the basement, but also, he kinda hadn't wanted everybody to see what he had gotten for his boyfriend. Not that it was anything inappropriate, just, he'd rather do it here, like this, after the excitement had worn down and everyone had gone to sleep seeing as it was like midnight, so he had simply hidden it in his drawer.

"Alright, it's… you know, I was considering a lot of things, but I knew you would've ripped my head off if I had spent a lot of money on you, so… I kinda spent it on the both of us instead." Ridiculous, but Niall felt slightly nervous as he made his way back to the bed where Liam was sitting, closing the door before coming to sit next to him, staring into his lap though, holding the envelope in his hands. "So… here you go…"

"Thank you, baby…" Liam was so sweet as he whispered, first of all kissing the side of Niall's head before taking his present slowly, causing the younger boy to look up again, brave enough to watch Liam's reaction now that he wasn't looking at Niall anymore.

Still, his heart was beating a bit uncomfortably, biting his bottom lip and fiddling his thumbs a bit, Niall tugged his feet under himself, not sure whether he should rather watch Liam's face or the boy's fingers fumbling with the envelope, so he settled for the last option, mostly because he was scared.

Liam seemed to take forever opening the paper, as carefully as if it was the actual present, as if he intended to keep it, like, Niall had really tried his best to make it look pretty and all, writing Liam's name on it, but he wouldn't have expected the older boy to care or notice. "You really tried hard with this, huh? I've never seen your handwriting being so neat."

"Just open it, Li." God, Niall was gonna explode with nervousness, he heard Liam laugh softly as he finally attempted to pull out whatever was inside the envelope, of course first of all silently reading the note Niall had put in there. Which he kinda regretted now, because it said a lot of cheesy stuff and it was too quiet in the room as Liam read it, bringing up emotions in Niall that he hadn't even known he could have, like, he never was this blushed or nervous about these kinda things, but…. Liam just meant too much to him to not take a risk.

After the older boy had finished, he luckily didn't make Niall wait any longer, just taking out whatever else was inside, needing a second to look at it, probably putting two and two together while Niall felt as if though it suddenly had 100 degrees in his room as he waited for a reaction. What if Liam found his idea shit? He always tried his hardest for Niall, maybe he should've gotten something else, something that was better than-

"You're so damn cute, Nialler, seriously, thank you so much, like, I don't even wanna know how much these reservations have cost, but I can't wait, babe." The knot in Niall's chest loosened a bit as he blinked slowly before looking up, a bit blown away by how genuine and bright Liam's smile was as their eyes met, as if he truly felt excited about this.

"I-I… I just thought, 'cos we have never been on a proper date and… and I didn't wanna like… _buy_ you something you might not like so I made reservations at this place I know my parents went for their anniversary the last few years and it's really good apparently and it's always full so you have to book it before hand, so it's for in two days and… well it's a bit fancier and I hope you don't mind but I chose it so we can remember it and if you don't want to then it's fine, I don't wanna f-"

"Hey, hey, shh, babe, I love this, okay? I really, really do, and I can't wait to go on a proper date with you, I'm so happy you got me this instead of anything else and that it's for the both of us, it makes this even better. Come here, Ni, thank you so much." After interrupting Niall's ramble that hadn't been going anywhere, Liam still had this really gorgeous, soft, smile on his lips as he stared at Niall lovingly, leaning forward to kiss his forehead before simply putting his arms around the younger boy, tightly as well, still holding onto his presents. "I love you so much, babe, I really do, don't ever be nervous about whatever it is you got me, okay? I'm gonna love it regardless of what it is, simply because it's from you. You don't even have to give me anything at all, having you and being allowed to spend Christmas with you here is the best present anyways."

"You're so cheesy, Li…" Niall mumbled into the older boy's shoulder, closing his eyes as he returned the hug, his stomach filling with butterflies at these words though, a smile forming on his lips all by itself. How could he have been scared about this? Of course Liam would react in the sweetest way possible, he was so perfect and he truly seemed to mean every single word he said, it got Niall even happier than he already had been feeling all day. If that was even possible. "I love you too, Li… and no problem, I can't wait to go on a proper date with you either."

"You better can't wait for it, babe." Then he laughed softly, sending vibrations through the younger boy's body as well, squeezing him really tightly all of a sudden and pressing a kiss to his ear before almost causing Niall to shriek as he let himself falling back on the bed, pulling the younger boy right on top of him. "God, you're so cute, Ni, I'm not ever gonna let go of you anymore, never again."

"Li, you're tickling me." He was, with his kisses below Niall's ear and breathing out against his skin, despite the very weird position they were in now, with Niall's back against Liam's chest while they were lying down, he was trying really hard not to laugh too loud or hurt Liam while trying to wiggle out of his tight grip.

"Oh, am I?" He didn't sound very surprised at all, his voice was all amused and Niall feared that this couldn't mean anything good, especially because he was so extremely ticklish that it was almost ridiculous. 

"Don't you dare, Liam, you know how-" And before Niall could even finish his sentence, attempting to sound somewhat firm while giggling like and idiot the whole time, Liam had let go with one arm, probably placing his present on the bedside table so he wouldn't ruin it, and then, he just flipped them over. "Liam, I'm warning you."

"Are you?" The amused look on his face meant nothing good, he was cocking his head, moving to straddle Niall's waist properly all of a sudden, grabbing a hold of both of his wrists. 

"Liam, don't do that, I'm gonna be so loud, and my mum and dad are down the hallway, I'm gonna wake up the whole house if you make me laugh." Well, maybe that was a bit exaggerated, but Niall was trying to save his own skin here, still feeling light headed though, and giggly as fuck, like, now that he had gotten such a great reaction to his presents, having Liam's bright grin hovering right over him, he was sure that Christmas eve had never ended in a better way. Well, seemed like it wasn't over yet.

"I think I'm gonna take the risk." And then, because his hands were a lot bigger than Niall's, Liam simply let go with one, holding both of the younger boy's wrist in one hand, moving them above Niall's head, pinning him down.

"Liam… don't do th-LIAM!" It was no use, trying to escape his grip, because Liam was so strong, laughing as he made Niall squeal and giggle underneath him by simply poking his rib a little bit, tickling his side then, up to his armpits and damn, Niall just couldn't hold back his laughter anymore then, he tried so hard, but he couldn't even properly move because of Liam's weight on him and his unforgiving fingers, making the older boy laugh along with him the whole time.

They didn't wake up anybody, well, if they did then no one came to complain, not that Niall would've noticed anybody coming in, he was panting heavily as Liam finally stopped tickling him, still chuckling and pretending to start all over again just to tease the younger boy, letting go of his wrists instead though. "You should've seen yourself, Ni, you were a mess."

"That wasn't very nice, Liam, there's better ways to use your strength than against your boyfriend, you know." Trying to sound mad while panting a bit, Niall didn't do a very good job at pretending to pout, it wasn't possible while having Liam on top of him, the comers of his eyes crinkling up as he laughed about the younger boy, suddenly leaning down to peck his mouth.

"Aww, come on, babes, your giggles are so cute, I couldn't help myself." Not a very good excuse though it was hard to not smile along when Liam was this happy and cheerful. "I'll make it up to you, okay?"

"I doubt that that's possible, but you can try." Niall forced himself to huff, suppressing the grin forming on his face as Liam leaned down once more, to kiss his nose this time, pulling right away again though, making Niall whine a bit.

"We'll see about that, Ni." Then he winked very obviously before sitting up, not ever moving his eyes away from Niall, staring at him so intensely and lovingly that the younger boy almost had to look away, not even noticing that he had moved his hands to pull his shirt back down because it had slipped halfway up thanks to Liam's tickles. "Don't."

For some reason though, Liam confused Niall quite a bit as he once more grabbed a hold of his wrists, letting go again immediately though once the younger boy had let go of his shirt, not having managed to pull it down more than a centimetre, his pale stomach all the way exposed. "What are you doing?"

All he got was another smile, Liam shuffled down a bit, still straddling Niall as he leaned down out of nowhere, pressing his lips right onto the boy's belly button, unwillingly making him giggle once more, because hell, this was tickling even worse than Liam's fingers.

"Li… what're you doing?" Niall tried again, not very sure what was going on, but he also kinda didn't want to push the older boy away, just threading his fingers through the brown hair softly as Liam continued placing butterfly kisses on his skin, laughing quietly but not really giving an immediate answer. 

"Nothing… I just love your tummy, that's all." Well, Niall wouldn't know why that would be, but he kinda believed Liam's words, simply because he trusted this boy with everything, and after all, it didn't feel bad at all, having him being as gentle as he always was, suddenly moving Niall's shirt up even higher, his amused grin being replaced by a soft smile. "This is okay, right?"

"Yeah…" Somehow, Niall didn't really find his voice anymore, he had dropped his hand next to his head now, just watching Liam, his heart speeding up a little bit as the older boy brushed the piece of cloth over his nipples until it was almost all the way shoved up to Niall's armpits. Alright, this was not how tickling usually ended, Liam seemed to be trying _really_ hard to to make up for it.

Well aware that maybe his chest was fallen up and down a bit too fast, Niall had no idea how to change that as Liam's hands stroked over his now almost completely exposed upper body, his eyes following his own movements while Niall just stayed still, enjoying the older boy's gentle touches, still not knowing what was going on, but his voice kinda got stuck in his throat as Liam disturbed the silence by whispering. "You're so incredibly beautiful and stunning, babe, I don't tell you often enough…" 

"I… thank you…" Was all Niall brought out, very surprised by this but also feeling heat building up in his face from that complement, which was quite inconvenient, because usually when he flushed, it went down all the way to his neck and since he was exposed like that, there was no way Liam wouldn't see it. "Liam…"

"Yes?" He stopped his hands for a second to look up at Niall, suddenly brushing some hair out of his face. God, he was gonna kill Niall with these loving, caressing strokes.

"Um… should I just… take it off?" Now that he had asked, it had sounded quite dumb, Niall almost wanted to take it back and slap himself if it hadn't been for Liam nodding, already about to help him getting rid of his shirt, a crooked smile on his lips.

"Sit up a bit, babe." This wasn't something they usually did, like, undressing each other like this, it kinda felt more intimidate and Niall couldn't exactly put his finger on what it was, but something about this made him feel all tingly and warm as he fell back into the pillow after Liam had dropped his shirt on the floor, leaning down to press their lips together shortly. "I love you."

"I love you too…" Niall almost only mumbled against Liam's mouth, keeping his eyes closed for a while even after the boy's warm breath wasn't mixing with his anymore and he felt his hands landing warm and big on his sides again, Liam's slightly rough palm and fingertips skating over his skin, all the way up and Niall's eyes flew open as he felt the older boy's thumbs brushing over his nipples. "Li…"

"You want me to stop?" What the hell, how could Liam even begin to think that?!

"No, please… please keep going…" Flushing a bit more because of how needy this had sounded, Niall let his eyes fall closed again after seeing Liam's worried look, his movements had frozen immediately after Niall had just made one single sound, that's how much he cared. If only he knew Niall hadn't even planned on saying his name, or sighing it actually, it had just slipped out somehow, because this felt amazing, not because he would ever want the older boy to stop caressing him.

Liam didn't lose another word about it, he just took up where he had left off, almost making Niall sigh in pleasure, but he tried his best not to embarrass himself with all those noises he wanted to let escape, slightly grabbing onto the pillow he was lying on, not really feeling prepared for it as the older boy leaned down once more, not to kiss him this time, but to let his breath brush over Niall's nipple, causing him to tremble slightly.

It wasn't new that Liam liked being a tease sometimes and it wasn't any different today as he ignored what Niall desperately wanted him to do for a while, just brushing his lips over the pink nub. Ignoring Niall's quiet whine for a while, the older boy finally did give in as Niall cupped the back of his neck to pull him down closer towards his body, almost having to sigh out in relief as Liam closed his lips around his nipple, his beard scratching over Niall's crazily sensitive skin as well, not allowing him to hold back that half moan.

Shit, of course Niall had had experiences like this with other people before, but it had never been as it was with Liam, he had never felt so good and safe with anybody else before, or had enjoyed it as much as he did now, fingers almost cramping up in the brunette's hair as he tried not to pull too tightly, eyes pressed closed. "Fuck, Liam… this feels… so good…"

There was no answer, but Liam continued with his treatment, using his tongue and sucking, almost making Niall mewl about which he was probably more than aware, because as he leaned back after a while, the younger boy didn't even have time to protest before Liam had already switched sides, rubbing Niall's now wet nipple between his thumb and forefinger while having his lips around the other, biting down ever so gently. "I love when you make these sounds…"

The fact that he talked and made his breath hit the younger boy's skin caused Niall to half choke on his moan once more, he didn't even have time to be embarrassed about any of this anymore, he just wanted Liam so badly, and his mouth felt so wet and warm and perfect against his skin, there was no space left in Niall's brain for anything else. "Yeah… yeah, just… just keep going… please…"

So Liam did for a while, moving to almost lie down fully on top of Niall, lips moving upwards then, placing wet, open mouth kisses up his chest and to his neck, nuzzling his nose there for a second before he lightly sucked on the blonde's skin, not enough to create a bruise but rather going higher, to his jaw and then the corner of his mouth. "Nialler…"

Before Niall could even think of answering, still having his hand wrapped in Liam's hair, the other one resting on he boy's biceps just to hold onto him in every way possible, Liam finally pressed a kiss onto his lips, immediately licking into his mouth, sending Niall to heaven with those long and deep strokes of his tongue, one palm pressed to Niall's side and the other cupping his cheek softly. 

"Ni…" Liam tried again, just barely pulling away, thumb brushing over Niall's skin, their breath mixing as they were both panting a little bit though they hadn't even made out for too long.

"Yeah…?" Honestly, talking was the last thing Niall felt like doing, he let his eyes flatter open a little bit, immediately closing them again as Liam started planting kisses all over his face, digging his fingers a bit deeper into his arm, hoping that he wasn't hurting him or anything.

"You know I… I know we haven't um… gone too far yet and that… that it was me who kinda um… prevented that from happening, but I… if you want to, I thought we… we could try something… something different tonight…" For a moment, Niall had no idea what he was even trying to say, or whisper actually, right against his skin, but as it slowly sunk in, he couldn't help but feeling heat coiling in his tummy, immediately trying to press Liam's body down tighter against him, wishing there weren't any clothes between them. Hell, how long had he waited for this?! Not very long actually, but still, Niall was so, so ready for whatever Liam wanted to do, he just fully wanted the older boy, in whatever way possible.

"Li, we can do anything you want… go all the way or not, I'm okay with everything, I… it's up to you, I wanna go as far as you want to, I want you so much, all of you." It felt so good to say that, and immediately being caught in a deep kiss afterwards, the older boy's mouth moving against his as he spoke afterwards, warm breath hitting Niall's spit slicked lips.

"Do you have, um… you know." Shit, he really was serious about this, Niall's whole body felt as if it were on fire as he pulled down Liam's head again, longing for the boy's sweet, plush lips against his, his kisses were so bloody fantastic, they could've been doing this for the rest of their lives if they hadn't needed oxygen.

"Yeah… drawer of my besides table, I… I bought it sometime back and I… I brought it, just in case we might need it… " The last thing Niall had wanted was to let anything get ruined because he hadn't been prepared, but there was excitement bubbling up inside of him now at the thought of actually needing the things he had bought.

"Okay… let's just see where this goes, okay? Don't wanna rush…" Of course not, that was typically Liam, he lowered his mouth onto Niall's again, kissing him for a while, slowly and deep, his chest fully pressing against the younger boy's now, he did keep his weight on his arms though, but Niall still felt the pressure and it was so, so good to have Liam this extremely close.

"I want your shirt off…" Niall couldn't wait any longer with his request, he blurted out with it as soon as they pulled apart and Liam was threading his fingers through the blonde hair, laughing a bit breathlessly at that.

"Well, if that's what you want, I guess I can't say no, can I?" The loss of his weight caused Niall to whine a bit, unwillingly, but he got a kiss on the forehead and his favourite crooked smile in return, so he allowed Liam to sit back up, watching intently as the older boy pulled his shirt over his head, muscles flexing a bit as he dropped it next to them on the bed. 

"You're so beautiful, Liam, I'm so damn lucky." He was and Niall knew it, even if Liam tried shrugging it off, but there definitely was some flush appearing on his cheeks, becoming more prominent as Niall reached out, still lying on his back, watching his own hands as he traced the outlines of the muscles on his boyfriend's stomach, loving the contrast of their skin.

"You can't be any luckier than I am, that's not even possible, baby." Yeah, maybe they were being cheesy as fuck, but that's just how they treated each other and Niall wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

He was about to protest, tell Liam more things that would make him even redder than he already was, but the older boy just laughed softly before simply leaning back down to kiss Niall once more, this time with their bare chests pressing against each other, giving Niall a million goosebumps on instant.

It was so good, just lying there and snogging Liam, with no pressure, no one there to see, he had been wanting to do this all day long, touch the older boy anywhere he could possibly reach, keep him this close, it all felt even more exciting and better now that they had had to wait for this.

Sure, Niall was trying to respect Liam's wish, to first see how it went, take it slow and stuff, but he couldn't help that those deep kisses, the way Liam sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and the groans he sometimes made in the back of his throat went straight to Niall's groin. There still were four layers of clothes between them, but he couldn't help but thrust his hips up a bit, feeling his jeans getting slightly tighter.

As Liam broke away for air, panting against Niall's cheek now and continuing to kiss there, Niall let one of his hands leave the brunette's hair, instead moving it to explore his smooth back, rubbing his palm over the heated skin until he reached the hem of Liam's jeans just as the older boy started sucking on his neck. 

There was no noise filling the room except for their panting, and the sound Liam made while creating a bruise on Niall's skin while the younger boy somehow turned his brain completely off, not feeling bad about straight shoving his hand past the older boy's jeans and boxers so he could touch his ass. But fuck, Liam did have a really nice ass, it wasn't Niall's fault that he couldn't resist.

"Need me to take those off too?" Liam chuckled lightly against the wet spot he had created on the blonde boy's neck, his tongue probably massaging it into a darker colour before he lifted his head, apparently not questioning Niall's hand still in his pants, cocking an eyebrow as he waited for an answer, lips swollen and red, just like Niall's felt. 

"I wouldn't say no to that…" Actually, Niall was just trying not to shout yes and rip Liam's clothes off himself because that's what he actually wanted, but instead, he kept it together, playing with the hair in the back of Liam's neck, slowly attempting to put his other hand somewhere more appropriate.

"Alright, but yours have to go first, sorry." Well, he wasn't gonna say no to that either, Liam kissed his lips before sitting up once more, causing Niall's arms to drop next to his head, just watching whatever the other boy was doing, not really minding what it was really, Liam could do anything to him he wanted. 

"Okay… go on then." All Niall got for that was a low chuckle before Liam moved again so he could easily reach Niall's belt, making short process with both that and the button and zipper of his jeans, petting his hipbone afterwards. 

"Lift your hips a bit, babe." So Niall did, biting back a grin as Liam still had a hard time taking his pants off, not his boxers though for whatever reason. "Why am I doing all the work here while you're watching?"

"Because it's hot when you're taking my clothes off… what about my boxer shorts though, Liam?" As soon as his jeans were gone, Niall would've expected the older boy to take care of the rest too, but he just laughed at the comment before going for his own belt, undressing himself a lot quicker and easier than Niall could've ever managed in this kinda position. 

"We're taking it slow, remember?" Of course he was doing this to annoy the younger boy, that cheeky smirk on his face was saying enough as he came to lie back down, kicking their jeans off of the end of the bed before, this time with his thigh ending up right between Niall's legs. "What's that grumpy face for, love?"

"I haven't seen you naked since this morning, that's not fair, Li." Niall tried whining, but all he got was a chuckle and a chaste kiss on his lips, then another after Liam had fully settled down, his hand stroking the hair away from Niall's face in slow motions as he lovingly stared down at him, not very impressed by that argument.

"I'm just trying to make this special." Shit, what could he have said against that? Even if Liam was smiling, Niall knew that the older boy meant it, it's why they had waited for so long in the first place, because Liam had always told him how he wanted to wait for a better moment, how he didn't want to plan it and just wait until the situation naturally led to and hell, could they have found a better moment than Christmas Eve?

"Can I at least get a kiss then…?" Niall's voice had gotten softer all by itself, he saw it in Liam's eyes, that he truly loved him and only wanted the best for him and though he was impatient, Niall appreciated all of this, knowing that no one he had ever been with before would've ever treated him like this, as if he was the most important thing in the world and only deserved the best. But Liam managed to make im feel like this, with just one single look.

"Always, babe." As he fitted their mouths together this time, Niall wrapped both of his arms around Liam's neck, to make sure he really had him close, not hesitating to part his lips for the older boy like so many times before. For some reason though, it felt more intense now, partly because of them almost being naked, their skin touching in every way possible, but partly also because of the anticipation, now that Niall knew that Liam had said okay to going further, maybe all the way, he had this heat in his belly that grew hotter with every second passing.

Since Liam had his leg right in between Niall's, probably on pure purpose, every tiny movement he made went straight to the younger boy's groin, he was 99% sure that Liam could feel him getting harder very clearly, but he just kept on kissing him deeply, not doing or saying anything about Niall rubbing off against his leg unconsciously, groaning into the older boy's mouth as he created the right amount of friction. 

"Liam… can we… get naked now?" The question seemed to be quite appropriate actually, Niall was feeling so hot by now, he could feel sweat starting to form on his forehead, their skin was sticking a little bit together as well, both of them having to catch a little bit of air from all that snogging. 

"Hmm… I don't know…." Liam kept on teasing, kissing his way down Niall's neck and almost making him whine in desperate need, but the younger boy still tilted his head back to give his boyfriend better access, even if he only briefly sucked on where there probably already was a bruise before continuing, down Niall's chest, letting his breath hit his nipples once more and causing the younger boy's breath to stop before he already carried on, kissing down his abdomen all the way to the hem of his boxer shorts. Not that he could've gone any further without killing Niall with arousal. "Niall? Are you still breathing?"

"No. Take them off, Liam, please." His breath really did come in only pants, Niall threw a look down where Liam was kneeling between his legs now and caressing his knee while smiling at him, having to move an arm over his eyes because he thought he couldn't take the sight without something very embarrassing happening.

Liam didn't answer, he kept on running his fingertips over Niall's upper thighs, having way too much fun with all of this, ignoring the way the younger boy's legs were trembling. Actually, he had the nerve to chuckle over Niall expressing his displeasure by letting out a grunt, about to say something as the older boy suddenly leaned down again, almost causing Niall to jolt into a sitting position by mouthing over the clothed outlines of Niall's meanwhile pretty hard cock.

"Liam…" His arm dropped over his head as Niall opened his eyes in shock, Liam had never done this before, they had never actually gone down on each other even if Niall had been wanting to and asking about it of course, like this morning, but he hadn't thought he'd be the first one to feel the other's mouth on him. "Li, I… L-Li…fuck…"

It felt way too good as to push him off, Niall couldn't help but moan lowly as Liam licked a fat stripe over the fabric of his boxers, getting the material even wetter than it already had been, it's not that Niall could control this, but all the snogging and talking had made his boxer shorts quite damp already and Liam having his mouth right there, one arm draped around the younger boy's stomach to keep him down, wasn't helping very much with that.

"Liam, you… ugh… you don't have to… to do that I… aah… " Yeah, Niall actually had no idea anymore what he was trying to achieve, his brain felt quite useless as he watched Liam between his legs, his palms still resting on Niall's upper thighs, suddenly moving them up while still mouthing at head of Niall's hard member.

"I want to though…" Fuck, his hot breath had Niall trembling even worse, he just gave it up then, letting his eyes fall closed, his hand helplessly hovering over the back of Liam's head, resisting the urge to press him closer and instead pulling his hair, probably hurting him but Liam never lost a word about it.

As he slipped the last piece of clothing off of the younger boy, Niall thought he'd have to die, hissing a bit as the cold air hit him, the sticky smear of his precum having created quite a mess on his skin and Liam leaning down once more, letting his breath wander over the younger boy's length, wasn't making things any better. He wouldn't do it, would he? Not before Niall had given him a blow job, hell, he wanted to touch the other boy so fucking badly, go onto his knees for him, yet here he was moaning and winding while their places were switched. "Liam… "

"It's all good babe, relax." Hell, that was easier said than done, Niall was about to say something, maybe attempt to sit up and rip those bloody boxer shorts off of his boyfriend, but he never got the chance because he had to grip tightly onto Liam's arm around his stomach as the older boy placed a kiss on the head, lapping at the precum and Niall almost died, his moan broke off in a sob as Liam licked down his length, still pressing the younger boy into the mattress and bringing his second hand up to fondle his balls, just barely letting one finger snub down to Niall's hole, but it was clearly enough to cause the younger boy to cry out, panting almost panicky.

"Stop….aah…stop, Li… 'm gonna cum… stop…" It felt too good, Liam mouthing and licking over his exposed cock, getting him harder than he could remember ever being while only barely pressing the tip of his finger into the younger boy, using his wetness so he wouldn't hurt him. "I don't… don't wanna come anywhere else than with you inside me… Liam… fuck, please…"

"You got lube?" Finally, Liam stopped for a second, lifting his head a bit, his hand still resting near Niall's hard on as the younger boy nodded rapidly, letting go of Liam's arm to half blindly search for his bedside drawer, more than relieved for only having the items they needed in there, almost hitting Liam in the head with the condom and bottle of lube. "So eager you trying to kill me?"

"Liammm… don't make any jokes now, I'm about to bust." Niall tried to sound annoyed, but he just laughed helplessly along with Liam, clearly being a lot more out of breath though, especially while watching Liam opening the lube, propping up his feet on the bed now to make things a bit easier.

"Sorry, baby…" There was a very gentle kiss on his knee as Liam slicked his fingers up, he didn't seem nervous about this, maybe a little bit, but it went completely different from what Niall would've expected it, not that that was a bad thing, he loved when Liam took the lead, because he trusted the boy with his life. "You done this before, Ni, right?"

"Yeah… you too?" Niall was pretty sure they had talked about this before, but his brain wasn't working correctly, he was trying so hard not to touch himself right now it was almost embarrassing. 

"Yeah… tell me if I'm hurting you, okay? I'll be as gentle as I can." Liam promised, throwing a smile at the younger boy and rubbing his clean hand down his leg, maybe to calm him down even if Niall didn't need that right now, while his other disappeared beneath the boy where it had already been before, again causing the blonde boy to let out a gasp. "I'm gonna press one in, okay? Relax, Nialler…"

"Y-Yeah…" Not really able to talk while Liam rubbed a tight circle over his hole to slick him up, Niall tried his best to do as he had been told when he felt the tip of Liam's finger slipping inside a little bit, it's not that this was something he had never felt before, but it still had been a while. "I-It's okay… doesn't hurt…"

"Okay… fuck you're tight, Niall…" Hearing those kinda things out of Liam's mouth weren't helping Niall with his little problem, he was still incredibly hard, feeling more precum dripping onto his belly as Liam pushed his whole finger in, waiting a second before moving it, his eyes never leaving the younger boy's face. "Good?"

"Yeah…do a-another too… " There was a dull pain, but it didn't feel bad in any way, in fact, Niall had to close his eyes and stop watching in order to hold back, he was sure that he'd come within five seconds if Liam brought his other hand anywhere near his dick, but luckily he just searched Niall's, knotting their fingers together as he worked his finger inside of him, lining up another in the process.

This time it hurt a little bit more, but the longer Liam thrust his fingers in and out, the more did pleasure overtake the pain and Niall couldn't help but squeeze his boyfriend's hand tightly while panting, chest heaving as he let out an involuntary yelp because of Liam hitting that special spot inside of him once, scissoring his fingers to loosen him up a bit more. "You okay, baby? Was that pain or…?"

"N-No…fuck… right t-there, Liam, don't stop… " Not being able to help himself, Niall tried pushing down towards Liam's hand, faintly remembering his words from before, but he just couldn't hold back anymore, he was so fucking hard and turned on and hell, Liam had his fingers inside of him and his palm was getting sweaty from how hard he was holding the older boy's hand, Niall couldn't take this anymore. "Liam… please fuck me, please, Li… I can't… ugh, fuck…"

"Let me do one more, okay? I don't wanna risk hurting you." His voiced had sounded a bit different now, not that Niall could judge really, seeing as his eyes were pressed closed and his lip almost bleeding from how hard he was biting onto it, a bit of a too loud moan escaping him as Liam pressed in a third finger, stretching him out even more, but fuck, this was such a good kinda pain. "You okay?"

"Y-Yeah…" Niall really appreciated the other boy's concern, but right now he was clearly feeling anything besides uncomfortable, gripping the sheets with his free hand as Liam continued thrusting his fingers in a somewhat steady rhythm, every now and then brushing his sweet spot and getting another groan out of Niall. They really would wake up the whole house after all, not that Niall cared, he just decided to screw it all actually, not really thinking as he wrapped the hand he wasn't holding Liam's with around his own length, stroking himself slowly, almost being pushed over the edge if it hadn't been for his boyfriend suddenly letting go of his other hand to grab a hold of his wrist.

"No, no, wait, Nialler, I… shit, let me just get the condom." He sounded a bit panicked all of a sudden, fingers stilling inside the younger boy as he pulled his hand away, making Niall whine with loss as he slowly pulled them out. "Shit, where is it, Niall, where did you-"

"Here." Once again, Niall almost hit the older boy in the face with it, keeping his eyes open now, breath going a bit more even again as he just watched Liam getting rid of his boxer shorts, surprising Niall a bit because he was just as hard as the younger boy, even if he had been completely untouched before jerking himself a few times now, ripping the condom package with his teeth. Shit, why was even that turning Niall on?! "Hurry, Li…"

"I am…" Liam swore a bit under his breath as he rolled the condom on, reaching for the lube again, all under Niall's stare, he had almost sat up to do this himself, but Liam had been way too fast for that, as if he was just as eager for this to happen as the younger boy. "Okay…okay, come here, you alright? You really want-"

"Bloody hell, Liam, what do you think you just had your fingers inside of me?" It was a very weak joke, also hadn't really been intended to be, but Liam flashed him a weak grin, nodding once as he took a deep breath, finally moving to get on top of Niall again, he had been missing his weight for way too long. 

Still, Liam didn't fully lie down yet, he just leaned onto his elbow for now, pecking Niall's lips softly while using his other hand to spread the boy's legs a bit wider so he could fit in between comfortably before taking a hold of himself, eyes locking with Niall's again. "There's nothing I'd rather be doing than this, you know. Or anybody else I ever wanted to do this with more than you."

"Me neither…" If they were gonna get cheesy now Niall would burst out into tears, he was quite close already, partly from pleasure but also because he was just staring up at Liam, holding onto his biceps again, other hand scrunched into the hair in the back of his neck where it had gone a bit sweaty, overwhelmed by how much he loved him, by how much he fucking wanted this. "Do it."

"Okay…" Hesitating for a moment, Liam pressed yet another kiss on Niall's mouth before looking down to guide himself inside of the younger boy, causing both of them to make a noise as he lined himself up, only barely pushing in, stopping for a second as Niall pressed his eyes shut once more, clinging to the older boy's broad shoulders.

Liam was thicker than three fingers, it hurt more than before, but Niall never lost a word about it, he just tried to control his breathing, tried to focus on Liam's somewhat even panting against his skin as he pushed himself into Niall, all the way until he was bottoming out, their hips flush together, Niall's dick trapped between their bellies as Liam got down fully, pressing a kiss on each of the younger boy's closed eyelids.

"Baby? Did I hurt you? I'm sorry if I did, you didn't say anything so I thought you're alright, should I pull out?" Sometimes Liam was too worried and caring for his own good.

"Don't you bloody dare, Liam." Niall's laugh sounded a bit choked, he let his eyes flatter open slowly as he felt Liam's hand removing the sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, studying his face rather intently, as if he was still scared Niall might be in pain. That boy, impossible. "Feels so good, Li… I feel so fucking full, shit…you can move, you know, I'm ready."

"Okay, I… I'm gonna go slow, alright? You feel so bloody good too, Nialler, I'm gonna make this perfect for you, I promise." He wasn't doubting that, especially not as Liam caught his lips in another deep kiss, leaving his hand in the blonde hair as he slowly lifted his hips before rocking back inside, punching a grunt out of Niall because damn, he had never even imagined that it could feel like this, Liam inside of him, so thick and hot, them panting into each other's mouths, it was perfect already, there was no need to change anything. 

"Faster, Liam… harder…" The fact that he was holding back was a pretty gentleman thing to do, but Niall got needy again after like two minutes, moving his head to the side so he could talk, feeling Liam's pants against his jaw now, tightening his arms impossibly more to keep the older boy his close as possible while wrapping his legs over the back of Liam's thighs.

"Love you so much, baby…" Liam mouthed against his skin before grunting, his thrusts becoming harder and deeper, hitting Niall in all the right places, having him moaning nonstop now, it felt too good, and a part of Niall wished that they wouldn't have used the condom, he loved Liam so much, it caused him to tear up as he thought about it, he wanted all of the boy, wanted to have him everywhere at once even if that was impossible.

"I love you too… so much…" He'd never be able to put it into words, but Niall turned his head again, blindly trying to find Liam's mouth with his, attempting to put everything he couldn't say into this one kiss, hoping that those stupid tears weren't gonna spill over now.

As Liam managed to get a hand in between them, probably having the bed creaking by now, Niall almost let a sob escape at feeling the older boy's fist around him, jerking him off in time with his deep thrusts, his mouth slipping off then as he had to catch his breath, mouth hovering over Niall's still. "You gonna… cum?"

"Yeah… Liam… Liam, shit…" Nothing was leaving the younger boy's except for moans consisting of his boyfriend's name, his fingernails were probably breaking skin judging from how tightly he was clenching onto Liam, legs slipping off now, they were burning a bit from having them spread for so long. "Yes… yes, keep going, Liam…"

"C'mon, babe, come for me." Having Liam whispering in his ear before gently sucking on his earlobe, his thumb pressing against the head of Niall's dick and an extra hard thrust aimed right at his prostate was all the other boy needed to come with a strangled sob, clenching around Liam without noticing as he was riding out his high, probably being loud enough for his parents to hear all the way down the hall. Fuck that. "You're so hot when you come, shit…"

"Fuck, Li…" Niall's chest was heaving as he was coming down slowly, he felt as if though he had just gone to heaven, and Liam was still fucking into him, more frankly now, obviously nearing his own orgasm and Niall spoked without thinking, the words were just falling out, his head feeling dizzy from how amazing he was feeling. "You're so good, Li, so fucking good, that was perfect… _you_ are perfect… come on, I know you're close, come on, babe…" 

They weren't looking at each other, mostly because Niall still had his eyes closed, but also because Liam buried his face in the pillow next to Niall's head as he let out a grunt, then a deep groan as he came inside of the younger boy, his heavy and sweaty body pressing into Niall with almost all of his weight as he continued thrusting for a while, nothing coming over his lips as he reached his high except for a light moan consisting of Niall's name.

And that was all the blonde boy needed for his tears to spill over, due to the fact that Liam collapsed right on top of him, he could hug him even tighter, tears rolling down the side of his face as they were staying still their after Liam had come down, their chests pressing against one another as they both tried to catch their breaths, Niall desperately clutching onto his boyfriend. His emotions were overwhelming him, hell, he was almost sobbing now, he couldn't believe that this had happened, that it had been so much better than he had imagined, that Liam was still inside of him, heavily lying on top of him, both of them gross and sweaty, but it was still the most perfect moment Niall had ever experienced. How could this be, that he had gotten this terribly lucky? Was that even possible?

"Niall…" Liam cleared his throat after a while, he sounded pretty exhausted as he lifted his head, needing a second or two for his eyes to go wide, immediately cupping Niall's cheek with his clean hand. "Babe, what's wrong, why are you crying?! Oh god, did I do anything, did I-"

"N-No." Niall sniffed, not being able to wipe his eyes because he wanted to hold onto Liam, just staring up at him like this got him crying all over again, he was so wonderful and gorgeous and Niall was a freaking mess. "No… t-they're h-happy t-tears… I'm s-sorry… I l-love y-you, L-Liam…"

"God, Nialler, you're gonna kill me…" His face had gone soft immediately, but now Liam's eyes were kinda getting shiny as well as he smiled gently, pressing kisses into Niall's face, catching a few of the tears escaping, also with his thumb. "I love you too, god, I don't know why we waited so long to do this but I've never felt this good with anybody else, Ni, I'm never gonna want anybody else, babe, never, you're everything to me and I can't wait to go on a date with you and hell, I can't even wait for the next Christmas we'll spend together, all of them actually, I just wanna be with you, always."

See?! How can anyone not be a crying mess when Liam was so cheesy and honest and god, Niall was gonna lose it. "M-Me t-too… L-Li… d-don't m-move…"

"I'm not, Ni, we can stay like this for as long you want to, okay? There's no need to cry, baby, I love you so much, come here." And then he just started scattering kisses all over the younger boy's face again, whispering soothing words to him in order to calm him down while Niall just kept holding on and sniffing every few seconds, kinda angry at himself for being so dumb and getting his sight all blurry when he could have used the time to stare at the older boy. 

But at least he felt him, everywhere at once, and everything smelled like him as well, and after Niall had needed half an hour to get to a somewhat stable state again and they were lying in bed under the blanket all cuddled up and as close as humanly possible, he still wasn't quite sure if this had really happened, not even as Liam pressed a very realistic feeling kiss against his swollen lips, slotting his leg between Niall's so they could be closer. "Merry Christmas, Nialler."

No matter what was lying underneath that Christmas Tree for Niall tomorrow morning, nothing could ever top the fact that he had gotten his own personal angel to fall asleep with.

 

——————

 

The poking against Niall's bare shoulder wasn't exactly what he thought he would wake up to, he tried swatting the hand away, moving closer into the warm body next to him, not even bothering to open his eyes, he could smell and feel Liam next to him, he didn't care about anything else right now. 

"Niall, Niall, wake up!" Well, that definitely did not sound like his boyfriend at all, maybe it was a dream, but then again, there was this bloody poking again and it was really getting freaking annoying. "Niall! Louis said he is gonna come kick your butt if you don't get up!"

Alright, now the screaming and the mentioning of his best friend's name got Niall a bit suspicious despite his half sleepy state, he felt Liam's arm tightening around his waist, pulling him closer as the older boy mumbled something, making it hard for Niall to move onto his other side, slowly blinking his eyes open to find out the source of the poking. "What the hell is going on, I- oh shit… I-I mean… I… how did you get in here?!"

Shit, not only had Niall just cursed in front of one of Louis' sisters, he was also in bed with his boyfriend and above that, both of them were bloody naked underneath the blanket. "The door was unlocked and your mummy said you have to get up and everybody is downstairs and we're looking at all the presents, because Santa was here!" 

Right, sometimes the kids were really cute, Niall found himself smiling for a second, propping himself up on his elbow, which was hard with Liam being pressed against his back, blinking a few times to see the little girl standing in front of his bed. Well, at least it wasn't Louis because he for sure would have not ignored the clothes scattered on the floor and god knows, he might have even pulled their blanket away because he probably wasn't expecting that they had had sex last night. Just thinking about that got Niall feeling hot again, it also felt quite inappropriate right now to remember, but he couldn't exactly help it. "Okay, tell my mum we will be downstairs in a few minutes, alright? And then I'll look at all the toys you got, okay?"

"Okay! Is Liam in bed with you too?" She probably hadn't seen him until now because Niall was the one lying on the edge, but he felt himself flushing at the question, as if a child would know what that meant.

"Um, yeah…" What else was Niall supposed to say really, he pulled the blanket up a bit higher, just in case, making sure him and Liam were both fully covered.

"Why?" Great.

"Because… because we had a sleepover, just like you did in the basement, but it was just the two of us. Now go and tell my mum or they're gonna open the presents without you." Yeah, well, it had definitely been a sleepover, right, that wasn't even a lie, they had been sleeping after all, rather late, but still.

As soon as she was gone, of course leaving the door wide open and screaming something through the whole house while half falling down the stairs judging by the sounds, Niall fell back onto his back with his head landing on Liam's arm, the other one slipping around his stomach now. "Bloody hell…"

"Was it the kids…?" Liam's raspy morning voice almost caused Niall to flinch, he hadn't expected the other boy to be awake, but as he looked over, rolling onto his side so they could face each other, Liam was yawning a bit, rubbing his eyes with his fist before putting his palm back onto Niall's bare hip.

"Yeah… and we're both butt naked, but she luckily didn't see anything, we gotta lock the door next time." Not noticing what he had said, Niall was a bit confused about Liam's chuckle, trying to press himself closer into the older boy, lifting a hand to run through the brown hair.

"Next time, huh?" Oh.

"Well, I'm gonna assume this was not the last time we had sex, Liam." God, Niall was already so blushed it was embarrassing, at least it was dark in his room, other than the light coming in from the hallway, they probably should've gotten up and dressed, but… it was so warm and snuggly in bed, Niall never wanted to move again.

"I was joking, baby, you think I'd stand to never have sex with you again?" Well, that sounded a lot better, Liam pressed a kiss onto the younger boy's forehead, stroking his hand up Niall's side and then down his back, pulling him in close by wrapping his legs around one of Niall's, a smile forming on his lips. "Thank you for last night, Ni, that was probably the best night of my life, just saying."

He just said it like that before pecking the younger boy's lips, causing quite a big lump in Niall's throat that he tried to quietly get rid of, hoping that he wasn't gonna start crying yet again. "Mine too… and don't thank me, Li, if anything, I should be the one thanking you."

"Don't be silly, Nialler, you don't have to thank me for anything at all. I'm just happy you found it as amazing as I did, I really wanted to make this perfect for you, you know, its why I waited so long, but I'd say it was worth it." Definitely, more than that actually, Niall got it now, why Liam had wanted to take it so slow, he used the fact that he already had his hand in the older boy's hair, pulling his head closer for a bit of a deeper kiss, not being able to hold his smile back in the middle of it.

"It really was worth it, Li, and it was more than just amazing, you're making me feel better than anyone has ever done before. I love you." Kissing him again, Niall felt warmth bubbling up in his stomach as he latched onto Liam, if it had gone after him, and if he hadn't heard the voices from downstairs, he wouldn't have said no to a second round right at the spot.

"I love you too, Nialler…" Liam whispered hotly against his lip, pressing them together once more before pulling away all of a sudden, his fingers still dancing across Niall's skin as his grin came back. "Come on now, I think I heard someone saying that Santa came, I think we should go and check."

"Ugh, but I don't wanna mooove, Liammm…" To prove his point, Niall quickly wrapped himself all around the older boy, heart speeding a bit up from their skin brushing everywhere, not one layer of anything in between them. "I just wanna stay with you here forever and never get dressed again or stand up, can we please do that?"

"I'm afraid it's not gonna work that way, Niall, but if we get up now then we can take a shower together, because we really do have to save time if we don't want anyone coming to get us again." Did that mean Liam suddenly was as keen as Niall to get them to shower together?

"You know we're not gonna save time if we shower together, right? It's gonna take like 50 times longer if anything." Niall threw in, but he had already pressed a big kiss onto Liam's cheek, slowly unwinding their tangled up lips, smirking as he watched the older boy shrugging, turning onto his back after Niall had sat up to stare down at him, once again overwhelmed by how beautiful he looked, even after waking up.

"I think they're gonna survive without us for a few more minutes." That's exactly what Niall liked to hear.

It took them like half an hour, or maybe a bit longer, to get showered and dressed and walk downstairs hand in hand. They hadn't done anything in the bathroom, but it had still been too relaxing to get right out again, plus Niall happily took his mother's glare and Harry's and Louis' looks on him if that meant he got Liam massaging his scalp and placing kisses on his shoulder, that shouldn't have even been a question actually.

"My sister just asked me if I also sleep in bed with my underwear lying next to me, what have you been doing, you naughty boy, Niall." They had dropped onto the couch next to Louis and Harry because there wasn't space anywhere else, and Niall had to sit sideways, with his legs over Liam's lap, leaning against the armrest because they only had one seat to themselves, too bad. Not. 

"Well, what do you think we have been doing?" Niall tried to sound annoyed, leaning his head against Liam's arm but not being able to hold back that grin, he was so thrilled because of last night and the whole situation in general, every touch from the brunette boy getting him to cloud nine, even if it was just his arm wrapping around his knees. 

"Probably not setting up doll houses like I have just done for an hour, seriously, why do kids get up at 8am? It was pitch black and there was a bloody blizzard when we were walking over here." Harry sounded quite exhausted, it was kind of funny for Niall to watch actually, the way both his boyfriend and Harry seemed to fit right into the picture, as if they had always spent Christmas here, as if they had all known each other since ages. 

"Told you you could sleep over. But actually, I'm pretty glad you didn't." Oops, maybe Niall had said a bit too much, because the other's faces quickly turned a bit more disgusted while Liam blushed slightly, but he was still smiling as he met Niall's eyes, not at all protesting as the younger boy pressed a kiss onto his mouth, not thinking about the other 50 people in the room, he didn't care, he felt as if he was on a high right now.

"Anyways… you guys gotta open your presents, I'm pretty sure your mum got you the same she did for me and Louis." Before Niall could ask what exactly that might be, Louis was already pointing to what both he and Harry were wearing, some quite ugly but matching Christmas sweaters, which really did look a lot like something his mum would buy, actually, Niall couldn't even believe that she had gotten presents for Liam and Harry, like, she had never even met them before? Then again though, that was just typically his family.

"I'm not taking my hoodie off though, it's way too comfortable." It also was Liam's, Niall had snatched it out of the boy's bag when they had gotten dressed, quite happy about Liam's fond smile as he had put it on, he was looking at him in almost the exact same way now, tightening his arm around Niall's shoulders, pressing a small kiss to the side of his head. 

"Can you two stop being so cheesy all the time? It's pretty distracting and I don't even know where to look anymore." Louis pretended to be mad as Niall playfully kicked him with his foot after that comment, he was way too happy as to take this seriously, he had Liam's arms around him and that's all he would ever need.

They kept on talking for a while, having to raise their voices because of all the noise in the living room, Niall was mostly watching Liam though, playing with the boy's fingers, sometimes snatching a kiss from him and ignoring the other's protests, feeling content and happy all around. Well, he did until that bright expression on Liam's face suddenly disappeared from one second to the other.

"Li? What's wrong?" Staring at him worriedly, Liam didn't react immediately, he let go of where his arm had been around Niall's legs over his lap to reach the pockets of his jeans, pulling his phones out all of a sudden. 

"I… I gotta, um… take this, I'll be right back, babe, 'm sorry." The fact that his phone had apparently been ringing wasn't what worried Niall, it was the way all colour had drained out of Liam's face as he had thrown a glance at the screen, eyes going wide before he had quickly tried to overplay it, probably for Niall's sake.

"You okay, Liam?" Very obviously not, Niall's heart beat sped up uncomfortably as he put his feet onto the floor, allowing Liam to get up, receiving a half hearted peck onto the lips and a very forced looking smile.

"Yeah, I'll be right back, baby." And then Liam just walked out of the room, phone already pressed to his ear, and Niall lost sight of him as he walked around the corner, leaving him with a very bad feeling in the depth of his stomach. Who had been calling Liam? What if… what if it were his parents? To yell at him because he hadn't been there last night? Or maybe they just wanted to wish him Merry Christmas, yeah, Niall was gonna tell himself that it was that, he didn't want Liam to feel bad for being here, he wanted the older boy to love it just as much as Niall loved having him home.

"Where'd he go?" Harry seemed quite confused, chewing on some cookies Louis had gotten from the kitchen before, both of them staring at Niall now and the younger boy had quite the problem hiding his worries, he usually didn't have to do that so it was hard for him.

"Um… he got a call, he walked outside to pick up, it's pretty loud in here." And maybe Niall hadn't been supposed to hear it, but he pushed that thought into the back of his mind, unconsciously starting to chew on thumb nail, desperate for his boyfriend to come back. Silly but true, he kinda already missed him already, they had been living on top of each other for the past 2 days and Niall wasn't even near of getting sick of it.

"Maybe it's Zayn, he usually doesn't get up before 12 pm though so that'd be weird, but I bet it's nothing, no need to worry, Nialler." Niall was like 100% sure that this definitely was NOT Zayn on the phone, but he nodded anyways, trying to put up his usual smile and pretending not to notice the way Harry and Louis were exchanging a look. Yeah, they all knew that this definitely was something to worry about.

Still, none of them brought it up again for the next few minutes, Niall promised his mum he would open his presents as soon as Liam got back, he also watched Louis playing horse for his sisters and Harry almost joking on laughter, but it barely got him to crack a tiny smile.

This was so weird, the look on Liam's face, the fact that he was staying away for so long, like, at least twenty minutes now, Niall honestly felt like throwing up all of a sudden, it probably was nothing and he was being overdramatic, but then again… why hadn't Liam come back and why had he gotten so pale? 

Even though Niall felt bad for kind of sneaking after his boyfriend and invading his privacy, he still got up after no one had been paying attention to him for a while, not being able to stand this anymore, he didn't wanna secretly listen to Liam's conversation, he just wanted to know whether this was a good or bad phone call, then he'd immediately come back to the living room again.

Playing with his sleeves all the way to the front door, Niall hesitated for a second before pressing the handle down, he knew Liam had gone outside, because this house was literally packed with people everywhere, so it made everything even stranger, that he hadn't come back yet, though it was ice cold outside and probably snowing.

Niall tried to be as quiet as possible so he wouldn't disturb, immediately shivering as soon as the door was just a crack open, it was so bloody cold, he had no idea how Liam had survived staying outside for so long, like, sure, the porch had a roof, but that didn't change anything about the temperature.

For a second, Niall almost thought Liam wasn't even there because there was clearly no one talking outside, but as he pushed the door open fully, he saw the older boy's back, leaning his arms against the railing and watching the carless street, apparently not having noticed Niall's presence, but also, he clearly wasn't talking on the phone to anybody, what the hell was he doing?!

"Li?" Niall tried carefully, still in the doorframe, not wanting to step outside because he was just wearing socks and he was sure his feet would turn into ice blocks if he did, but then again, something was off with Liam and it caused him to frown.

"Wha- Nialler…" He had turned around almost immediately, flinching a little bit, obviously having been lost in thoughts, but what worried the younger boy even more was the look on Liam's face, he tried to quickly get it under control as soon as he saw Niall, but he had clearly had the most desperate expression on his face that Niall had ever seen. "Babe, it's cold."

"I know, Liam, that's why I'm wondering why you're out here… everything alright? Who was on the phone?" Well, maybe it was none of his business, but Niall couldn't help but blurt out with his question, he was so scared all of a sudden, and it hurt to see Liam so sad, trying to cover it up with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"I… come here, Ni, you're shivering." He was, and actually, Niall wanted to suggest they just go back inside, but he never got that far, he just pulled the door closed after himself, making sure to quickly make his way over to where Liam was standing, hands hidden in his hoodie as the older boy pulled him to stand in front of him, arms wrapping around Niall's stomach from behind, chin leaning against the top of his head after placing a warm kiss. "I'm sorry…"

"For what?" None of this helped to clear up Niall's confusion or calm him down, he freed his hands from his sleeves, making sure to intertwine them with Liam's instead, pulling a bit to get him to tighten his arms, leaning back against the older boy's body, not only because he was about to get frost bites.

"For not coming back inside, I…" Then he broke off, rocking Niall a bit, placing another kiss onto the top of his head and suddenly the younger boy knew why they were standing this way, why he was forced to watch the street instead of his boyfriend's face. Liam didn't want him to. "I love you."

"I… I love you too." Niall replied, somehow automatically, because this had been completely out of context, it got him even more scared if anything, he could't take this anymore, he needed to find this out now, there was something that had just gone terribly wrong and Liam was keeping it from him on pure purpose. "Who was on the phone, Liam?"

No answer, just a sigh, and that's when Niall had enough, Liam's arms were tight around him, but he still managed to break free of the boy's grip, turning around and threading their fingers together once more, again becoming witness of Liam trying his hardest to put up a somewhat normal expression, but if anything, he looked as if he might burst out into tears any second. "Niall…"

"What? What's wrong, Liam, tell me, I'm bloody worried about you, who was on the phone?!" Maybe somewhere deep inside Niall already knew it, but he didn't want to think about what might cause Liam to go from being so happy to completely broken , staring at their intertwined hands instead of the blonde boy's face.

"It… it was my dad." Of course, of course it had been his dad, Niall tried to prepare himself for the worst, squeezing Liam's fingers tightly, wanting to do so much more to comfort him but he felt so helpless, just staring, waiting for any kind of explanation, silently praying that it wasn't as bad as it looked like. It was even worse. "I… I have to go back home."

"What? When?" Niall's brain somehow blocked immediately, he didn't want to understand what he had just heard, somehow thinking that maybe it had been a mistake, but the look on Liam's face was begging to differ. 

"I have to… leave today. And go back home, I… I'm so sorry, Nialler." Finally, Liam lifted his head, his eyes were kinda shiny now as they met the younger boy's, letting go of Niall with one hand to cup his cheek instead, his cold palm causing shivers to rise all up Niall's arm as Liam leaned forward to press their foreheads together, letting a sigh escape. "I'm so sorry. I didn't… he got mad and… because I wasn't there last night and I had no choice but to tell him that I'm out of town and… Niall, please say something."

There was literally nothing on Niall's mind right now, it was just blank and empty, he wasn't even properly looking at Liam as the older boy leaned back again, a more than desperate look on his face as he brushed his thumb over Niall's cheekbone, bringing their intertwined hands up to kiss the back of Niall's. "I… today?"

"Yes… he told me he needs me for work and I… I don't know if that's true or if he's just mad, but he's gonna freak out if I stay and… and I'm scared of what he's gonna do, I… " Liam admitting that, that he was actually scared of his own dad kinda woke Niall up from his paralysis, he just looked the older boy straight in the eyes, feeling sadness and disappointment washing over him and tears building up in his eyes, about to spill over, but instead, he forced himself to stay calm. He couldn't let Liam see how much this bothered him, it wasn't the other boy's fault, he clearly was truly terrified, he hadn't wanted for this to happen, he couldn't need Niall's tears right now.

"Okay… I'll go with you." It just slipped out, but the fact that Liam's eyes went wide immediately as he was already shaking his head wasn't exactly calming. What the hell?

"No… no, Nialler, you don't have to do this for me, stay with your family and enjoy your time off, babe, you deserve it so much, I don't want you to hang around while I'm working the whole time and I'll probably have to be in my office the whole time and… please, babe, do me that favour and stay, I'd feel way too guilty for ruining your holidays, I… I know I just partly did anyways, and I'm so sorry, Ni, really, I promise we're gonna still go on a proper date, I swear, we will, I'm so sorry." Hell, Liam was so close to tears it was terrible to watch, he felt so bad for all of this that Niall actually forced himself to a little smile, yeah, he felt like fucking crap inside, but he could cover it up, if it was for Liam, Niall would do anything to make it somehow easier for him.

"It's okay, Li, it's not your fault, okay? You still gave me the best Christmas ever, it's okay, it's just a date, we can do that whenever, right? You gotta do what you have to do and we'll see each other in a few days anyways, won't we? It's okay, Li, really, don't apologise, I'll be fine." There was no fucking way Niall would be fine, but for some reason, he still kept that stupid smile up, getting onto his tiptoes then to peck the older boy's lips before pulling his hand free to hug him tightly around the waist, burying his face in his shoulder and choking his tears back. "I love you so much."

"I… I love you too, Nialler… thank you… for being so understanding, I'm gonna make this up to you, I promise, I love you." Liam repeated himself at the end, as if he wanted to make sure Niall really got the message, and he had, he knew Liam loved him just as much as the other way around, he could tell by the way he looked at him all the time, how genuine he always sounded whenever he told him how much he meant to him.

Yet still, even if Liam was hugging back as tightly as possible, placing a countless amount of kisses into Niall's hair and apologising over and over again, the younger boy was quite sure he hadn't felt so terrible ever since his last panic attack, like, maybe he was being childish, but… he had just been so bloody excited about spending so much time with Liam and going on a date with him and kissing him on New Year's, why did everything have to go so perfect just so it could hurt even worse now? And if Liam was so sorry, why was Niall doubting that he had told him the whole truth, like, usually he trusted the older boy blindly, but he had never felt so unsure about something that had come out of his boyfriend's mouth and that was the scariest part about all of this.


	13. Chapter 13

_Nialler 7:35 pm_

_can i come over & sleep at your place? i miss you so much :( xxx_

 

There was nothing in the world that hurt Liam more than getting these kinda messages from his boyfriend, he actually had to flip his phone around and press his eyes shut for a second as he leaned back in his chair, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, not knowing what to reply.

This had been going on for about two weeks, ever since Liam had gone back home, feeling so guilty every day that he wanted to hang himself. He loved Niall, more than anything in this world, and he wanted to see him every day and have him stay over night and be with him all the time, but he couldn't and he knew he was killing both of them with how the situation was like now, and to top it off, it wasn't even the worst part that they had barely seen each other since Christmas break. No, the worst thing was that Liam had been lying, straight into Niall's face.

It was true, his dad had in fact called him and ordered him back home, but the reason for that was a completely different than that he hadn't gone home for Christmas, hell, his dad hadn't even mentioned that with one word, the real reason was a lot more terrifying and serious than Liam could have ever told Niall. Or Harry or Louis, he couldn't let them know either.

Since his dad had almost lost it at the phone, Liam had been trying to make up for it now by working so much that he barely even got home or did anything else besides sitting in that damn chair in his office, just to please his dad, who was never pleased with him anyways, but Liam couldn't stop trying his hardest for some reason.

It had been three weeks since he had left Niall behind, one of the worst things he could've ever done to the younger boy, he'd never forget that disappointed look on his face, the fact that he had ruined Niall's present to him, that he had taken away what they had both been looking forward to so much. Hell, he was so in love with this boy, he had been before, but after going home with him and sleeping with him, Liam was sure what he felt was way stronger than what he had been thinking at first.

Yet still, they had only seen each other two times since Niall was back in town, two fucking times, and the amount of texts Liam had sent him to tell him that he was too busy wasn't even funny anymore, it was just so sad and it hurt him so much, but he needed to calm his dad down or otherwise he'd hurt Niall even more.

So because he had no other choice, Liam picked his phone up again, feeling a sharp pinch in his heart as he clicked on reply, wanting nothing more than to just text Niall something like, yeah sure, come over babe, like he would have before the break, but he couldn't. Liam had been lacking, had been pushing his responsibilities aside for too long and he had to pay for it now, big time. 

 

_To Nialler 7:44 pm_

_baby, i'm sorry, i'm still at work :( i promise we'll see each other soon, i miss you too & i love you a lot xx_

 

That was the best Liam could think of, he didn't know whether they'd really get to see each other soon, and it was so stupid actually, because they didn't even live very far apart, but Niall didn't just show up anymore like he had before, he respected Liam saying he was busy, even though the older boy couldn't even tell him why without giving away that he had been lying. So how much longer was Niall gonna take this on him without asking questions or getting mad? 

Liam had no idea and that was more terrifying than not knowing when this would stop, it was like his dad was doing this on pure purpose now, making Liam work extra hard, constantly calling him, asking how he was doing in college, as if he was controlling him. And to be honest, Liam had the feeling that that was exactly what he was doing.

Niall did text back, not even three minutes later, and the content had Liam's heart breaking, he didn't know what would've been worse, Niall getting mad and starting a fight, or staying calm and being understanding just like he always was. He deserved so much more than an asshole like Liam, it's just, Liam loved him too much to ever break up with him, even if it would've been the best for Niall, but he would never bring himself to do it and he also didn't want to, especially not after text messages like this one.

 

_Nialler 7:47 pm_

_it's alright, don't work too much, ok? i love you too :) xx_

 

Fucking see this?! Niall was too good for this world, too good for Liam, and though the older boy knew that in reality Niall was not even near smiling over this, he wanted to hit himself in the head for not trying harder, maybe he could make more time to spend with his boyfriend, maybe, if he just worked faster and more efficiently, but he had almost needed all day for this and just… shit. 

There was nothing Liam could do now to change the situation, this is what he had warned Niall from all along in the beginning, but they were in way WAY too deep now and all Liam could hope for was that his dad would calm down again, he had to at some point, right? The only question was when.

Not texting back anymore because they would've just been going back and forth, Liam sighed deeply to himself then before going back to work, trying so hard not to constantly think about the younger boy, but it was hard when he was consuming about 90% of Liam's every thought.

It was two hours later when Liam finally drove back home, of course he had been the last one, and he'd probably be the first one tomorrow though it was a saturday and though he should've been studying, but it didn't really matter whether he messed his exam up as well now since his dad already hated him anyways. Well, he had hated him all along probably, he just showed it very openly all of a sudden.

Not seeing Niall caused Liam to go a bit mad, like mentally, he constantly imagined that he'd go and see him soon, or that he was lying next to him bed, that he could kiss him goodnight instead of sending him a text. Those were the only things that kept Liam going really, like, maybe he needed to stop being so melodramatic, other couples didn't see each other for months, it's just… god, Liam missed the boy's face so much, it almost hurt him physically.

Fumbling with his keys once he was finally at his front door, of course having had to walk because the elevator had constantly been blocked, Liam almost dropped them because of how tired he was, like, his sight was almost getting blurry and he had to rub his eyes every few seconds, all Liam wanted to do was fall into his bed and sleep for a month. Preferably with Niall curled up next to him, it seemed like ages since they had fallen asleep together, it had only been about 2 weeks though, after Niall had gotten back from home. Too long.

First of all, Liam didn't notice anything as he entered his apartment, locking the door behind himself and slipping his shoes off, not thinking about why the hell the lights were turned on, he was too caught up in thoughts and half asleep entering his living room. Maybe that's why he almost jumped into the wall then. "Hey."

"Shit, you almost killed me." It was Harry, casually sitting on Liam's couch, with his feet propped up on the coffee table, taking them down now as the other boy came closer, rubbing his temples a bit in hopes his headache would go away. Shit, he couldn't need anyone over right now, why the hell was Harry here? They hadn't really talked lately, sure, but… there had been a good reason for that. "Um… how long have you been here?"

"Like an hour or so… " Harry shrugged, as if this was the most normal thing to ever happen, but he eyed Liam a bit too intensely, clearing his throat as he sat up a bit more straight. "You've been working? Until now?"

"Yeah, I… you know my dad…" Liam tried to shrug it off, he was still bloody confused, but he was also tired and to be quite honest, he would soon fall asleep anyways, whether Harry was here or not. "Did anything happen?"

"What? No, I'm just here because… look, Liam, I… I wanted to talk to you." For some reason, he sounded a bit unsure, not very much like Harry usually was, but Liam barely payed attention, he just let himself drop onto the other end of the couch, mentally already planning out his day tomorrow, he really needed to get a lot done, if he tried hard, maybe he could see Niall on sunday.

"About what?" Absently picking a the skin next to his thumb, Liam wasn't looking at his best friend, also not really expecting this to be serious or so, he just kinda assumed Harry had come over because they hadn't seen each other in forever, he did that sometimes, it didn't mean anything.

"About Niall." Or maybe it did.

Immediately, Liam's head flew up to stare over at Harry, his heart bumping a bit faster now, because well, he had really not expected this in any way, sure, Harry was with Louis all the time and therefore probably knew what was going on, but… why would he care? "Um… what about him?"

"Look, Li, I… I'm not here to like, hold a speech and judge you or whatever, I just… what the fuck is going on?" Okay, maybe that was a good question, it had Liam sighing deeply, of course he hadn't told Harry the truth either, he had told him the same story as Niall and he didn't plan on changing that now, he couldn't, it'd just make him feel even worse for lying.

So instead, he decided to play a little dumb. "What do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Liam, and you also know that I'm at Louis' dorm all the time and that I constantly see Niall, right? Probably more than you do lately." Okay, that was a punch in the guts, Liam blinked quickly before looking away, Harry had sounded a bit harsher now, he definitely WAS here to hold a speech. "So what's going on? Why do you suddenly have so much work to do that you can't see your boyfriend anymore? You know how much he's beating himself up because of this, Liam? I've seen it with my own eyes, I mean, I get it, that you had to go home early, but… it really got to him, but this is dragging him down even worse, and I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad, but because I think you should know. Louis is really worried about him too, he… he's trying really hard to cover it up, but even I can see how sad he is all the time and I don't know him half as good as you do."

Shit. There were tears building up in Liam's eyes at hearing this, like… of course he knew all of that, hell, he wasn't exactly happy about any of this either, but knowing that Niall was sad and that it was his fault was just… it was killing him. "Does Niall know that you're here?"

"No, of course not. Louis was supposed to spend the night at my place, but he called me before and told me that he'd rather stay at his dorm, because well… Niall's not been feeling well and… he asked me to come as well but I thought I'd rather stop by at your place and finally ask you what it is that you're hiding because this is getting out of control. I thought we already had that talk months ago, Liam." At the part where Harry had said that Niall wasn't feeling well, Liam had stopped listening, he felt so bad now, because he knew exactly that that had been caused by his text message before, it's just… what had he been supposed to do?!

"'m not hiding anything, Haz… I just have to work a lot, you know that, you know I wouldn't stay away from Niall on purpose, I love him, it's just… I'm so busy, I barely get a minute to myself and my dad is gonna freak the hell out and-"

Harry didn't even let him finish, as careful as he might have been a few minutes before, anger suddenly started coming through, causing Liam to just blankly stare at him in shock at his little outbreak. "Then let him freak out, Liam, god damn it, I was so fucking happy that you finally let a bit loose ever since you had Niall and now… now you're fucking ruining it because of your fucking dad. You know that Niall's been crying? Yeah, he has, not only during Christmas break but also the last few days. You cannot do this to him, Liam, do you even know how much he loves you?! He told me about the date, you know, and that you promised you'd make up for it and now he barely even gets to see you, he's so sensitive, why are you doing this to him?!"

What the hell?! Who was HARRY to tell him that?? If he wanted to have a fight, then fine, he could have that, because Liam was about to burst with anger all of a sudden, he had been bloody trying his best, how would his best friend know what the hell was going on in his life?! "Oh, so YOU have to tell me how I have to treat my own boyfriend, _you_? You have no idea what the hell is even going on Harry, YES, I know that Niall's been crying, okay? He's not the only one whose feeling like shit, I am too, do you think I wouldn't make the time to see him if I could? Why do you come here to judge me if you have no idea what you are even talking about, you're my best friend, Harry! Or at least I thought you were."

"What's that supposed to mean, Liam? So we're not friends anymore? Because I'm telling you the truth about your shitty behaviour?!" Great, they were full on fighting now, they hadn't in forever and Liam couldn't believe that this was happening, because of a topic like this, but he was way too bloody angry and exhausted as to try and have a normal conversation right now.

"Shitty behaviour?! You're one to talk, Harry, you don't have to do anything at all, you can see Louis whenever you want to because work ends at the same time every day for you and then you're off to do whatever the hell you please!" It was wrong, to judge Harry for that, but Liam couldn't hold back, he actually had to stand up because he was so worked up, trying to unclench his fists and not walk up and down like a madman.

"What the fuck, Liam?! That's not my fault, you get a lot more money than I do as well, you could just grow some balls for once and tell your dad that you don't wanna do all of this anymore, he's not controlling your life, you know, you don't live to please your parents, Niall is more important than them and if we don't agree on this then I'm really doubting whether you love him as much as you say." Alright, that was enough, Liam couldn't believe that he had just heard that, he needed a few seconds to progress it, just staring at Harry with his jaw having dropped while the other boy simply shrugged, leaning against the back of the couch and crossing his arms. He had really meant that, he was accusing Liam of not loving Niall, was that really how Liam made it seem?! That his boyfriend wasn't the most important thing to him in the whole world?

"Shut the fuck up, alright? If you think that I'm just playing with him then piss off right now, Haz, because you don't know me at all then and I haven't just been working for 12 hours without a break just to come home to you telling me all this crap when I just saved your fucking ass and when all I'm doing is limiting the damage and making sure Niall isn't gonna blame himself for any of this. You wanna know what I'm hiding from you, Harry? Good, you can fucking hear it now and then get the fuck out of my apartment." What did it matter now anyways, if Liam told him the whole truth or not, he didn't care anymore, if it made Harry shut up and stopped him from making him feel like absolute crap, he'd gladly let him in on the secret. Also, Liam was suddenly desperate on hurting Harry just the same way, make him feel just as guilty even if that wasn't quite like himself, but he had just been staring at a computer screen for a whole day, he was bloody tired and he missed Niall so much that his heart hurt with every bump.

"Let's hear it then, I fucking knew that you were lying, Liam, Niall's got every right to doubt your loyalty, you know, he's just too much into you as to admit it to himself. And how exactly did you _save my ass_?" God, Harry could be such a pain in the ass, Liam was about to throw something at him but he kept it together, only because he knew that that cocky expression on his friend's face would soon be replaced by something else in less than a minute. There was a reason Liam had kept this to himself.

Not starting immediately, Liam had to shake his head a few times, walking up and down now to get rid of the thought of Niall sitting in his bed crying because he thought Liam didn't love him anymore. Niall wasn't here right now after all, Liam would make it up to him, but he had to deal with Harry first, who was already starting to clear his throat, getting even more on Liam's nerves than he had thought would have even been possible.

"So? Are you gonna start anytime soon or can I leave and-"

"He wanted to fire you. Both of us. Someone at work talked, because Niall's been visiting me a few times and apparently they've seen us one time when we were at the store and… I haven't been doing well lately, because I spent so much time with him and my dad called to yell at me, how much of a disappointment I am, how he's gonna throw us both out if I don't immediately come back home and work extra to make up for what I haven't finished and… he's been calling me all the time the past few days, he's sending me extra work because he's mad and… and I don't know how much he knows about Niall, but he's definitely trying to pack my free time with work now and… I didn't wanna tell you and Niall, because I didn't wanna make you feel bad, so I lied to both of you and I'm sorry, but… it seemed like the best solution for all of us. I can make this alright again, if I just keep on working hard my dad will calm down again and it can be like before, I mean… I can't just push my responsibilities away again, but I'll figure this out somehow, it's just now, I really am busy and I can't help it, I don't want you to get fired, or get fired myself and … they're my parents after all, I… I don't wanna make them feel like I'm disappointing them." But he was and he already had, Liam had to sigh deeply after that, his anger was somehow gone now after saying it out loud, he regretted having told Harry, but… he hadn't had a choice, had he?

There was silence after that, Liam didn't care to check his best friend's face, he was just so tired and exhausted and he wanted to text Niall, tell him he should come over so he could cuddle those tears away and make sure the younger boy knew just exactly how much he loved him. But he couldn't do it and it was killing him. What if Niall really was doubting him now? He'd have every reason to. "Liam…"

Harry's voice was quiet, completely different from before, he sounded guilty now, apologising, of course he did, Liam had kept this from his best friend for a reason and though he had just wanted to rip his head off a few minutes prior, he still didn't want Harry to blame himself. "It's okay, I… I didn't want you to feel guilty, and you have no reason to, it's not your fault that he's threatening me with throwing you out, I'd be doing this regardless of you, I mean, maybe it's a bit of a motivation, but… it has nothing to do with you. I'm sorry I lied."

"Li, I'm… I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have said those things, I was just… I was angry and I felt bad for Niall and I had no idea… Liam, shit. He can't do that, he can't… you don't have to worry about me, okay? You don't have to do this so I can keep the job, I can look for something else, I can-"

"No, stop, okay?" Sighing, Liam finally pushed away from the window he had been staring out of the whole time, turning around now to see Harry up on his feet as well, standing a bit further away but definitely having gotten closer, he seemed very unsure of what to do, making the older boy feel even worse. Why did bad things have to keep happening? "It's not because of you, Harry, sure, I don't want you to lose the job, but I'm doing this for myself too, I… I can make it alright again, I've done it for a few years already.."

"A few years where you haven't known Niall though… " That was true, but Liam pretended not to be listening, he had once again been lying, because if it weren't for Harry, he wasn't sure if he wouldn't consider quitting, call his dad and tell him that he didn't care anymore, that they could stop talking at all and never see each other again. But then again, that wouldn't be very much like Liam, he wasn't someone to just quit and throw it all away, and besides… this was his family. "You have to tell him, Liam, the truth, I mean, he has a right to know as well."

"No, I can't tell him, I can tell you because I know you can take it, but not Niall. He'd think it's all his fault, that he was the one who distracted me when that's not true at all, but he's still gonna think it was him, it's better this way, I'm gonna work this out again and then I'll talk to him, it'll be fine." At least that's what Liam had been telling himself to maybe limit the guilt he was feeling, so he could sleep at night. Sometimes at least.

"Liam, listen to me, okay?" Taking a deep breath, Harry suddenly came over, carefully, as if Liam might jump at him any second or something, when in reality he could've passed out right on the floor from being so tired. "You can't keep on doing this, how many times did you have problems with your dad now since you started working for? Too fucking many. I know your parents, Li, I know they expect way too much of you and always have, you have to see that too, it's not normal what they make you do, and you're 22, this is your own life and not theirs, I know I've told you that forty billion times, but I'll keep on telling you, I don't care, Liam, you gotta change something, because this is not only affecting you anymore, you also have to think about Niall now. And fuck what your parents think about you dating a guy, just fuck whatever they're doing, I know this sounds harsh but you don't need them, you got a lot of people who love you, just… think about it, okay? If he throws me out then fine, it doesn't matter, think about yourself, Liam, and about Niall, not about me." 

Shit, see, this was why Harry was Liam's best friends, they sometimes had their fights and disagreements, but if it came down to it, Liam knew he could count on the other boy. Not that he had just changed his mind magically, but he still appreciated the fact that Harry cared about him. "I don't even know whether they really know about me and Niall… I guess my dad would freak out even if Niall was a girl, it's just the fact that I could get distracted and actually have a life away from work and studying probably, I don't know… I just… I gotta think this through and… and talk to Niall, I know he's feeling like shit and so am I, just… I don't know, why do things always have to be so bloody hard?"

"I know it sucks, Li, but I'm here for you, okay? You can always come talk to me if you need to, and also to Niall, I'm sure he'd understand if you explain it to him. But just think about all of this, alright? And don't worry about me or anyone else, just think about what _you_ want for once." And then, as if Liam wasn't feeling a bit emotional already, Harry smiled weakly before simply coming over, wrapping his arms around the older boy, not too tightly, but causing Liam to hug back automatically, immediately feeling a pinch because of how badly he wanted this to be Niall instead.

"Thanks, Haz… I really appreciate it, you know… I just… gotta … try to figure this out, by myself, for a bit… and talk to Niall maybe, I… I don't know yet… are you still driving over later?" His thoughts weren't making any sense right now, he had no idea what to even say, hell, he was about to get Harry into his own car and drive over to Louis' and Niall's dorm just so he could see his boy. But wouldn't that have just made everything even worse? He'd never manage to leave again and then he'd mess up work once more and ugh… Liam couldn't see Niall tonight, he had to get it into his damn head.

"Yeah, probably… I'm gonna call Louis first though, I think it makes Niall sad if he sees me and Louis together, I… sorry, I shouldn't have said that, Li." Yeah, he really shouldn't have, but Liam suppressed a simple sigh, closing his eyes for a second, still holding onto his best friend. 

"It's okay, just… maybe don't tell him that you were here, but… can you tell him I love him? And make sure he believes it?" Because right now and after what Harry had been saying, though he had just been angry back then, his words were still stuck on Liam's mind and it worried him, more than he'd ever dare to admit to himself.

"Yeah, I'm gonna tell him, Li, don't worry, I'm sure he knows, just… maybe you should try and see him soon, he's missing you and I know you're missing him too." Well, that wasn't very hard to guess, but Liam didn't say anything, he just tried to find comfort in that hug, tried to tell himself that things were going to be fine, that Harry would tell Niall and that hopefully the younger boy wouldn't be too sad about it anymore and that they'd see each other soon. 

After Harry had left, Liam went straight to bed, he still felt like crap of course, like, he was kinda relieved that he had told his best friend the truth, but the situation was still the same and he couldn't help thinking about the last night he had spent at Niall's parents' house whenever he closed his eyes, his chest hurting from how bad he felt. Like, that had seriously been the best night of his life and he hadn't been prepared for everything to go so terribly wrong the next morning, he just wished they could've made up for all of this, turned back time, gone on that date that Niall had planned, have that New Year's kiss, but instead Liam was here fighting back tears and reaching for his phone as he couldn't find any rest after a whole hour.

He couldn't go to sleep like this, he would've called Niall, but it was already 1 am now, so a text message would have to do, Liam read through it 5 times before pressing send, knowing that it wasn't exactly making up for any of the mistakes he had made during the past 3 weeks, but it was better than nothing.

 

_To Nialler 1:25 am_

_niall, i wanted to tell you again that i'm sorry, for having so little time for you lately, but i promise i'm gonna try and get as much work done as quickly as possible so we can see each other soon. i miss you so much, every day, and i love you more than anything in this world, don't ever forget that. sleep tight babe, i wish you were here right now to fall asleep with me ♥_

 

—————

 

Nothing changed for a week, maybe even a few days longer, Liam wasn't exactly counting these days, they didn't differ very much from one another, it was just getting up way too early to go to work, then coming home way too late and either studying or falling right back asleep. One time, Liam had even fallen asleep on the couch, fully dressed, until 5 o clock in the morning, something that had never happened to him before.

He saw Niall only once during that time, but the younger boy had jumped at him as if everything was just fine, wearing his usual smile, maybe being a bit more clingy than usually, not letting go of Liam for the whole time they had spent together, kissing him so hard and so often that their lips had started to hurt.

Once Liam had been alone again though, worries had started to bubble up in him, it was lways like this, he needed Niall to relax and come down, he was like a pain killer, making him forget everything that was wrong so he could simply focus on the younger boy and nothing else. So when he wasn't there, Liam just felt like complete crap.

Of course he considered Harry's words, more than just a few times, but deep down he knew that he wasn't brave enough to just walk up to his dad and tell him whatever was on his mind, also, he was very well aware that his best friend needed the money, so Liam just kept going, somehow hopeful that things would go back to normal soon, or at least pretending that they would, because as it was now, this was going to kill him, and Niall as well.

On a tuesday night, Liam once again was the last one left at the office, leaving him to turn the lights off and lock everything up. It was quite creepy, to be in such a huge building all by yourself, with no sound coming from anywhere except for maybe a clock or so, Liam couldn't say that he wasn't happy about being outside in the cold air instead, even if he almost froze to death on the way to his car. For some reason though, he kinda liked this, as sad as it sounded, it got his mind off things a little bit, to shiver instead of worrying about how in god's name he was going to fall asleep tonight.

There were barely any cars left in the parking lot, Liam pulled his coat a bit tighter around his body, fumbling in his pockets in search for his car keys, almost slipping on the icy sidewalk a few times, not seeing very much in complete darkness, even if it was 'only' about 8 pm.

As he came closer to his car, Liam almost dropped his phone as he saw some shadow moving next to it, coming closer, it looked a lot like a person leaning against the passenger door, immediately causing Liam to walk a bit slower, just in case, this was quite weird, and his heart started bumping a bit faster as he tried to remember how to correctly punch someone. He couldn't just be a baby and go for a walk now in hopes that the person would be gone once he came back, he was a grown up, he'd just go there and tell that person to leave.

Still, despite his attempts to silently build his own confidence, Liam felt very confused and a bit scared as he was only a few meters away, already about to clear his throat, thinking about just unlocking the car, but then suddenly the wind blew a bit stronger, causing the hoodie to fall off of the guy's head leaning against his car, revealing his blonde hair.

"Wha… Niall?!" It really was him, hands buried in the depths of his pockets, cheeks and nose red as far as Liam could tell in the darkness, not exactly the happiest expression on his face, something the older boy didn't realise immediately, he was first of all just shocked, freezing on the spot as Niall looked at him, not even thinking about going to wrap him up in his arms immediately, like.. this was more than strange. Had Harry given him that tip? Where they both just going to wait for Liam everywhere now because it was the only possibility to see him? Hopefully not because just the thought got him feeling guilty again. "Shit, what are you doing here, babe? It's freezing cold out here, how long have you been waiting, why didn't you text me, I…"

There was a shrug, then Niall pushed away from Liam's car, sniffing quietly because of his nose always getting runny in the cold, keeping the distance between them though, voice a bit shaky and thin as he spoke up, kicking at a stone lying by his feet. "I don't know… didn't want to disturb you, I guess…do you have off now?"

"Yeah, I… yeah, I do. Niall, you're never disturbing me." Liam knew that that wasn't the whole truth, because it did distract him a lot to get texts from Niall, but that wasn't the younger boy's fault of course.

Niall didn't answer, he just shrugged again, only now making Liam realise that something was definitely off, he had no idea why his boyfriend had just been waiting for him for god knows how long and it was making him feel too bad as to really think about it, like… Niall had to take THIS on him just to see Liam, he was such a fucking asshole.

"Hey, come here, it's so cold out here, are you okay, baby?" Not being able to stand the distance anymore, Liam quickly walked over to wrap his arms around the younger boy, pressing a kissing to the top of his head, feeling his hug being returned only weakly. Alright, there was something wrong, well, besides the obvious probably, Liam tightened his arms shortly before pulling back, cupping Niall's cold cheeks with his palms, studying his face for a second. "Ni, what's the matter, why did you wait here for me? Don't get me wrong, I love seeing you, just… it's freezing out here and you didn't say anything." 

"I… I just thought, um… I wanted to… talk to you… in person." Oh, well, that didn't sound very calming, especially not because Niall was biting his bottom lip now, looking anywhere but into the older boy's eyes.

"We can talk if you want to, just… let's get in the car, okay? You've been out here for too long, I don't want you to get sick, Ni." Liam was trying really hard to keep his voice normal, to not let his worry come through, gently rubbing his thumb over Niall's cheekbone before leaning in a bit, relieved that at least he didn't get rejected as he pressed their lips together, just gently, but it felt even more intense because of not having done this for like 5 days now. "I love you."

It had just slipped out of Liam, he was still holding onto Niall, not really ready to let go, kinda scared about what they were gonna talk about in a bit, anxiously waiting for an answer, almost thinking for a second that the blonde boy would just ignore him, but his voice was just very quiet, and he didn't sound very excited either. "Love you…"

And that was all Liam got, it did sting a bit, but he let go then after kissing Niall's forehead once, he couldn't exactly expect to be greeted with excitement after not properly having had time for his boyfriend for weeks now, it's just, usually when they saw each other, Niall was still happy and acting like himself, but today, he seemed to be completely down for some reason. 

Of course Liam had an idea about what they'd be talking about and he'd be lying if he said it didn't cause his stomach to turn into knots, he wouldn't know what to tell Niall, he couldn't tell him the truth and there was nothing he could change about the situation they were in, like… it's not as if he enjoyed any of this, as if he didn't get butterflies just from having Niall sitting next to him in the car now. Shit, this was not something he had been prepared to happen.

"I can drive us home, if you want to, we can talk there or-"

"No, Li, just… can we talk here, now? I… I just… I've been thinking about this all day and… " He interrupted himself then, playing with the sleeves of his jacket while Liam turned up the heating in the car, making sure to flick the light on too, mostly so he could throw a better look over into his boyfriend's face. Not a very happy sight, Liam was getting really scared now for some reason, and he felt really bad too, what the hell was he doing to this boy?

"Yeah, of course, Ni, we can talk about anything, you know that, what's the matter, babe? What's wrong?" Wanting to reach out, to touch his face or hold his hand, whatever, Liam hesitated after already lifting his hand, suddenly not sure anymore whether Niall would want him to, he was staring into his own lap the whole time, obviously fighting with his words while Liam was almost dying next to him, his guilt eating him alive.

"I… I know that you always have a lot of work to do, Li, um… and I… I'm not mad that you do, you know, and this is not about, uh… about that you had to go home early, yeah it sucked, but… it wasn't your fault, none of this is, it's just I… it's making me feel like crap and I know you said it would only be like this for a while, but… I just… I messed up this exam I had and I can't stop thinking about you and it's all getting to me and I had a panic attack two days ago and I… I don't… I don't think I can do this anymore." As he was finished, Liam's jaw had dropped and there were tears building up in his eyes, the last sentence sounding so final, as if there was no chance anymore that they could work this out, shit, he hadn't expected this, hadn't expected to see Niall so completely broken and hell, why had no one called him because of that panic attack, why had he once again not been there?!

"Niall, babe, I… I had no idea, god, I'm so sorry, Ni, I didn't… I knew it got to you, it does to me too, but… why didn't you tell Louis to call me? I would've come right over, babe, I told you, I'm always there for you, I-"

"You weren't there the past 3 weeks though…" And with that half whispered sentence, Niall shut Liam up immediately, a tear spilling over that he forgot to wipe away, because yeah, the younger boy was completely right, Liam hand't been there and it was his fault alone that Niall had failed this exam and to be honest, that wasn't even near the worst part, he had known that Niall felt bad, but hearing it out of is own mouth hurt twice as bad. 

"Nialler… I'm so sorry, I… I'm gonna try harder, I promise, you can come over to my place now and stay over night and we'll find a solution, I know I've been behaving like a douche but I can change it, we can work it out, I promise." No idea how, Liam was just so desperate now, he didn't know what to say, he wanted to touch Niall, wanted to hug him close, just get one single smile from him, but instead the younger boy didn't move an inch, just shaking his head slowly.

"Liam, that's not… it's not gonna work like this, if it were that easy then why didn't you have more time in the first place? I know it's not and it's not your fault either, it's just… it's killing me and… and I don't wanna wake up every day hoping that I might get to see you and then I don't and… maybe this is overdramatic, but… but I'm scared it's always gonna stay like this, like you warned me in the very beginning and I … I don't know if I can handle this, I don't know if… if we can make this work." Wait…

"You… you're breaking up with me?!" NOW?! Because of this? After such a long time, after everything that had happened, Niall was deciding that he couldn't take it anymore, after Liam had tried so hard in the beginning to tell him exactly THAT and now that he had thought Niall really and truly did not care about any of that the younger boy couldn't handle it anymore?! 

Finally, Niall lifted his head, but it wasn't for a good reason, there was the most pained expression on his face that Liam had ever seen, maybe not even his own was worse and he was close to breaking out into tears. He couldn't do this without Niall, he couldn't just lose him now, not like this, not here, no way. "I just… Liam, I know how ambitious you are and… I don't know if we fit together that well after all, I… I don't wanna keep you from doing things you wanna do."

"… are you being serious right now?!" This could not be happening, impossible, Liam couldn't even properly progress this, how could Niall say these kinda things? That they didn't fit together?! How could he think Liam cared more about his job than he cared about this boy?! "I can quit my job, Niall, I can do anything you want me to, just please don't do this, I can change everything, I swear to god, I can-"

"Liam, stop, please, I…" Taking a deep, shaky breath, Niall suddenly reached out, lightly wrapping his hand around Liam's all of a sudden, squeezing a bit, but the older boy hardly felt it, his tears were awfully close to spilling over now, this just couldn't be happening. "I just… I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't… I don't know if it's worth it."

With that, he absolutely killed Liam, never EVER would he have expected anything close to this out of Niall's mouth, yeah, he had always kinda been surprised that the younger boy had liked him back, but… but over Christmas break, he had really been 100% sure that what they felt for each other was completely mutual, that Niall loved him just as much, that they'd stick together, but now he had told him that…that Liam wasn't worth trying to fix this? "You… you don't think what we have is worth it? You just wanna end it like this? You're not even giving me a second chance?!"

"Liam, I'm not doing this because I wanna hurt you, I… I gotta think about myself too, it… this is killing me, okay? And I… I don't know what to say Liam, I… please don't make this so hard for me…" Niall almost sounded as if he was beginning now, he was still holding Liam's hand even if the older boy's had gone limp in his grip, he felt a tear spilling over now, not bothering to wipe it, just staring blankly at the younger boy, his heart breaking into a million pieces, like, he could physically feel the burning pain. "Don't cry, please, Li…"

"Well, how can I not…shit… I didn't mean for this to happen, Niall, I'm so sorry, do you even know how much I love you? How much you fucking mean to me? I would do anything for you, anything, I… f-fuck…" There were more tears rolling down Liam's face now, he couldn't hold them back anymore, in fact, he had to let go of Niall's hand to try and wipe them away, feeling his body shake a bit with desperation, why was Niall fucking doing this?! Did he really not want to be with Liam anymore, because of this?! "I l-love y-you…p-please don't d-do t-this…"

"Liam…" There was no 'I love you too' coming back, which probably was the very worst part of all of this, Liam didn't even care how embarrassing it was that he was almost sobbing now, his sight blurry because the tears just kept coming now, unforgivingly dripping down his face and though Niall's voice had sounded more than hurt, it wasn't helping Liam in any way. He couldn't do this without Niall, he wasn't physically able to, this boy was his reason for everything even though they hadn't even been dating for that long, Liam couldn't even imagine how he would carry on without Niall, like, his life had been so bloody boring and pointless before, it was this blonde boy who had really shown him that there was more than work and studying. And now he had messed it up, because of exactly these two things. "Li, if you… if you really love me, you're gonna let me do this and you're not gonna try to change my mind."

No idea whether Niall was crying as well, it sounded quite like it, but Liam never really got a clear look at him, he was too shocked by this answer, though he knew that it would be the right thing to do, if this is what Niall wanted, who was Liam to try and talk him out of it? He would've fought for this boy, always, but what if he didn't wanted anybody to fight for him? "I d-do l-love y-you… I j-just… w-we've n-never e-even been o-on a-a d-date…"

"I know…" Maybe that was yet another reason why Niall was breaking up with him, because Liam really was a shitty boyfriend, it just got him crying even harder, to think about how much more this boy deserved and how he had always known that, but now that Niall suddenly saw it too, Liam didn't want to let him go, it's just… he hadn't fucking been prepared for this, not in a million years.

"I'm s-sorry…" That was all he had left to say, Liam had to actually bury his face in his hands now, body shaking because of how fucking done he was with everything, it was all his own fault, he had brought this upon himself, of course Niall wanted to end it, it was just like Liam had been predicting all along. No one could stand to be with him, maybe he just wasn't supposed to be happy, maybe he was just supposed to keep himself busy with work for the rest of his life.

"It's not your fault, Li, it's not… I… I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to make you cry, I just… I gotta do what I think is right, for the both of us, okay? Please try and understand Liam, I never wanted to hurt you, I… come here." Niall wrapping his arms around Liam did exactly nothing, he refused to lift his head or hug back, he wasn't able to, he was just shaking and crying, barely aware of the kiss against the side of his head or the hand rubbing his shoulder after Niall had pulled back again, his voice sounding tight. "Do you want me to go?"

"N-No… " If he went now then Liam wasn't sure if he'd ever see the boy again, hell, he could've told him so much to try and change his mind, hold a fucking speech on how much he loved him, but it seemed so pointless to even begin opening his mouth, Niall wouldn't have been fucking waiting in the freezing cold by his car if he hadn't been sure about this. And shit, how long had he even had this planned?! 

"Liam… I'm so sorry, please forgive me…" There was nothing there to forgive really, Liam couldn't exactly be angry at Niall for doing what was the best for him, so he didn't answer, he just kept on crying, barely noticing the silence between them, only interrupted by Liam's sobs before the younger boy leaned over to hug him again, resting his cheek on top of Liam's head and just holding him, not speaking, apparently not minding how bloody weird this whole situation was.

It felt as if Liam's life ended right there, in complete darkness, in his bloody car, even if Niall was still there as well, probably too scared to leave him alone when he was being so hysterical, it already felt as if there were miles between them, from one second to the other, everything they had had had just gone to waste, within the blink of an eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry about the ending, i know this is maybe not a good start but happy new year everybody, thank you all for reading my fanfics or maybe only this chapter idk i appreciate it anyways :) ♥


	14. Chapter 14

Niall didn't know how in god's name he had managed to hold back his tears for so long, even while Liam had been crying, hell, he had been a fucking mess just a few minutes ago and Niall had been so shocked to see him like this, he would've never ever imagined that the older boy could be so broken over this, he really loved Niall, it had been so clear to see and yet the younger boy had just hurt him like this. Hurt both of them, because breaking up with Liam had been the very last thing he had ever wanted to do.

Tears were already streaming down Niall's face as he rushed up the stairs to his dorm room, there was a sob about to escape that he didn't want to let out in the hallway, even if he was well aware that Louis was home, he didn't fucking care anymore, after having cried so often in front of his best friend, did it really matter whether he did it again now?

Liam had insisted on driving Niall home, he had needed half an hour to stop crying, but he hadn't tried to change the younger boy's mind again, he had just told him how much he loved him over and over again, how he would give his life for Niall, how the younger boy was always free to change his mind and come back to him, even though Niall had forced himself to stay quiet during the whole ride, staring into his lap, because if he would've allowed himself to speak, it would've just been to tell Liam that he had changed his mind. But he couldn't.

Then as they had stopped in front of the building, Liam had started crying all over again, it had been so fucking horrible, Niall had basically jumped out of the car because he had felt his own tears welling up, he hadn't even kissed Liam goodbye, hadn't said anything at all, hell, he didn't even know whether Liam had driven home or not. This had been, hands down, the hardest thing Niall had ever done, also the thing he regretted the very most, he had been waiting an hour in the cold just so that his heart could almost jump out of his chest and the butterflies in his tummy had almost killed him as soon as he had seen Liam. And then he had simply broken both of their hearts, Niall was a terrible human being, and a hypocrite, he had been missing Liam for weeks on end and he had just made sure that he'd have to miss him for the rest of his life now. 

And all because of what Harry had told him two days ago, probably because he had panicked and thought Niall wouldn't calm down from his panic attack if he didn't tell him that Liam had been lying to both of them. Though lying was probably the wrong term, because of course, the older boy had just wanted the best for them, like always, he had put himself second, and Niall hadn't been able to deal with the fact anymore that he was ruining Liam's life, that he was just a constant distraction, that because of his stupid ideas, the other boy had so many problems with his family and his job and even Harry had been about to get fired, all because of Niall. Liam was way better off without him, just like he had always predicted before they had started dating.

"Niall, where the hell have you… what happened?!" Of course Louis had heard Niall smashing the door shut, he wasn't deaf after all, immediately coming out of his room, first of all looking quite angry before his expression quickly changed, trying to grab a hold of the blonde boy's arm. "Why are you crying? Niall?" 

"L-Let me g-go!" This was not the right moment for Louis to try and baby Niall, he quickly broke free of the grip around his wrist, not bothering to even try and close the door to his room because his best best friend would be coming in anyways. So instead, Niall tried to hold back a sob as he straight went to lie in his messed up bed, on his stomach, face pressed tightly into his pillow, hoping to suffocate himself with it to be honest. 

"Nialler… what the hell is going on? Did you… did you just go to see Liam?" The mattress gave in a little as Louis sat down next to Niall, voice soft as he rubbed his palm across the blonde boy's back, not getting any reaction out of him except for trembling. This was it, the end of Niall's life, he wasn't gonna survive without Liam, it felt as if someone had ripped his heart of his chest and stomped onto it a few billion times. "Ni, talk to me or I'm gonna call Liam and ask him myself."

"I-I… " Niall started before yet another sob caused his whole body to shake, he wasn't even sure if his words made any sense, they were numbed by the pillow, sounding as if he was about to choke on them any second. "I-I b-broke u-up w-with h-him…n-now l-leave m-me a-alone…"

"You broke up with him?! Why would you do that?" It sounded quite shocked, which was one reason why Niall hadn't told him beforehand what he had planned on doing, Louis would've just been trying to talk him out of it. "Niall, what the hell? Didn't you hear what Harry told us? His dad is gonna kick both him and Liam out if he doesn't-"

"Y-Yeah, b-because o-of m-me… b-because I-I've b-been d-distracting h-him…a-and… a-and b-because h-his d-dad k-knows w-we're…w-we w-were d-dating…." Yes, WERE, that alone had Niall's body shaking violently again, he didn't need Louis to repeat the whole thing, it was bad enough as it was, hell, how could anyone not see how much Niall had ruined?! How selfish had he been for wanting Liam all to himself, for ever making him stop working, asking him to come home with him for Christmas if he knew exactly that the older boy actually didn't have any time for this? 

"Why because of you, Niall? Harry even said that Liam doesn't know whether his dad knows or not, this has nothing to do with you. None of this is your fault, what are you talking about? Did you tell Liam that? And he just accepted the fact that you took the blame on yourself?" Hell, if Louis wouldn't stop making Niall talk the younger boy would suffocate for sure, he was almost forced to turn his head now because of lack of air, deciding against it though, what was the point in breathing anyways?

"N-No… I-I l-lied…. I-I s-said t-that….t-that I-I d-didn't w-wanna d-do i-it a-anymore… t-that it's n-not w-worth it… " Saying it out loud made Niall feel even shittier, but what else had he been supposed to say? Liam would've never accepted anything else, he would've talked Niall out of it, told him 100 times that he didn't have to worry, that none of it was his fault in any way, just because he loved Niall so much. There had been no other way than to hurt him and make up lies, otherwise Liam would've never stopped trying to change Niall's mind, he almost had, with those damn tears, but the younger boy had stayed strong. Which didn't mean that he felt good about it though. "L-Louis…"

"What, Ni?" His hand had stilled now, Louis sounded as if he was deep in thoughts, probably thinking about how fucking dumb Niall was, and he was completely right with that.

"L-Liam t-thinks… t-that I-I d-don't l-love h-him a-anymore…" That had been the very worst part, besides acting like a cold hearted monster, not saying 'I love you' back and throwing himself onto Liam to kiss him breathless, if it hadn't been for Liam's best, Niall wouldn't have been able to pull through with this for just five seconds. But he had, and it was too late to take it back now.

"Ni… why did you do that? You know how much he loves you, that he'd never blame you for any of those things, Harry didn't tell us the truth to make you feel bad, he actually told you to make you feel better." Well, that hadn't quite worked in the right way then, had it? Sure, Niall had momentarily felt better, because it had been clear that Liam hadn't had any choice but work his ass off until late at night, but the longer Niall had thought about it, the clearer he had seen that none of this would've happened if it weren't for him. He had always been trying to watch out for Liam, that he didn't overwork himself or anything and now he had managed the complete opposite to happen. "This is not gonna help Liam, Nialler."

"Y-Yes i-it w-will…" Of course it would, he knew the older boy, if he didn't have Niall anymore he could fully concentrate on work and uni and not worry about anything anymore, things would be fine again with his dad and Liam would be free to do what he wanted, if work meant so much to him, Niall wasn't gonna keep him from doing that. 

"It won't, babe…how did you even get home? It's ice cold outside." Yeah, Niall was probably gonna get sick as well, he felt quite like it already to be honest, but maybe this was just coming from his body hurting from all the shaking, he wasn't quite sure and to be honest, also didn't really care anymore. 

"L-Liam d-drove m-me…" And it was pretty awkward just thinking about it, Niall should've taken a taxi, but once Liam had somewhat stopped crying, he had sounded pretty convincing, plus he had just started the car, not really leaving Niall a choice and giving him another 15 minutes of having to keep his facade up. Shit, why had Niall fucking done that, he loved Liam so incredibly much, it was killing him that he had broken the older boy's heart, and his own as well, how was he gonna survive this for just one single night?! "I-I w-wish I-I w-was d-dead…"

"Hey, Ni, don't say things like that, okay? Just try and calm down a bit and then we can talk about it, alright? I'm here, Niall, we can figure this out, I promise, it's gonna be okay." Nothing was gonna be okay, Niall just let out a noise against the pillow, shuddering as Louis started running his fingers through his hair, he always jumped into such a protective mode whenever something was up with Niall, it was nice, but it also made him miss Liam even more.

There was literally nothing the blonde boy could tell himself in order to calm down, he had no idea how much time passed by, but it seemed to be ages until he finally ran out of tears, and also out of breath, sitting back up then, with his back against the wall, blankly staring across the room even if Louis moved right next to him, with his arm draped across Niall's shoulders. He didn't even properly feel it, he had lost _Liam_. "I knew that he didn't tell me the truth. Back at home I mean… I knew it was a lie."

Louis flinched a bit, probably because he was so surprised about Niall speaking up all of a sudden, they had been quiet for a while, but the younger boy had a hard time keeping it in now, like, he just wanted to get it out because it was eating him from the inside out. "He didn't do it to hurt you, Niall. Are you mad at him? Because of that?"

"No, I'm not mad… I never could be. I know why he did it, but I feel so stupid now, like… I constantly texted him and bugged him about wanting to see him and all this time I thought he maybe didn't even have that much work and yeah, I admit it, I did doubt his loyalty for a second sometimes, but… but he loves me even more than I thought… god, Louis, he was crying so much in the car before and… I feel so bad, I miss him so much, I've been missing him the past few weeks, but now… now it's gonna kill me." Shit, maybe saying all this wasn't that much of a good idea after all, Niall felt fresh tears building up, but he managed to hold them back for now, trying to focus on the even rub of Louis' palm on his shoulder.

"It won't kill you, Niall, just… you have to think this through, okay? You know I fully support you, right? But this… this was a shit idea and I'm sorry for telling you so straight forward but… it was. Niall, you've been so happy ever since you got to know Liam, I mean you're always happy, but… I know it's hard for you, being away from home and all, but Liam kinda made all of that go away, didn't he? He's so good for you, Ni." Alright, there was no need to bother and completely dry his cheeks, Niall would be bawling in a few seconds again.

"But… but I'm not good for him." It was true, how could anyone not see that he was holding the older boy back? Niall was playing with his fingers like he always did when he was nervous, pulling so hard at the skin next to his thumb that he drew blood, but it kinda felt good, let him feel something else besides this dull pain in his chest. "He's got a serious job and he's almost finished with uni and he's probably gonna take over his dad's magazine some day and be really successful, he doesn't need some dumb 19 year old who constantly wants to spend time with him and distracts him all day long and has stupid panic attacks and attachment problems and-"

"Stop. I'm not gonna let you talk about yourself like that, Niall, you're not dumb, neither are your panic attacks, and you're not distracting Liam at all, because I know for a fact that he wants to spend just as much time with you as the other way around. And also, you don't have attachment problems, you just really love him and you get like that when somebody is important to you, it's not a bad thing." Squeezing the younger boy tightly, Louis pressed a kiss to the side of Niall's head, not even getting him to complain this time, like, he simply didn't care anymore. "And you're good for him too."

"How would you know that?" Niall mumbled, it was so hard to believe his best friend's words, because he was quite biased of course, he'd probably tell Niall anything to make him feel better, it's what Niall would do for him too.

"Because Harry told me. You're the only one who got Liam to let go for a bit, and got him to forget about work for a while and relax, and hell, I can see it, I'm not blind, you know? He really loves you, Nialler, and breaking up with him is not gonna help him to concentrate on work, it's gonna drag him down just as much as you. You should talk to him, tell him that you know the truth, and tell him that you love him and why you broke up with him, I think he deserves a chance in trying to talk you out of it." Why was Louis always so damn convincing? It almost caused Niall to groan, but he held back then, trying to see this realistically, but his head was pounding, eyes stinging, and he couldn't help but see himself as an intruder in Liam's life, yeah they might love each other, but would Liam ever be happy if he had constant fights with his parents? If he had to work extra just to make up for the time he spent with Niall? Give up a great career maybe? Probably not. 

"I don't know, Lou, I… I don't know what to think and my head fucking hurts, I think I'm gonna be sick…" Which wasn't very surprising after spending so long in the freezing cold, great, now Niall was gonna be ill as well and wouldn't be able to go outside probably and then he'd have to stay here all alone while his thoughts were fucking killing him. He had barely been able to just sit around during the past few weeks, how'd he even manage to pass this semester? Even more, did he even want to? Niall couldn't imagine staying here when everything would just remind him of Liam. "I wanna go home, I… coming here to study was a shit idea, Louis… why did we do that?"

"Niall, you gotta take a rest, okay? If you think you're gonna be sick and if you're gonna start doubting everything now, it's best if you lie down for a while and we'll talk about it tomorrow, okay? I'll tell Harry we can't hang out and then I can stay here, alright? Go lie down, Nialler, come on:" Lying down was the last thing Niall wanted to do, he just let out a huff, moving underneath his blanket anyways because he knew Louis wouldn't let off anyways. That's how he was, either teasing Niall or treating him like a child, no in between. "Do you want me to leave you alone?"

"No…" Was that even worth a question, Niall hated being alone and his best friend probably knew that since he looked pretty comfortable on the edge of Niall's bed, having made no attempt to move in any way. "Louis… don't tell Harry, okay? I mean… I mean the reason why I did it, he's gonna tell Liam… "

"I… " There was hesitation all of a sudden, Louis seemed quite unsure as he bit his bottom lip, making Niall feel even worse, he knew this was too much to ask for, forcing Louis to keep something from his boyfriend, but he didn't have a choice or Liam would be here tomorrow morning trying to change his mind. And Niall would buckle in within a heartbeat. "Okay, I won't, Nialler…but close your eyes, okay?" 

Nodding weakly, Niall did what he had been told, still slightly worried that Louis wasn't gonna keep quiet, but he was really exhausted from all the crying and shaking now, it seemed as if just for once he wouldn't have any troubles falling asleep. Which was kinda ironic, since he had been lying awake the past few weeks thinking about how badly he wanted to sleep in with Liam instead and now that he had ruined his change for that to happen ever again, he suddenly managed to be passed out completely within 5 minutes.

Maybe if he woke up tomorrow he'd find out it had all been a bad dream.

 

—————

 

Liam had no idea what to do, he felt so lost all of a sudden, like… why the hell would he carry on doing all of this if it wasn't for Niall? What was the bloody point, sure, he could be doing this for Harry now, but… Liam was so fucking tired of all of this, he had kept himself going somehow by telling himself that things would go back to normal again, but even if his dad would call to tell him that Liam was doing a great job (which had never and would never happen), he wouldn't even be able to be happy about it.

Niall had just broken it off, just like that, well, he had had his reasons of course, and it was a good thing, that he knew what was the best for him, but… Liam had been trying so hard, he loved this boy with all of his heart and Niall had been so bloody happy to have Liam home with him and just…. how could that be? How could he just end it like this when Liam had never ever felt as loved as by the younger boy? 

After he had dropped Niall off, Liam had waited in the car for a while, he hadn't even gotten a last goodbye kiss, or anything at all really, so he had sat there and cried, eventually forcing himself to drive him after his sight wasn't too blurry anymore, wanting nothing more than to call in sick at work.

But he didn't.

Life had always been kinda hard on Liam, he was kinda used to it by now, he'd never skipped school when he had been feeling bad, so he also wouldn't skip work now, it's just something he had been taught to do, just pull himself together and hide behind a facade, that was his thing, as sad as it sounded. Besides, sitting at home crying wouldn't help him either, he could as well try and distract himself, maybe, if he gave his very best, his dad would at least be happy. Not that he seriously managed to get anything done.

There was a sharp knock against his office door that had Liam almost jolting onto his feet, he had almost dozed off for the 3rd time now, after a night of 0 hours of sleep, that wasn't exactly surprising. 

"Yes?" Rubbing his palms over his face quickly, Liam had some hopes that maybe he didn't look too bad, maybe the dark circles underneath his red shot eyes weren't that noticeable. But then again, did it really matter?

As the door opened, Liam wasn't surprised to see his secretary popping her head in, what did surprise him though was the kind of satisfied, smug grin on her face, and then in combination of what she said, it couldn't mean anything good for Liam. "Your father wants to see you in his office, Mr. Payne."

Perfect, this was just the tip to the iceberg really, Liam didn't even try to suppress his sigh, it's not like nobody had noticed how many extra hours he had had to work during the past weeks, it's not like no one knew that his dad was using Liam as his punchbag all the freaking time. "Now?"

"Yes, now, he said it was urgent. He didn't sound too happy." That personal comment was very unusual, it was just because she found it way too funny, so she was trying to make sure Liam really knew that he was in trouble, that he'd probably be sitting here until midnight to try and somehow get halfway through with his work.

"Alright, I… let's go." Not bothering to do anything at all or even try to straighten out his suit, Liam just got up, leaving his desk like it was and his computer turned on, making his way to the door, trying to somehow put up his usual 'I don't care' expression, but he was pretty sure he just kinda looked dead. That's also how he felt.

Of course Liam couldn't go alone, his secretary walked with him all the way to the elevators and up to the highest floor, not speaking a word to him but she still kept that grin up, not a very professional thing to do, but it's not like Liam could fire her. It's not like he actually cared because the next person would probably behave just the same. Why again was he spending 12 hours a day in a building where almost everybody hated him?

As they came to his dad's office, Liam was honestly ready to just burst inside, open the door without knocking and asking what the hell was up now, in exactly that tone, but that only happened in his fantasy of course, in real life, he stood back, waiting until his secretary announced that he was here, at least having wiped that stupid grin out of her face now. Everyone was scared of Liam's dad, they had every reason to as well.

"Your son is here now, should I-"

"Then send him in here finally, took you long enough!" Not even having seen him yet, Liam could hear him yelling as if though they were standing opposite of each other. Alright, that anger could either mean Liam had done something terribly wrong or something else had happened that required him to not go home anymore. If only Liam could've curled up to Niall tonight to forget about all of this, it had always made getting through the day a lot easier. 

Still, as much as Liam hated all of this, he tried to behave somewhat appropriate, not even flinching or anything as his secretary gestured for him to go inside, her face having gotten more than just pale now. Good.

Liam would've expected anything really as he walked into the room, hearing the door being closed behind him, his eyes immediately locking with his dad's, who seemed as if he was raging, but that wasn't the surprise that caused confusion to spread in the brunette boy and had him forgetting where he was right now, no, it was his best friend sitting in one of the chair's in front of his dad's desk, in normal clothes, not even looking half as scared as you'd expect him to be. 

"Harry?! What's going on?" Forgetting his dad and his responsibilities for just a second, Liam only stared at Harry, still standing frozen by the door, not knowing what to think. His best friend didn't even have work today.

"Li, I-"

"Sit. And be quiet, both of you." Right, his dad was almost exploding over there, Liam dared throwing a look at him before nodding shortly, trying his best not to look too confused. But he was, Harry wasn't here because he had told his dad everything, was he? He couldn't have done that, they were fucking best friends!

Since Liam didn't dare to talk anymore, he just did what he had been ordered, even if he was almost bursting with questions for Harry, he kept them all in, staring at the desk in front of him then, playing with his fingers even if he knew how inappropriate all of this was, but seeing as things were right now, they couldn't get any worse.

"Liam, would you please care to explain to me why you begged me to give Mr. Styles a job and not fire him when he just comes walking into my office in laid back clothes telling me that he wants to quit?" Wait, what?!

"You fucking quit?! Have you lost your mind?!" Alright now, Liam's outbreak wasn't too uncalled for, he completely shut his dad out, almost yelling at Harry now, who still didn't look too impressed, well, he had no reason to be anymore. "Don't you think you should've told me?!"

"I just quit like 10 minutes ago, how was I supposed to tell you?" Then he simply shrugged, as if this was the most normal thing in the world, as if they were here having conversations with Liam's father every day. 

"Why did you do it?! Just because…." Liam quickly trailed off once he realised where this was going, not daring to speak on because he would've spilled everything then, he maybe was confused, but he wasn't suicidal, because telling the truth right now would've surely led to his death.

"I did it because you're never gonna say what you wanna say if I don't. And also… I thought it's time for something new." The last part was such a lie, Liam couldn't believe this, that Harry had fucking quit his job just because of him?! Just because he wanted to _force_ Liam to… yeah, what DID he want Liam to do now?! There was no point anymore.

"But you-"

"Liam, if you don't immediately start behaving and lowering your voice then your friend is not the only one who will walk out of here without a job, you got me? This behaviour is completely inappropriate, this is not how your mother and I raised you, I don't even wanna start on how lazy you have gotten during the past few months, and just thinking you could take 10 days off? If I had known about this you would have not left your office for two weeks straight. This is your job, Liam, this is your life and you have to work hard for it, every day, how do you think did I build this up? By going on holiday and hanging out with friends? Definitely not. Also, whatever your relationship to this college student you let hang around here is, you are to end it immediately, he's a-"

"Niall. His name's Niall." Okay, alright, Harry had definitely lost his mind, he just calmly interrupted Liam's dad's lecture, causing both of them stare at him, Liam with a dropped jaw and his dad at the edge of jumping over the table and strangling him. Well, at least now they knew that he had no idea about Niall and Liam dating, something he'd never have to worry about anymore. Not a very nice thought.

"Mr. Styles, thank for that very unnecessary input, you are dismissed and since you are not working for us anymore, please clear you desk as soon as possible." He said it calmly, but Liam could tell how hard it was for him to keep his voice low and stay polite, he was dangerous and Harry had clearly taken something last night for not seeing that.

"I'm not gonna leave until Liam finally spits out what he's been holding in all these years." Completely ignoring the way the older boy was trying to shake his head at him secretly, Harry wouldn't let it drop, no, even worse, he suddenly fucking started smiling at Liam. 

He couldn't say it, he wasn't brave enough, he would forever be stuck working his ass off here and stay alone because no one would be able to deal with how busy he was, but Liam simply couldn't do it as he stared down into his lap again, saying the words that made him hate himself. "Dad, I… there's nothing, really, I… I… I'm not gonna see Niall again, don't worry about it, he made it pretty clear last night that, uh… that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore."

Somehow, Liam had expected Harry to know about last night, that him and Niall were over, even if he had never told his best friend himself, he had assumed Louis would have for sure called him, because he always did, but for some reason, there was a very shocked sound coming from his left, causing Liam to unwillingly look away from his lap. "What?! You broke up with him?! I'm gonna kill you, Liam, what the fuck? Just because you are so far up your parents' asses, you-"

"It was the other way around…" Liam almost only mumbled, feeling heat crawling into his face and his heart beat speeding up terribly as he realised that Harry had just very clearly given away that he had been dating Niall… something his dad should've never found out. Maybe that was why he almost chocked now.

"I am so disappointed in you, Liam, your poor mother! Have you ever though about us during all of this?! Not enough that you have been dating another _man_ , you also put him over your own family!" That was it, Liam wasn't gonna make it out of this office alive. "I should just give you the lowest position we have right now, and make sure you properly have to work your way up and see how hard it is for some people! Dating a boy… I can't believe this, my own son, you're such a disappointment, Liam, I am shocked and deeply hurt by your actions, I hope you realise that. Your mother will be in tears!" 

"Dad, I…" Yeah what? Liam had nothing left to say, he had to fight back tears now, squeezing his own fingers so hard that it hurt, he had known this would happen if his parents ever found out, and now Harry had created an even bigger mess than they already had, he was jobless now and Liam would probably have to start at the very beginning, friendless, with no point for doing any of this really, maybe he should just quit himself.

For some reason though, Harry had either not been listening or it simply didn't effect him that Liam's dad was raging now, he seemed pretty guilty all of a sudden, but apparently not because of the fact that he had just ruined Liam's life by saying what he had. "Wait… he broke up with you? But… shit. Shit, oh god, this is all my own fault, I… I just wanted to calm him down, Liam, he had a panic attack and I… I told him because he was so sad and he thought you didn't love him anymore and… I told him, I told him the truth and now he thinks it's his fault for sure, I'm so sorry."

"What?! You mean he-"

"LIAM JAMES PAYNE!" Their half whispered conversation was immediately interrupted as they flinched hard at Liam's dad slamming a fist on the table, his head was red, a vein popping out on his forehead that Liam had last seen 10 years ago when he had brought home an F minus. They were so dead. "You are _immediately_ going to apologise for your own behaviour as well as for your friend's, you are NOT ever going to mention this Niall boy ever again and also, I am going to think of a way to punish you, trust me, you are not going to keep your position. And coming to you, Mr. Styles, if you don't get the hell out of my office I'm going to call security!" 

It was on the rare side that he started swearing like this, but Liam only half listened, his mind was running wild now as he recalled last night's conversation with Niall, how strange it had been that he had just decided to end this without a real explanation. Well, Liam had one now, the younger boy blamed himself, he knew him way too well, and maybe Niall had thought he could hide this from him, but it was so clear all of a sudden that Liam wanted to laugh, he couldn't believe this boy, what the hell had he been thinking?! That Liam would rather have this shitty job than the most perfect and loving relationship he could have ever imagined? "Fine, I'm already outside. You coming, Li? I think we have somewhere to be."

"Don't you dare, Liam! If you go now then you can forget your job, you can forget your apartment and you can forget _me_ , if you leave now and go back to this boy you are not my son anymore, I can promise you that, I've been giving you everything and you backstab me like that? You should be ashamed of yourself." Both Harry and his dad had gotten up now while Liam was just sitting there, looking from one to the other, not even needing more than ten seconds for this decision. He was gonna get Niall back, if that has been the reason for him to break up with Liam then he could fix this, he HAD to fix this, he couldn't stay here and be miserable for the rest of his life, Harry had been right, all along, and thank god he had quit his job a few minutes before because it made this whole thing a billion times easier as Liam got up out of his chair as well.

"Tell mum I said hi. Bye, dad."

 

—————

 

"I can't believe you did that." Was the only thing that Liam could think of saying as they hurried to his car in the freezing cold while he tried to loosen his tie with numb fingers, there was no point in wearing that thing any longer now, also, he felt as if he was kinda high right now, he was almost laughing from all this craziness that had just happened. But most of all, Liam finally felt the knot in his chest loosening, he didn't know for sure why Niall had broken up with him, but he had a pretty good idea now and if that was true, he'd be able to get his boy back, he'd just have to get to him.

"I had to, Liam, I woke up today thinking about how you're working your ass off right now just because of me and Niall and I couldn't take it anymore. Hell, Liam, I'm so thankful you got me this job, but I never really actually liked it, you know? Besides, I'm pretty sure Zayn can hook us up with some model jobs, he offered it to me a few times already." Harry had a crooked smile playing around his lips, he seemed pretty confident about all of this suddenly, as if it was more than clear that everything would be fine, but they still had to get there first of all. "I still can't believe Louis didn't tell me though, Niall probably begged him not to. But why didn't YOU tell me that he broke up with you?"

"I don't know, I… I was pretty depressed, alright? And I kinda… I don't know, I thought there was no use anymore, he seemed pretty convinced by what he was doing and he said so much stuff, I thought he didn't actually love me, so who am I to go and try to talk him out of this? If this is what he believed is best for him…" But apparently, he had done what he thought was best for Liam instead, that alone caused the older boy's heart to ache once more, he should've known, he knew Niall so well, he'd never go and randomly decide that Liam wasn't worth it anymore, especially not after their Christmas break together. "Why did _you_ tell him the truth? I told you he'd freak out and blame himself."

"I know, Li, I'm sorry, okay? I told you, it was because he had a panic attack and he was saying all this stuff and he missed you so much and I thought it'd help him, if he knew you had a good reason to work so much… didn't quite work out a I guess." Well, not at all, but Liam couldn't bring himself to be angry, he was already fumbling with his keys, completely having forgotten about his dad or whatever he had just done, nothing mattered now except for getting to Niall as fast as possible and explain himself. "But hey, you finally did it, Liam."

"Did what?" A bit confused, Liam unlocked his car for both of them to slip inside, barely any space on his mind for anything besides the fact that he'd get to see Niall soon, he couldn't fucking wait, he shouldn't have let the boy go like that last night, but he had been too shocked and too heart broken to do anything against it. 

"You told your dad that he can go fuck himself. Well, not in the exact words that I would've you used, but you did it anyways. I can't believe he said all that stuff, I'm so glad we both quit, who wants to work for an homophobe ass anyways?" True, however he was still Liam's dad, even though… if he didn't see Liam as his son anymore then what exactly did that mean the other way around? To be honest, it was quite sad how little Liam cared.

"I'm probably still gonna have to see him though, I don't know… I'm just so fucking relieved right now, we should've done this weeks ago, Haz, why didn't we?" Liam should've quit the second his dad had called to order him back home, it would've saved him and Niall so many troubles and so much pain, he wanted to slap himself for being such a pussy. But then again, he had also done it for Harry, so the other boy quitting his job first had kind of been a precondition for Liam to do the same.

"I don't, Li, but it's over now, finally. And you can sleep on my couch until you find a new place, okay? I'm pretty sure they're gonna fight for you to work for them, just think of all the competitors your dad's magazine has, imagine how angry he'll get to find out you work for one of them." Harry actually had to laugh at this while Liam started his car, cracking a tiny smile but not bringing himself to anything more really, he didn't care too much about finding a job right now, no money in the world was worth anything to him if he didn't have Niall by his side.

The drive was short, of course, giving Liam a few flashbacks from last night that he tried to suppress while Harry babbled on next to him about random stuff, as if it was just a normal day, he seemed to somehow have gotten a high from going and quitting his job, which Liam kinda understood, but he had other worries on his mind, even if he was of course excited, but the most important part for him to finally be able to fall asleep at night again was still missing.

"Why did they give you a house key?" It seemed kinda strange to Liam, that his best friend simply pulled out a key as he asked him to call Louis so he could come and let them into the building since he obviously couldn't ask Niall.

"I don't know, I'm here a lot more than you are, my flat is not that much bigger as their dorm, so it's not that much of a difference." Oh, well, Liam should've thought about that himself, but he soon would have to settle for a much smaller place as well, not that he cared one bit, he just wanted to hold Niall now and nothing else.

His nervousness was almost unbearable as they hurried upstairs and stood in front of the right door, Liam almost suggested they just walk in there as well, but he knew that knocking would be the right thing to do, even if Harry did it a bit, very, aggressively, it still felt like ages until someone came to open up. If this was Niall then Liam would scoop him up in his arms and never let go again, he didn't care anymore, he didn't even want to talk about it any longer or explain anything, he somehow thought that he'd change Niall's mind by just hugging him tightly enough. And maybe kissing him.

Unfortunately though, it was a very sleepy Louis who opened up, eyes going wide as he saw them before frowning slightly. "Um, hi?"

"Babe, this is an emergency, is Niall here? I think Liam has to tell him a few things, he knows that Niall knows the truth, don't worry. You look hot in this shirt, and by the way, why didn't you tell my that they broke up?" Their relationship was so weird, Liam just watched for a second as Harry kissed his boyfriend on the lips before simply entering the room because Louis somehow seemed to step back automatically, his face not as happy as Liam would've hoped to see it, he actually just sighed while closing the door behind them.

"Thanks. And Niall is not here, no, also, I didn't tell you because I figured Liam would." Right, that had been a very big mistake Liam regretted, but even more important, where the heck was Niall?! At uni? But it was like, really late, he never stayed there for that long.

"Well, he did just before, but what do you mean? Where is he? And why on god's earth did he break up with Liam?" Judging by the looks on the other boy's face, they weren't gonna find anything out from him and Liam felt frustration rushing through him, shit, now that he finally could Niall back his boy was nowhere to be found? And then again, it worried him too, like, where was he? Hopefully safe, hopefully nothing had happened to him, god, Liam needed to see him.

"Look, I… I promised Niall I wouldn't say anything. Like, he begged me not to before he left and I… I said I wouldn't, I mean, I agree, it was stupid of him to break up with Liam and he was crying so much last night and I-"

"So he still loves me?" Liam couldn't help but blurt out with it, this was all he cared about, nothing else, they could figure everything out working from there.

Immediately, the other two stared at him for interrupting their conversation, but Louis' face went soft all of a sudden before he sighed, nodding shortly. Thank god. "He does, Liam, more than anything, you know that. And I shouldn't have told you this right now, but… I want you guys to be happy together, it's just… look, I'm so worried about him, he's feeling so bad because you barely see each other anymore and I don't wanna make decisions for him here if this is what he wanted, I… I don't know what to do, I wanna tell you everything, trust me, but… I promised I wouldn't and I'm scared Niall will get hurt in the end…"

"He won't, Lou, Liam and I figured this all out, we quit our jobs, Liam has all the time in the world now to be with Niall if you tell us where he is." Okay, maybe Harry shouldn't have said it like that, because Louis immediately turned to him with raised eyebrows, shocked obviously, maybe also because Harry had sounded as if though this had been the best decision of his life. Maybe it had, it felt quite like it.

"What? But… what about Liam's dad?" A good question.

"Fuck him, I don't care anymore, I… please tell me where he his, Louis, I gotta apologise and I have to convince him that we do belong together and that what we have is worth it, despite what he said, please tell me, you're not gonna regret it, I promise." Liam kinda had an idea about where the younger boy was suddenly, and he saw it by the look on the other boy's face, how is expression got softer as he sighed, suddenly wrapping his arm around Harry's waist to pull him closer.

"I think you know where he'd go if he feels bad, Liam. He's a bit sick too…" Shit, he had really gotten sick because of last night, Liam felt a pinch, but he tried not to get too upset right now, now that he had confirmation where his boy was, he could make up for everything he had done wrong, and he would. Maybe only in a few hours though.

"He went home." And as Louis nodded twice, obviously still feeling bad about having told Liam, but also relieved that he had guessed it, the older boy was almost out the door already, never having felt more motivated to get into his car. He knew exactly what he had to now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thought i'd update early because i know last chapter didn't have a very nice ending! this one is probably not what you all have hoped for either but i promise this is gonna have a good ending :)


	15. Chapter 15

"Niall, honey, are you sure you-"

"Mum, please, I'm fine, I just got a cold, nothing more." Maybe coming home hadn't been that much of a great idea at all, Niall pulled the blanket up higher, trying to ignore the fact that he felt feverish as hell, his mum had made him take several pills and whatnot already, pretty sure that stuff could heal anything he might have had. Except for a broken heart maybe. "Please leave me alone, I'm gonna be okay, I'll call if I need anything." 

"Alright then… my poor baby." She patted his head one more time before finally getting off of the edge of his bed, slowly making her way to the door while Niall waited in anticipation for her to be gone so he could feel sorry for himself again. 

He didn't regret coming home this morning, Louis had been trying to talk him out of it for a while until he had noticed how hot Niall's forehead had been and how scratchy his throat sounded, all from waiting for Liam in the freezing cold. So he had told Niall to go home until he was healthy again and felt better, which would never happen, but now that Niall was lying in this bed feeling like shit, he wasn't sure whether staying at his dorm wouldn't have been the better option. At least he hadn't had sex with Liam there, like, real sex, not hand jobs. Stupid, but this was all Niall could think about now as he turned away from the wall, for good reason, so he wouldn't see the other boy's face on the magazine page, pressing his eyes shut tightly before clutching the blanket tighter to his body. He needed to sleep this off, and not cry preferably because that would've kept him awake and would have caused his mother to come back into the room within 5 seconds to never leave again. She didn't know about that Niall and Liam were over, telling her would've bee like signing a contract that Niall wanted talk about it for 3 hours straight, which was really the last thing he felt up for doing. He needed to get it into his damn head, that no matter how bad he felt, this wasn't gonna bring Liam back, Niall had brought this upon himself, had ruined every chance of the older boy fighting for him by telling him the things he had. It was too late.

No idea how much time passed by, maybe the whole day even, it did get quite dark outside after a while of Niall slipping in and out of sleep. If anything, he started to feel even worse, just like he always did when it got late, it was easier to pretend during the day, but there was no chance escaping his torturing thoughts when he was lying alone in bed, thinking about how much he hated sleeping alone. Even more now that he had seen what he could have had instead.

His mother had done Niall that favour and stayed out of his room for most of the day, one time she had forced him to drink the awful tea she sometimes made, but at least it had been something to do really. Like, it got impossible to stay asleep for long after a while, so Niall had listened to his mother rummaging through the house, hoping that once his dad came home he wouldn't burst into his room as well. But he was more of the quiet type anyways, hopefully he'd leave Niall to die in here, yeah, that would've been nice.

Since Niall's room was exactly above the front door, of course he heard someone ringing the doorbell, moving around on the front porch for a while before that, probably his dad looking for his key before realising he had forgotten them. At least that would've explained his mum's loud voice, though she didn't sound mad for being interrupted, but she also wasn't being quiet by any means. Not that Niall cared, he couldn't really listen, also didn't want to, so he just pulled his phone out instead.

It was about 9 pm now, quite late actually, though Niall had only been here since like 12 pm, because of the train taking a while of course, he considered texting Louis, a little hurt that his best friend hadn't asked him how he was, but then remembered that he was probably with Harry seeing as they had the dorm all to themselves now. Great, that was really the image Niall had needed right now.

Listening to his dad walking up the stairs, Niall silently prayed for him to not take the left turn and walk straight to his room, of course getting disappointed though, letting his phone drop and pressing his eyes shut. Maybe if he pretended to be deep asleep his father would leave him alone? Hopefully.

He did knock, very softly, not like Niall would've expected, but he ignored it either ways because the door opened anyways. Now was the time for him to see that Niall wasn't gonna wake up anytime soon and leave him the hell alone again. He didn't.

For some reason, his dad decided he needed to close the door after himself again, and yeah, that was quite weird, Niall admitted that, even more now since he came over to the blonde boy's bed, not saying anything of course, but he also sat down on the edge of the mattress which was when Niall started getting suspicious.

One, it smelled a whole lot like Liam's cologne all of a sudden, which maybe also was because Niall had his hoodie on that he had never given back, but also, the fingers running through his hair kinda forced Niall to blink his eyes open, just to check, because the weird feeling in his stomach and his increased breath told him something that was impossible, there was no way this was actually- "Liam?!"

"Hi…" It really was him, Niall had to actually rub his eyes to believe it, immediately jolting into a sitting position, away from the older boy's hand, even if it made him dizzy as hell, moving back against the wall out of instinct, just blankly staring into Liam's kinda unsure and careful face. Louis had a lot of explaining to do. "Um… I'm sorry for… for just walking in here, I thought you were asleep."

"I… what are you doing here?" That was the best question, Niall already felt his face getting hotter than it had been before, he could imagine that he looked very bad right now, probably had a bad breath too, and then he hated himself for thinking all of this, they were over, done, why would he care to make a good impression in front of the older boy? Well, maybe because he was deadly in love with him and already had the urge to fling himself at Liam and beg him for forgiveness while telling him he loved him in between one billion kisses. Shit.

"I think… I think we should talk, Nialler." His nickname out of the brunette's mouth had Niall sucking in a breath, he felt really shaky and giddy inside, clutching the blanket to keep his hands still. He wouldn't be able to resist the older boy, just seeing him brought tears to his eyes, he just wanted him back and nothing else, but he couldn't have him, why couldn't Liam see that he was better off without Niall?

"And that's why you came all the way here? What about… about your job? Don't you have to work?" He was gonna get fired for staying away for so long, but staring into his face, Niall felt as if he was the only one concerned about that, maybe the fever was getting to him, he did feel a bit extra emotional and dizzy and in need of cuddles.

"No, I don't I… well, that's part of what I wanted to talk to you about, you know. But first, um… I wanted to say something." God, please no, Niall could barely even look at the older boy, but he saw it from the corner of his eyes, that he was biting his bottom lip, seeming just as nervous as Niall himself. "Um, you know I… I talked to Harry and he told me that… that he told you about… well, he told you that I lied to you, about why I had to leave, and I wanted to apologise for that, Niall, I would've never lied if I hadn't wanted to protect you, I just didn't want you to feel guilty for any of this…"

"It's okay, I… I'm not mad, just… I wish you would've told me, I do feel like it's kinda my fault, because I was such a distraction to you that you couldn't fully concentrate on your job, which is exactly what you always said in the beginning and I kept bugging you about wanting to spend time with you and I'm sorry for that because I didn't want to cause any problems with your dad and I know that-"

"Is that why you broke up with me?" Liam just asked bluntly, interrupting Niall in his ramble, all these things just kept bubbling out now, of course he had known that Liam would find out that he knew the truth eventually, he had just never expected having to talk about it with him, like… he hadn't been exactly nice two nights ago, nothing like Liam would've deserved, so the younger boy hadn't known what Liam thought about him now, whether he'd ever forgive him… whether he still loved him. But it's not something that could just go away, right? And he was here, Liam had come to see him and talk and though Niall knew it would only cause problems, he was so relieved that he had. 

"I don't wanna keep you from doing the things that you wanna do, Li… I … I don't wanna ruin this for you, ruin your family, I've messed up enough already, and then Harry's job too and… it makes me feel really bad, Liam… please understand, okay? I… I didn't wanna do this, but… I had to…" He shouldn't have told Liam, he should've told him that there was no need to talk about it, that they wouldn't get back together, that he had thought this through already, but that would've been a lie, Niall wasn't strong enough for any of this, he loved this boy, so much, had fallen for him pretty much the moment he had seen him at the supermarket, what was he supposed to do?

"Niall, you're not keeping me from doing anything at all, you know, my family has always been ruined, there's nothing anyone could've made worse. And about my… job, it is true, what you always said, that I need to take a break sometimes. And I'm so thankful, you know, that you always made sure that I lay off sometimes, I never managed to do that, I… it's all because of you, babe, you made everything better. I love you, so much, and I'm sorry I didn't keep your from leaving two nights ago, I thought… I thought you really didn't wanna do this anymore, but… I guess I came here because I still have hopes, that I might get to change your mind about this, that maybe you still want me… that you didn't break up with me because you actually think we're not worth it. Because I do think we're worth it, I've never had what we had with someone else, and I don't think I ever will, you're perfect, Ni, I know I don't deserve you, but… I was hoping maybe… you could give me another chance?" Shit, fucking shit this was too much.

The tears that had been building up in Niall's eyes suddenly spilled over, he tried to wipe them away but there were just too many, and Niall's head was hurting and he felt sick to his stomach but now there were also these butterflies and god… "I l-love you t-too…b-but L-Liam-"

"Hey, ssh, Nialler, it's okay, calm down, babe, it's all good, okay? You don't have to say anything right now, just know I love you, and I'd do anything to be with you and I don't care what it takes I'll do anything you want me to. Anything, baby, I swear to god, just say a word and you'll get it." He reached out for Niall's hand then, even if it was quite wet from wiping the tears, a small smile playing around his lips as he intertwined their fingers like Niall had wished for for so long. 

Liam's words were like a wish come true, but at the same time, they gave Niall a sting as well, how could he say yes to all of these things, he knew what he wanted, but he couldn't ask for that, not in a billion years. "W-What a-about your p-parents… w-what about w-work? A-And H-Harry?"

"Babe… there's something I need to tell you, I… wait, are you cold?" Seriously interrupting himself because of Niall pulling the blanket higher with his free hand, Liam seemed honestly worried, immediately reaching out for Niall's forehead, his palm feeling cold against the boy's heated skin but at the same time causing tingles to spread all throughout his body.

"A-A bit…" Niall sniffed, not wanting to lie even if he wanted to know what the older boy had been trying to tell him, his hand now slipping down to cup Niall's face gently, just like he always did, his thumb wiping away an escaping tear.

"You think there's still some space under the blanket or do you want me to stay away?" Still smiling, Liam left him a choice, even though the second their eyes locked, both of them probably knew that Niall would buckle in within a second, he tried to resist the other boy, tried to do what would be logical and right, but looking into this face, the face he loved so much and had woken up next to so many times, he just couldn't do it.

"I-I think t-there's s-space…" Seeing Liam's smile widening after that was more than just worth it, Niall was so in love, how could he have said no to getting a cuddle in order to get warmer?

"Okay." Brushing over Niall's cheek once more, Liam slowly brought their intertwined hands up to his face, pressing a kiss onto the back of Niall's before carefully letting go of him, moving to slip down underneath the blanket with him that Niall lifted shyly, not really knowing how to do this exactly in the least awkward way.

But that kinda was the thing about Liam though, the way he kept up the happy face now, his wonderful, gorgeous smile as he crawled into the bed, making sure not to get Niall too cold during the process before sitting down next to him, his arm finding its way across the younger boy's shoulders, pulling him only gently but causing Niall to give in immediately, not hesitating before cuddling up to Liam, feeling his warmth through his shirt as he rested his cheek in the crook of his shoulder, breathing in deeply. Yeah, that alone could've brought him to even more tears after somewhat having calmed down.

"You alright, Ni?" His voice was soft as he asked, making sure to pull the blanket back in place, properly covering the both of them with his free hand while Niall just sniffed, his fingers almost automatically twisting into the older boy's shirt, pressing as close into his body as somehow possible. 

"I'm fine…" More than that, this shouldn't have felt so good and so safe, but Niall couldn't help it that it did, this was all he had wanted for the past few weeks and though they weren't actually 'back together', he still couldn't help himself from enjoying this, could he? Or control the words that slipped out of his mouth. "I miss you…"

"I miss you too, baby." Liam had answered immediately, wrapping his other arm around the younger boy too before placing a kiss on the top of his head, his lips resting there gently, warm breath hitting Niall's scalp as he mumbled. "Been missing you since three weeks… I wish I could turn back time, and make up for leaving you here like that and for all the time we could've spent together afterwards, I thought I could make it alright again, you know? I really thought I could…"

"It's okay, Liam… 'm not mad, I just wish …" Then he broke off, because he realised what he had been about to say, nothing that would help either of them, a wish that he knew he wasn't allowed to have.

"Wish what, Nialler?" Of course he asked, placing another kiss while tightening his arms, warming Niall better than any heater ever could've, from the inside.

"Nothing…" He couldn't say he wished Liam would spend more time with him, could he, not after breaking up with him and after finding out that he had been working his ass off to not get fired. That would've been more than selfish. "What is it you wanted to tell me before?" 

"Right, that… " Surprisingly, Liam suddenly let out a chuckle while his face was still buried in the blonde hair, rubbing his hand over the younger boy's shoulder comfortingly, as if he needed to calm him rather than warm him. "You know when I was at work today… my dad called me into his office."

"Oh… why?" That didn't sound like anything good, Niall felt tension going through his body even if he felt the older boy being all relaxed, scared that he was going to say something to make him feel even guiltier than he already did.

"Well, when I got there, Harry was there too for some reason and… it was strange because he doesn't work today usually, so I asked what was wrong and… Harry told me he had quit his job." Wait… what the heck?! 

"But why did he do that?" Niall almost lifted his head, almost, if it hadn't been so incredibly comfortable to stay like this and if Liam hadn't held on so tightly.

"He says it has two reasons, one because he didn't wanna do it anymore and two… well because of me. So I wouldn't have to feel bad if I wanted to quit too and-"

"You can't quit, Liam, what about your dad?! And you're gonna be so successful, you worked so hard for all of this you can't throw it away, no matter how much time you have to spend at the office, I fully support you, okay?" Well, Niall hadn't said that he was gonna give Liam a second chance, it's not as if he needed one, as if he had done anything wrong, but the younger boy still was very unsure of what to do now, of course he wanted Liam back, of course he wanted everything they had had before, but… was that really the right thing to say?

"This brings me to the thing that I _actually_ wanted to tell you…" Alright, now Niall's heart was definitely beating a little bit too fast, Liam's voice sounded a bit too tight all of a sudden as he almost ignored Niall's little outbreak, once again almost causing him to lift his head.

"What is it, Li?" Maybe Niall should've guessed it already, but he was kinda caught up by the boy's cologne stuck up his nose, his even breath against his skin, the slow fall and rising of his chest. It was hard forming a clear thought right now.

Well, until Liam spoke up again. "I… I quit my job too." 

Immediately, Niall's head came flying up for real, almost bumping into Liam's actually, but he barely noticed, his eyes had gone wide as he stared at the older boy in shock, thinking that he might have to get his ears checked. Oh my god?! "Liam?! Why did you do that… why… did you do that because of me?! Because of what I said? I would never want you to give up your job for me, I wouldn't want you to give up _anything_ for me, oh my god, Liam, this is-"

"The best decision I've ever made? Yeah. I should've done that a long time ago, I just never had a reason to I suppose, but you gave me one, and I wanted to say thank you for that. Don't worry about it, babe, I did quit for you, but I also did it for myself, I mean… I'm gonna have to find a new place now and a new job and my dad will probably never talk to me again, but… after all the stuff he's said today, I'm pretty positive I don't even wanna hear what he'd have to tell me anyways. So… what about that second chance now?" Was he fucking real?!

Niall couldn't answer immediately, especially not while seeing Liam's bright face right in front of his, with his stupid, plush, red and kissable lips, his arms still tightly around the younger boy. How was Niall supposed to feel about this?! Not in a million years would he have expected Liam to do this! Sure, it made his heart pounding a lot harder, just the thought of this, that Liam had done what Niall had secretly wished for for so long, what he knew Harry had told his best friend to do as well, just… Niall wouldn't have thought he would actually ever pull through with this. And then partly because of him… this was exactly what he had feared. "Liam, I… I don't know what to say, I… I never wanted for you to have to choose between me and-"

"Ssh, I know, Niall. I know you would've never forced me to do this, or even asked for it, and as I said, I did it for myself too. It doesn't have anything to do with you if I do things in order to feel better, does it?" Well, Niall had to admit that Liam seemed very happy about his decision so he nodded a bit, getting an unexpected kiss on the forehead in return. "None of this was ever your fault, you always just made everything better for me, Nialler, you gave me something to look forward to the whole day I spent at work. Even though… I am kinda glad that I had my job because otherwise I wouldn't have bought any diet coke to stick to this stupid diet and we would've never met maybe, but I'm so glad that we did, and that you were so persistent and I love you and I wanna be with you and I promise everything will be better from now, so please? Please let us try again."

What was there to say now? Niall had no arguments left, nothing, he felt guilty, but it became less and less with every passing second Liam stared into his eyes with this loving expression on his face. He wouldn't lie like this, not if it was this important, and it wasn't a secret that Liam had been stressed out a lot, and exhausted, and Niall knew that the older boy loved him, so why would he say no to what both of them wanted? What Liam had just made the biggest decision of his life for? "I… okay."

And that was all Liam needed apparently to smash their lips together, even if Niall resisted for about a second, because he was quite sick and hadn't brushed his teeth in a while, but the older boy didn't seem to mind, cupping Niall's cheek, still keeping the kiss soft even though it was clear that he was eager for it, as if they hadn't kissed in months.

So the younger boy give in easily, opening his mouth with a sigh as Liam's tongue was begging for entrance, fisting the other boy's shirt even tighter to keep him as close as possible, not ever wanting this moment to stop. 

It felt so wonderful, being wrapped in warmth and Liam's strong arms, kissing him like this, deeply, with slow strokes of his tongue against Niall's, his palm keeping Niall's head in place, keeping him close as they snogged for what felt like forever. And it could've lasted forever if it had gone after the younger boy, even if he had to press his eyes shut tightly to keep those stupid tears inside, he felt relief washing through him at the same time, almost causing him to giggle right into Liam's mouth. But it was none of these things that had Niall breaking the kiss in panic, it was the fact that he had to sneeze really badly of a sudden because of his cold, immediately turning his head as far away from Liam as possible, leaving the older boy confused for a second. "Wha-"

And then Niall had to sneeze, not too loudly, it sounded pretty pathetic actually, but he sniffed unwillingly afterwards, feeling slightly embarrassed as he turned back around, not really wanting to meet Liam's eyes right now. "I'm sorry… I'm sick, I shouldn't have allowed you to kiss me, now you're probably gonna get infected or something."

"Bless you first of all, baby. And don't worry, I doubt that you're gonna infect me but I got lots of time to be sick now anyways." Then he pressed a kiss onto Niall's nose, making him blush just slightly, mostly because of the gentle look Liam had in his eyes as he watched him, running a hand through his hair slowly. "But first we gotta make sure you'll be all healthy again, okay? Come one, let's lie down, you look pretty exhausted."

He was exhausted actually, even if he felt pretty hyper from everything that had just happened, Niall still complied as Liam moved, holding the blanket open for Niall to lie down before luckily moving right next to him, tugging them both back in as he gently slipped his arm underneath Niall's head, both of them lying on their sides so they could look at each other. How long had it been since they had done this? Felt like fucking ages to Niall, he could barely believe that this was true and not just some weird fever dream, although Liam's breath against his face and the warmth of his arm around Niall's waist felt very, very real.

"Are you okay? Warm? Comfortable? Do you need something to drink or some medicine?" Liam seemed very concerned all of a sudden, continuously brushing his fingers through Niall's hair, making him smile immediately with all these questions. He was so nice, Liam was the best person walking this planet, Niall was 100% sure of it, that he didn't deserve him, that he'd never find anyone who he would adore more than this boy. But for some very messed up reason, Liam seemed to love him just as much, still, after Niall had behaved like such a fool, and that was worth the world to him. 

"I'm okay, Li… more, I'm feeling perfect right now… thanks to you. I love you so much, I'm never gonna get tired of telling you that either, because it's true and I'm so sorry I broke up with you two nights ago, I… I should've known that this would never work, that I'd never manage to stay away from you, you mean way too much to me, more than anybody else ever will. So much I would give up everything I have and want just for you to be happy, I hope you know that." Running his thumb over Liam's warm bottom lip, Niall felt the boy's breath agains his skin, slowly drawing his eyes away from his mouth to stare into his eyes again.

"I know, Nialler, I know all of that, it's why I came here, because I know you wouldn't have ended this just because, I trust you, one hundred percent and I love you, and I promise, from now on, you're gonna see so much of me you'll get sick of it." Then he grinned widely, making Niall giggle by kissing his thumb still against the older boy's mouth, then his lips, using his legs to pull Niall closer into him by wrapping them around one of his. "If you want to, we can stay here for a while, you know… I'm thinking there's something we have to do, which we can't while you're sick, but as soon as you're healthy again… I might have remembered the place you talked about, you know, my Christmas present, for our first date, and I called them before driving here and I got reservations for in a few days… just thought I'd ask, whether you know someone who would wanna go with me."

"Liam… you're unbelievable." Niall couldn't even believe this, he had been so sad and disappointed because of this, he would've never thought they'd actually get the chance to make up for this, but his heart was bumping incredibly fast at the thought, his fingers tightening automatically from where he had them wrapped into Liam's hair at the back of his neck, not being able to stop this smile from half splitting his face apart. "I love you."

"I love you more, babe, and also… there's something else I gotta make up for." Before Niall could protest about Liam loving him more, because that was impossible, no one loved anyone more than he loved the older boy, he already got interrupted by a soft pair of lips against his. "I'm gonna kiss you for every day you didn't get a goodnight and good morning kiss. And a few times more because I didn't give you a New Year's kiss either. And a goodbye and hello kiss for whenever I had to leave and came back from work. Actually, I'm just gonna kiss you a bunch now, alright?"

Instead of answering, Niall just pressed their lips together again, clinging to the older boy as he felt him smiling into the kiss, this was not even possible, that someone was this sweet and cute and perfect, but Niall had the proof right here and he was sure that no matter what happened, he was never gonna feel as happy as in Liam's arms, with his mouth on top of Niall's, messing up the kiss because they both had to laugh. This was all he would ever need.

 

———— 6 months later ————

 

"Babe, are you almost ready now? I've been sitting here for fifteen minutes, my butt is seriously starting to hurt." Niall had to laugh over his own joke, although his butt did slightly hurt, which had nothing to do with the sitting though but rather last night of going for a bit too many times, he still got up off the couch to go look for his boyfriend, which didn't take very long seeing as his flat wasn't that big anymore as it once used to be.

Not that it mattered, Niall liked it a lot better here actually, he also liked the fact that Liam didn't have to wear suits to his new workplace anymore and that he had finished uni a month ago, of course with better grades than Niall could ever hope for. He did study, he just also had a very handsome boyfriend who continued to do model jobs and working for a magazine, just not for his dad anymore. Actually, Liam hadn't heard from his father ever since he had given the key to the apartment back and had gotten his stuff from his office. His mother did call sometimes though, she also wanted to meet Niall, which had made Liam very happy and Niall as well, even if he was nervous, he was glad his boyfriend at least had one supportive parent. Or something like that, they hadn't met up with her so Niall had yet to form an opinion about that.

Also, Louis and Harry were of course doing great, so great that Louis planned on moving in with Harry, he had made jokes after Niall had started pouting, that Liam would for sure let him move in with him as well so he wouldn't have to live alone in a dorm, but Niall couldn't just ask that, could he? Even if he spent most of his nights at the older boy's place, but he still didn't officially _live_ here. 

Either ways, things had been heaven the past 6 months, they had gone on so many dates that Niall had stopped counting after the 10th, it was as if Liam was trying to make up for all the times they hadn't gone on one before and who was Niall to say no really? He loved going on dates with Liam, especially on friday nights, because that meant he could have a few pints once they got back to Liam's flat and the older boy could roll his eyes before laughing and giving in to Niall's, slightly tipsy, flirting attempts and carry him to his bedroom. Yeah, that was always how Niall's favourite nights ended, and lucky him he got a whole bunch of them.

So short, Niall couldn't have been happier, his life was going perfect just the way it was and the very best part was, he was pretty sure that Liam felt exactly the same way, he didn't earn as much money anymore, but he also wasn't stressed out and busy all the time anymore. Well, except for right now while standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom, apparently trying to still fix his hair after 15 minutes.

"I'm almost done…" Liam mumbled, mostly paying attention to his reflection than Niall though, he seemed to be very concentrated as well, it was kinda cute, how much time he spent on this when they really weren't even going anywhere fancy.

"Didn't know you cancelled our dinner for a photoshoot." Niall joked, wrapping his arms around the older boy's stomach from behind to place a kiss between his shoulder blades over his shirt before resting his cheek against his upper arm. "Why you trying so hard, Li? The only one you're allowed to impress is me and I love you even after not showering for 6 days."

"I have never not showered for 6 days, Nialler." He actually pulled a face while Niall just laughed, turning his head to place another kiss, kinda feeling very clingy and cuddly today, but it was hard not to be when they had spent most of the day together because Niall's classes had been cancelled and Liam had gone home early, making Niall feel like the luckiest guy alive as they had been cuddling on the couch for hours straight, just talking about anything that had come to their mind really. 

"I just meant, if you wanted to save water from now on, you're not gonna lose me because of that." No idea where this was going, Niall was just in a good mood and sometimes he just happened to get the conversation a bit off topic, nothing his boyfriend wasn't used to already though.

"What are you talking about, silly?" Still busy with his hair, Liam stopped for a second to press a kiss onto Niall's forehead, rubbing the boy's arm around his stomach shortly before going back to his activity.

"Nothing, I'm excited, I wanna gooo… come on, Li, you already look stunning and you can't look any hotter because I want to have you all to myself." Letting go now, Niall attempted to take the older boy's hand into his, having to pull on his elbow for a while though, well aware that he was being a pain in the ass, but Liam chuckled before eventually giving in, letting him intertwine their fingers even if they were just going to the front door.

"We're gonna be there early enough, babe, it's only a 10 minute drive, you know." Yeah, Niall did know that, but he wasn't joking around if it was about going to dinner with Liam, even if it wasn't that fancy, it's not like they had dressed up or anything. Well, Liam looked like a supermodel but what was new?

It was funny actually, how things seemed to be a lot simpler ever since the whole drama had happened, like, sure, Liam's flat was kinda small and the neighbours sometimes were being loud until 2 am (not that Niall cared, they had a lot of activities to pass time at night when they couldn't sleep) and the car he had bought after selling his really expensive one was victim of Harry's endless jokes now, but it's like after getting rid of all these things, their life seemed to be a lot simple all of a sudden. And it wasn't only Niall who found that, Liam completely agreed, well, he still spent too much money on the younger boy though, claiming that he was the only thing he really needed his money for anyways. Though Niall complained about that a lot, it still got him blushing quite terribly every time.

Even though the drive was short just like Liam had said, he still held Niall's hand whenever he didn't need both of his to drive the car, it was kinda his thing and Niall wasn't gonna start complaining because he loved it. Loved having their intertwined fingers in his lap while watching the older boy drive with the windows halfway down because it was June even though Liam had had quite the worries what the wind would do to his hair, apparently not aware how fucking good he looked like this. And he had his sunglasses on too and that black shirt with the sleeves pushed up that Niall already made plans to rip off of him later.

"Why are you staring at me like that, Ni? Is it because the wind-"

"No, Liam, the wind did NOT ruin your hair, you're just bloody hot, that's why." Also, he was incredibly cute because his cheeks turned red at an instant as Niall said those words, eyes glued on the street now while the younger boy had to hold back a chuckle. It was true nevertheless.

"Keep your pants on for a bit, please, at least until after I paid." Then he allowed himself to laugh for a second, squeezing Niall's fingers a bit. "You look really nice too, babe, I love that shirt on you, matches your eyes."

See, that was the difference between them, Liam would never tell Niall that he was hot or whatever, he'd always put it into really nice, genuine words that caused the younger boy to blush even worse, even if he tried to play it cool, pretending to having to scratch his cheek with his free hand to hide the redness a bit. "Well, you bought it for me, Liam, you better like it…"

"I do like it, Ni, very much actually, I kinda wish you wouldn't have worn it though." There was a smirk on his lips now that confused Niall a little bit, what was that supposed to mean?

"If that is because I dropped some of my dessert over my shirt yesterday, that was only one time." Or twenty.

"No, that's not what I meant actually. What I meant was I wish you wouldn't have worn it because now everyone is gonna stare at you for looking so nice but I don't want anyone to look at you like that except for me." Oh god, why was he such a charmer?!

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny, Liam, really…" Of course Liam half meant it as a joke, and as a complement, not as if he would start punching people for looking at Niall or would get mad, but knowing that caused the younger boy to sink even deeper into the passenger seat, still smiling to himself though, he liked Liam's possessive side. A lot.

"I'm being serious, Nialler, we all know how lucky I am, no need to pretend it's not the truth." Well, if he used that genuine voice then Niall never actually knew whether Liam was being serious or not, but just the thought that he might be caused the butterflies in his tummy to go a little bit crazy.

"Stop making me blush…" He complained quietly, no being able to resist and not join a little bit as Liam started laughing softly, bringing their intertwined hands to his mouth to kiss Niall's knuckles, obviously not aware how good he looked while driving so easily with one hand. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just telling you how it is. And I like making you complements because your cheeks always turn really pink and it's the cutest thing ever." Right, this was not at all helping Niall to relax!

"You always get quite red too!" Actually Niall wasn't the one who got embarrassed that easily, it was just when it came out of Liam's mouth.

"I know." And then he just laughed again like the goof he was, probably not aware of Niall still mindlessly staring at his profile like he always did when they were in the car, it was kinda fascinating to him, and also the only time when Liam couldn't do anything about it, just like when he was asleep.

As Liam stopped the car, Niall was glad that his cheeks felt as if they had gone back to a normal colour, also, he used the chance to wipe his slightly sweaty hand against his jeans while walking around the car, not even thinking about not holding Liam's hand anymore only because of it getting warmer, he didn't care what the older boy thought, knowing for a fact that he definitely did not find it gross. Then again, he also had had his tongue in places last night that wouldn't be appropriate to mention so there was that.

"Thank you for taking me out to dinner." Before Liam could react, Niall pressed their lips together shortly, smiling up at the older boy afterwards as he let his arm fall around his shoulders to pull him in closer. 

"You're welcome, baby. We gotta celebrate your C plus, right?" Sounded a lot as if Niall was still in school, something that Louis and Harry always found very funny to joke about, despite the fact that they only had a 3 year age gap, they still had funny throwing terms like Sugar Daddy around, which wasn't fitting in any way seeing as Liam didn't even earn that much money any more.

"It was actually a D… minus. But I don't mind you changing it up, you know?" Curling his arm around Liam's waist, Niall was more than happy about the forehead kiss he received before they made their way to the door. "Next time I'm gonna take _you_ out, because you probably accomplish more in a day than I do in a month."

"Shush, Nialler, that's not true and you know it. Besides, I'm just making up all these reasons to celebrate because I like treating you to dinner, I thought you knew that." Of course Niall knew that, but it didn't stop him from giggling a bit stupidly, pressing closer into Liam's side for a second before letting go to step into the restaurant first while Liam was holding the door open, like always, protectively keeping his hand on the small of Niall's back. "Choose whatever table you want, I didn't make reservations."

"Okay. This is a lot fancier than I thought." Niall lowered his voice immediately after taking a look around, making sure to stay close to Liam's side because the last thing he wanted was to stop having to have physical contact with the older boy and he still had his palm on his back, rubbing it between his shoulder blades now. "You know I'd also be happy with McDonald's, right? You don't have to spend so much money because of me."

"I know, Nialler, but I wanted it to be special." Well, that was quite weird though, as far as Niall was concerned nothing special had happened really, his birthday was only in a few months, so was Liam's and also their anniversary, even if he did get panicked for a second, thinking he had forgotten anything, but there really was nothing at all.

"Why? Are you gonna ask me to marry you?" Once they had found a table, Niall decided to crack a stupid joke, mostly so Liam would maybe tell him the truth, but the older boy just laughed, shaking his head a bit.

"If I asked you to marry me I would make it a bit more romantic than this, trust me." Shit, now Niall was scared, he'd have to propose first if he didn't wanna drown in a sea of tears, Liam was too good with the romantic stuff, he hadn't been in the beginning of their relationship, but he definitely was now, he was like, born to be someone's boyfriend and make them feel like the most important thing in the world, that's how lucky Niall was. "You're gonna have to wait a bit to find out, I'll tell you eventually."

"How kind." Niall joked, chuckling as he moved his arm away so Liam couldn't pinch it gently like he had obviously planned on doing. "Too slow, Li."

"I'm gonna get you one time, babe, just wait." Then he winked at him, in the way that caused Niall's face to grow a bit hotter, but he laughed it off before taking a seat, not very happy about the distance they now had between them, like, the whole table, but the blonde boy was well aware that he couldn't always play clingy koala with Liam, he'd have enough time to do that later once they were back at the older boy's flat. Niall hadn't asked whether he could sleep over yet, but… why would he not right?

He didn't have to worry about not touching too much though, because Liam was always occasionally putting his hand on top of Niall's whenever he put it on the table, which he did a lot of course for obvious reasons, and also, Niall wasn't sure whether he really always got food on his face or if Liam just had a thing for reaching over and wiping imaginary stuff off of Niall. Who knows, right, it's not as if Niall would start complaining about it.

Halfway through their dinner, Niall already having stared at Liam's food for so long that he had gotten a bite for at least 5 times, the younger boy decided that he couldn't take it anymore, like, he knew that it probably wasn't THAT much of a special reason and that maybe Liam was teasing him a little bit, but he still desperately wanted to know. "So, am I ever gonna find out what the occasion is for this? I mean it's really good, better than the last place we went to and that was hard to compete with, so is there a reason or are you just making fun of me? Please, Liii, you know I hate surprises."

"You don't hate surprises, you just hate about knowing them beforehand and having to wait." True, but Niall pulled his puppy eyes anyways, even if Liam was way better at them, but them older boy shook his head at him, smiling softly as he wiped his mouth, of course not talking with it half full like Niall sometimes did. "Alright, well, it's actually not that special at all, but I still thought it's kinda … something that deserves attention, I don't know, I'll just show you, okay?"

"Okay." Truth be told, Niall was almost bursting with curiosity now, he put his fork down, actually not that keen on eating this pasta anymore as he had been 3 seconds before, trying not to lean over the table too obviously to see what Liam was searching for in the pockets of his jeans. "You didn't just try to cover up your proposal before just so you can do it for real now, right?"

"Jesus, Ni, if I had known you're so keen on marrying me I would've tried a bit harder and maybe actually done it." Causing the younger boy to blush slightly because he had just been joking (well partly, he wouldn't say no obviously), Liam just laughed softly as he got something out of his pockets, keeping it in his closed fist though as he put it on the table, smirking a bit, probably because Niall was pretending to pout now. "Okay, so, I know this is kinda weird to ask of me because it's somehow obvious, but I went to get this made for you and… do you wanna officially move in with me? And give up your dorm I mean, you already-"

"Wait, really?!" How could he say it so casually? Niall almost jumped across the table as Liam opened his fist, showing Niall a key, even with a little heart chain on it that Niall was gonna strangle himself with, what the hell, this was the cutest thing ever and Liam talked on as if it was nothing! 

"Yeah, of course, I… why are you so surprised though?" He seemed honestly confused, letting the younger boy take the key now, apparently not getting the excitement Niall was experiencing currently. Hell, he couldn't believe this, he had been wanting this so badly.

"Because it's a huge deal?! And what do you mean, officially, I haven't moved in with you at all!" Well, he spent most of his time there and obviously that had led to quite the misunderstanding because Liam was just cocking his head a bit, still surprised by the younger boy's reaction obviously.

"Almost all of your stuff is in my closet, you even have your own toothbrush and towel in my bathroom, of course you somehow moved in with me? If I had known you saw it that way I would've asked you much sooner, babe." He shook his head a few times, laughing a bit, as if this was the most ridiculous thing in the world, and maybe it was but Niall didn't care, his heart was warming up as he reached out for the key, a smile creeping into his face. That definitely was a special occasion. 

"Really? You want me to move in with you? And you're not just asking because you feel bad because Louis is gonna move in with Harry and I'd have to get a dorm all for myself?" He couldn't help but ask, already being able by Liam's face that that definitely was not the case.

"I didn't even know about that. Why didn't you tell me? Did you honestly think I'd let you live in a dorm all by yourself?!" Alright now, that did sound a bit offended, but Niall was so relieved and happy all of a sudden that he couldn't have stopped smiling even if he had wanted to, closing his own fist around the key now, his heart swelling with how much he loved the boy sitting across from him. Still with a very concerned expression, but that didn't keep Niall from wanting to throw himself into Liam's arms.

"I didn't, I just… was waiting for you to bring it up I guess, I.. can you ask me again?" Maybe this was dumb as hell, but Niall just wanted to react properly this time, so Liam knew how much he really appreciated this.

"I… alright, if it makes you happy." Rolling his eyes, Liam put up his crooked smile anyways, obviously not even slightly bothered by this, his voice softer as he spoke up again, eyes locked with Niall's, maybe going a bit too far, but it was just for fun anyways. "Niall James Horan, would you do the honour of moving in with me?"

"Yes!" And maybe Niall had been a tad too loud while agreeing, causing Liam's eyes to go a bit wider, especially when he found it'd be a good idea to jump up and out of his chair, walking around the table to just kiss the older boy straight on the lips before throwing his arms around the his neck, still holding tightly onto the key, not being able to hold his laughter back in.

Actually, it was quite embarrassing in the end, because even though Liam hugged back of course, chuckling a bit over the younger boy's behaviour, he did almost kill Niall with laughter by having to say something like 'I didn't ask him to marry me' over his shoulder because someone had seriously been about to clap. 

Apart from that and Liam's bright, red face though, this was probably the most exciting dinner they had ever had and Niall was sure his cheeks were gonna hurt tomorrow from having to smile so hard all through the rest of it. 

 

————

 

It felt like such a big thing to do, adding this key to the ones Niall already had, and he knew he made Liam extremely happy by being so damn excited about this, he could tell by the way the older boy smiled at him softly, pulling him closer and placing soft kisses somewhere in his face every time Niall would bring it up again.

And he did, for the rest of the night, even once they got home and Liam suggested they should watch some movies, Niall couldn't help but point it out every two seconds, even as he came back from the bathroom, towel only low around his hips, hair pretty wet, already having thought of the perfect thing to say to Liam once he got back to his bedroom. "Liam, I think _our_ shower is broken."

"What… is it really?" The surprised face quickly got replaced by half a smile, Liam rolled his eyes as he got up out of the bed to come over to where Niall was standing by the door, cupping his face gently before placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"No, I just wanted to say it, you know." God, Niall was so childish, but he made himself giggle, he didn't even know why he was so happy about this, hell, he had spent almost every day and night here already!

"You are the most adorable thing in the world, Nialler, if I had known this, I would've done that a lot sooner, trust me." Kissing him once more, Liam shook his head, smiling before brushing his thumb over the younger boy's cheek softly, slowly attempting to walk away then, winking at Niall. "I'm gonna go shower now, alright? You can pick out a movie to watch on _our_ TV meanwhile, okay? I'm fine with everything."

The fact that Liam was playing along gave Niall a rush kinda, he could've started dancing around now from how high he felt from this, almost asking the older boy whether he could come shower with him. Not even for anything sexual, just so they could keep talking about it. "Okay, I'm gonna borrow your shirt, alright?"

"Babe, it's _our_ shirt now." Liam joked, laughing loudly as Niall pretended to be kicking him, not even being able to pretend to be just a little bit mad though.

Mostly, Niall took Liam's sleep shirt to put on after he was alone in the room so the older boy would sleep shirtless, but also because he liked the way it smelled and how big it was on him, plus Liam always called him cute, so why the hell would Niall ever wear his own clothes again? He did put on his own boxer shorts though, but that was about it.

Crawling into the bed once he was dressed, Niall couldn't help but feeling yet another rush of excitement as he thought about how he would sleep here every night from now on, he almost had anyways, but not EVERY time, so this was still exciting. Liam had promised they could go and get all of Niall's stuff tomorrow, like, he didn't even have to go back to his dorm anymore after that! Well, his parents would still have to pay for it until the end of the month, but damn, Niall couldn't wait to call his mum and tell her about this, or Louis, and oh god, that actually meant Niall could stay here in this flat during summer holidays, even when Liam was at work. If that wasn't the best thing ever then Niall didn't know what it was.

There was no new movie that Niall wanted to watch really, so he picked one that he knew both of them liked, cuddling into the sheets and waiting to press play for his boyfriend to come back first so he wouldn't miss the beginning. Even though, he probably already knew it by heart, but Niall wanted them to watch it together, hell, he wanted to do everything with Liam and he wasn't ashamed of admitting it.

As the older boy came back, Niall felt like he had actually won the lottery today or something, sure, he had watched him being all naked and wet and drying himself before putting on very low sweatpants all the time, but he'd never get tired of seeing the boy's godlike body anyways.

"So what are watching?" Liam asked after closing the door and turning the lights off, climbing into bed as well and underneath the blanket Niall was already holding open for him.

"The same thing we always watch when there's nothing else. You don't mind, do you?" Getting a very sweet kiss on the lips before Liam settled down was quite distracting for Niall, but he somehow managed to hold onto the remote, automatically adjusting to Liam's body next to his, feeling the older boy's arm around him as he rested his head onto his shoulder, breathing in the intoxicating smell of Liam's shower gel. 

"Of course not, you know we're only gonna pay attention for the first half anyways." That comment caused Niall to laugh because it was so true, he made sure to cuddle up to the older boy as tightly as possible, slipping his leg in between Liam's before pressing play, his arm somehow automatically finding its way around his boyfriend's stomach. A little bit because he was used to it, but also so Niall could draw patterns on his bare skin underneath the blanket, feeling Liam's fingers doing the same on his upper arm and shoulder.

It was true, that they usually never payed attention until the end, also this time. They did watch for a while, but Niall couldn't hold back anymore then, his mind still too caught up with what had happened before, he started planting little kisses on Liam's bare shoulder, lifting his head a bit then to continue up his neck, then his jaw, cheek, eventually reaching his ear, almost lying on top of the other boy now as he whispered. "I love you, Liam, thank you so much for making me happy. Not only today, but every day since I met you."

A shudder went through Liam's body as he tightened his arm around Niall, other hand finding the one on his stomach to intertwine their fingers, turning his head a bit so they were almost face to face. "I love you too, baby boy. There's nothing in the world I love more than making my reason to get up every day and my personal sunshine happy. Come here."

Niall hadn't thought his cheeks could hurt even more, but they did as Liam called him those things, their mouths on top of each other within seconds, both of them eager to deepen it immediately, holding onto the other for dear life.

Yeah, Niall had maybe planned on getting something more going tonight, but as they made out on the bed underneath the warm blanket with the movie still going on in the background, Niall suddenly didn't really care so much anymore. There was nothing he wanted more in this moment than the gentle, slow and wonderful kisses they shared, the loving touches, just being completely caught up into the other with the promise of falling asleep in Liam's arms later, their limbs all tangled up in their cocoon of warmth and happiness.

No matter what might have happened, the troubles they might have had in the beginning, the way they were now, had been for the past few months and most part of their relationship, was exactly the way they had always been meant to be, Niall was absolutely sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another early update & also the last one! thank you everyone for reading this story and for giving me kudos and always commenting on it, i really do appreciate it very much and i really hope i can soon work on a new fic for you guys! :)  
> and i hope you all like the ending to this one too, this story didn't really turn out like i planned it, but they barely ever do, so i hope you still liked it!


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